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Be on the lookout!


Trying to help a fellow painter out here. Twelve of Greg Stones’ matted and framed watercolors were stolen from his home in Glocester, RI (yes, Uncle B…for your information, that one we pronounce correctly) last Wednesday. The one pictured at left is Penguins, Baseball, Revolver.

Other examples of his oeuvre can be seen here. I’d particularly like to draw your attention to my favorites: Nude Observing Monster, the poignant Cavemen and Reaper and the intriguing Victim #2 (who willingly bares her breasts to the machete-wielding psychopath).

Sadly, Seven Penguins, One Poop is not reproduced.



Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 8:05 am

Cat Abduction #3 is pretty good, too, mostly because the cat is so…I don’t know. Ordinary. It would absolutely break my heart if this guy isn’t dead serious about his work.

On a related note, I have decided Craig’s List is the dumbest place on the internet.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 8:11 am

Good news! It looks like he is (mostly) serious, and there’s more to see!

I don’t know why I’m laughing. Dude is a full-time painter and apparently makes a living at it, while I sit here driving a cubicle for the forces of evil corporate America.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 3, 2008, 11:35 am

Ha! You may pronounce it correctly, but you lost a U in there.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 12:13 pm

Oh, man. I can’t believe this post made the DPUD roundup today. Dude! Joking!

Comment from skinbad
Time: June 3, 2008, 12:56 pm

The person who stole those paintings should be considered armed and loopy.

Comment from porknbean
Time: June 3, 2008, 1:06 pm

Okay, I like his penguins, but not super excited overall.
I think your weasels are ten times better, which means you can probably make ten times more once you move across the pond and shift your priorities.

And speaking of using your God-given talent, have you seen this lady’s work, weasel? She has a big heart.
(again, get rid of the space after http:, and paste)
http: //www.militarytimes.com/hancock

Pingback from Who Arted? « Innocent Bystanders
Time: June 3, 2008, 1:22 pm

[…] June 3, 2008 Posted by skinbad in Crime, Economics. trackback S. Weasel links to one of the great art tragedies of our–or any–time. Art theft of a monstrous […]

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:16 pm

Ya know, Weasel, PnB has a point! When you depart these Yankee Shores for Jolly Olde (soon, m’lady, soon!) you will be –


*drum roll*

“The American artiste – Lady Stoat Badgerbugger-Weasel!”

You will be an Import!

That’s always worth an extra 30% on fees.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:27 pm

I’m going to be an American import, McGoo. I’m not sure that has much cachet. I’m right in there with Bic Macs, Canada geese and gray squirrels, noam sayn?

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:37 pm

Rats. Can’t you say you’re affiliated with NASA, or sumpin? I mean, you did original work on Pringles!

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:41 pm

It’s even worse, McGoo. Her Ladyship is a Tennessee weasel. What plays the banjo.

We did get the Beverly Hillbillies here, you know..

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:46 pm

Hesh up, Uncle B, or I’ll make up a mess o’ Mama’s Possum Surprise.

We’ll see which one of you is more suprised.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:49 pm


Weasel plays the banj-fiddle?

Does she – like – play Rocky Mountain Breakdown, and Dueling Banjos?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:53 pm

Foggy Mountain Breakdown, yanqui dipstick. And yes.

I’m a third generation bad banjo player. My dad plays and my grandfather did, too. Between the three of us, we have assaulted eardrums for nearly a century.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:56 pm

It’s true, McGoo. Tea with the Duchess should be… entertaining 😉

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 2:58 pm

I knew I was screwing it up somehow, but the phone rang (the milf) and I just said, “eff it” and hit enter.

Actually I like the sound of banjos. Far, far away.

And someday we’ll have to have a go at Dueling B’s. I play the guitar, after a fashion.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 3:21 pm

Oh, crap. Hillary might be throwing in the towel.

The party’s over now, folks. I wonder what they’ll hit Obamamama with first, now that he’s the sole target. His church, and its uncivilized deacon, or whatever? his wife – and her barely domesticated pet Mouth? His finances, and his friends in crooked places? His lack of discernible accomplishments?

And the MSM can go ahead and pre-print the attacks on the (R)s for being racist – no matter what they in fact say. ‘Cause it’s all racist, ya know.

I would say this is gonna be interesting – but it’s gonna be booorrriiinnnggg.

Comment from Allen
Time: June 3, 2008, 3:50 pm

Did someone say Possum Stew? Ummm, ummm, good eatin’ some chitlins and turnip greens on the side for me. I’ll bring the squeeze.

Ah the good old days, when running shine was a good way for a young man to earn a little spending money.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 3:59 pm

I’ll believe it when I see it, McGoo. Even if she makes concession noises, I bet she doesn’t release her delegates to him. So she could step in at the last minute if Obama steps on his own dick again. Never turn your back on a hungry Clinton.

Allen, I used to make small batches of moonshine for Christmas presents. Just to keep my reputation as a hillbilly intact.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 4:38 pm

Ditto, Weaz. He was the Comeback Kid, and she’s the Won’t Go Away Bitch. But I liked the way she kept things divisive, and the way she – in effect – held a mirror up so the MSM could see itself in all its biased, unsavory glory.

You made ‘shine? Whoa…

I drank some of that stuff in Nashville between semesters when I was in school. It was good.

Comment from Allen
Time: June 3, 2008, 4:48 pm

Cool, one must always uphold some traditions. I’m looking into making congac and brandy. It’s really not that hard to get a license from what I’m learning. The ATF has already given me an explosives manufacturing license, so what’s a little booze?

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 4:55 pm

Allen – explosives?

Let me guess – fireworks, or rocketry? Or the tree stumps in the lower forty at grandpa’s old homestead?

Comment from porknbean
Time: June 3, 2008, 4:57 pm

Heh. Ace has a way with words. On the post about conservatives being more honest than liberals..DUH…he wrote this..

Evidence of Liberal Lying? 90% of women claim they’d rather “chat up” (i.e., monkey-fuck) someone with a hybrid than the latest sports car.

In related news, my moped would get 60 miles to the gallon, if only I didn’t have to dodge all the pooter flying at me like I’m driving in Hurricane Vagina.

Tickled my funny bone for some reason.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 4:59 pm

My dad has a sweet little brass rig that sits on the stove and will put out a shotglass of ‘shine in time to impress guests, but mine was lab glassware. I fell asleep once and the temperature got away from me. Blew the rubber stopper right out of my giant Erlenmeyer flask in a volcano of mash. God, did that stink. My apartment smelled like yeast for a week.

I thought it was pretty hard to get a distilling license. Let us know how that goes if you try for it, Allen.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:03 pm

Copper! Geez! Brain fart! Copper is supposed to help the clarity of distilled hooch, I think.

Comment from Lokki
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:06 pm

Notice my gracious condenssation in ignoring any comments about southern ladies who play the banjo ’cause my grandpappy did’. Now let us lay aside all mental images of sunbonnets and corncob pipes (Specifically DON’T think of Mammy Yokum) and talk of north-eastern America’s sophisticated interest in art –

Regarding Mr. Stone and his precious purloined penguin paintings-

You know it seems that it was a only a specific specialized element of his work (and perhaps not the most important part at that) which was stolen. He paints other sh!t too. I simply do not understand what passes for art in the late 20th/early 21 century. I had a friend all through college who was an art major. It was almost 4 years before I discovered that he could actually paint a duck that looked like a duck. He specialized in what I generally referred to as Thalamide Babies…but he thought of a a personal signature style. But why – for art’s sake, WHY??

As for Hillary¡ – she’ ain’t been dead for 3 days yet. Snakes may die at sunset, but for Hillary¡, we wait 3 days to be sure. I’m betting she’ll stick around waiting for Obama to implode.

Comment from Allen
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:08 pm

McGoo, I do some consulting for some oil companies. I do some perforating charge development work on occasion. I even worked for Halliburton once. Conservative, Halliburton, Money, the trifecta of evil.

Weasel, I’m going to find out. Apparently, it’s not that hard if you jump the right hoops. I have found a lot of times they make it sound hard to discourage folks, but it’s really not.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:09 pm

Heh, PnB. Ace often cracks me up, generally speaking with phrases exactly like that. But I can’t for the life of me figger out how he managed to make Conservative Blog of the Year. I guess we can’t possibly have all the prudes they say we have…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:12 pm

Well, then, here’s my favorite home distillation site. Lots of useful info and recipes. You can even download the whole thing and browseit locally off your hard drive.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:23 pm

You hit the mark regarding Ace, Weaz and PnB. His “abrupt & vivid imagery” (as I like to call it) has been the reason for many a spew on my part.

I wish I had the link or a copy of a poem he did 9-12 months ago (I think). It was a parody of Kubla Khan or Ozymandias or sumpin, but it had me crippled with laughter for a long time. Thought I was gonna die. For the first few readings, I couldn’t even finish it without stopping to cry with laughter.

He’s good. Really good.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:30 pm

Allen – well, hell – that’s no fun. I figured it might be a hobby or sumpin? You know – the occasional party-pleaser, just to keep the neighborhood on its toes.

Actually, I’ve been told by military types that – generally speaking – “if it blows up on your command, it’s fun.”

Comment from Allen
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:30 pm

Hey, thanks for the info. That’s going to be useful. It’s kind of confusing on the license thing. I suspect they do it that way on purpose. For other licenses I’ve got I had to do both state and federal. Then the county gets their nose in the tent.

I do know California has a specific license called “Brandy Manufacturer” it’s $100 initially, then $95 a year renewal.
I live in an unincorporated area of my county which for some strange reason, makes a difference.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2008, 5:42 pm

In case you got distracted by the adorable penguins and didn’t follow links, dude’s site has lots of clowns, zombies and boobs.

And on that note, your hostess needs her medicine…

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 3, 2008, 7:09 pm

Lokki – I, too, will “wait 3 days” to be sure the corpse is dead, but it’s sure lookin’ like she’s gonna concede.

‘Course she could come hurlin’ back – just like the last two drinks did last time I got sauced – much to my chagrin and embarrassment.

But seriously, how could she still be considering this thing when Slick Willy has been willy-stuffing anyone with an available orifice lately. The man is a disgrace! He’s a walking hard-on! He’s an ambulatory penis joke! I wish I knew what his diet was!

Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: June 3, 2008, 8:15 pm

Ambulatory penis joke read as ambulance penis joke. Not a good visual.

Comment from Jessica
Time: June 4, 2008, 9:24 am

Lady Stoat Badgerbugger-Weasel
You need this on a shirt.

Comment from Greg Stones
Time: June 4, 2008, 9:42 am

Thanks so much for the support. It means a lot. You rock.

– Greg Stones

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 4, 2008, 9:58 am

I think I’m going for “That Bloody American Woman” instead. So I can start conversations with my worst possible manners.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 4, 2008, 9:59 am

Ohmygosh! Was that really Greg Stones?!?

Dude — seriously. The more I looked at your stuff, the more I liked it. I might have to buy one…

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 4, 2008, 10:02 am

Tell them you’re a War Bride – just brought home from the Crusades, Weaz!

…Or that its an “arranged” marriage!

…Or that you’re simply a spoil of war that Badger brought back from Canookistan! That’ll get those British tongues waggin’!

Comment from Allen
Time: June 4, 2008, 11:41 am

Weasel, Have you ever seen the work of John Cox? It’s a mixed bag but I like it. http://johncoxart.com/ He did the artwork for the new label on my wine.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 4, 2008, 12:12 pm

Oh! Of Cox and Forkum! Sure I have. I like his stuff, too.

Comment from Allen
Time: June 4, 2008, 12:31 pm

Yes, that’s him. Seems like a really nice guy too. When he was doing the artwork for the label he put some of it up on his blog for his readers to comment on. It was a hoot.

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