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Round 36: they’re dying for some dick

The elegantly named 16920502 took Round 35 with Phyllis Diller. Who, we all agreed, was a grand old gal and a sad loss to humanity. But, hey, she was 95, it’s the Dead Pool and a dick is a dick.

Now brace yourselves; here we go…!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

What do we want? Aunty’s dick! When do we want it? When it gets here!


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:00 pm

I think Sun Myung Moon is ready to move onto Peace Island.

Comment from Fawn
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:01 pm

Penny Marshall again.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:01 pm

Hugo Chaves

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:04 pm

Representative Todd Akin of Missouri.

1) He is too dumb for Darwin to overlook him much longer, and 2) for both being funded by his Democrat opponent and giving Obama a. the Senate seat he claims he is “running for”, b. perhaps giving Obama control of the Senate, and c. perhaps giving Obama the presidency for life.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:07 pm

Phil Collins.

Comment from Janna
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:10 pm

jimmy carter

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:18 pm

Castro, Castro, Castro! Muerte Fidel!

Comment from Chieftain
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:21 pm

I’ll stick with Charles Manson.

Comment from Pablo
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:23 pm

What? Zsa Zsa Gabor is still available? Let’s do this, girlfriend!

Comment from Hutch
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:24 pm

Back to Eli Wallach for me.

Comment from LesterIII
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:26 pm

Tried to pick Zsa Zsa, but Pablo beat me…

Back to Hugh Hefner. Syphilis is making it’s rounds in his kiddie-pool… errr… grotto.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:28 pm

I’ll take Rev. Billy Graham.

Comment from Dustoffmom
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:33 pm

sticking with Nancy Reagan

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:37 pm

Maggie Thatcher for the looooooose!

Comment from 16920502
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:44 pm

OK, how about James Garner.

Comment from Ben
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:50 pm

Sticking with William Shatner since I’m back in the US.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: August 24, 2012, 6:50 pm

Nelson Mandella, please

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:02 pm

Nelson Mandela for the dick

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:07 pm

Ahmadinejad, hopefully soon!

Comment from StPatrick
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:08 pm

Hosni Mubarak

Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:09 pm

Erich Priebke

I hate Nazis.

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:09 pm

Jim Nabors for the dick.

Comment from CheshireLion
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:15 pm

Pat Summerall

Comment from Pupster
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:19 pm

Kirk Douglass

Comment from Nora
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:20 pm

Gwynneth Paltrow, please God make her go away.

(and my mother-in-law for a bonus)

Comment from Eirik
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:20 pm

Robert Mugabe

Comment from rustbucket
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:35 pm

Uncle Joe Biden…during his “visit” to the RNC in Tampa…by a faux-tea-partier (read:Obama operative)…how’s that for a conspiracy theory?

Comment from tawny
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:37 pm

Since my usual favourites are taken, I’ll go with Harper Lee.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:39 pm

Lance Armstrong

Comment from Crabby Old Bat
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:42 pm

Andy Williams, because the National Enquirer says he is on his last gasp, and when is the NE ever wrong?

Comment from Clifford Skridlow
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:52 pm

Ha. Got my hammer. Pete Seeger. Time of day not important.

Comment from Vince
Time: August 24, 2012, 7:52 pm

Sandusky in a terrible broom handle accident in prison

Comment from Michael
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:05 pm

you know, Keith Richards isn’t getting any healthier (or younger)

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:13 pm

I hadn’t thought of that, Vince.

Comment from Susan G.
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:20 pm

I am going with Courtney Love.

Comment from zimmermanfan
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:21 pm

Clint Eastwood

Comment from RealMc
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:22 pm

Taylor Swift with an intoxicated Kennedy involved one way or another……..

Comment from ZooomZooom
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:23 pm

Abe Vigoda…….I can’t believe that guy is STILL alive….he’s gotta be at least 150 something.

Comment from Chooom Chooom
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:25 pm

Charles “Helter Skelter” Manson

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:32 pm

Wow, MrCaniac…I thought Nabors died ages ago, but you’re right. Still with us.

I had no idea his poncey name was James Thurston Nabors. That don’t sound right.

Comment from Redd
Time: August 24, 2012, 8:55 pm

Taylor Swift with an intoxicated Kennedy involved one way or another……..

Right. And it would be spun as “the poor Kennedys” — nothing is ever their fault.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: August 24, 2012, 9:02 pm

I’ll take Muhammad Ali once again!

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: August 24, 2012, 9:21 pm

Once more unto the breach, dear friends and fellow pursuiants of dick…(that didn’t ‘zactly come out just the way I expected – oh, well)

Insaney Janey Fonda for the winnn-n-n!!!, preferably by meltinnn-n-ng – ’cause even the Wicked Bitch of the Left Coast has gotta go sometime, and why not now, say I?

Here’s hoping, BTW, that 16920502 does not pull off a twofer – Jim Garner may be gettin’ kind creaky and gimpy (as who ain’t these days?), but he’s aways been a class act as well as a pretty classy actor, and I’d like to see him stick around for awhile just yet.

Comment from Malcolm Kirkpatrick
Time: August 24, 2012, 9:32 pm

Call me Cynic. Ayman Zawahiri, one week before the election.

Comment from HTB
Time: August 24, 2012, 9:55 pm

The Winds of No More…Herman Wouk

Comment from Spad 13
Time: August 24, 2012, 10:06 pm

Stickin with Dan Rather.

Comment from RealMc
Time: August 24, 2012, 10:14 pm

I’d be happy to lose because Jane Traitor communist biotch DIED.

Good luck J.S.Bridges…….

Comment from Gromulin
Time: August 24, 2012, 10:16 pm

Jabba the (Michael) Moore

Comment from m
Time: August 24, 2012, 10:36 pm

Harry Belafonte

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: August 24, 2012, 10:37 pm

Four hours late and I can have…

Bashir Assad!


Comment from Potato Bandit
Time: August 24, 2012, 10:42 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from JeffS
Time: August 24, 2012, 10:53 pm

Nancy Pelosi.

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 24, 2012, 11:12 pm

I knew this would happen. I’m off at the crack of dawn to drive my daughter to college so I’m out of pocket all day. I just checked into the hotel in Tallahassee, fire up the free wireless in my delightful Wyndham suite only to find AltBBrown poached My man Moon….and the first pick to boot!
OK Brown….if you win the dick because Moon bites the biscuit I hope you have the decency to share.
I pick the low hanging fruit….Olivia De Havilland

Comment from little, little
Time: August 24, 2012, 11:14 pm

Can’t believe Mickey Rooney is still above room temperature. Just think, Judy Garland left us 43 years ago, when I was but a lad. He was first paired with her in film in 1937, 75 years ago!

Comment from USCitizen
Time: August 24, 2012, 11:35 pm

Edward Asner

Comment from JC
Time: August 24, 2012, 11:35 pm

Once again, noted Texas Jacques BArzun

Comment from sandman will resist
Time: August 24, 2012, 11:41 pm

Jesse jackass Jackson, senior and junior. In a whore house, doing the same skank, possibly but not necessarily a Kardashian/Jenner for the dick.

Two Dick for the price of one…as it were. Possibly a Kardashian thrown into the deal as a side effect.

The Jacksons, whose weakness of character, marital infidelity and personal corruption aren’t flaws…they’re features…

And let’s throw in that processed hair media Whore…Al “Relaxed Weave” Sharpton…who truly is a dick.

Comment from sandman will resist
Time: August 24, 2012, 11:49 pm

No one has taken Leftist Stalwart Disinformation Minister Comrade Sam Donaldson, surprisingly enough. His toupee is made from the same coon skin that Davie Crockett was killed whilst wearing, at the Alamo.

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: August 24, 2012, 11:50 pm

You’re close, sandman .. but it’ll be Charlie Rangel.

Dude is 82 ..


Comment from Armybrat
Time: August 25, 2012, 12:00 am

George Soros, because that scummy kapo is many years past his due date. May he rot in Hell.

Comment from bigsmarthuman
Time: August 25, 2012, 12:05 am

Arrrgh! I was early, and then I forgot, so I lost my main man Pete Seeger to Clifford Skridlow. Phooey.

Guess I’ll just have to go with Bill Ayers.

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: August 25, 2012, 12:29 am

Frank Lautenberg because he’s the oldest living senator and a democrat.

Comment from Davem123
Time: August 25, 2012, 12:52 am

Harry Reid. Coming this late to the party, I’m just glad he’s still available.

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 25, 2012, 1:17 am

Prince Harry The Ginger Bastard

Comment from xul
Time: August 25, 2012, 2:02 am

Ray Harryhausen

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: August 25, 2012, 2:04 am

Helen Thomas

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 25, 2012, 2:06 am

I’m sticking with David Rockefeller, doyen of rat banksters.

Comment from naleta
Time: August 25, 2012, 2:19 am

Larry King. He’s gotta go sometime!

Comment from huerfano
Time: August 25, 2012, 2:32 am

Mrs. Jimmy Carter, obnoxious old hide that she is.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: August 25, 2012, 2:58 am

Gordon “Autistic Spendthrift” Brown.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: August 25, 2012, 3:04 am

John David Dingell, Jr., Representative for Michigan’s 15th congressional district, emblem of corrupt and stupid Detroit, canker sore of union cancer, eating away at productive America. In Congress since 1955, it’s time you pushed up daisies, you old gasbag. You’re not even worthy of mockery any longer. Useless. Stupid. Carcass.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: August 25, 2012, 3:57 am

Letterman, the jerk. Because I had picked John Dingel and my entry didn’t post and Expresso beat me. That’s what I get for being so late.

Comment from Mr. Matamoros
Time: August 25, 2012, 4:58 am

David Crosby…just because…

Comment from p2
Time: August 25, 2012, 5:46 am

James Cagney. he’s gotta be elevnty bazillion years old by now……

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: August 25, 2012, 6:05 am


Cagney would be really old now if he hadn’t died back in 86.

Comment from catnip
Time: August 25, 2012, 6:47 am

Dame Vera Lynn

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 25, 2012, 10:02 am

Doesn’t the Wyndham chain still have their famous All-You-Can-Eat-Spotted-Dick buffet in the morning?

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 25, 2012, 1:40 pm

sadly no. it’s been replaced with sour grapes….

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: August 25, 2012, 2:00 pm

Is Olivia De Havilland really still living on Sunset Blvd? One of the greatest movies ever. That and “Body Heat” are my two favorite films I think… Well maybe “The Lion in Winter” might bump one of them… or “The Big Chill”. That last sings to my generation, but I suspect it may not work for younger people.

Comment from platypuss
Time: August 25, 2012, 2:10 pm

Let’s try Noriega again.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 25, 2012, 3:27 pm

Sorry about that, Pat. I found your entry in the spam bucket (lord knows why) and kicked it loose, but since things have moved on from there, I deleted it again.

Speaking of the spam bucket, there’s something a bit creepy about this one:

I together with my friends came looking at the excellent tactics found on your website and so all of the sudden got an awful suspicion I had not thanked the site owner for those strategies. Most of the young boys had been totally happy to learn them and have sincerely been enjoying those things. Appreciation for actually being really thoughtful and then for choosing varieties of exceptional subject matter most people are really desperate to be informed on. My very own sincere regret for not expressing appreciation to you earlier.

Comment from BJM
Time: August 25, 2012, 3:28 pm

I am so late to the party, but I’ll stick with HRH Prince Philip.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 25, 2012, 5:06 pm

So L’il Miss Stoaty, what tactics HAVE you been teaching the young boys??
Just so happens I got an anonymous phone call from Nevada mentioning something about possible felonious behavior…

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: August 25, 2012, 5:56 pm

Ramsey Clark, POS commie bastard is drawing air a better person could use. Stop respirating you dissicated old rat.

Comment from Clifford Skridlow
Time: August 25, 2012, 7:14 pm

Rumor has it Neil Armstrong went this afternoon.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 25, 2012, 7:27 pm

Just showed up in my Twitter feed.

RIP (and -=whew=- nobody had him).

I’m sure there’s a “one small step” joke in there somewhere.

Comment from Elphaba
Time: August 25, 2012, 7:35 pm

Jon Corzine by way of concrete boots and a body of water (okay, so any method with do). I imagine some of his (formerly) wealthy MF Global clients would like to see him sleep with the fishes.

Comment from Redd
Time: August 25, 2012, 7:44 pm

I imagine some of his (formerly) wealthy MF Global clients would like to see him sleep with the fishes.

So would his first wife…

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: August 25, 2012, 7:53 pm


Neil Armstrong has left the building. Sad day.


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 25, 2012, 8:29 pm

One last step for a great man.

Comment from RealMc
Time: August 25, 2012, 9:39 pm

Neil Armstrong at my house…….

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: August 25, 2012, 10:31 pm

Such a loss, that man was a great hero and I can’t help feel that the manned space program died with him.

Comment from Mike James
Time: August 25, 2012, 10:50 pm

Neil Armstrong is go for throttle-up. Godspeed.

Comment from Cobrakai99
Time: August 25, 2012, 11:09 pm

Sean Penn on his knees next to uncle Hugo.

Comment from RealMc
Time: August 25, 2012, 11:14 pm

I didn’t realize my post came out that way:
Comment from RealMc
Time: August 25, 2012, 9:39 pm

Neil Armstrong (I had added in) “Flag Half Staff” at my house…

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 26, 2012, 4:10 am

I have some intel that Americans are going to snuff it in Afghanistan.
Can I enter in US Army personnel?

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: August 26, 2012, 6:11 am

Someone stole Olivia from me again! I’ll have to pick Joan Fontaine, I suppose…

But it’s just not the same.

Comment from Mike James
Time: August 26, 2012, 8:59 pm

Can I enter in a miserable little pimple that comments here? Not technically a celebrity, but there is satisfaction to be had if I win the dick.

Comment from Cindermutha
Time: August 26, 2012, 9:13 pm

Bill Clinton

Comment from Redd
Time: August 26, 2012, 9:22 pm

Stoaty’s a rockstar! http://goo.gl/1eNuj

Comment from Roamingfirehydrant
Time: August 26, 2012, 10:09 pm

Dr. Joyce Brothers

Comment from Grewilli
Time: August 26, 2012, 10:28 pm

Hugh Downs – come on, Phyllis Diller’s Obit mentioned they went to college together. The man probably lost his virginity in Pompeii right before the eruption.

Comment from unkawill
Time: August 26, 2012, 10:54 pm

Al Gore in the Massage Parlor with a Poodle.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 26, 2012, 11:06 pm

Ha! A one-second clip in a music video – I’m not exactly ordering the hookers and blow yet, Redd. Made my day, though.

Comment from qwerty
Time: August 26, 2012, 11:48 pm

Betty White

Comment from Boone
Time: August 26, 2012, 11:48 pm

Lindsay Lohan. As many mistakes as she makes, one of them will undo her.

Comment from Sockless Joe
Time: August 27, 2012, 1:20 am

A little out of character for me as I tend to go for the old farts, but I’m going with Amanda Bynes the round. Chick seems to be in a car accident about every other month.

Comment from mbtokyo
Time: August 27, 2012, 1:24 am

Don Rickles

Comment from Pavel
Time: August 27, 2012, 1:33 am

Robert Wagner, because Mrs. Pavel can’t think of anyone else, and I, as usual, have no clue.

Comment from Tibby
Time: August 27, 2012, 1:34 am

June Lockhart. For no particular reason.

Comment from Tibby
Time: August 27, 2012, 1:38 am

Oooh, wish I’d picked Babwa Waawaas…she’s up for grabs

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: August 27, 2012, 3:46 am

Comment from Mike James
Time: August 26, 2012, 8:59 pm

If we can confirm that the particular pimple pops before the end of this pool, I’ll send you a spotted dick.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from currently
Time: August 27, 2012, 7:38 am

Neil Young

Not sure if this pick is legal since NBC already
declared he had died.

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: August 27, 2012, 12:32 pm

Last in again. Ronnie Biggs! Come on you bugger!

Comment from mandel bread
Time: August 27, 2012, 12:43 pm

Al Molinaro

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 27, 2012, 1:34 pm

Good to see Ace pushing your artwork in that vid. Any publicity is marketing goodness.
Surpisingly good music as a added bonus.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: August 27, 2012, 4:00 pm

Currently, you silly rabbit. You must pay more attention to the news. It wasn’t Neil Young that died.

It was Brigham Young. They even did an hour long special about it.

Comment from mesablue
Time: August 27, 2012, 7:00 pm

Roman Polanski.

Comment from rickl
Time: August 28, 2012, 12:25 am

Does anybody have Arlen Specter yet?

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: August 28, 2012, 2:41 am

Ellen Barkin

Someone that wound up is surely going to bust a gasket soon.

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: August 28, 2012, 3:59 am

YAY!!! Even though I’m LATE – I get ERIC HOLDER – in the conservatory with a 50 cal.

Comment from Mr. Compton
Time: August 28, 2012, 3:31 pm

I’m way late, but my preferred pick is probably still around. No I’m not going to bother looking.

David Cassidy

Comment from steve
Time: August 28, 2012, 7:51 pm

Arlen Specter

Comment from Manolo
Time: August 29, 2012, 2:45 am

Jerry Lewis. The guy’s been walking dead for years now.

Comment from Manolo
Time: August 29, 2012, 2:50 am

Zsa Zsa Gabor. She got to be pushing the top side o’ 90, dig?

Comment from Manolo
Time: August 29, 2012, 2:53 am

Mary Tyler Moore. She has simply lived long enough.

Comment from Basilisk
Time: August 30, 2012, 1:38 am

Van Cliburn

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 31, 2012, 1:53 pm

May be a very timely pick, Basilisk!

Comment from Chieftain
Time: September 1, 2012, 2:06 am

Dolores Hope

Kirk Douglas

Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

Al Molinaro

Comment from smedleythebarbarian
Time: September 1, 2012, 11:00 pm

Richard Bach, who wrote the 1970s novella Jonathan Livingston Seagull, has been seriously injured in a plane crash

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: September 2, 2012, 7:16 pm


Does that mean AltBBrown takes it with the chief Moonie?

Comment from Pablo
Time: September 2, 2012, 7:24 pm

Wow. Nailed it with the first pick. Good on ya, AltBBrown.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 2, 2012, 7:38 pm

Yup. AltBBrown wins it. Damn, I need more dick!

Comment from Mike James
Time: September 6, 2012, 6:47 pm

Rustbucket, above, said:

“Uncle Joe Biden…during his “visit” to the RNC in Tampa…by a faux-tea-partier (read:Obama operative)…how’s that for a conspiracy theory?”

Rustbucket got him first, so I think that it’s against the rules to call Biden, onstage during his speech in Charlotte, nevermind that it makes me feel creepy to say so.

It’s just that I’ve been contemplating just how much more of a Chinese clusterfuck the Donks’ convention can become, and I think that this would make a huge one. Sherriff Joe’s primary value to the Dims at this point is as a martyr.

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