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Pretty princess pukes plenty

You’ve probably heard Princess Kate has a royal bun in the oven. We’ve heard little else. Man, I thought news from America was annoying lately. Yesterday, we had reporters giving hourly updates — not kidding — standing outside the hospital where she’s been taken for “extreme morning sickness.”

Which means Her Royal Highness is puking her guts out, I guess. I wonder if the toilet has a coat of arms. I wonder if princesses puke rainbows. I wonder if she has a Lady in charge of Holding the Royal Hair Back.

I’ll probably get deported for this.

Comments


Comment from Justin Credible
Time: December 4, 2012, 11:36 pm

Have they referred to her little bun as a baby, or is it not yet human?


Comment from Redd
Time: December 5, 2012, 12:10 am

It’s a fairly serious condition. I wonder if there will now be copycats?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 5, 2012, 12:27 am

It’s a funny thing, Justin. Because abortion is not a political football over here, doctors hate doing them and many refuse. See, it’s not seen as a courageous political act to abort a baby, just a real anti-Hippocratic downer.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 5, 2012, 12:43 am

I’m not saying Americans shouldn’t make an issue of it, I’m just making an observation. Abortions are downers. Real doctors hate doing them.


Comment from Redd
Time: December 5, 2012, 12:51 am

I watched Inside the Claridge. The Mechors are a hoot. I had to look them up. Apparently, he was one of the founders of HP. They’ve been staying at the Claridge when they visit for 40 years. The staff sure liked her because everyone was kissing her which seems so un-British to me.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: December 5, 2012, 1:03 am

Look, if the tin-foil hatters are right she’s incubating a lizard space-alien. Of course she’s got bloody morning sickness!


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: December 5, 2012, 1:12 am

…just like in ‘V’…


Comment from gettimothy
Time: December 5, 2012, 1:50 am

Do you have travelogues for the place you will be deported too?

How is the food?

Do they serve Spotted Dick?

What about second breakfast and elevensies?

Are speedos optional?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 5, 2012, 1:52 am

Chile sounds pretty good right now.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: December 5, 2012, 2:07 am

I wonder if she has seen the Cesarian surgery scene from PROMETHEUS… ;-)


Comment from beasn
Time: December 5, 2012, 3:31 am

I’m surprised she was able to get pregnant, she is so danged skinny. Girl needs a cheeseburger or three.


Comment from steve
Time: December 5, 2012, 4:09 am

She could opt to use the tried and true remedy.

http://www.yourtango.com/2012156896/oral-sex-morning-sickness


Comment from Anony Mouse
Time: December 5, 2012, 4:16 am

Local news where I’m at in the States is giving regular updates too. And speculating that this kind of severe sickness usually means twins…


Comment from mojo
Time: December 5, 2012, 4:43 am

Hope it’s a boy.

And I’m not surprised at the speed. Besides being a very attractive woman, it’s her job to produce an heir. And a spare.

Increases the likelihood of HM cutting Crazy Charlie out of the succession, in my opinion.


Comment from steve
Time: December 5, 2012, 4:45 am

I am having a little bit of trouble picturing that dainty young thing, hugging the commode, doing the big spit.


Comment from Sporadic Small Arms Fire
Time: December 5, 2012, 5:37 am

Chile (Xth Region) around Puerto Varas, Pucon was my almost certain destination before I settled where I be now.
Much to my utmost surprise, trout fishing is way better and I did not stash any of my 2nd Amdmt hardware in a cave.
Happy Deportation Rites Miss Stoat. Pox upon the Hanoverians and their backward inbred minions.
Hold the tail High. Bite ferociously. Flee at any opportunity. Lob the scat granules at constabulary at any slight provocation. Ululate and hiss profusely.
Sell the hide dearly. They’ll find you buried ankle deep in torn claws and I for one will rise a goblet full of Pappy Van Winkle to such a gallant mustelid.


Comment from Oceania
Time: December 5, 2012, 7:22 am

They traditionally deport people to Australia Sweasel – looks like you are in luck!

:)


Comment from Justin Credible
Time: December 5, 2012, 3:39 pm

Thanks for that, S.Weasel. Like a breath of fresh air to learn that. Truly.


Comment from orabidoo
Time: December 5, 2012, 4:35 pm

I have had a prophetic dream last night.
It has been revealed unto me that due to extraordinary strength and potency of HRH Harry’s swimmers, the blessed buns in the Royal Oven are in fact identical female triplets.
From the succession standpoint, I am sure the grateful Britishers will welcome the joyous fecundity of their noble genetic superiors.

At least one of them will be “batting for the other team” so to speak ;) ;) :)


Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: December 5, 2012, 5:52 pm

Amen on abortion. I wish all Republicans could learn to keep silent let the democrats talk all about it.

Nasty business, and I’ll make it none of mine.

I hope the Royal family have candied ginger on hand.


Comment from thefritz
Time: December 5, 2012, 7:03 pm

Your illustration reminds me of that eighth dwarf…barfy.


Comment from thefritz
Time: December 5, 2012, 7:07 pm

Mojo, quick copyright that phrase; “an heir and a spare”
perfect if she has twins!


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: December 5, 2012, 8:52 pm

I have had a prophetic dream last night.
It has been revealed unto me that due to extraordinary strength and potency of HRH Harry’s swimmers, the blessed buns in the Royal Oven are in fact identical female triplets.
From the succession standpoint, I am sure the grateful Britishers will welcome the joyous fecundity of their noble genetic superiors.

At least one of them will be “batting for the other team” so to speak

Are you saying Harry knocked his brother’s wife up? I fucking knew it. I knew that balding eunuch didn’t have the minerals to get someone pregnant.

I wonder whose decision it was to let everybody know that Kate is puking left, right and centre. I mean that’s probably the sort of thing you can keep fairly well hidden if you’re a member of the royal family and you want it to be secret.

But no – it was like, ‘Hey everybody – the princess is pregnant! And you should see all the shit she’s sicking up!’

I’d have that publicist fired if I were them.

Either way, I still can’t bring myself to give a shit.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: December 5, 2012, 9:09 pm

Comment from steve
Time: December 5, 2012, 4:45 am

I am having a little bit of trouble picturing that dainty young thing, hugging the commode, doing the big spit.

I’m suuuuure no alumnus of St And has ever talked on the big white telephone.


Comment from Sporadic Small Arms Fire
Time: December 5, 2012, 9:27 pm

The Harry’s Game prophecy may stem from knowing a few AH-64 Apache riders back in the day and to a one, they were all compulsive horndogs, my theory being that the rotor vibrations caused chronic overactivity in the glandular tissuess. Either that, or entrusting their lives to such a risky contraption made them want to pop before they drop and sizzle.

Normally, the upperclass Britisher twits prefer to inject the DNA evidence into various moist orifices only few of which ever were a conduit for a human ovum. The balding sweaty pasty eunuch seems more at ease conversing with geraniums at Balmoral or saving the minor stickleback from invisible atmospheric gas (2/10,000ths ppv) or summat.

The Royal Publicist Peddler ought to be given a substantial raise and a crate of mint liqueur per week. The leaked meconium images cannot be far behind. The grateful subjects gobble it up and cannot seem to ever get enough.
Could not happen to a better bunch of monarchists.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: December 6, 2012, 12:07 am

Funnily enough, the Badger is a pretty staunch republican.

But even he has the common decency to wish a young couple expecting their first child nothing but happiness.


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: December 6, 2012, 1:56 am

Morning sickness is a good sign, AIUI. It indicates the body is rejecting anything that might interfere with the baby’s development. Mothers who have morning sickness have proportionately fewer children with defects.


Comment from Stockholm Syndrome
Time: December 6, 2012, 3:58 am

I have nothing against common decency, aside from the fact that it is not really common at all.
And if you take peel away the common, what do you got? One of the two pillars just folded.


Comment from Ken
Time: December 6, 2012, 2:39 pm

I would snark something about “holding back the Royal Hair,” but I dare say that would be a piece of arrant pedantry, up with which one should not put.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 6, 2012, 4:09 pm

Oh, you didn’t know HRH had a hairy back, Ken? It’s her winter pelt.


Comment from Maurice FitzGibbons St. John Eclair O’Grady
Time: December 6, 2012, 4:12 pm

If the gods can bleed when fastened to the upright timber with some simple carpentry tackle, I find it entirely plausible that some gilded princeling can yawn in Technicolor. It would be a wonder if they did not, would it not, now.
The English butler who buries among the roses what flew through the window after being deposited in the chamber pot in the morning must have no trouble whatever telling the olfactory difference of the princely sediment and that of the lesser baronet or viscount 2nd class.
The Dookie of Duke.
The Pookey of Katey.


Comment from Oceania
Time: December 7, 2012, 12:23 pm

Hmmm Katie has some Orange Headed Reefer inseminations in her?


Comment from neth the lawyer
Time: December 7, 2012, 2:44 pm

I was hear this story to my grandfather will he read a story for me. Imagine the most fun that you ever the pretty princess this is a nice story fora kids. They learn a lot for that story .


Comment from Bapoo the Programmer
Time: December 7, 2012, 8:20 pm

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