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I’m pretty sure Hillary wears flats

New Secretary of State John Kerry reported for duty Monday, acknowledging that as Hillary Rodham Clinton’s successor he has “big heels to fill“…

Could somebody just…I dunno…come up behind me and smack me upside the head with a shovel until the ouch goes away? Thenk yew.


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: February 4, 2013, 11:34 pm

Send a wire to the main office and tell them I said… OW!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 4, 2013, 11:43 pm

I really wish these dang public figures wouldn’t put bad pictures in my head like that.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: February 5, 2013, 12:17 am

Now THERE is a mental image I could have done without. Herman Munster – Drag queen….. LOL

Comment from dissent555
Time: February 5, 2013, 12:50 am

“Could somebody just…I dunno…come up behind me and smack me upside the head with a shovel until the ouch goes away? Thenk yew.”

Would this count as a shovel-ready job?

Awesome p-shop, btw.

Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: February 5, 2013, 1:38 am

Kerry’s droning, monotone, baritone voice going on and on ( and on.. and on…and on.. and on..) with some leftist blather doesn’t bring to my minds eye any thing like net stockings.

Comment from Nina
Time: February 5, 2013, 2:00 am

Gah, Stoaty, warn a girl whydoncha?

My brain hurts now, and my retinae are scarred for life.

Comment from Deborah
Time: February 5, 2013, 2:07 am

And he speaks French 🙂

Comment from mojo
Time: February 5, 2013, 2:19 am

Geeze, don’t do that!


Now I have a picture of the old gigolo dancing in a chorus line…

Comment from mojo
Time: February 5, 2013, 2:20 am

… turn, turn, kick, turn…

Comment from As If I Cared
Time: February 5, 2013, 4:31 am

I see “Cabaret” is on tonight. Time to get my Liza Minelli freak on! -JK #JKTweets

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: February 5, 2013, 4:38 am

I would like to say that I believe John Kerry is every bit as qualified as Hillary Clinton to be Secretary of State. Every bit.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: February 5, 2013, 4:40 am

To Wong Foo John Kerry
Thanks for everything,
Julie Newmar

The Sequel!

Comment from Mono The Elderish
Time: February 5, 2013, 6:37 am

Bring on the nightmares.

Comment from Bill H
Time: February 5, 2013, 6:43 am

Stoaty, you need a version of that with him saluting ever so fabulously.

“John F’n Kerry, reporting for dooody, your Highness!”

The only reason he has big heels to fill is the leather has stretched from her cankles.

Comment from appmus
Time: February 5, 2013, 11:44 am

How does one unsee something that has been seen. I am scared for life.

Comment from MikeW
Time: February 5, 2013, 2:22 pm

Hmm, perhaps a whip in The John’s hand would properly complete his ensemble. Ya think? Of course, he should absolutely have a slew of military ribbons & medals on his chest. We know they’re just stage props to him, devoid of any actual meaning.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Maybe it should be “Mother” Teresa Heinz standing behind him with the whip? In full leather!

Comment from Redd
Time: February 5, 2013, 4:07 pm

So, what’s up with this gay marriage vote? They say the vote is today but no one is reporting on the actual results.

Comment from drew458
Time: February 5, 2013, 5:50 pm

He served in Vietnam, you know.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 5, 2013, 6:22 pm

Hasn’t happened yet, Redd. They’re still debating.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: February 5, 2013, 6:37 pm

‘Kay – does the P’shop answer The Question Of The Day; i.e. (of course): “Boxers or briefs?”…


Does anyone, y’know…actually care?

He served in Vietnam, you know.

So certain rumors have it – but, what did he serve, and how was it prepared?

Think about it –

And he speaks French

So do a few million Frenchmen plus a few million semi-successful male Berlitz students, but they don’t noticeably look better in heels than he does, nor does it, like him, qualify them for U.S. Gubmint “service” either.

Let’s face it, ol’ Johnny Ketchup reached the epitome of His Finest Hour as Lurch in that TeeVee series – his guttural growl was never better, before or since, nor any closer to actual human speech, than in that role.

Too bad they didn’t manage to cancel him along with the series…

Comment from BJM
Time: February 5, 2013, 7:29 pm

The only reason Hillary loomed large is that she could summon the poodle dog media and put some stick about.

Hillary’s notoriety elevated SecState far above the WH’s comfort zone and intent when the deal was made. As long as the DNC/WH held the 2008 campaign debt over the Clinton’s head that they played nicely. The game changer was the need for Bill to save Barry’s ass in the election.

Now, the WH must bring State back under their media umbrella to control the PR hemorrhaging that Hillary inflicted with Benghazi (they could give a shit about the actual bloodletting). Rice was their puppet-of-choice, but she came a cropper when the heat was on.

When you think about it, Kerry’s the perfect Pulcinella in Obama’s Commedia dell’arte…he’s even got the beak. Kerry will quickly devolve into the inept fumbling and bumbling that was the hallmark of his senate career and presidential campaign. Unfortunately for the country, Kerry’s not pretending to be too stupid to know what’s going on.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: February 5, 2013, 8:20 pm

Hillary loomed large as incompetent, flailing, and idiotic. She has to be divorced significantly enough from Benghazi to be the nominee in 2016, and even with the Democrat machine and GOP incompetence, she’s gonna be a really tough sell.

Overcharge button, anyone?

Comment from David Gillies
Time: February 5, 2013, 8:53 pm

Kerry has been spouting the standard guff about how Egypt is a valuable ally, etc. etc. instead of the truth, which is it’s led by a Jew-hating psychopath amd full of people who want to see us dead or enslaved. Instead of courting them, we should be hard at work updating target books and calculating overpressure contours. A good dollop of oderint dum metuant applied to the various scruffy, smelly and bigoted Islamic hellholes would work wonders of attitude adjustment.

Comment from Sigivald
Time: February 5, 2013, 9:18 pm

Well, at least we’ve punctured the idea that the Secretary of State should be a serious person, or that the Senate is a serious body.

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