sweasel.com

As even the most casual reader will have discerned, it is all joy and happiness in the mustelid household at present.

Of course we have to come here, Your Stoatiness. Where else are we going to get a sanity bolstering dose of wit, sarcasm, and just plain WTF? 😉

Oh, and chickens. Can’t forget the chickens.

So have any of you voted to split from your ‘union’ yet?

Tried that before. It got messy.

This post reminds me of something a blues musician once told me: “We don’t play the blues to make you feel better or to make us feel better. We play the blues to drag you down so you feel as crappy as we do.” Having known a few blues musicians, I rather suspect this is true. No worries for you, though: I already feel that way, too. So no harm done.

My mother told me she read some actor say he could make himself cry on stage by thinking to himself, “…and the little dog died…”

She told me this when I was small enough that it stuck pretty good. I never cry, I don’t even like dogs, but “…and the little dog died…” makes me puddle up.

“Only, his family doesn’t have the money to pay for the treatment, so they’ll have to choose between paying the vet and heating the house this Christmas.”

Alternate solution: Sell the kitten to a drug testing lab, and crank up the thermostat a few degrees. Win win!

What? What?

Or you could skip the middle man and burn kittens.

Kittens make fabulous ear muffs.

Live kittens don’t. They’re chock full of needle-sharp pointy things.

We are all Obamacats now.

Perhaps he was a rotter of a kitten, and Santa will bring enough coal to keep them warm. Won’t Obamacare take care of the bill?

Grizzly, a person (a Federal Judge, of all people) once told me “Rock and roll is all about chasing a woman. The blues is about after you get her.”

Why don’t they just knock over a gas station?

I hope that all you Yankees are having Kittens over this?

http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/election-fraud-obama-won-more-than-99-percent-of-the-vote-in-more-than-100-ohio-precincts

On the other hand, Schrödinger Mister Bubbles could live a nice long life without intervention.

Sort of makes Democracy in Russia look like the model to follow – no?

Honestly, Oceania, for your sake I hope you troll some more excitable blogs. You almost never manage to get a rise out of this one.

I don’t have to. My readers don’t post here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhQ31b_dbnM&feature=player_embedded

Then why, Oceania, do you bother coming here? Why not save your pearls for your readers?

Please don’t bother responding. I actually don’t like the idea of you lurking.

Re: The Blues. I have the complete “works” of Chopin, and let me tell you, after about 20 minutes of Chopin, I am ready to slit my wrists. I’d rather listen to Robert Cray or B.B King any day. (My true love is Gene Harris. Even his blues will make you delirious with joy.)

My last cat loved Stevie Ray Vaughn. Well why wouldn’t he—MacDhui was the coolest cat in the world (we mourned together). As for SRV …

Dogs like rock-n-roll, but cats dig the blues.

So whose Kitty has a myocardial infarc?

They could afford to treat the heart condition if they hadn’t gone and ripped out the little ratter’s eyes and put in glass ones.

Those are some creepy devil doll orbs.

Sure, its all cute and fuzzy now. But that thing is a killer. Make some stir fry, save the vet bills and the inevitable bloodbath in the future. Win, win win scenario.

That’s an interesting remark, Oceania. Are you performing for the search engines, then?

My inner demons took a vote, it was unanimous. We will be back everyday.

B.B. King captured the essence of life in this little lyric:
Nobody loves me but my mother, and she may be lyin’ too

However my favorite sufferin’ album these days is Gregg Allman’s ‘Searching for Simplicity’. He does an acoustic version of ‘Tied To The Whipping Post’ that would make you cry if you weren’t already crying from just living.

As for Oceania, I rather like having him here. He is that ingredient that really shouldn’t be here, that you don’t even like to think about, that makes the othe flavors stand out. Think of anchovies in Marinara sauce or the worm in tequilla. Without him, this blog would just be too sugary sweet. I mean Weasel posts pictures of kittens with moppet eyes for Christ’s sake.

The kitten looks a lot like the last one I adopted, a tabby Siberian I dubbed Tatiana Romanova. (For the James Bond heroine, natch.) She too, it developed, had a heart condition, and lived to be only three and a half. But she crammed every moment of that time with play and joy, so it was as if she lived twice as long.

(Damn. Now I’m all depressed.)

Sometimes I feel like my kitten has been tied to the whipping post, tied to the whipping post

Ah, there you go. The luck, it never fails me. Make some stupid remark about “serious as a heart attack” only to find the person I’m talking to lost his father to a heart attack. Yesterday.

Stoaty,

I didn’t mean your picture did the depressing! Miss Tati passed away more than two years ago, and I have two other joyful feline thugs to deal with. Remembering her gets me a little misty-eyed. Your pic didn’t!

Yeah, that’s right — if I’m going to feel like this, you are, too.

At least you don’t have to see all the Forward and Obama/Biden signs and bumper stickers plastered all over creation. Me, driving anywhere:
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/27968742.jpg

Hey, I bet you could get two or three tacos and a fur hat outta that critter…

I had a colonoscopy yesterday. They found a polyp, so I get to have one every five years instead of ten. Nasty!

Why do gays like that? Crimony!

Pupster: …all the Forward and Obama/Biden signs and bumper stickers plastered all over creation…

Where is that? I’m in Chicago, and I saw only a handful.

Steve Skubinna: “Rock and roll is all about chasing a woman. The blues is about after you get her.”

And country covers both ends.

Stoaty, I’ve been trying to find some silver lining for the last week. The closest I can get is Nixon winning in 72 only to resign in disgrace by 74. Please, oh please…I can has a ObamaNixon photoshop? I don’t axe for much, and it would truly embiggen my cold, shriveled heart.

Heh. Been done, Grom. Enjoy.

I think it was the enemies list that put people off.

Yeah, but those all lack that…Stoatyness…that we come here for! Well, if you get bored…

Where is that?

Central Oiho, Rich. Funny, now that you mention it, I think I’ve seen more signs and stickers since the election. Maybe I’m just more sensitized.

Search what?
I regrow tissues from time to time. Depends what you want to fix.

http://www2.b3ta.com/nazigame/

My neighbors had a huge tomcat named Mr. Whiskers, who started out small and orange like the cat in the illustration.

One day I was replacing a siren that had just come back after warantee work. Being as I live in WI, I had taken the opprtunity to also demount the speaker from the deer smucker, so I could clean the contacts, road salt doing nothing to help them. So I had installed the siren, and hooked up the speaker wires, and went around to the front to hook the speaker wires to the speaker. Mr. Wiskers had been supervising the whole operation, so he came and sat on the big cross bar of the deer smucker. I hooked the ground to it’s post, and picked up the power wire, and said to my assistant, “Well, Whiskers, one more connection, and this is done, and I’m gonna go get a root beer for me, and a chocolate donut that I will share with you”. As I pushed the spade terminal down on the post, Mr. Whiskers and I discovered the princilpe that one should always be sure that the Federal Signal repair crew turned the thing off before shipping it back to you. I am not sure which one of us jumped higher, but I know it took several lives off of both of us. A 200 watt siren set for YELP at a foot distance gets one’s attention like few things can.

The big problem with Obama Nixon is that we would then get Lyndon Baines Biden. It’s hard to imagine how he could possibly do worse, but if anybody can it’s him.

Scott,

Deer Smucker? Is that for making venison jam? Heh.

The one on my squad is a Rhino brand, rated for doing the PIT maneuver, and yes, it does do a good job of tenderizing deer that dart in front of the truck. For non upper midwesterners, most Sheriff’s in Wisconsin squads have very heavy duty brush guards on the front, because we have such a huge number of white tail deer that like to run in front of vehicles.

Thought I was hallucinating until Pupster corroborated my suspicions. There ARE more posters/stickers/paraphernalia appearing all about Columbus. I suspect it is the gloat-factor coming into play.

Vainglorious bastard in my building this morning. Wearing brandy-new Obama hat and scarf(!), uncharacteristically greeting EVERYONE in the atrium, and loudly. See him nearly every day, never once saw him wearing this ‘smuggO-fication’ ensemble. To invoke S.K.: “I hope you slide under a gas truck and taste your own blood…”