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Toys have changed a lot since my day

Okay, boys ‘n’ girls…are you ready for something more than a little scary to head into the weekend? Click here to see this action figure in full.

Aiiiiii!

Welcome to the world of collectible high-detail Japanese bishoujo figure sculptures. Hand painted and not cheap. This one will set you back ¥9,333, or about $110. Have a look around; they have a lot on offer.

Ha! Ha! I’m pretty sure just clicking that link put you on Interpol’s special perv list. Bishoujo is Japanese for jail bait.

Though this girl has clearly hit puberty. Or been hit by it. Really hard. Oh, did I mention the costume comes off?

Have a good weekend, my special pervs!

Comments


Comment from Spad 13
Time: November 23, 2012, 11:27 pm

I was expecting tentacles. But I guess those ears are weird enough.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 23, 2012, 11:31 pm

It’s the tiny head perched atop Mount Glands that got me.


Comment from AliceH
Time: November 23, 2012, 11:41 pm

I can’t look at Anime characters anymore without seeing Michael Jackson’s final plastic surgery-ed face. I’m just going to pass on clicking that thar link, also.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 23, 2012, 11:46 pm

Well, the first link is local to the blog, so you won’t leave a trail, anyhow.


Comment from Redd
Time: November 24, 2012, 12:10 am

OMG

So do boys/men buy these to jerk off with? Who would want this?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 24, 2012, 12:17 am

There are quite serious collectors. Adults, I assume. If you hit the second link, it’s a figure review site. Follow the links from there and…well, and you can learn probably more than you wanted to know.

Joking aside, I doubt you’ll get on a list for your trouble. As pervs on the internet go, these little figures are Ivory-soap mild.


Comment from xul
Time: November 24, 2012, 2:02 am

A massive-mammaried microcephalic. With elf ears.

Ew.


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: November 24, 2012, 2:06 am

Well, OK, and I’m not either condemning or endorsing either–but how different is this particular doll from Barbie? Apart from the fact that it seems this one may not be given to little girls to play with as a role model?


Comment from Mike James
Time: November 24, 2012, 2:08 am

She wasn’t lying about Hell-Barbie’s costume, I clicked on the link. Now I’ve done it.

Jeez, Swease, you and Steven DenYou-Know-Who.


Comment from Lark
Time: November 24, 2012, 3:07 am

Well. I hadn’t thought puberty had given me a miss, but I’m not seeing any flappy ears. (Good thing, too; it’s -20 this week.)


Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: November 24, 2012, 3:52 am

Huh. So she’s referred to as a “seasoned warrior,” but all I want to know is how the hell is she supposed to accomplish anything with that butt floss, much less swing a sword without her boobs severely limiting her slashing technique.

Yes. I am way over-thinking this.


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 24, 2012, 4:09 am

Does it tick? Got a Geiger counter?


Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: November 24, 2012, 4:22 am

A tiny head atop Mount Glands? Well, duh: who needs a brain when you have tatas like those?


Comment from Anony Mouse
Time: November 24, 2012, 4:59 am

“how different is this particular doll from Barbie”

Well… while Barbie’s measurements are insane, her boobs aren’t bigger than her head. Also, I’m guessing that this is a figure that gets put on a shelf, whereas a Barbie is more fully articulated.

In other words, playing with a Barbie isn’t nearly as disturbing as playing with balloon-tits here.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: November 24, 2012, 5:05 am

Looks like another Dick is about to hit the slow boat. Nanny 1 takes it with Larry Hagman.

http://www.tmz.com/2012/11/23/dallas-star-larry-hagman-dead-81/


Comment from Mike C.
Time: November 24, 2012, 9:34 am

Perverts obviously feel a need to collect “limited edition collectors’s” crap just as much as the next person. It’s easier to understand the perversion than it is to understand the desire to spend one’s money on/fill one’s abode with overpriced, schlocky crap.

BTW, aside from less boobage, she’s gonna need a lot more arm muscle to do anything useful with that broadsword for more than about 30 seconds. Ever heft one of those babies? They weigh a ton.


Comment from Redd
Time: November 24, 2012, 5:30 pm

Here’s something to clean off the perviness: http://www.wissensdrang.com/dstabb.htm

It’s an old catalogue of very old churches in Devon. It’s almost a 100 years old so the photos are in B&W and small but still it’s fascinating. I’m sure since the book was written much has changed. Too bad. I had to laugh how they had to bury some of the fonts so the puritans wouldn’t destroy the Norman carvings on them.


Comment from beasn
Time: November 24, 2012, 6:45 pm

It’s the tiny head perched atop Mount Glands that got me.

Yeah, that.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 24, 2012, 7:51 pm

That’s lovely stuff, Redd.

Our local church, the faces were knocked off all the stone angels.

Most of those churches — probably all — have survived intact the last 100 years. Villages here go to great lengths to raise money to keep the fabric of their local churches in good repair. They’re very proud of them.

Sometimes, though, the area surrounding has grown modern and horrible. There’s a lovely old Norman church outside a biggish city nearby; I always feel sorry for it, surrounded by so much ugly.

Oh, and in another local town there’s a big Victorian pile of a church that’s all boarded up and overgrown. Very Adams Family. I think if I heard organ music came out of it some dark night, I’d piss myself.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: November 24, 2012, 10:30 pm

I think if I heard organ music came out of it some dark night, I’d piss myself.

Thousands of Japanese dudes just signed up for organ music lessons & bought plane tickets.


Comment from Mitchell
Time: November 24, 2012, 10:37 pm

“Thousands of Japanese dudes just signed up for organ music lessons & bought plane tickets.”

HAH!!!!


Comment from Nina
Time: November 24, 2012, 11:50 pm

I find this rather repulsive, actually, but to each his own. I doubt that I am their target market.

The churches, though…I saw a lot of glorious churches when I was across the pond in July, and would have seen more if I hadn’t had to go home!


Comment from JeffS
Time: November 25, 2012, 3:44 am

…how the hell is she supposed to accomplish anything with that butt floss, much less swing a sword without her boobs severely limiting her slashing technique.

That sword? That’s just a conversation starter, Feynmangroupie. This is her not-so-slashing technique.


Comment from mojo
Time: November 25, 2012, 4:30 am

Needs T-shirt.

“If Only These Were Brains”


Comment from Nate
Time: November 25, 2012, 11:29 pm

I must be getting old, but my first thought was, ‘Ya know, in a real sword-fight, she’s got, like, zero body protection.’


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 26, 2012, 3:35 am

How close to Windscale is Sweasel?


Comment from Elphaba
Time: November 26, 2012, 3:40 am

Big boobs, tiny, tiny brain. Says a lot about the people that purchase these…things.


Comment from Steve Skubinna
Time: November 26, 2012, 4:07 pm

You guys ought to see the stores where they sell these things. Spend any time in Japan and you’ll run across one.

This is fairly typical.

And it says something – don’t know what – about the Japanese psyche. But remember, these are the people who gave us Hello Kitty and the Bataan Death March. Don’t fool yourself into thinking everybody around the world is the same as we are under the skin. The Japanese are very different from us – and I like them. I just don’t make the mistake that they’re just like everybody in my neighborhood at home.

On the other hand, if there is a universal constant, it must be Shakespeare. Just like the Klingons in Star Trek VI, the Japanese are convinced that the Bard of Avon was one of them – how else could he so perfectly capture their collective id?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2012, 4:43 pm

I’ve always said that Star Trek never featured an alien that was as different from an American as a typical Chinese person is.

The syntax of that sentence is not very good, but I trust you get the point.


Comment from JeffS
Time: November 26, 2012, 5:38 pm

That would sound better in the original Klingon, Lady Stoat.

:)


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2012, 6:31 pm

Some days I’m just too butt lazy to make sense.


Comment from mojo
Time: November 26, 2012, 6:58 pm

Star Trek aliens: all humanoid, with a few rare exceptions. Mostly because of expense.

Would’ve liked to see a motorized wheeled box of high-pressure, low temp hydrogen for some gas giant-homed aliens, but oh well…

“Look out! Here comes the Wheeler again!”


Comment from Redd
Time: November 26, 2012, 7:11 pm

I just noticed that she has only one ear.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2012, 7:23 pm

Good lord — you’re right!


Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: November 26, 2012, 8:20 pm

Clinically speaking, she’s a bit too well developed for jailbait don’t you think?

Speaking of toys, I noticed the the humble stick is in the toy hall of fame:
http://www.toyhalloffame.org/toys/stick


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2012, 8:33 pm

You’re going to put your eye out with that, Bob.


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 26, 2012, 10:26 pm

Jailbait? The UK establishment like them young!


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: November 27, 2012, 6:57 am

Here’s my comment: the sword is non-functional. Look at the grip. It’s too narrow, and there is no pommel. There’s a ball perched on the end of the grip, but it serves no purpose. On a real broadsword, the end of the grip flares out to keep the sword from sliding out of the hand.

(After checking some images of real swords, maybe the grip is large enough, though borderline for a broadsword that heavy – but the pommel is definitely bogus.)


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: November 27, 2012, 2:27 pm

Well, I like her. Sorta.

“COSTUME . . . OFF!!!”

Oh, and she does have a right ear. Look at the pics on the blog showing her right side. The hair covers most of it, but there is a second ear.


Comment from Redd
Time: November 27, 2012, 3:31 pm

Is it floppy? Because that right ear is so big, I can’t imagine a left one not sticking out of the hair.


Comment from nightfly
Time: November 27, 2012, 7:10 pm

I can’t remember where I first saw it, but there’s a demotivator poster floating around somewhere with a caption like, “Japan: Proudly supplying the world with batshit craziness since 1952.”

It’s really true. I’m something of a anime fan myself, though not a “real” anime fan since I actually watch the stuff dubbed into English. At their best some of these shows address philosophical and existential questions with an intelligence that would make an average TV viewer bleed from the ears.

At their worst, they make me wish Godzilla would stomp around some more.

If you’ve ever seen references to “fan service,” that’s kind of the PG-13 equivalent… gratuitous upskirt/panty shots, stuff like that.


Comment from Anonymous
Time: November 28, 2012, 6:57 pm

“Star Trek aliens: all humanoid, with a few rare exceptions. Mostly because of expense.”

No, it was so Captain Kirk could make love to them.

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