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Rollcall of the Dicks

Finally got around to doing this – making up a master list of Dead Pool winners. The numbering got a little wobbly in the middle, and again at the end (next round will be 30, not 29 — erm, I think). Let me know if you spot any other problems.

1. Enas Yorl – Ted Kennedy
2. Mongo – Patrick Swayze
3. Princess Bernie – Susan Atkins
4. Sockless Joe – Alexander Haig
5. nachogranny – Peter Graves
6. EZnSF – Art Linkletter
17. Tawny – Gary Coleman
18. Steve – John Wooden
29. Steve – Robert Byrd
10. Sherlock – Dan Schorr
11. MrCaniac – Barbara Billingsly
12. Harbqll – Liz Taylor
13. Montenegro – Osama bin Laden
14. DeGuerre – Harmon Killebrew
215. Tawny – Jeff Conaway
16. Grasshopper – Nick Charles
skip two?
18. thefritz – Delores Hope
19. Mrs Hill – Anwar al-Awlaki
20. Formerly Known as Skeptic – Moammar Gadhafi
21. Oh, hell – Andy Rooney
22. Veeshir – Harry Morgan
123. Mrs Peel – Christopher Hitchens
224. Mrs Peel – Kim Jong Il
25. Xul – Etta James
26. Mr and Mrs Weaselwannabe – Joe Paterno
27. FGW – Dick Clark
28. Pablo – Chuck Colson
329. Steve – Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi

Thus confirming that Steve (wherever he is) is our first Triple Dick Winner.

You — yes, you! — could see your name on the Roll of Dicks. Be here, tomorrow, 6pm WBT, and start your personal journey to Dick!

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 24, 2012, 10:37 pm

I have it in my head that I sent Some Vegetable a dick that never arrived, long ago. It wasn’t a Dead Pool, so it must have been some other contest…

 


Comment from Mojo
Time: May 24, 2012, 10:50 pm

“Triple Dick Winner”?

With or without nuts?

 


Comment from steve
Time: May 24, 2012, 11:55 pm

Stoaty!

Do you need me to forward my address to you again? Or do you know it by heart already?

 


Comment from Spad 13
Time: May 25, 2012, 12:15 am

Steve stop bogarting the dick dude give someone else a taste.

 


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: May 25, 2012, 1:09 am

OK, Steve. What assassins guild are you hiring?

 


Comment from Oceania
Time: May 25, 2012, 1:25 am

Where do they make these again?

 


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: May 25, 2012, 1:29 am

The obvious solution is to pay Steve to pick certain people.

 


Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: May 25, 2012, 2:10 am

Seriously, Stoaty, How is it you manage to make those things look like black mold and sputum. It’s rather stomach-turning.

Do you, and Uncle B, actually eat those things?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 25, 2012, 2:25 am

We who are dickless salute you winners!

 


Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: May 25, 2012, 3:36 am

Follow up to:

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: May 25, 2012, 1:09 am

OK, Steve. What assassins guild are you hiring?

And what are their rates? Do they have a volume discount?

Subotai Bahadur

 


Comment from xul
Time: May 25, 2012, 3:59 am

Stoaty, I think my dick was Shanghaied. Never got it. Not even a moldy, sputum covered one. :(

 


Comment from Mija Cat
Time: May 25, 2012, 4:03 am

Hurry up, dead pool! Elton John’s in the hospital!

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/05/elton-john-hospital-serious-respiratory-infection.html

 


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:03 am

Your resident OCD guy sez:

You missed one. (Original) #13, won by Carl with Seve Ballesteros in only seven hours. Unless you changed your mind and accepted Carl’s disclaimer. Here is my complete list, with dates and original numbers. The last column is days after opening that the winner picked. 18 were picked opening day. The record delay is Princess Bernie scooping Clarence Clemmons 11 days in.

# – opened – who died – picked by – picked on – delay

1 – 7/20/09 – Ted Kennedy – Enas Yorl – 7/20/09 – 0
2 – 8/26/09 – Patrick Swayze – mongo – 8/26/09 – 0
3 – 9/15/09 – Susan Atkins – Princess Bernie – 9/16/09 – 1
4 – 9/25/09 – Al Haig – Sockless Joe – 9/26/09 – 1
5 – 2/26/10 – Peter Graves – nachogranny – 2/28/10 – 2
6 – 3/19/10 – Art Linkletter – EZnSF – 3/19/10 – 0
7 – 5/28/10 – Gary Coleman – tawny – 5/28/10 – 0
8 – 6/4/10 – John Wooden – steve – 6/4/10 – 0
9 – 6/11/10 – Robert Byrd – steve – 6/11/10 – 0
10 – 7/2/10 – Dan Schorr – sherlock – 7/4/10 – 2
10A – 7/30/10 – Barbara Billingsly – MrCaniac – 7/30/10 – 0
11 – 10/22/10 – Liz Taylor – Harbqll – 10/24/10 – 2
12 – 3/25/11 – Osama bin Laden – Montenegro – 3/26/11 – 1
13 – 5/6/11 – Seve Ballesteros – Carl – 5/6/11 – 0
14 – 5/13/11 – Harmon Killebrew – DeGuerre – 5/13/11 – 0
15 – 5/20/11 – Jeff Conaway – tawny – 5/20/11 – 0
16 – 6/3/11 – Clarence Clemmons – Princess Bernie – 6/14/11 – 11
17 – 6/24/11 – Nick Charles – Grasshopper – 6/25/11 – 1
18 – 7/1/11 – Dolores Hope – thefritz – 7/6/11 – 5
19 – 9/23/11 – Anwar al-Awlaki – Mrs. Hill – 9/26/11 – 3
20 – 10/7/11 – Muammar Gaddafi – Formerly known as Skeptic – 10/7/11 – 0
21 – 10/21/11 – Andy Rooney – Oh Hell – 10/23/11 – 2
22 – 11/11/11 – Harry Morgan – Veeshir – 11/11/11 – 0
23 – 12/9/11 – Christopher Hitchens – Mrs. Peel – 12/9/11 – 0
24 – 12/16/11 – Kim Jong-il – Mrs. Peel – 12/16/11 – 0
24A – 12/23/11 – Etta James – xul – 12/23/11 – 0
25 – 1/20/12 – Joe Paterno – weaselwannabe – 1/20/12 – 0
26 – 1/27/12 – Dick Clark – FGW – 2/3/12 – 7
27 – 4/20/12 – Chuck Colson – Pablo – 4/20/12 – 0
28 – 4/27/12 – Abdelbaset Mohamed Ali al-Megrahi – steve – 4/27/12 – 0

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: May 25, 2012, 7:13 am

By ‘eck, that’s a lot of dick.

 


Comment from Oceania
Time: May 25, 2012, 8:18 am

Something Wicked this Way Comes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6RykQF4HqA&feature=plcp

 


Comment from Oceania
Time: May 25, 2012, 8:33 am

My background rate here inside has gone from 0,12 to a max of 0,23 microSieverts per hour … and now fallen to 0,18.
Outside my front lawn is sitting at 0,24 and the drains around here can be hot – others not. One is putting out 0,38 micros at 1 meter above it.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:52 am

Awesome, Rich! I knew I could count on you!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 25, 2012, 12:30 pm

Ahem. Your dick didn’t go out all that long ago, Xul. I told you I took forever (and the postal service has been known to take as long as six months!). Don’t panic — dick is on the way.

Steve, shoot me your address again. I started to keep a file on this, but someone actually moved between dicks, so I figured I’d ask for it afresh each time.

And I actually stole that pic, FG. I’m afraid that’s just what spotted dick looks like. Those are sultanas, which are raisins on steroids.

 


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: May 25, 2012, 1:25 pm

Seems to me I’ve seen spotted dick on sale at World Market.

It’d be a lot more fun to win it this way.

 


Comment from Noelegy
Time: May 25, 2012, 4:08 pm

You can buy Heinz canned Spotted Dick in the international foods aisle at Kroger. I bought some for my brother- and sister-in-law as a gag gift, once. You can also buy Cock Flavoured Soup Mix.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 25, 2012, 4:51 pm

There’s no dick like prize dick.

What is best in life? To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of those losers who have to buy their own dick.

 


Comment from xul
Time: May 25, 2012, 5:17 pm

Aw dang, Stoaty. I was sure that postal workers were doing depraved things with my prized dick. Wait…what did I just say? Eh-hem. 😛

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:44 pm

I never did request my dick for my amazing back-to-back. I think I might rather have a genyoowine Weasel Aviator drawing for my baby son’s airplane-themed room. How about it, Stoaty? Put goggles and a scarf on a weasel with an old-timey airplane in the background?

 


Comment from thefritz
Time: May 27, 2012, 1:29 am

How proud to see my name among such esteemed characters. If I die tomorrow I will have lived a full life cuz my name is on the Dick roll. (but if one of you bastards picks me and wins I swear I’ll haunt your ass from the grave till the end of time…)

 


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: May 30, 2012, 12:27 am

Not counting the current DP…

There have been 2,223 valid picks.

That includes Monotone’s 20 selections of Ruby Muhammad after she died. It turns out that Mono should have won DP 11 with her. harbqll won with Liz Taylor, but Ruby Muhammad beat her by three weeks. Maybe add a rule – the winner has to call it with 24 hours?

There have been 603 names submitted.

Most picked:

29 – Jimmy Carter
29 – Margaret Thatcher
28 – Fidel Castro
27 – Zsa Zsa Gabor
26 – Kirk Douglas
25 – Michael Moore
24 – Helen Thomas
24 – Gordon Brown
24 – Ernest Borgnine
24 – Abe Vigoda
22 – Larry King
21 – Dick Cheney
21 – Betty White

Most picks made:

30 – Scubafreak
28 – JeffS
27 – Janna
27 – Armybrat
26 – steve
26 – Pablo
26 – David Gillies (all but two of Gordon Brown)
25 – Spad13
25 – Mija Cat
25 – Gromulin
24 – Rich Rostrom (23 different targets)
24 – PatAZ
24 – MrCaniac
24 – Eirik
23 – Montenegro
23 – Monotone (The Elderish)
23 – Mandel Bread
22 – Mrs. Compton
21 – Oh Hell

(except this is wrong, because somewhere I lost four of my own picks; I’ve made 28 (27 targets); but it’s close).

Most valid picks in a pool: #5, 131.
Fewest valid picks in a pool: #7, 23.

No #1 pick has come in, but one #2, two #3s, two #4s, two #5s, one #6, and one #7. The deepest winning pick was #95; the average is #33

Most desired: Robert Byrd, average pick position 2.78,
followed by Jimmey Carter, 8.93, and Zsa Zsa Gabor, 10.04. (This excludes people picked three times or less.)

3 deaths by violence, 25 by natural causes. No ODs or accidents.

 

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