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Round 55: It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

So, thefritz racks up his third dick with Nelson Mandela. Nelson Mandela, at long last. Today, you will find many fawning hagiographies of Mandela. The BBC will be untouchable for a week.

Let me just say, “Yay! New DeadPool for Christmas!”

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because w00t!

March 7, 2014: I’ve closed comments on this one because it’s become a huge spam trap. Spambots tend to zero in on certain posts and hit them again and again. Go figure.


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:01 pm

Back to Christy Dignam – front man for Aslan.

Comment from Fawn
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:01 pm

Wilko Johnson – Game of Thrones star, guitarist in band Dr. Feelgood.

Comment from sandman having a hitch in his get along…
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:04 pm

Jesse Jackson, Sr and Jr. Twofer.

runner up would be the satisfaction of seeing “Reverend” Louie Parraquat take a dirt nap.

Comment from sandman having a hitch in his get along…
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:04 pm


Comment from Montenegro
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:05 pm

Once again Muhammad ALI!!!

Comment from Janna
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:09 pm

Kirk Douglas. SOB will probably outlive me.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:18 pm

Gordon Brown, the gurning one-eyed sociopathic twat.

Comment from vince
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:24 pm

betty the white

Comment from Hutch
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:26 pm

Maureen O’Hara

Comment from Michael
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:33 pm

Rosalyn Carter

Comment from steve
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:47 pm


Comment from jc
Time: December 6, 2013, 6:47 pm

Sticking with the King – BB that is. with the hypertension and the diabetes it can’t be too long.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 6, 2013, 7:03 pm

Nothing could make a better Christmas gift than Jimmy Carter stuffing it like the Turkey he is.

Comment from StPatrick_TN
Time: December 6, 2013, 7:11 pm

As always, Fred Phelps (D).

Comment from Davem123
Time: December 6, 2013, 7:35 pm

I’ll take Robert Mugabe. Maybe it’s catching.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: December 6, 2013, 7:53 pm

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Comment from BJM
Time: December 6, 2013, 8:09 pm

El Presidente Nicolas Maduro is on borrowed time fer sure.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: December 6, 2013, 8:11 pm

The world is a target-rich environment. Between the overt enemies of our country [foreign and domestic], and the covert ones who pretend to be an “opposition” to those enemies, all of which seem to be bleeding immortal, it is hard to choose.

Last time I chose Harry Reid’s catamite Mitch McConnell. I’ll go back across the aisle, and since the Left’s own Tom Riddle is off limits, let it be Reid himself, of something suppurating and fulminating, and not blocked by a filibuster.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Ben
Time: December 6, 2013, 8:29 pm

William Shatner

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: December 6, 2013, 8:30 pm

Since it’s a Christmas list for Santa: Barack Hussein Obama, killer of everything good in America and elsewhere.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: December 6, 2013, 8:45 pm

Carol Channing

Comment from mojo
Time: December 6, 2013, 9:15 pm

Castro – Raul, not Fidel.

Comment from Sporadic Small Arms Fire
Time: December 6, 2013, 9:36 pm

Henry Kissinger (the Baron Harkonnen on 20th Century).

Comment from LesterIII
Time: December 6, 2013, 9:43 pm

I’ll take Ed “I went into acting as psychotherapy, and it’s still a work in progress” Asner

Comment from LesterIII
Time: December 6, 2013, 9:47 pm

Great Googlymooglies, I missed the low hanging fruit…

Comment from Thursby
Time: December 6, 2013, 9:52 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from Nanny 1
Time: December 6, 2013, 10:03 pm

Lauren Bacall

Comment from Brother Cavil, straight outta New Cap City
Time: December 6, 2013, 10:10 pm

Sticking with Casey Kasem.

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: December 6, 2013, 10:18 pm

Can’t believe no one else picked her yet……but I’ll continue to go with Nancy Reagan.

Comment from thefritz
Time: December 6, 2013, 10:33 pm

Olivia de Haviland and I’m a he Stoaty…

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: December 6, 2013, 10:52 pm

George Soros

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: December 6, 2013, 11:05 pm

Sean Connery. He ain’t lookin too good these days

Comment from Pupster
Time: December 6, 2013, 11:09 pm

Charlie Sheen in a blaze of glory and a puff of white powder.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 6, 2013, 11:28 pm

Whew! Here I am late fearing when I got here I’d have to go mackerel shopping. But, NO! I’m off that hook.

David Rockefeller Sr.

DIE! DIE! DIE Already!

Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: December 6, 2013, 11:52 pm

Stephen Hawking.

Comment from m
Time: December 7, 2013, 12:51 am

Eli Wallach

Comment from Pablo
Time: December 7, 2013, 12:58 am

An oldie, but a goodie! Mikhail Kalashnikov.

Comment from RealMc
Time: December 7, 2013, 1:14 am

Clint Eastwood…….happily I pick him as I never win ANYTHING.

Comment from Zooom Zooom
Time: December 7, 2013, 1:16 am

Hairy Pelosi and/or Nanzy Reid….preferably together whilst fornicating.

Now, a healthy dose of mind bleach will help rid you of that mental image. maybe.

Comment from Zimmermanfan
Time: December 7, 2013, 1:17 am

George Zimmerman

Teh dumb ass don’t seem to be able to help himself.

Comment from eirik
Time: December 7, 2013, 1:19 am

Mickey Rooney

Comment from PatAZ
Time: December 7, 2013, 1:28 am

Al Sharpton. His head just keeps getting bigger so it’s got to explode sooner or later.

Comment from Un-anonymous (just me)
Time: December 7, 2013, 1:34 am

Chris Mathews from some twisted obama induced auto-erotic “accident” involving a tingle.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: December 7, 2013, 1:37 am

Damned new job conflicting with deadpool…

Abe Vigoda. I’m convinced he’s a cyborg since he looked 70 in 1970, but since abevigoda.com is my homepage at work (don’t ask) at least I’ll be the first to know.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: December 7, 2013, 1:47 am

Billy Graham. He said the FOX special was his last proclamation, so maybe he knows something we don’t.

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 7, 2013, 2:17 am

I’m scubefreaked between the Assassination of Alex Jones or Hillary Clinton.

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: December 7, 2013, 2:42 am

Sid Caesar

Comment from Tibby
Time: December 7, 2013, 3:06 am

Mary Tyler Moore

Comment from Ripley
Time: December 7, 2013, 3:08 am

Luise Ranier.

Just to keep her going…at 103…

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: December 7, 2013, 3:15 am

Tony Bennett

Comment from pandelume
Time: December 7, 2013, 3:25 am

Pete Seeger, if you please

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 7, 2013, 3:35 am

Isn’t it time for another Presidential Assassination?

I’m going with Obama – re-decorating the Podeum with an interesting new colour called ‘hint of brain’ …

Comment from catnip
Time: December 7, 2013, 3:46 am

(Urk… Oceania, you are one sickening creature.)

My entry: Actor/singer Herb Jeffries

Comment from Armybrat
Time: December 7, 2013, 3:47 am

Desmond Tutu, because that commie bastard Nelson will need company in hell. While the world mourns the loss of Nelson, let us remember what nasty bastards he and his troops were:

Comment from P2
Time: December 7, 2013, 4:12 am

Don Rickles

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: December 7, 2013, 4:31 am

Day-oh, day-oh.

Daylight come and Harry Belafonte want to go home to the ever loving arms of Satan

Comment from tinman
Time: December 7, 2013, 8:50 am

Kirk Douglas

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: December 7, 2013, 9:08 am

My usual late-arrival has not obviated either of my most-favored picks, I see –

Ah, well – I’ll go with the most usual, and put in for Red-Jane Fonda to bite the big ‘un – c’mon, Janey, you can do it, just lie back, swallow that ol’ tongue and think of four-and-twenty pretty li’l Marxists, all in a row (which would make them a very ready and attractive target, now wouldn’t it just?).

Actually, I kinda tend to favor SomeVeg’s pick – now that Jimmuh’s been safely supplanted by Da Wun as Worst U.S. PresiDUNCE (Any Century, Any Era, All-Around Division), he can shuffle off this Mortal P-Nut-Shell, take his little ol’ hammer and go build Habitats In Hades (even Lucifer’s Own can use a spit-level furnace or two, y’know?).

No offense, Paula Douglas, but I’m hoping you lose – a mind like Hawking’s is definitely an asset to be held onto as long as possible.

As to Oceanic Balderdash’s “pick” – totally ineffectual (as is its author), as twolaneflash already (in the true spirit of Christmas a-wishin’ and a-hopin’) designated Da Wun; so – no Podium re-decoration in your favor, ya disgusting Kiwi twit.

BTW – should the subject arise, I think steve’s pick would require some extra-special vetting (due, of course, to steve’s rule), as it seems still entirely possible that Fidel’s already roasting chestnuts by Satan’s open fire, but, for any number of possible reasons, Raul and the rest of the Cubano Revolutionary romper-room Central Gubment are keeping the admission of his demise under wraps for the nonce. I mean, whose responsibility is it to run verification on actual date of demise, in a case of secretly-delayed corpus announcement?

Comment from currently
Time: December 7, 2013, 11:12 am

Hugh Hefner – smoking jacket catches on fire.

Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: December 7, 2013, 11:52 am

Burt Reynolds. Just saw him on Gas Monkey Garage. Not looking good.

Comment from stina
Time: December 7, 2013, 3:45 pm

Michael Moore. From choking on an entire cow.

Comment from jic
Time: December 7, 2013, 6:28 pm

Mikhail Gorbachev – he’s almost 83 years old, and he’s repeatedly criticised Putin. Both facts suggest he might not live a lot longer.

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: December 8, 2013, 12:08 am

Ramsey Clark, commie bastid.

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: December 8, 2013, 12:37 am

Ah man – I’m so late that my fallback has been poached (Grrr Mrs. Compton).

Kanye West. Please.

Comment from steve
Time: December 8, 2013, 12:38 am

Looking good, RushBabe!

Comment from RushBabe
Time: December 8, 2013, 1:56 am

Thanks! That means a lot coming from you! (Not that I want to see the Rev. Graham slip the coil, but he is about 95, I think.)

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 8, 2013, 2:50 am

Ahhh Amerikans … a natural assumption of your own cognitive cultural superiority, however – your own culture decays around you in a muiltiracial denigration …

The USA, a terran empire that ended in the early 21st century … now there is the real dead pool.

Comment from HTB
Time: December 8, 2013, 5:20 am

Kim Jong Un in a military coup

Comment from Elphaba
Time: December 8, 2013, 7:44 am

Miley Cyrus. From being hit by a wrecking ball.

BTW, Stoaty, I’ve been really busy and haven’t been here as regularly as I used to be, but I want you to know that I enjoy this blog very much. You, Chris Muir, and Laura Ledford are the folks I try to keep up with. Don’t have to worry as much about Ace of Spades, because hubs reads him and always fills me in. Anyway, thanks! 🙂

Comment from mandel bread
Time: December 8, 2013, 2:44 pm

Al Molinaro

Comment from ocareha8er
Time: December 8, 2013, 4:06 pm

Ezekiel Emanuel.


Comment from unkawill
Time: December 8, 2013, 4:28 pm

Van Dyke, Dick, 1ea

Comment from Fawn
Time: December 8, 2013, 4:52 pm

Joan of A, Burt’s been looking like that for years. Saw him in a close-up on TV about 8-10 years ago. Looked like he was wearing his own death mask or his makeup had been applied by a noob mortician.

Comment from acat
Time: December 8, 2013, 4:56 pm

Lots of old hazbins, and one young’un. Let me help balance it out by picking Lindsay Lohan. She’s 27, y’see ..


Comment from Sockless Joe
Time: December 9, 2013, 2:25 am

Willie Nelson, the Red-headed stranger.

80 years old, probably been high for 60 of those years.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: December 9, 2013, 3:46 am

As always, looking to break new ground.

Robert M. Morgenthau, renowned former District Attorney for New York County (Manhattan) from 1975 to 2009. Not especially deserving, but 94 years old.

Comment from rimrockR
Time: December 9, 2013, 2:27 pm

Let’s go with a second infamous Manela – Winnie. Perhaps during the upcoming ceremony there will be a flaming tire funeral pyre and she can toss her sorry self onto it.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: December 9, 2013, 7:31 pm

Too much to hope that Gordon Brown can die in time for Xmas and make me very happy.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: December 9, 2013, 8:00 pm

The child molester: Roman Polanski

Comment from oldowan
Time: December 9, 2013, 8:35 pm

Walter Mondale…

Comment from Teresa
Time: December 9, 2013, 8:56 pm

I’m going to hope John McCain shuffles off this mortal coil before he can do much more backstabbing damage.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: December 10, 2013, 5:15 am

Late to the party, sonombatch.

I’m gonna have to go with the Ayatollah Khamanei or however you spell the head Mad Mullah.

Comment from dissent555
Time: December 10, 2013, 5:30 am

Sorry I’m late.

wow, she’s still available. Joan Fontaine, then.

Comment from Harry
Time: December 10, 2013, 5:57 pm

Once again, I will go with George Soros…please, Grim Reaper, make this a verry merry Christmas!!

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: December 11, 2013, 4:28 am

Joan Fontaine!

Comment from mbtokyo
Time: December 11, 2013, 5:01 am

Stan Lee. He did a cameo in Iron Man 2 playing Hugh Hefner and man, he didn’t look to good.

Comment from Enrico Palazzo (baritone)
Time: December 11, 2013, 5:47 am

Sir David Attenborough.
Bizarre autoerotic gratification ritual involving lyrebird chorus.

Comment from Luther Vandruff
Time: December 11, 2013, 5:50 am

Linda Ronstadt, running out of Stoner supplies can be so… downing.

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: December 12, 2013, 7:24 pm

Harry, George Soros was picked already. Just pointing that out because I’d hate to see you waste a pick when there are so many deserving choices!

Comment from Spunkus
Time: December 13, 2013, 1:49 am

Barbara Walters.

Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: December 13, 2013, 1:56 pm

Country singer Ray Price.

Comment from naleta
Time: December 13, 2013, 7:46 pm

Charlie Rich. I hear he’s been moved to hospice care. 🙁

Comment from Gromulin
Time: December 15, 2013, 6:29 pm

No one had Peter O’Toole?

Comment from Acat
Time: December 15, 2013, 8:58 pm

I thought o’toole was long dead, alas!


Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: December 15, 2013, 10:03 pm

Whoopi Goldberg… ’cause she’s not funny or entertaining, anymore.

Comment from thefritz
Time: December 15, 2013, 11:47 pm

Tom Laughlin, star of ‘Billy Jack’ films and presidential candidate, dead at 82

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: December 16, 2013, 12:16 am

Reports of Ray Price’s death are (as of this posting) premature. It sadly looks hopeful for you, though, Jeff Weimer. 🙁

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: December 16, 2013, 1:21 am

Congratulations to “dissent555” with Joan Fontaine for the win! 96 years old and a great actress.

See ya’ll on Friday.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: December 16, 2013, 2:15 am

Dang. I’m betting (should he live so long) Ray Price gets snapped up pretty quick.

Comment from programacion neurolinguistica}
Time: December 16, 2013, 7:50 am

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Comment from gromulin
Time: December 16, 2013, 3:52 pm

Is that haiku?

Comment from thefritz
Time: December 16, 2013, 5:38 pm

“Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon…”

that’s got Oceana’s fingerprints all over it…

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: December 16, 2013, 7:04 pm

thefritz @ December 16, 2013, 5:38 pm:
“Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon…”

that’s got Oceana’s fingerprints all over it…

The backlink is to a five-month-old post on “Dave’s Words of Wisdom”. It seems to be a real (currently active) blog by a guy who posts treacly aphorisms with greeting-card-like illustrations.

Which is no explanation at all for the name used (Spanish for “neurolinguistic programming”??), or the weird comment-spam-like content, or why the link is to a posting from July 23….

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: December 17, 2013, 12:14 am

Ray Price is … no more.

It takes a smart man with a lot of will power to wait for the dead pool to end, but before it recommences, before shuffling off the mortal coil, and thus dying undicked and in dignity.



Comment from thefritz
Time: December 18, 2013, 1:58 pm

Another DP favorite has slipped between the cracks…Ronnie Biggs caught the last train and can’t get picked…sorry AltBBrown.