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Ha Ha Ha on “things not to say to your girlfriend”:

“if i wereked teh car u we’re parylazyed? dude id totaly do teh rirght thign by yuo an finisish u off.”

not althagethar suu’re waht i saiad worng but my avise is dont cal er ‘dude’.

Since I am Baptist, not Catholic, I am allowed to LOL at the Toast stamper without eminent danger of toasting eternally in the place the Bible says was specifically created for the devil and his duped followers…Tee-hee-hee!

I was going to say, ‘Do you know who else dropped out of art school? That’s right – Hitler!’ but apparently he never even managed to get into art school.
Madonna on toast…nah, I got nothin’.

That’s pretty funny – loltoast. I think the pressed parts would be lighter though because those parts would be the furthest away from the heat elements.

Akismet!! Let my comments go!

Karma is a stone cold bitch. I knew a guy who damn near killed himself jacking a piece of toast out of a toaster with a butter knife.

Do not do this. Bad things will happen.

“Karma” comes from the colorful imaginations of Hindus who have several million other gods as well…and “universal consciousness” seems to be daily falling down on the job…Maybe “Karma” and “Lady Luck” are sisters?

History has shown that there’s two really memorably dangerous things in the household. Toasters and washing machines.

And two-year old boys.

Weas, can you ask your friend if there is one with Elvis? I mean, how can it be bad to make toast to the King? (by the way, that reminds me, if you are into good B-movies, “Bubba-Hotep” is worth the coin, and it stars Elvis and JFK). Too much coffee, I’m all over the place and I’m afraid to stop.

Grrr. *Rakes tin cup across cell bars*
Attica! Attica!

I can’t think of any other reason of putting the Madonna on a bread stamper and selling it on a college campi, other than to poke a finger in someone’s eye. And you just know college-types are too chicken to put someone like eternally cooked Mohammed on toast. Pussys.

Probably because so many, many people wash out of the grinding hell-machine that is art school.

So I drew Tippy the Turtle as an upbeat tribute to pointillism instead of the more popular chiaroscuro study of negative space. So what.

Don’t judge me.

Toast is not all about Jesus and his mother you know –

There ARE OTHER celebrities who appear on toast –

http://www.toaster.org/images/toasters/sanyo_skkt11.jpg

Heh. I have no idea why Akismet tore into you like that, Enas.

I set you freeee!

Oh, heavens, Lokki. Though I am not surprised.

Quoth the server, “404”.

Well, 403 actually. Close enough.

Forbidden

Kind of a mean error message, if you ask me. Shouldn’t there be more explanation? It’s not like I meant to upset the thing.

Oh well, I use a toaster oven anyways.

Gnus… actually it was a “Hello Kitty” toaster from the toaster museum that burns (or rather doesn’t toast) a picture of “Hello Kitty” into every piece of toast.

… [T]he little girls who bought those first Hello Kitty® purses have now grown up and are having children of their own — and what better way to share the joy of their own childhood with their kids than to serve up Hello Kitty® toast each and every morning?

The Sanyo electronics company has made this dream possible with the Hello Kitty® toaster. Cut-outs of Kitty’s head are welded to the inside of the toaster so that when toast is made, Kitty doesn’t get as toasted as the rest of the bread…
Unfortunately, this toaster is not being sold in the United States.

Well, my only option at this point is pan frying toast. And don’t think I haven’t done it. The instructions imply the lines are darker:

Note that this is a local product.

Local? You’ve moved to China!?

China moved to Rhode Island. They now get 8,340 seats in Congress. 😉

You’re right. It definitely looks like the lines are dark. Hmm. You should stamp a couple pieces of bread, make a grilled cheese sandwich and report the results.

Oh Akismet! I beseech thee! Let me pass and cast me not into the Gorge of Eternal Peril!!

Made in China, huh? Is that a presser made of plastic or lead? Same difference coming from there. Take the Madonna as a warning. Eat toast made from it and you might be seeing her for real.

I’ve thought of about a hundred other things I’d like to see stamped on bread this way! The guy who’s marketing these is missing a bet if he doesn’t have a dozen others in the works.

Unfortunately, this toaster is not being sold in the United States.

Thank goodness that statement is in error, otherwise I would be on my way to China or Japan this evening to retrieve one.

That would kind of blow the ole’ unemployed budget.

$19.98 at Toys’R’Us; and $24.99 at Target. And yes, I know its not the Sanyo referred to above.

I don’t even care if it works.

Hi Lokki!

/Embarrassing, but I got caught in my own Akismet yesterday. 🙁

I have/had a toast presser that make a heart and the phrase “I Love You.” Wonder where that ended up in the great move last year?

And EW, buy one of them there “Hello Kitty” toasters for the loverly Sarah D why dontcha?

Whenever I go into the local Tarjay and see their whole line of HK kitchen stuff I automatically think of Ms. Sarah D.

Well, let’s see if the spam bucket hates me at home too.

HUZZAH! I have free speach again!

Is it just me, or does anybody else look at that Madonna press and see a person wearing a tie cupping their hands around their mouth (and eyes) – like to shout, “Hello!”?

…Or, maybe, someone cupping (etc) so they can look into a plate-glass window?

McGoo, has your doctor ever said anything about ‘Rohrshach’ to you?

/And yes, now that you’ve pointed it out, I can see where a person with a high level of opioid metabolites in their bloodstream might be able to see that.

In USN boot camp, they showed us a great training film called “110 Volts–The Deadly Shipmate.” Black & white, of course, and with that fine late-1940s narration you know and love, the film featured one sailor (I recall his name was Joe, but I could be wrong) who had a series of, um, shocking experiences with electricity. The one I liked best was when he discovered a toaster at the dump (because that’s where we sailors hung out back then, you see); the next scene is him attempting to dig a piece of bread out of it with a butter knife. Joe suddenly convulses, hilarity ensues.

I remember wondering back then just how desperate could the Navy be to recruit people who needed to be told specifically not to stick butter knifes into toasters they found at the dump.

That is, until my ship was cruising south to Jacksonville, Fla. from a year in the Philadelphia Naval Shipyards, and I heard the following exchange back on the fantail:

Sailor 1: How long it gonna take us to get to Jacksonville?
Sailor 2: ‘Bout 10 hours. This baby’s fast.

Sailor 1: Wonder how much fuel she uses…
Sailor 2: Fuel? Shiiit, man, this baby run on steam.

Mystery solved.

Well – I wasn’t gonna mention what it looks like upside down…

jwp – that’s almost as good as “…it goes to eleven!”

Right you are, Steam. And on both counts.

Hi – EW1(SG):

Yeah Akismet is an unpredictable guy and very manic- depressive. You never know what’s going to catch his fancy.

Here’s pretty much how I see him – Akismet on a Sunday afternoon

Stash – re: China… “They now get 8,340 seats in Congress”

They’ve already bought a bunch, what’s a few more… 🙂

I remember wondering back then just how desperate could the Navy be to recruit people who needed to be told specifically not to stick butter knifes into toasters they found at the dump.

Do you know how many times I have hollered at my husband and son to not fish the stuck bagel or fish stick, yes a f*cking fishstick, out of the toaster with a butter knife? I am even so generous as to suggest they unplug it first if they are going to insist fishing with a knife.
Maybe, like farting, it is a guy thing because my menfolk are not generally idiots.

I know that you don’t need one more thing to lug to England, but if I had known that you were in need of a working vintage toaster, I would have hooked you up. I left several of them at my last apartment – too tired to carry one more thing down the stairs and into my new home. I love the Toaster Museum – used it a lot when I was still in the business of peddling retro chrome….

Couldn’t really take it to England anyhow; the electrics are all stupid there. It’s so bad now, I popped the button off my pants today and realized I had to beg a needle and thread offa somebody at work, because I have no idea where anything like that might be at home.

“….the electrics are all stupid there”

Yes, we use a respetable, manly 240 volts here, none of this limp-wristed, nancy-voltage, that minces its way down the wires, whistling Bernstein

And it is true, PnB. I, too, fish stuff out of the toaster. But I tend to favour a fork.

240 volts an’ all….

I think the knife (or fork) probing is definitely a guy thing. We guys are all – just a little bit – convinced that we are masters of ALL Man-created things, and that nothing would dare seriously fuck with us.

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis toastivoribus…

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us toaster-sinners?

Here, here! What!

Yes, we use a respetable, manly 240 volts here, none of this limp-wristed, nancy-voltage, that minces its way down the wires, whistling Bernstein

Does Algore and his commie fleet of mincing metro-pansies know about this?

I think the knife (or fork) probing is definitely a guy thing.

So I find out that the son cannot have a toaster oven in his dorm room but they will allow him to have a toaster. WTF? I do not see that as a better option. Especially if he insists on toasting other-than-bread.

Hell, PnB, give him a popcorn popper. You’d be amazed what can be cooked with a popcorn popper.

He would never wash it.

Those constant Virgin Mary apparitions are such bullshit.

On the other hand, you can see a Koranic verse in the scales of a fish here.

Not spam.

Why would he want to wash it? I never washed mine and it made me the man I am today! *hack – cough*

Seriously, we cooked lots of stuff i popcorn poppers in the dorm and most of it was almost edible! The marshmellow/rice crispy treats were the hit of the weekend that time!

Oy! It is because of us wimmins that you men live as long as you do. Thank us. Nevermind your thinking that you die because you want to because of wimmins.

I’ll have to take a look at popcorn poppers. I would rather he heat up a fish stick that way than in a toaster…where it will fall apart and burn and have to be dug out with something thoroughly unsanitary or metal. Can’t rinse out the guts of a toaster.

Try Wally World:

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4764754

This is fancier than I had in school (they didn’t have electricity then) 🙂 but it’ll do…

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