Everything is coming up Workforce Update 28
Oh. OH! Can I have a meme? I swear I’ll take care of it. I’ll feed it and take it for walks. Just this once, pleeeease?
It seems someone used the microwave to warm up people shit in Brighton (it’s hard to beat the headline Poo Found in Brighton Council Microwave).
The council being the council, they wrapped the appliance in crime scene tape and stuck a note to it. And left it there for a week.
An update sent round to all members of staff, titled Workforce Update 28, said: “The microwave in the canteen has unfortunately been used to heat excrement and cannot be made hygienic or safe to use.
“Please do not use. We will have it disconnected and removed.
“This kind of behaviour is totally unacceptable and we will not be replacing the microwave.”
Staff has taken to referring to the whole incident as Workforce Update 28. Which is the meme I want. It’s my meme, and I want it.
Unfortunately, I haven’t pinned down the situation where this phrase would be appropriate. Which of life’s many vicissitudes corresponds to “someone has heated a bowl of shit in the communal microwave”?