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The Judgement of Weasel

Well. I’m calling the Dead Pool for fawn, who had Bonnie Franklin (pancreatic cancer…ugh). Fawn, you know what to do.

I’m pretty sure Hutch wuz robbed. If I had to take a guess, I’d say Chavez fell off the perch this week. Whether they’re literally keeping him breathing or he’s dead as a doornail and keeping it quiet or he’s not QUITE dead, we do not know. We may never know.

So. If it turns out Chavez died before Franklin (that is, if we get official confirmation of this fact from the Venezuelan government), fawn keeps the title for Round 46, but Hutch gets a consolation dick. I just love, love, LOVE saying “consolation dick.” If he dies after Franklin but before Round 47, nobody gets anything.

If you choose him in the pool next Friday and it is announced that he died after March 8, you (unnamed participant) will win the dick. But if they make the announcement after March 8, but confess that he died before March 1, then Hutch gets your dick. You don’t want Hutch to get your dick, do you? Or if they declare he died in the lacuna, nobody gets dick. So, really, Chavez is a mug’s pick next round, unless you’re Hutch.

But. Whatever. I’m not going to tell you how to play Dead Pool.

It is not perfect, but that is my judgment. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Good weekend, everyone!

Comments


Comment from Hutch
Time: March 1, 2013, 8:53 pm

Consolation dick. Heh…


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 1, 2013, 8:56 pm

The chicken forum I hang out on has been hacked by some retarded Moroccan kid. He left a triumphant front page in place of the usual, you know, pictures of chickens.

Hey, you there! Scary evil h4x0r d00d! You just successfully hacked a website where a small number of English amateurs gather to discuss keeping chickens. Oooo! I’m afraid there isn’t a word in the English language for how pathetically stupid that is. Perhaps there’s something in your native tongue? It seems likely.

He gives his address as exone_84@hotmail.com, if anyone would like to drop him a line or subscribe him to incontinence pad literature or anything.


Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: March 1, 2013, 9:23 pm

What’s really impressive is that he prolly did it on a x386 with Win98SE and a 14.4 kb modem. Not so smug now are we?!? ;)

He is, after all, a Moroccan hacker…I didn’t even know they had the intertubes in Morocco!


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: March 1, 2013, 9:38 pm

Speakin’ of consolation dick, I’ve found someone unluckier than I – waaay unluckier…
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/tampa-area-man-swallowed-sinkhole-18626152


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 1, 2013, 9:47 pm

Now let’s be honest here. You really wouldn’t want to be up on a parking charge in front of Mrs Justice Weasel, would you?

“You shall be taken from this court to a place of execution bwahahahahahaha!”


Comment from mojo
Time: March 1, 2013, 9:51 pm

Nice Yul Brenner impersonation, BTW…


Comment from mojo
Time: March 1, 2013, 9:56 pm

PS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uprjmoSMJ-o#t=460s


Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: March 1, 2013, 10:07 pm

I dunno AltBBrown, I’ve had a few days recently where being swallowed by a sinkhole would seem like a stroke of good fortune.


Comment from BJM
Time: March 1, 2013, 10:10 pm

>subscribe him to incontinence pad literature or anything.

I signed him up for everything DNC, OFA & Bambster. He’ll be getting bleg emails from his new BFFs Barry & Moochelle any time now.


Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: March 1, 2013, 10:25 pm

Now that’s just mean.


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: March 1, 2013, 10:39 pm

Now that’s just funny!
I can only hope that sinkhole man still assumed it was a godawful dream until he reached his final way station.
If there was a big guy in white with a beard, he’d have a LOTTA ‘splain’ to do if it were me.
“Layin’ there sleepin’, mindin’ ma own damn bidness…”


Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: March 1, 2013, 10:53 pm

My bet is he wouldn’t like a whole lot of Christian site stuff coming to him…..

Make it so.


Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: March 1, 2013, 10:54 pm

Oh and that by far is my favoritest weasel picture!!! I just love animals dressed up fancy schmancy.


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: March 1, 2013, 11:39 pm

Agree about the pic, Mrs C…
Anyhoo…idle minds…
As we have a week off w/ no one to root for/against, why not take a vote to be tallied @ noon SBT and pick a common target? Our collective ill will, negative energy, karma, burnt offerings and rosaries could possibly get the attention of the denizens of the universe and direct the Eye of Sauron towards a universally hated jerk.
What say ye???


Comment from Brother Cavil, Straight Outta New Cap City
Time: March 1, 2013, 11:41 pm

I signed him up for everything DNC, OFA & Bambster.

You realize he probably gave the max last year, right…?


Comment from dissent555
Time: March 1, 2013, 11:53 pm

. . . nobody gets anything.

heh. In the Obama-nation, this is something we are getting increasingly used to.

btw – awesome sweasel pic.

Caption contest for the sweasel pic. Complete the phrase “Après moi, la . . . “


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 1, 2013, 11:59 pm

Well, I can only think of one way to properly celebrate a good dicking. I give you Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life”, by a pair of cute blonde harpists…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aey9hOb_euE


Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: March 2, 2013, 12:18 am

Scuba,

I’ll see your two harpists and raise you 2 cellos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSByjqMGtaU

Welcome to The Jungle, Baby!


Comment from Redd
Time: March 2, 2013, 12:18 am

Where’s your black cap, Judge Dredd?


Comment from dissent555
Time: March 2, 2013, 12:43 am

ah, theme music for the days of “Let It Burn”.


Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: March 2, 2013, 2:57 am

Comment from dissent555
Time: March 1, 2013, 11:53 pm

btw – awesome sweasel pic.

Caption contest for the sweasel pic. Complete the phrase “Après moi, la . . . “

.
“Après moi, les petit fois.“ Dessert after Weasel!


Comment from EZnSF
Time: March 2, 2013, 3:04 am

Bonnie Franklin? That’s a sorrow. Honestly say I’m sad. Didn’t much care about the others.

Dame Stoat RULES.
Our liege!

(am I mixing royal titles?)


Comment from Nina
Time: March 2, 2013, 4:42 am

The dick is just flying out of Casa Stoat and Badger, isn’t it? I can only imagine the puzzlement of your elderly postmistress (aren’t all small town postmistresses elderly? I’m sure it must be a job requirement.) there in (insert name of small southern England village here) at the frequent packages of dick that the eccentric expatriate American weasel keeps sending abroad.

I’m guessing the Home Office has a file on you. :)


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: March 2, 2013, 6:08 am

Poor Schneider is heartbroken. I had a real crush on Valerie Bertinelli back in the day. Then she ruined Van Halen, and I got over it. Besides, by then Molly Ringwald had come along.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 2, 2013, 2:17 pm

My chicken forum is still down, goddammit. I’m negotiating over a couple of new chickens. If Morocco queers my chicken deal, I will so go jihadi on they ass.


Comment from Nina
Time: March 2, 2013, 2:27 pm

So, Stoaty, in your young bad ol’ days did you ever think you’d be a willing participant in a chicken forum?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 2, 2013, 2:51 pm

No, definitely not. We had chickens when I was a kid, and I really disliked them. We had an overly aggressive rooster who crowed at three in the morning (right outside my window) and kept the hens featherless from too much enthusiastic chicken love.

There was the blacksnake I found coiled up in the nest when I went to harvest eggs. I almost reached out and grabbed the thing before I noticed. My mother was furious, because it had been stealing eggs, and stalked out into the garden in her nightgown, grabbed it by the tail as it disappeared into a hole, and beat it to death with a hoe. Most astonishing thing.

Then there was the Summer a possum picked them off one by one. Nasty beasts. They kill by disemboweling, like as not leaving the bird still alive.

We’ve been very, very lucky. A couple of scary near misses with the fox and Mapp caught a fever once.


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: March 2, 2013, 3:19 pm

“Well, all that sex and violence certainly explains why you love them now”, he said, trying to casually back towards the door and hoping that the weasel couldn’t detect the fear in his voice


Comment from Nina
Time: March 2, 2013, 3:19 pm

That’s the problem with pets…we sure do fret about them.

Errrr…I mean egg producers. :)


Comment from JeffS
Time: March 2, 2013, 4:24 pm

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Her Stoatiness Has Spoken™!!


Comment from thefritz
Time: March 2, 2013, 5:46 pm

Is it just me or is it a bit creepy that your Highness Weasel is cloaked in what surely looks like ermine?


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 2, 2013, 8:28 pm

Dick: blocked!


Comment from Hutch
Time: March 2, 2013, 10:14 pm

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/03/01/us-venezuela-chavez-idUSBRE9200N720130301

I may get the consolation dick after all.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 3, 2013, 2:49 pm

I thought that too, thefritz.

Still, what a way to treat those members of your fmably you just can;t get along with ;)


Comment from steve
Time: March 3, 2013, 7:51 pm

I am picking Her Maj!

Apparently she got that stomach bug. (The on that nearly killed me last week. Really opened up the sluices at both ends.)

If she lives past Wednesday, though…I’m changing my pick.


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: March 4, 2013, 12:27 am

Steve…. ahem, maybe you are picking Her Majesty© and maybe you ain’t … if I get there first but can’t poach Snore, er, Senor Chavez…. *

*See rule about dirty tricks and poaching and let’s see who gets there first :-)


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: March 4, 2013, 3:46 pm

Bonnie Franklin was only 69, which means she was about 31-40 when she played in “One Day at a Time.” Half her life ago. (I recall my mother, not a big sitcom fan, actually liked ODaaT.)

Franklin was a guest star on a first-year “Man from U.N.C.L.E.” A member of my MfU Yahoo! group says he met Franklin at a convention and mentioned the U.N.C.L.E. episode, and she laughed and said, “Oh, that piece of sh*t!” That remark, plus her role as Margaret Sanger in a 1980 TV-movie, is all I know about her.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 4, 2013, 11:08 pm

It’s getting pretty late in Weasel-land.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 4, 2013, 11:17 pm

Why, yes it is. I always get jammed up on Mondays. There’s extra clearing up to do after Sunday roast, and it’s garbage day and…stuff.

Any idea what I can post about?


Comment from Pablo
Time: March 5, 2013, 10:02 pm

And there it is! Down goes Hugo, passing dicklessly. Adios, asshole.


Comment from Hutch
Time: March 5, 2013, 10:08 pm

I still think he got his one-way ticket to Hell last week. Glad he’s gone, though.


Comment from thefritz
Time: March 5, 2013, 10:15 pm

*Who is


Comment from acat
Time: March 5, 2013, 10:22 pm

http://dailycaller.com/2013/03/05/buh-bye-hugo-chavez/

So long, Hugo. (condolences to Seannn Pennnn)

Who knew Weasel had the vision?

Mew


Comment from RealMc
Time: March 5, 2013, 11:11 pm

Generalisimo Francisco Franco is

DEAD.

Rot in hell hugo. Rot in HELL.


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Time: March 5, 2013, 11:38 pm

[...] is Dead! The only bad thing is that he died in between Dead Pools, (I’d click that link just for the pic, it’s awesome) so nobody gets the dick. Oh [...]


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 6, 2013, 2:18 am

Why, yes it is. I always get jammed up on Mondays. There’s extra clearing up to do after Sunday roast, and it’s garbage day and…stuff.

Any idea what I can post about?

Everybody likes chickens.

Everybody.


Comment from j2
Time: March 6, 2013, 6:22 am

i wonder if sean penn will pine so for the loss of his buddy that he will slip the bonds in order to serve his hero in valmarxisthalla -

chalk one up in the plus column for cancer


Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: March 6, 2013, 3:32 pm

Indeed – only time in my life, so far, I’ve had any sort of favorable thoughts towards cancer -

Would be nice to know that he went screaming in unbearable agony at the end. Unfortunately (and disappointingly), probably not so.


Comment from Veeshir
Time: March 6, 2013, 11:25 pm

I figure Sean Penn and Obama felt all the pain Chavez couldn’t.

At least, I hope.

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