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Round 45: so many, many dicks…

So, Christopher Dorner is a crispy critter. Probably. I’m going to call it for Davem123, and in the unlikely event the DNA indicates otherwise…well, we’ll have our first ever Rescindment of Dick. Won’t that be fun?

But until such time as mayhap such a miracle doth come to pass…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The prize? Still a fabulous two-pack of Aunty’s Spotted Dick…!


Comment from Deborah
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:01 pm

Fidel Castro

Comment from Dustoffmom
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:01 pm

Going back to an old fav…..Nancy Reagan.

Comment from steve
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:01 pm

Hugo Chavez

Comment from Fawn
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:01 pm

Bonnie Franklin

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:03 pm

Former Houston Oilers’ coach/NFL player Jack Pardee.

Comment from steve
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:04 pm

Hey! You know who stopped smoking, this week?

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:05 pm

Robert Mugabe

Comment from steve
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:05 pm

Chris Dorner!

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:06 pm

Who did, Steve?

Comment from Hutch
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:24 pm

Eli Wallach again.

Comment from Pablo
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:27 pm


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:32 pm

Sticking to drunken sluttly celebrities, Lindsey Lohan. She hasn’t been in the news lately, so she’s due for a spectacular car crash…. I was going to pick Cher but how could you tell unless all that plastic was bio-degradable?

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:34 pm

Maggie Thatcher!

Comment from cheshirelion
Time: February 15, 2013, 6:38 pm

zsa-zsa gabor

Comment from naleta
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:00 pm

Michael Moore.

Comment from Michael
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:03 pm

Rosalyn Carter

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:07 pm

L.A. Lakers owner Dr. Jerry Buss is circling the drain. Too bad, but if it gets me the dick…

If my usual pick David Rockefeller Sr. bites the big one first I’ll have only myself to blame.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:15 pm

The Rev. Billy Graham.

Comment from mojo
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:18 pm

Harry Reid, in the cloakroom, of apoplexy.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:23 pm

I have the feeling this will be another short one. I never take the same pick twice*, and I don’t want to use up a really good one…

So a quickie – Stalin’s newest admirer, Vladimir Putin.

* I took Vo Nguyen Giap a second time by mistake. It won’t happen again!

Comment from Janna
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:30 pm

John Madden

Comment from Montenegro
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:31 pm

Once again Muhammad ALI for the win!!!!!!

Comment from USCitizen
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:34 pm

Burt Bacharach

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:35 pm

sean connery

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:36 pm

Jimmie Carter.

Comment from TwoDogs
Time: February 15, 2013, 7:40 pm

The pope.

Comment from Davem123
Time: February 15, 2013, 8:05 pm

Hey TwoDogs, no fair! You’re picking more than one person at a time (if this goes past the end of the month.)

I’m going with Rahm Emmanuel this time. Chicago is more dangerous than Afghanistan these days.

Comment from Mitchell
Time: February 15, 2013, 8:24 pm

I’ll take Uncle Al’s sloppy second: David Rockefeller Sr.

Comment from BJM
Time: February 15, 2013, 8:26 pm

Okay, I’m having no luck with Phil the Greek or Bush 41, so I’ll poach Uncle Al’s pick: David Rockefeller,Sr.

Comment from BJM
Time: February 15, 2013, 8:28 pm

Drats! missed it by _that_ much.

Okay GHW Bush it is.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: February 15, 2013, 9:50 pm

Steve, if he doesn’t tell us who stopped smoking this week.
Oh I get it, Chis Dorner- Ha Ha
I’ll take Phil the prince

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: February 15, 2013, 10:30 pm

Chubby Checker’s gonna bite the chubby, I just know it.

Comment from JeffS
Time: February 15, 2013, 10:36 pm

Harry Bellafonte

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: February 15, 2013, 10:43 pm

George Soros

Comment from sassamon
Time: February 15, 2013, 10:53 pm

Peter Sallis, voice of Wallace, the cheese loving inventor.

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: February 15, 2013, 10:59 pm

Ramsey Clark

Comment from Dan
Time: February 15, 2013, 11:06 pm

Frank Lautenberg

Comment from Spad13
Time: February 15, 2013, 11:31 pm

Dan Rather

Comment from Gromulin
Time: February 15, 2013, 11:31 pm

Antoine “Fats” Domino.

sigh…late again.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: February 15, 2013, 11:34 pm

Ed Asner A dick for the dick!

I wanted to take LiLo, but I would feel bad.

She’s in that downward spiral that’s going to end up with her being found in Charlie Sheen’s pool.

Comment from Zimmermanfan
Time: February 15, 2013, 11:41 pm

Jesse Jackson Jr even more so now that his charges have been suddenly dropped after oblahblah visited Chi-town…..

kooky, all that…..

Comment from ben
Time: February 15, 2013, 11:52 pm

William Shatner

Comment from RealMc
Time: February 15, 2013, 11:56 pm

Harrison Ford…….before they finish filming the planned star wars movies for sure……..

Comment from Thursby
Time: February 16, 2013, 12:19 am

Chuck Berry

Comment from Vince
Time: February 16, 2013, 12:28 am

Kim Jong-un —also romanised as Kim Jong-eun, Kim Jong Un or Kim Jung-eun—is the supreme leader of North Korea, the son of Kim Jong-il and the grandson of Kim Il-sung dies of shame from being photoshopped by a stoat

Comment from Susan G.
Time: February 16, 2013, 12:47 am

Let’s take Prince Philip. He has not been looking well lately.

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: February 16, 2013, 12:53 am

Late to the party, but it looks like Assad is still available.

Comment from Nina
Time: February 16, 2013, 12:59 am

Dinnerjacket. Wishful thinking?

Comment from Rodent
Time: February 16, 2013, 1:02 am

I’ll try Chris Matthews again.

Yes, Nina, that might well indeed be wishcasting.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: February 16, 2013, 1:04 am

Desmond Tutu

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: February 16, 2013, 1:05 am

I’m poaching Ron Jeremy. I can’t wait for the tribute film at the Oscars.

Comment from eirik
Time: February 16, 2013, 1:07 am

Mickey Rooney

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: February 16, 2013, 2:22 am

Sandi Jackson [Mrs. Jessie Jackson Jr.] because since she was thrown under the bus by the Chicago Democrat machine and her hubby; she has every reason in the world to turn state’s evidence with all that she knows. Someone is going to take action to protect the machine.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Justin Credible
Time: February 16, 2013, 3:46 am

Olivia DeHaviland.

Comment from LesterIII
Time: February 16, 2013, 4:26 am

Rostrum inspired this: Bob Schieffer, preferably via a mineral deposit falling to earth out of deep space and striking his tour bus, thus culling the herd of some of his like-minded sewage spewers.

Comment from p2
Time: February 16, 2013, 4:42 am

Once again, her royal majesticness, Elizabeth II.

Comment from dissent555
Time: February 16, 2013, 6:52 am

Roll the dice with Carol Channing again.

Comment from Oceania
Time: February 16, 2013, 7:22 am

I’m going all in for a mass killing?


Comment from unkawill
Time: February 16, 2013, 10:14 am

Back to Mickey Rooney

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 16, 2013, 12:41 pm

Oceania’s call here is an interesting one – ordinarily I would just shake my head and move on – but I think it calls for a pre-occurance ruling, noting that big rocks have just rained down from the sky.

Technically, it could be argued that the nameless (to us) victims meet the requirement of being instant celebrities. On the other hand it could be argued that Weasel had never heard of them until *after* their deaths. Further, given the size of the world population, sadly, that kind of nonspecific pick is much like forecasting rain. It’s sure to happen somewhere. JUDGES; what say ye?

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: February 16, 2013, 2:43 pm

Ronnie Biggs. Almost forgot again.

Comment from platypuss
Time: February 16, 2013, 2:50 pm

Back to Mandela.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: February 16, 2013, 3:38 pm

Tony Bennett

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 16, 2013, 3:59 pm

Oh, nonono, Some Veg. Far too vague for the Dead Pool. Somebody somewhere is always getting a meteor or a rockslide or an earthquake or a rogue ex-cop.

It’s usually Bangladesh (seriously, I saw actuarial tables for Bangladesh once. They musta really pissed God off that one time).

Comment from stina
Time: February 16, 2013, 6:25 pm

Michael Bloomberg.

That’s enough meddling for one lifetime, you cold-beverage-hating old goat. Now shut up and eat your salt.

Comment from acat
Time: February 16, 2013, 8:33 pm

Quincy Jones.
No particular reason.

Comment from cobrakai99
Time: February 16, 2013, 10:47 pm

Hillary Clinton. She knows too much.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: February 17, 2013, 2:31 am

Larry King Is he still alive? True story: I remember hearing Larry King on the radio when I lived in Miami in the 60s. Yes, I am that old.

Comment from Oceania
Time: February 17, 2013, 3:05 am

Obamas cousin -the Al Quaeda chappy?

Comment from Eileen
Time: February 17, 2013, 10:34 am

Billy Joel

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: February 17, 2013, 12:21 pm

Hugh “I Overdid it in the Sack” Hefner

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: February 17, 2013, 1:16 pm

I see Stephen Falken has poached my usual Ramsey Clark. I wish Stephen well with that pick because I will rejoice with every mouthful of dick he wins. So Jerry Lee Lewis is my pick. I was picking him in 1970, along with Johnny Winter, but he remains determinedly alive.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 17, 2013, 2:54 pm

I last saw Johnny Winter live in Atlanta in 1986 or so. They were rolling him onto the stage on a hand-truck even in those days. I thought he was dead then until they placed a guitar in hands and he started to play.

Still love him though.

Comment from Nanny 1
Time: February 17, 2013, 4:12 pm

Annette Funicello for all you old Mickey Mousers.

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: February 17, 2013, 6:20 pm

Please, God, The Bastard in America’s White House, whatever the fuck his real name is.

Comment from Davem123
Time: February 17, 2013, 8:41 pm

That’s the terrible genius of picking Biden as VP.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: February 18, 2013, 12:10 am

Comment from Davem123
Time: February 17, 2013, 8:41 pm

To be honest, I’d take Biden at this point. Biden may be a walking advertisement for Alzheimers and be unable to hit the ground with his hat; but as president he would do less damage to the country than the Lord of the Flies’ cabana boy. [Can’t remember exactly who I stole that presidential title from, but it is so apt that it is permanently stolen.]

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from thefritz
Time: February 18, 2013, 12:47 am

Henry Kissinger

Comment from Michael
Time: February 18, 2013, 3:30 am

I just saw over on the AoSHQ ONT that Mindy McReady has joined the choir fantastic (by her own hand).

Yeah, I had to look up who she was, too. (country singer)

Is it wrong that every time I hear a celebrity death mentioned anywhere, I come here to see if someone is gonna get dicked?

No, wait; that didn’t sound quite right….

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: February 18, 2013, 4:15 am

Mindy McCready Suicide:


Don’t fret, Michael – you aren’t the only one that hot-foots it over to the weasel whenever a celeb dies.

Comment from Oceania
Time: February 18, 2013, 8:15 am

I forgot to add the United States.
Your cuntry is becoming a cess pit for illegals.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 18, 2013, 12:58 pm

Oh, I say, what a delightful bon mot, O dear.

Comment from platypuss
Time: February 18, 2013, 6:35 pm

Uncle Al gets Buss dick!

Comment from Redd
Time: February 18, 2013, 7:35 pm

Mid-winter is always depressing. You know what this place needs? Mo’ chickens!

Comment from Tibby
Time: February 18, 2013, 8:52 pm

Dick Van Dyke – love the man, but he’s getting old.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: February 18, 2013, 9:04 pm

Sorry to lose Jerry Buss, glad to win the dick!

Back to David Rockefeller, Sr. on Friday unless somebody grabs that nasty old power slut first.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 18, 2013, 10:32 pm

Well, I’ll be damned. I had no idea who Buss is, but Uncle Al is so pleased with his dick, I’ll just take it.


Comment from Nina
Time: February 18, 2013, 10:34 pm

Dang, that was quick! The weekend isn’t even over!

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: February 18, 2013, 11:04 pm

Madam Stoat, rather than write a lot here, I’ll just post this link to the Fox Sports article about Jerry Buss. He was the owner of the spectacularly successful Los Angeles Lakers basketball team when, among others, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabar, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal. He had an NBA national championship ring for all ten of his fingers. It is understandable for anyone who does not follow sports, basketball in particular, to be unfamiliar with such people as team owners, but Jerry Buss was a very real standout for his team’s success, the respect he earned from those he worked with, and for a spectacularly flamboyant lifestyle.

I’ll send shipping/contact info via email. Thanks!

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: February 19, 2013, 12:37 am

What have you fiends got against poor Olivia de Havilland?

Eh, guess I’ll have to take Joan Fontaine again…

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: February 19, 2013, 12:46 am

Speaking of mass-death “events,” I seem to recall a Saturday Night Live sketch from many years ago in which the big earthquake finally hits The Coast and much of California is destroyed. The whole point of the sketch lay in getting laughs from reading off the names of show-biz types killed in the quake…

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: May 20, 2013, 9:44 pm

I just received in the mail a nicely rigid envelope with a nice beige picture of the Queen in the corner and a nice red rubber stamp image (front and back) of Auntie Weasel’s MARCA DA WEASEL. Inside, to my delight, was the “it’s official! YOUR HAVE WON THE DICK!” certificate for this round 45, and even more delightful was the prize itself. I was expecting something funny but what I found was a drawing of a lion’s head as a very mild and tasteful caricature. It is lovely, and I thank you very much, Madam Stoat.

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