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Officially: worse than Hitler!

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DAMN it! If you noticed the marked absence of Weasel today, it’s because I made the Internet Naughty List.

I thought it was just my local IT department noticing the suspicious stream of traffic going to one small weblog, but Enas says sweasel.com is blocked for him, too. The reason given him was “tasteless” — which, you know, I’d happily cop to if it weren’t for all the egregiously tastlesser stuff out there that isn’t on the list. Like, the whole rest of the Internet, not counting porn, guns and neo-Nazi sites. And I’m not positive about neo-Nazi sites.

Anybody know who I appeal to? Obviously, I can’t make inquiries at work — this would be an especially bad time to get my silky sable ass fired — but somebody somewhere must know how to work out what list your company is using.

If they think I’m going to knuckle under and do my job or some shit, they don’t know the meaning of “weasel.”


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 17, 2008, 4:11 pm

Well, it’s apparently not Secure Computing’s TrustedSource (which BoingBoing was complaining about a couple of years ago. I checked my URL through them, and they never hoid of me.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 17, 2008, 4:14 pm

It depends. Some companies define their own firewall policies, but most use one of several internet services that take reports of objectionable sites and add them to master lists for companies to use as a shortcut. You will need to find out which company that you and Enas are subject to, and address it directly with them.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: July 17, 2008, 4:26 pm

What? Enas is one of the tastiest guys I know!

I call shenanigans!

Comment from eddiebear
Time: July 17, 2008, 4:32 pm

Appeal to the Coast Guard.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 17, 2008, 4:38 pm

Yeah, Scubafreak, we buy a list. But I can’t ask questions to find which one — I don’t have any trusted contacts in IS any more. Surely someone has compiled a list. I’m getting some info on Google searches, but it’s a slog.

Comment from Steve Skubinna
Time: July 17, 2008, 4:42 pm

Well, you appeal to me.

What? Oh… sorry, never mind.

Comment from Dawn
Time: July 17, 2008, 5:28 pm

I poked my head in a while ago. I don’t know if I expected a welcome home parade, but someone at least give me a “Hello….Where the heck have you been?”

or sing I Will Survive acapella to me.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 17, 2008, 5:37 pm

Dawn! Welcome back! We were trying to be all low-key and casual and all, in case you were away for reasons that involved…parole officers or restraining orders or something.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 17, 2008, 6:20 pm

Yes, welcome back, Dawn.

Did you get any … umm.. interesting tattoos?

Comment from pajama momma
Time: July 17, 2008, 6:23 pm

tasteless? I think not. Weasel tastes delicious.

Comment from Mike
Time: July 17, 2008, 6:30 pm

I find your site appealing. However, I am pretty consarned tasteless myself, so that might be sort of damning with faint praise, I dunno.

Comment from Gabriel
Time: July 17, 2008, 6:51 pm

If it’d help, we can all stop cussing in the comments. Right guys? Uh, guys?


Comment from Dawn
Time: July 17, 2008, 7:27 pm

Stoaty and Uncle B – Life can just get real yucky sometimes….but I sure missed you guys. ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 17, 2008, 7:36 pm

Pff! Fuck that noise, Gabe.

If it’s any consolation, Dawn, we both noticed you were AWOL. We chatted about it. But you don’t post with an email addy, so we just had to wait and watch.

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 17, 2008, 8:41 pm

Hey – you guys stole my thunder! I was going to come and declare S.Weasel tasteless…. because Websense at my company told me so.

For what it’s worth, we use Websense

Website Information for LOKKIS COMPANY IT Security:
Category: Tasteless
URL: http://sweasel.com/
Date: 7/17/2008
Category: Tasteless
User Name: Lokki
Websense Info:

I guess it’s the price of fame, Weasel. You’re in good company now – is that Paris Hilton I see next to you?

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 17, 2008, 8:56 pm

Websense – yep that’s what we’ve got too. And I actually first noticed a problem yesterday when I hit cranky’s “Al’s Mighty Ferguson” link to poopreport.com. That’s the only thing I can think of Stoaty. Try unlinking it tonight and see if that helps.

Comment from Jill
Time: July 17, 2008, 11:21 pm

Harrumph! More like WebsenseLESS.

I agree with Her Stoatness – fuck that noise.

Comment from Gregory the First
Time: July 18, 2008, 12:37 am

Zero filtering at my company. None. I could even look up goatse.

In Malaysia. Quite an impressive thing, I would have thought.

Comment from porknbean
Time: July 18, 2008, 1:24 am

Welcome back Dawn. I actually noticed your little blurb when you made it, but got sidetracked from acknowledging it. Then I forgot. Sometimes senility is not a good thing. I hope you and your family are well. We were wondering where you went.

Got any stories of your time away? McGoo is in the process of moving, so not sure when he will be back. I thought he was going to try and get hooked up interwebby-wise this week….

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 18, 2008, 4:24 am

Websense! Thank you!

Ummm…now…do I dare contact them? I’m not exactly a legitimate business site — even if I’m not unusually tasteless.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 18, 2008, 6:20 am

…okay…headed to work…y’all play nice, now, y’hear?

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 18, 2008, 7:47 am

Smiling, we greet the rosy Dawn!
We’ve just been through a long and bitter night
An endless night of morbidness and tastelessness
But now – warm and beautiful Dawn returns!
And we anticipate a beautiful day
full of brightness and cheerfulness!
– Full of butterflies, pansies, and kittens!
See Websense and Court-ordered Psychologist?
We are normal happy people as we greet the long-awaited Dawn!

๐Ÿ™‚ See? Smiling!

Hi Dawn! Hi! We really are glad to see you!

Comment from Brian L.
Time: July 18, 2008, 8:08 am

I’m filing an appeal with WebSense right now. Hopefully, they’ll have it cleared up within 24 hours.


I had to do the same thing for IMAO a couple of months ago. Good ol’ corporate Internet goons for ya!

Anyone can sign up for an account at websense.com. Once you can log in, go to “Support” then go to “Site Lookup Tool”, and search for the domain you want to fix. You’ll get the form above – fill it out, and within 24 hours, they usually get it cleared up.

Look forward to seeing your site through the corporate firewall any day now. ๐Ÿ™‚


Comment from cranky
Time: July 18, 2008, 9:49 am

Al’s Mighty Ferguson is banned in Boston? That’s right Stoaty, just go ahead and flush me.


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: July 18, 2008, 11:07 am

I mentioned you absence a few times Dawn. Glad you’re back. How’s Brandon? Still got the rash?

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: July 18, 2008, 11:28 am

Welcome back, Dawn.

Ms. Weasel: does your company have a branch in the UK?

Comment from Michael
Time: July 18, 2008, 3:11 pm

Hey Dawn, welcome back sweetheart! Dang, I sure missed you. C’mon, give me a big hug.

*grabs Dawn’s ass*

(Actually, I’ve never heard of Dawn before.)

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 18, 2008, 3:47 pm

Bless your heart, Brian L.! I got as far as that form and chickened out, on account of I didn’t think they’d accept an obviously bogus name and address, I work for a company that uses their stuff, and I really shouldn’t oughta be running a blog from my desk.

Yes, Musli, but it won’t do me any good. Too far away, and they don’t really need what I do. I have managed to score a couple of extra trips that way over the years, though.

w00t, Michael. I think you just groped the preacher’s wife.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 18, 2008, 3:51 pm

Well! Somebody got here today with the Google search string “oscar wilde you’re a fucking weasel.”

I’m disappointed. I thought it said “oscar wilde you’re fucking a weasel,” which, for some reason, strikes me as way funnier. (The old joke, “wrap it in duct tape or it’ll split wide open” comes to mind).

Anyway. Yes, I’m the #1 hit for that. You hear that, net nannies? You call that tasteless? Fucking Oscar Wilde!

Comment from Gnus
Time: July 18, 2008, 4:23 pm

Tasteless? Well, I never…

But I always wanted to.

Hey, Dawn. WB

Comment from Dawn
Time: July 18, 2008, 6:58 pm

Michael sure seems to fit right in.
The good doctor gave me a little prescription to help me deal with my father’s passing. I started weaning myself off two weeks ago and dash it all, if I didn’t wake up yesterday morning wondering where in the heck the past few months went.
I would rather be crazy sad than numb any day!
Jail would have been far more interesting to explain my absence than “happy” pills.

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 18, 2008, 7:28 pm

Dawn –

I’m reading a book right now called “The Noonday Demon”, An Atlas of Depression”. You might find it interesting; I’m fascinated by it. It’s both a New York Times best seller and a National Book Award winner.

Rather than try to sum it up myself – Here’s the blurb they have (among many) from the Joyce Carol Oates for the New York Time Book review:

An exhaustively researched, provocative, and often deeply moving survey of depression…original and vividly recounted. Solomon writes engagingly; his style is intimate and ancedotal…witty and persuasive. Over all… The Nooday Demon is a considerable accomplishment. It is likely to provoke discussion and controversy, and its generous assortment of voices, from the pathological to the philosophical, makdes for rich, variegated reading.”

Best of all the book doesn’t have a review from Kirkus Reviews! They are my warning sign for Baaaaaad Boooks, bad!
Anybody know anything about them? They seem to be a ‘review for hire’ company – for-a-fee-we’ll-give-a-good-review-to- books-that-even-your-mother-didn’t-like kind of company.

Oh, and don’t go out with Michael… you can’t trust him. Me, on the other hand…. ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment from Dawn
Time: July 18, 2008, 7:50 pm

I went to amazon to read the reviews because I don’t trust the NYT.

“He describes a pharmaceutical company’s surreal stage production (involving Pink Floyd, kick dancers, and an opener ร  la Cats) promoting a new antidepressant to their sales team.”

Wow. Sounds like a weekend weasel to me.

Comment from Buffoon
Time: July 18, 2008, 7:51 pm

Dude, that pimp my news thing is pretty sweet…….. you should be able to pick a different voice though or maybe a small stripper in the bottom corner of the screen? Any ways, I still hate you because your blog is better than mine, see you at the playa haters ball!

Chapelle show, Chappele show, whaaaaowwwwahoooo

Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 18, 2008, 8:38 pm

What a priggish bunch of prisses the e-nannies are.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 18, 2008, 8:46 pm

Oh, and to all the priggish, prissy e-nannies out there: Suck my pustular, scabby, unwashed direct objects. I assure you, they will not be tasteless.

BTW: back when you could still download a file containing every registered domain name in the world (there were maybe 2 million the last time I did it), my favorite was blowmeandsuckmyass.com. Wonder how they’re doing.

Comment from apotheosis
Time: July 18, 2008, 11:07 pm

I regret to inform you that I, too, made this unpleasant discovery on my morning browse from work. Websense was the product, “tasteless” was the category, and thoroughly pissed off was me.

This is the same group of nitwits who blocked Steven Den Beste, Blackfive, and Emperor Misha. I’m sensing a pattern.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 18, 2008, 11:12 pm

If there’s anything more tasteful than Peanut Lady Fuck haiku, why, I’ll eat my hat.

Okay, I’ll give you booger haiku.

No. Wait. I already did that.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 19, 2008, 7:23 am

Did they get themselves unbanned, apotheosis? They must have done; I feel sure I’ve visited all three from work.

Hm. If there is a pattern, that’s very interesting. I know for damn sure I can reach the famous fever swamps of the Left (and, to be fair, most of the ones on the Right. It’s rare I get the big red hand for anything political).

I’ll bet it works on complaints. We know what whiners the other side can be, for all they think we’re a bunch of humorless Mrs Grundys.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 19, 2008, 7:55 am

Oh, that’s a tough one, Dawn. Me — after a respectful period of appropriate mourning — I’d rather be numb. But that’s the story of my liver, isn’t it?

Comment from Mr. Matamoros
Time: July 19, 2008, 1:14 pm

There I was, ready to visit your site (making my Internet rounds in the morning before I get down to work) and I find that your site is now blocked by company policy. I go, WTF? clicking a few times because I couldn’t believe that you, Weasel, could possibly get blocked…what am I going to do now? Wait until I get home to visit? That’s unacceptable…I need my Weasel fix at work!

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