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Round 48: you don’t get dick any more

AltBBrown wins again! With former NFL, NCAA coach Jack Pardee. I trust you guys that this is significant.

I totally didn’t inherit the sports gene. I told my dad that once and he said, “yeah, me neither. You watch football, though, right?”

Right! Here we go:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The prize? We call it “winning the dick” for historical reasons. It used to be an actual dick you got in the mail — but, man, dick is heavy! So instead, you will get a small, simple, original sketch by me. And it won’t even be a sketch of dick. I tried, but it turns out I can’t draw dick!


Comment from cheshirelion
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:01 pm

Valerie Harper

Comment from Hutch
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:02 pm

Valerie harper

Comment from Dustoffmom
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:02 pm

Nancy Reagan……still.

Comment from Fawn
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:02 pm

Wilko Johnson – Game of Thrones star, guitarist in band Dr.

Comment from Pablo
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:03 pm

Billy Graham

Comment from Hutch
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:03 pm

Rats… I’ll go with Eli Wallach then.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:03 pm

Christy Dignam – front man for Irish rock band, Aslan

Comment from Michael
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:04 pm

Rosalyn Carter

Comment from Montenegro
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:04 pm

Going with Muhammad ALI once more.

Comment from Janna
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:07 pm

Kirk Douglas

Comment from AndStatistics
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:09 pm

Bashir Assad

Comment from currently
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:12 pm

Nelson Mandela

Comment from JeffS
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:19 pm

Jimmy Carter.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:42 pm


Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:46 pm

Zsa Zsa Gabor. Die already will’ya? Arnold the pig had better acting skills.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:48 pm

Robert Mugabe

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: April 5, 2013, 6:58 pm

David Rockefeller, Sr.

It’s well past time for him to close all his accounts.

Comment from unkawill
Time: April 5, 2013, 7:00 pm

kim jung un the boy wonder of N Korea

Comment from Mrs Comton
Time: April 5, 2013, 7:35 pm

Maggie thatcher. And yes, once again I’m on vacation!

Comment from Eirik
Time: April 5, 2013, 7:35 pm

micky rooney

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 5, 2013, 8:08 pm

I think Green Acres was her sister Eva, Grom.

Comment from armybrat
Time: April 5, 2013, 8:08 pm

HRH Phil the greek

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 5, 2013, 8:12 pm

Hellen (Hell-tard) Thomas

Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 5, 2013, 8:23 pm

D’oh. I still think the pig was better. Not Sam Drucker or Mr. Haney level acting, but still better.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: April 5, 2013, 8:47 pm

Once more unto the breach, dear friends –

Insaney Crimson Janey Fonda – we all gotta go sometime, and she’s most definitely overdue, by at least a decade or so.

Preferably, I’d like to see her show up for one of the TeeVee talk shows, have her answering questions that are phoned-in, get on the line, and tell her, “Bad, bad news, Janey…Sarah Palin’s just been nominated as the next addition to the Supreme Court, and the early straw-polls show her as a shoo-in”, or some such rudeness, then watch her mostly-empty arch-Commie skull explode allll over the place!…

(Well, hey, I can dream, can’t I? And, if you’re gonna dream, DREAM BIG!!)

You’re up, Some Veg – may I humbly suggest Larry King?

Update: Whoopsie – I see Some Veg already went with Fidel; good choice, though his little bruddah actually ain’t lookin’ too hale ‘n happy these days, either.

Comment from sassamon
Time: April 5, 2013, 8:47 pm

Again, I choose Peter Sallis for the dead pool.

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: April 5, 2013, 8:55 pm

Buttrocka Obamanus, killing children worldwide with drones and America-armed terrorists since 2008: coming to a gun-free zone near you soon.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: April 5, 2013, 9:05 pm

That old crow Helen Thomas.

Comment from mandel bread
Time: April 5, 2013, 9:24 pm

Al Molinaro

Comment from StPatrick
Time: April 5, 2013, 9:41 pm

Fred Phelps

Comment from Rodent
Time: April 5, 2013, 10:02 pm

Stickin’ with Chris Matthews.

Comment from Davem123
Time: April 5, 2013, 10:06 pm

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, destroyer of the economy of Argentina.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: April 5, 2013, 10:12 pm

Raul Castro

Comment from Spad13
Time: April 5, 2013, 10:24 pm

Bob Schiefer (sp?)The news dude.

Comment from stina
Time: April 5, 2013, 10:33 pm

Michael Moore, the Menace from Michigan.

Comment from m
Time: April 5, 2013, 10:34 pm

Sen. Frank Lautenberg

Comment from PJ the watcher
Time: April 5, 2013, 10:44 pm

Margaret Thatcher
Bless her!

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: April 5, 2013, 11:30 pm

Hugh “Where’s My Viagra?” Hefner

Comment from PJ the watcher
Time: April 5, 2013, 11:41 pm

Bah! I read through the list three times and didn’t seeThatcher. Blast!
Dick Chaney

Comment from RealMc
Time: April 6, 2013, 12:25 am

Wesley Snipes……..

outta the pokey, and will likely try to catch up some of the partying he’s missed……or was he in that New Orleans video…..hmmmmm

Comment from Zooom Zooom
Time: April 6, 2013, 12:27 am

if there is a more deserving has been fine but old rubber face Jim Dumber and Dumber and Dumber Kary (sic).

Halp him somebudy he are stuk in hall-e-weird.

Comment from Big Gulp
Time: April 6, 2013, 12:29 am

big daddy nanny Bloomberg……from brainfreeze pleeze.

Comment from dissent555
Time: April 6, 2013, 12:30 am

Joan Fontaine again.

Comment from Vince
Time: April 6, 2013, 1:04 am

John Kerry

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: April 6, 2013, 1:06 am

I’m going with Carol Channing this time.

Comment from tomfrompv
Time: April 6, 2013, 1:09 am

Does spelling matter here? Couldn’t find it in the rules. EG: two people picked Helen Thomas, but the first spelled Helen wrong. Who would win assuming she croaks.

And is it fair to find a mispelled name and take it for yourself, even if the original poster admits he may have spelled it wrong? We all want to win the Dick, but not be one. (that newscaster seems like a good bet)

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: April 6, 2013, 1:51 am

Yet another novelty pick: former UN Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

Because anyone associated with the UN apparatus in the last 40 years is foul.

Comment from p2
Time: April 6, 2013, 2:07 am

gonna grab ol’ pointy ears hisself.. Leonard Nimoy. just coz i got lucky and no one did…

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: April 6, 2013, 2:43 am

Late to the pool. Been busy today, preparing for coming hungry times. With some success. However, forgot that the Dead Pool was today.

John Hickenlooper: the Governor of the state of Colorado, responsible for the changes in the laws that allowed the white supremacist gangbanger inmate [son of a major campaign contributor] who murdered his own Corrections Director to get out of prison years early; and supporter and signer of the gun laws designed to try to make the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution illegal in Colorado. Do I have to actually say that he is a Democrat? Actually, I rather suspect that he is far from the name to pick to win the pool. Which is ok, because we have the right of recall for state officials here, and it is in progress. I have no confidence in the honesty of our electoral process, but we are going to make them work to cheat enough to avoid recall.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from ben
Time: April 6, 2013, 3:15 am

William Shatner

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: April 6, 2013, 3:25 am

Luise Rainer, oldest living Academy Award winner.

2 time winner of the award before WWII.

Comment from spunkus
Time: April 6, 2013, 3:34 am

OJ Simpson (or Bart)

Comment from Dennis
Time: April 6, 2013, 3:42 am

George H.W. Bush

Comment from catnip
Time: April 6, 2013, 4:00 am

Eli Wallach

Comment from Justin Credible
Time: April 6, 2013, 4:25 am

Celebrity panhandler/communist Irwin Corey

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: April 6, 2013, 5:32 am

I’m keeping my pick of Hickenlooper, but I just ran across something that makes me want to put a Brit on the list. I have mentioned I read Brit papers. In Plymouth, England; one of the homes of the Royal Navy [and the Royal Marines, for that matter] there is a pub, the Minerva. It has some distinction, having been Sir Francis Drake’s own local, and part of it is built from the timbers of Spanish ships of the Armada that were sunk by Drake. The spiral staircase is centered with a mast off of a Spanish Armada ship.

Local historians date it from the Armada battle [1588], even the national historians say late 1500’s. Apparently, until he died in 1596, Drake lived up the block and was known to drop in.

The Brits have a plague called “Health and Safety” Inspectors. They have ordered the pub painted inside and out with fire-retardant paint, because the wood is so old. Whatever Jobsworth did this, by keelhauling, by Sir Francis’ ghost.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Amiable Dorsai
Time: April 6, 2013, 9:20 am

Mikhail Kalashnikov. Because it’s well past time.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: April 6, 2013, 11:04 am

If I hadn’t already picked, I’d find the name of the top chef for Ikea. Ponies – now piggies??

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: April 6, 2013, 1:25 pm

Mikhail Gorbachev

Comment from thefritz
Time: April 6, 2013, 1:26 pm

henry kissinger

Comment from cobrakai99
Time: April 6, 2013, 2:57 pm

Hillary Clinton to clear the way for MOOchelle

Comment from Bill the B utcher
Time: April 6, 2013, 3:55 pm

Olivia de Havilland!

Comment from naleta
Time: April 6, 2013, 5:47 pm

Of course Michael Moore was already taken by the time I get here, so I’m going with my fall-back of Larry King.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: April 7, 2013, 1:06 am

Bonnie Prince Charlie. Just cause.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: April 7, 2013, 1:57 am

Subotai Bahadur – you stole my pick!! So I’ll go with the ignorant “representative of the peeps” D. Deget who doesn’t know you can reload a magazine…..
and it’s me…Oh Hell who forgot to fill in all the blanks…but at least I know how to reload.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: April 7, 2013, 2:12 am

Phil Collins.

Comment from RecklessProcess
Time: April 7, 2013, 12:16 pm

Peter O’Toole

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: April 7, 2013, 1:34 pm

I can’t believe I missed this!

It’s tempting to pick Abe Vigoda, or Oceania, but I’m gonna go a little more obscure.

John Waihee, former governor of Hawaii.


Comment from Tibby
Time: April 7, 2013, 1:50 pm

Queen Elizabeth, because I think she’s ill. But I like the lady, so not wishing, just speculating.

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: April 7, 2013, 4:19 pm

John McCain

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 7, 2013, 5:20 pm

Anyone have Lilly Pulitzer? Heaven… or hell… just got a little brighter.

Comment from RimrockR
Time: April 7, 2013, 5:59 pm

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela – Version 1.0 of horrible first ladies. Here’s hoping that upon arrival at her final destination she is rewarded with a nice necklace with matching earrings.

Comment from Un-anonymous
Time: April 7, 2013, 6:24 pm

because Mija Cat skipped on him…….

Abe Vigoda.

If I win, I will share some dick ;o)

Comment from Sockless Joe
Time: April 7, 2013, 9:49 pm

Suzanne Somers.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: April 7, 2013, 10:09 pm

Rep. John Dingell -(D)emented, Fabian Socialist from Michigan, waaaaay past his “sell” date.

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: April 8, 2013, 1:30 am

I will pick the old commie Ramsey Clark again.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: April 8, 2013, 3:26 am

Gordon Brown again. Although the catastrophe he engineered probably means the UK will die before him.

Comment from Yojimbo
Time: April 8, 2013, 11:37 am

Ed Asner

Comment from Pablo
Time: April 8, 2013, 11:56 am

That was quick. Congrats, Mrs. Compton and RIP Lady Thatcher.

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: April 8, 2013, 12:00 pm

Indeed. (eyes Mrs. Compton .. steps to opposite side of the room) Congratulations.


Comment from steve
Time: April 8, 2013, 12:02 pm

I’m going with…..


It’s over, already?

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: April 8, 2013, 12:03 pm

Yaay for Mrs. Compton!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 8, 2013, 12:17 pm

Mrs. C takes it at last.

Poor old Maggie. Let’s see how tactless the press is willing to be over this. My guess is, the British press will be very tactless indeed.

Comment from Pablo
Time: April 8, 2013, 12:41 pm

CBS was detailing how she stomped on the Commies and they’re not saying it like it’s a bad thing. Yet.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: April 8, 2013, 12:57 pm

Congratulations, Mrs. Compton.
RIP, Margaret Hilda Roberts Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher, former research chemist who became the longest-serving Prime Minister of the UK in the 20th century, the only woman so far to have held the post. While she has been out of public life for many years, this is a sad day indeed for all who respected the intelligence, the commitment, the fortitude and the forthright capitalist views of “The Iron Lady.”

Comment from Nina
Time: April 8, 2013, 1:11 pm

I’ve never been so sad to see Mrs. Compton win!

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 8, 2013, 1:30 pm

I don’t feel like a winner. It’s a terribly sad day.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: April 8, 2013, 1:39 pm

Well, she out lived that feckless cat turd Roger Ebert, so there’s that.

Comment from Pablo
Time: April 8, 2013, 2:00 pm

Imagine her sharing a dram with Reagan and John Paul II, Mrs. C. She had a hell of a run.

Comment from Redd
Time: April 8, 2013, 2:16 pm

She’s not having a state funeral so there is no reason for the socialists that head our government dishonor her by their presence.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: April 8, 2013, 2:42 pm

Oh, Maggie. Sic transit gloria mundi.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: April 8, 2013, 3:33 pm

That terrific trio is together again: Reagan, John Paul II and Maggie Thatcher. Hopefully they can intercede for us up there to stomp the commies down here.

Congrats and condolences, Mrs. C.

And thanks to Stark Dickflussig for pointing out the silver lining!

Comment from Davem123
Time: April 8, 2013, 3:38 pm

Congratulations, Mrs. Compton and farewell to the Iron Lady. I have no doubt that the leftists are quietly (for now) celebrating her passing, illustrating the meager state of their souls.

Comment from steve
Time: April 8, 2013, 4:50 pm


So anyone who was thinking about picking Cher, Friday…..

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 8, 2013, 5:03 pm

Annette Funichello just went to meet Walt.

Comment from Redd
Time: April 8, 2013, 5:28 pm

Somebody better compare the times, we may have an upset…

Oh, wait — no one picked her this time around. I knew she was ill but not that she was bedridden. Oh, well…now’s the time to say good bye to all our family…M-I-C…K-E-Y…M-O-U-S-EEEEEEEE!

Comment from tomfrompv
Time: April 8, 2013, 7:05 pm

I’m trying to imagine that FECKLESS cat turd. LOL. Are there other kinds?

And thankfully Helen Thomas still lives. Not sure how the Hellen vs Helen calls would have been made.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: April 9, 2013, 6:35 pm

I tried, but it turns out I can’t draw dick!

All you need is a six, a three, & a one.

Comment from CoyoteKhan
Time: April 10, 2013, 8:36 pm

I’ll go with Congressman Ralph Hall of Texas.

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