With a name like Indignico, it has to be unseemly
Let’s see — where were we?
Indignico, Inc — the people behind velvetpaintings.com — bringing you output of the finest Velvet Elvis painters of Tijuana.
Each original custom velvet painting was painted entirely by hand in Tijuana, Mexico by a professional Mexican velvet Elvis artist for Indignico Inc. And each one was commissioned by average ordinary everyday people from the internet–just like you–who thought it would be worth between $250 and $1250 to have their idea envelvetized by a genuine, authentic, professional Mexican Velvet Elvis Artist with the kind and nurturing guidance of a trained Curator-Of-Sales from Indignico Inc.
Indignico Inc. is just the sort of All-American American company who will stop at absolutely nothing to smuggle–over the border and into your lives–just a little bit more All-American American Quality. . .
Yeah, they’re taking the mickey. But they’re also serious: they’ve got a permanent eBay store and they take commissions. For $250, you can have any ol’ thing you like immortalized in acrylic on velour.
For some reason, they have a particular obsession with envelvetizing Republicans. I mean Lincoln, Reagan…sure. I guess. But who’d fork over a couple of hundred bucks for a velvet Karl Rove or annoyed Jack Abramoff?
I get the snark. I just don’t get the point of the snark. Seems like a lot to pay for a big, ugly punchline.
Thanks to Muslihoon, who asked what was so darned funny about velvet paintings when the topic came up. Poor Musli…it probably makes less sense now than it did before.
Posted: July 9th, 2008 under art, personal, politics.
Comments: 28
Comments
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 9, 2008, 6:18 am
Is it just me, or did anybody else have NO FARGING IDEA who Karl Rove was until the left started bleating about him? And that Focus on the Family guy — Dobson — him either.
How’s come the Other Side knows all about conservative leaders and I don’t?
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 9, 2008, 6:42 am
Musli needs to go see some velvet paintings. Then he will know.
<Velvetized. Now that’s an ugly verb. On par with enroadment, which is the process of being pressed into the pavement by road traffic (as in road kill).
It should be illegal to commission velvet paintings: there are already entirely too many in the universe. And besides. they kill brain cells and can cause miscarriage.
…And, yes, I had no idea who Karl Rove was etc, etc. Thank goodness the (D)s saw fit to give me a heads-up as to the danger.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 9, 2008, 6:50 am
Oi! McGoo! Shouldn’t you be putting shit into or taking shit out of boxes at this moment?
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 9, 2008, 7:19 am
Okay…here we go…today is Kitty Dentist day for Charlotte. I drop her off this morning and pick her up this afternoon.
Poor little shitbag. SHE WANTS HER GODDAMN BREAKFAST, GODDAMMIT!
Comment from Farmer Joe
Time: July 9, 2008, 7:30 am
Is it just me, or did anybody else have NO FARGING IDEA who Karl Rove was until the left started bleating about him?
Well, I’d certainly never heard of him before Bush got elected. I like Rove for the sole reason that the mere mention of his name drives liberals into mouth-foaming apoplexy.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 9, 2008, 8:08 am
I am, Weaz, I am! I just took a li’l Net break. This computer will be torn down this evening – after dinner and drinks. I’ll probably never get it to work again.
What Farmer J said. My fondness for anyone in politics is directly proportional to the level of mindless foamy-mouthed rage the person evokes in the Liberal psyche. The personage who evokes fatal heart attacks or seizures in the (D)s as a whole shall be my deity forever. May He or She arrive soon.
Comment from Alice H
Time: July 9, 2008, 10:33 am
My husband’s uncle got his office filled with chickens and a coffin for one of his milestone birthdays. There’s no shortage of what kind of cash people will spend on laughs.
Now I’m tempted to suggest a velvet painting of him…
Comment from Allen
Time: July 9, 2008, 11:24 am
I’m kind of partial to “Satan on the Toilet” meself. I suppose that’s also a republican, if you ask the left that is.
Alice H, were the chickens live cackling ones?
Comment from Muslihoon
Time: July 9, 2008, 12:08 pm
Ah, okay. Now I know what y’all are talking about.
I think I’ve seen them here and there.
They are the tackiest thing ever.
But why on earth would someone want a velvetized portrait of the Abu Ghraib guy, Osama bin Ladin (yemach shemo), or Marshall Applewhite?
This, it boggleth mine mind, it does.
Comment from porknbean
Time: July 9, 2008, 12:14 pm
velvet = cheese
Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 9, 2008, 12:29 pm
COOL!!! I need to commission about 100 of these Kim-Jong Il, Hugo Chavez and Mymoodiminajihad velvets for my next trip to the shooting range.
I could hold a shooting contest with a really great bottle of wine as the prize…… 🙂
Comment from Lokki
Time: July 9, 2008, 1:36 pm
“…why on earth would someone want a velvetized portrait of the Abu Ghraib guy, Osama bin Ladin (yemach shemo), or Marshall Applewhite?”
Because out beyond tacky lives another fine old American tradition:
The What could be Worse? joke:
Here’s a example that comes to mind:
Doctor: Mr. Smith, I have some bad news for you. Your wife died in childbirth…..
Mr. Smith: Oh my God – What could be worse? What could be worse!
Doctor: The baby has a birth defect.
Mr. Smith: Oh my God – What could be worse? What could be worse!
Doctor: In fact, your baby has no arms or legs.
Mr. Smith: Oh my God – What could be worse? What could be worse!
Doctor: Actually your baby is just a giant eyeball.
Mr. Smith: Oh my God – What could be worse? What could be worse!
Doctor: It’s blind.
Now think of velvet paints of Kim Il Jung or Jack Abramhof in terms of “What could be worse jokes….
Comment from Lemur King
Time: July 9, 2008, 2:06 pm
*snort* I like it Lokki.
I have a 3x size giant plastic rat with red eyes named Manny on my desk – is that too tacky to go with a velvet Kim Jong Il thingy?
McGoo, “velvetized” makes me think of Dennis Hopper in “Blue Velvet”. God, what a bizarre movie.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 9, 2008, 3:21 pm
Dennis Hopper: What a bizarre actor. But not as strange as Christopher Walkin. he is what strange is all about. I love it in the Prophecy movies where he sits on the chair backs – balancing perfectly. He had to have ad-lib’ed that.
Comment from Lemur King
Time: July 9, 2008, 3:36 pm
Also, Walken in “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead”… One of only three movies I have ever turned off because I couldn’t bear to watch any more of – too disturbing.
Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 9, 2008, 4:14 pm
I’ve always liked Walken and Hopper myself. However, if you want a truely BIZARRE movie, go rent BRAZIL. It was the only thing I have found that is truely worse than THIS IS SPINAL TAP.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 9, 2008, 4:39 pm
Ya’all are mentioning some the bottom-most layer of seriously disturbing movies. All of those are weird.
Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 9, 2008, 5:15 pm
McGoo, you could always go to youtube and search for “Deliverance, the musical”…..
Comment from BGG
Time: July 9, 2008, 5:15 pm
Holy cow, they’ve got Bat Boy, and a Sleestack in there! Did you notice the Jon Benet looked blue, sort of purplish? That was cringe-worthy.
If I was tacky enough to have a black velvet painting in my house, it would definitely be Bob, from the Church of the Subgenius.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 9, 2008, 6:00 pm
Ha! “Squeal like a pig! Whee!” – the musical refrain. Uh-oh…no, Muse! No! Bad Muse! Not now, not now! …
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 9, 2008, 7:13 pm
Trust you to spot the Sleestack, BGG. I almost used that as the post image, but Kim is an especial hate object.
Comment from XBradTC
Time: July 9, 2008, 7:45 pm
In the line of Karl Rove, who knew Scooter Libby was the real power in the White House until he got jacked up on charges? Seriously, when Bush was elected? The Big Red Button? They moved it to Scooter’s office.
Comment from Alice H
Time: July 9, 2008, 7:47 pm
yes, live cackling chickens. Put in his office as soon as he left his office the night before, so as to maximize the chicken mess.
Comment from iamfelix
Time: July 9, 2008, 11:40 pm
Stoaty: How did Charlotte fare with kitty dentistry?
Comment from Allen
Time: July 10, 2008, 1:26 am
Weasel, forgive me. I just had to steal the worm picture. Instead of it saying “gin” it will say “Tequila”
I sent it off to TJ to get it painted on velvet. I couldn’t resist.
Comment from Lemur King
Time: July 10, 2008, 11:51 am
Scubafreak – what was your take on “The Naked Lunch”? Egads.
Allen, are you serious? If you are, you need to post a picture of it when it is done. If you aren’t serious, tis a cruel jest.
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