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Positively the last ‘Weasel’s birthday’ post of 2008


What happens when you mix a Weasel, late hours, lots of alcohol, an upcoming birthday, a credit card and a sudden and unexpected NRA promotional email? You get the ENTIRE Charlton Heston commemmomerotive collection comin’ at you by mail, that’s what!

Check it: an autographed copy of the Courage to be Free, TWO ‘Cold Dead Hands’ t-shirts (one in blue and one in gray) and a be-logo’d and signatured commememomorative knife, in a signature tin (with a dent in it, dammit).

Yeah, I know. Commememmeorative knives suck. But until that logo wears off, I’m cleanin’ my fingernails with Charlton!

It’s the Friday before a long weekend. Knock yourselves out!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 23, 2008, 11:10 am

I also tried to buy myself a big ol’ American flag with 48 stars (because that’s how many I am). But I got into a bidding war on eBay and did the keyboard faceplant before the auction was over. It ended up going for less than I was willing to pay, but probably a bit more than it was worth.

The 48-star flag is the most common, I gather.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: May 23, 2008, 12:00 pm

Knock yourselves out!

Oh, but I shall. I’ve got a date with my friend ethyl-alcohol. We go way back. He’s managed to get himself dissolved in some cheap-looking Brazilian lager contained in some queer-looking bottles. I’ll have him out of there in a jiffy. That’s what friends are for.

That’s a nice pen knife-looking thing. Is that a tool for prying weapons out of cold dead hands? Outstanding.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 23, 2008, 12:16 pm

Knock yourselves out!

Funny you should suggest that: I was just now wistfully eying the opiate shelf in the medicine cabinet. I still have a few of the Summer-07 vintage left – “The Summer Of The Titanium Knob”. I ought to use them before they spoil. Percocets do spoil, don’t they?

I see no reason to remain conscious the rest of today.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 23, 2008, 12:33 pm

I have a small supply of Oxycontin left over from an unfortunate dental procedure. I took Ibuprofen to get me through the dental thing, just so I could string these babies out over several years. For those especially trying times o’ life.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 23, 2008, 12:48 pm

They (the oxy’s) will do the job.

I may need one of those Chuck Heston collections and not know it.

Ya know, Ibuprofen is pretty damned good stuff. People don’t realize that way back in the mists of time a hundred years ago, they had no painkillers at all except for the super-potent opiates and ether (I think). No aspirin, no Tylenol, no Advil, etc. You hurt? You suffer.

Life sucked and was short and painful back then.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 23, 2008, 1:17 pm

Well, they had booze. And opium. And they put them together into one super awesome package of awesomeness called laudanum and sold it over the counter. But, yeah, as a general rule they understood that wasn’t such a great idea for life’s minor aches and pains.

Tylenol does nothing for me (plus it’s dangerous). Ibuprofen works a treat. And if they discovered aspirin today, it would be hailed as some kind of miracle drug.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 23, 2008, 1:22 pm

OH MY GOSH! I’ve just seen that Hulu is carrying Lost in Space! Plus Alfred Hitchcock Presents and a lot of other stuff.

There’s my weekend planned!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 23, 2008, 1:40 pm

See, now, Doctor Smith is scared shitless of that warbling green lady who had the hots for him. Could he be any gayer if he tried?

Comment from Allen
Time: May 23, 2008, 1:41 pm

Cool Hulu link. Some of the shows do appear intriguing. The “Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show” looks interesting. I mean with episodes like Talk to the Hotdog, Chief Itchy Balls, and Lick Poop how could you go wrong?

I need a drink already.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 23, 2008, 1:47 pm

That particular one jumped out at me, too. I’ll have to go back and check it out later. Right now, I’m getting my Lost in Space fix.

If you haven’t watched anything on Hulu, the resolution is pretty good. Largish, sharpish picture. Very short commercials in the appropriate commercial slots. Lots of programs. It’s cool. I hope the business model pays off for them, because I’m loving it.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: May 23, 2008, 1:51 pm

Unfortunately McGoo, lately I haven’t been able to even see if percocet will get stale. Let’s just say that the latest trip was… uh… bracing. Carrying luggage behind you and slung over your shoulder doth not a comfortable neck make. Neither does sitting in shitty conference room chairs for 2-1/2 days looking 20 degrees to the left.

I think it’s safe to say that back in the day before painkillers were produced in mass quantities (hydrocodone had to be made by hand back in the 1700’s), that getting whiplash from being rear-ended by the horse behind you really sucked.

There’s a joke in there, I’m sure.

I happen to love the movie Two Mules for Sister Sara with Clint Eastwood. Remember the scene where they remove the arrow by (1) generous use of whisky, (2) the butt of a revolver, and (3) a long line of gunpowder laid in the groove of said arrow? Obviously this is the sort of thing that exists in Hollywood, but back in the day when amputations were de rigeur treatments for nasty breaks and obscene injuries… shit, life had to be rough. My accident in the plywood mill – probably would have a hook for a right arm right now or dead, if it had happened 100 years earlier.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 23, 2008, 2:00 pm

If you like obscure it’s perfect. The first few episodes, well it’s kind of hard to describe. I have no idea what monkey socks are though.

Comment from geoff
Time: May 23, 2008, 2:39 pm

Charlton Heston commemmomerotive collection

Complete with Charlton Heston commemmomerotica, no doubt.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 23, 2008, 3:13 pm

I saw that phrase Lick Poop and thought it was the name of a Chinese sidekick or sumpin. It oughta be…

“C’mon, Lick Poop! Get a wiggle on! We’ve nearly caught up with the rapscallions!”

Comment from LemurKing
Time: May 23, 2008, 3:18 pm

geoff… what is “commemmomerotica”? Should I be afraid to ask? 🙂

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 23, 2008, 3:42 pm

It’s anything with a picture of Charlton Heston on it, LK. Trust me.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 23, 2008, 4:02 pm

McGoo watch one of them, bizarre but funny.

I am hooked with the Hulu thing. I’ve been thinking about getting DSL at my place in the mountains, this made it mandatory. I can OD on Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, The Time Tunnel, and all sorts of tasty goodness from childhood this weekend. Oh my.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 23, 2008, 4:05 pm

Both Irwin Allen productions. Your kung fu is strong, Allen.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 23, 2008, 4:28 pm

Those are … weird. Somehow, finding out about Lick Poop made the phrase even better. The show “Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show” is really strange.

Lost in Space. I used to love it when Dr. Smith would plead for his life – usually at least once per episode – and would go, “Oh, please!” in that strange effeminate tone of voice.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 23, 2008, 4:42 pm

Weasel, can’t leave off “Land of the Giants.” “Lost in Space” for some reason really didn’t work for me. Maybe because I really identified with Will, and it kind of spooked me.

Must get some work done.

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: May 23, 2008, 7:10 pm

Okay, so Hulu is great…and I now have decades of old TV that I never got to watch the first time because I was out at sea to catch up on: but let’s get back to the important stuff-free NRA cutlery!

No kidding, my fav0rite pocket knife of all time is an NRA freebie I got for renewing my membership (back before I became a Life Member) made by Sheffield of Ireland…with the round NRA logo on the blade; and its never worn off!

Little sucker stays sharp too.

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: May 23, 2008, 7:14 pm

Oh…and opiates. Yes, percoset will lose its potency over time, ibuprophen is terrific stuff but more dangerous than tylenol because of its action as a vasodilator~it can cause you to bleed to death so don’t use it to calm your bleeding ulcers, aspirin would never make it past the FDA these days; and oxycontin doesn’t work much better than aspirin.

So, if you’re looking to obliterate pain (or anything else) hydromorphone is the ticket!

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: May 23, 2008, 7:35 pm

Ugh – tylenol – a hate object of mine. We call it paracetamol over here. I go nuts when I see it being so widely recommended. Not only doesn’t it work very well, but the dangerous dose is so very close to the safe one.

Risks and all, ibuprofen is my analgesic of choice. Though only because the nanny state won’t let me buy anything stronger because they’re scared I might hurt my ickle self with the bad, nasty medicine.


Comment from kishnevi
Time: May 23, 2008, 9:26 pm

I’ve had some recent and extensive experience with percocet and tylenol.(Pelvic fracture.) Percocet works better than tylenol, but not much. And it’s constipating. (Which for me was a bonus. I’ve got Crohn’s.) But the only painkiller that actually got rid of the pain was the morphine they gave me for the first few days after the operation. Unfortunately, the hallucinations were so wierd they would have made a good program for Hulu.
I have discovered, however, that tylenol does make a very effective sleeping pill, even if it doesn’t bring down the pain levels.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 23, 2008, 9:45 pm

Interesting – all these painkiller comments. Tylenol, Ibuprofen, oxy, perc, aspirin, and the two daddy-bears, morphine and hydromorphone. Everyone has their favorite.

I got some Ibuprofen in Paris once for some back pain, and the pharmacist must have spent ten minutes correcting my pronunciation of the shit. “‘Eee-boo-pro-fin”. Fucking frogs!

Hey, Weazel? I have noticed that you have been “heh-less” for a while. Me too. It’s sometimes hard to not use it, neh? Its so apropos in certain sentences.

Comment from Buffoon
Time: May 23, 2008, 10:33 pm

Due to Schlitz, Buffoon has nothing witty to say right now….

Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: May 23, 2008, 10:34 pm

Double inner and outer ear infections = 1/4 of a valium and I was passed out drooling.

Comment from Wollf
Time: May 23, 2008, 11:57 pm

Heh…..I had to have, at my request thank you very much, my now X-wife put a parental lock on the manly shopping channel.

A few too many beers, a good mood and a late night ended equaling a half a thousand dollars worth of fancy collectors knives……

I’m such an eleven year old trapped in a half century old body….

Love the site, always liked weasels….’cept they bite.

Comment from porknbean
Time: May 24, 2008, 2:50 am

Can’t remember the stuff they gave me when I was in labor with my son. It was supposed to take the ‘edge’ off. Damn liars. But had the pain gone away, I would have enjoyed it immensely. So when it turned into section, the spinal was lovely.
Other than that, with my high tolerance to pain, Tylenol has been the strongest medicine I have used. I no longer will because I get so weirded out when I can feel the moment it enters my bloodstream.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: May 24, 2008, 5:24 am

They do, Wollf, they do…

Comment from LemurKing
Time: May 24, 2008, 3:54 pm

Ok, Weas, I trust you. “commemmomerotica” gotta remember that.

Uncle Badger… I’m torn regarding painkillers. When you hurt and constantly, they are a necessary evil, lest thoughts of ending the pain in a more permanent fashion creep in. But I sure do mistrust them (drugs). The painkillers I am on are loaded up with Tylenol as a measure to keep one from getting too free with the stuff (take too much you turn your liver to black goo) but you’re right, the dose is too close to what can really damage you. If someone was in enough pain and they forgot when they took their last dose… scary.

PNB… after a while (months) your tolerance for protracted pain is worn down. I dealt with the pain pretty well until about 4-5 months went by and then it just got to be too hard to keep toughing it out.
I used to have an exceptionally high pain threshold, but not so anymore. You can feel it when Tylenol kicks in? Yikes… what is it like?

Comment from porknbean
Time: May 25, 2008, 12:31 am

‘Yikes… what is it like?’

Weird. I don’t know how to describe it. Some years back I had a few bad reactions to drugs- antibiotics, antihistamines – that really messed my system up. I am now hypersensitive to a lot of things. If it isn’t ‘natural’, I try to avoid it…though I’m sure at some point I may not have that option. Until then, I’ll stick with holistic measures.
BTW, I’m sorry for your troubles and hope you have been able to find a good pain management program. Constant pain is no way to live. Thank God for modern medicine complemented with old.

Comment from Retired Geezer
Time: May 25, 2008, 9:55 am

Pocket knives – illegal in England since 1999.

It’s for the Children.

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