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This is the best ass bruise you will see today

Londoner goes to a stag do in Poland, falls through table, is protected from grievous spinal cord injury by the wings of an angel, I guess.

Don’t mean to be running a nudity blog up in here but, you know, Britain is my beat, and so many silly things happen in Britain. Silly, naked things.

That item is from a free London paper called the Metro. Whenever we go to London, I always find a copy of it on the train, but they also have an online presence. Please join me in sampling the delights:

Lonely Serb rejected by 5,000 ladies of Facebook. For sale on eBay: uber creepy doll. Also on eBay: a set of six twigs found in London’s de Beauvoir Square.

Instead of picking it up, Sussex council paints its dogshit hot pink. Conjoined twins are always good. Soylent Beige. You probably shouldn’t click that. Come to that, you probably shouldn’t click this, either.

Just so you think it isn’t all tea parties and cucumber sandwiches over here.

p.s. Though we did go to a tea party this weekend, and there were cucumber sandwiches. So, sometimes it’s tea parties and cucumber sandwiches.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: May 13, 2014, 10:02 pm

Ain’t nothin’ wrong
If you wanna do tha butt

Comment from Deborah
Time: May 14, 2014, 1:13 am

Wait! Don’t skip over the important stuff! Tell us how to make proper cucumber sandwiches.

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: May 14, 2014, 2:36 am

Angel? I see a Beelzebub Benghazi Barak Obama crawling out of the nether world that dumped him on the world. Many there be who will fall on their knees and worship at the sight, like Christ on toast.

Comment from Nina
Time: May 14, 2014, 2:42 am

Yes, I need to know about cucumber sandwiches, too.

Comment from Davem123
Time: May 14, 2014, 5:03 am

I agree with twolane. It looks more demonic than angelic. The kind of thing you would expect to find if you pantsed Harry Reid, Pelosi or Hillary.

Sorry for the visual on that. At least we can feast our eyes on our choice of the cuties with the ping pong paddles in the prior post.

Comment from Bob
Time: May 14, 2014, 5:06 am

Prolly wouldn’t have fallen in the first place if that demon hadn’t poked him.

Comment from mojo
Time: May 14, 2014, 7:09 am

If he notices eyes growing on his shoulders and such, he should probably see a doctor. Or an exorcist. Possibly both.

These cucumber sammiches, they were the crust less variety, one assumes?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 14, 2014, 9:45 am

Oh, I think it’s just white bread with the crusts cut off, in triangles, with butter (Brits use butter on sammiches instead of mayo) and thin slices of cuke.

They aren’t bad, but it’s pretty thin going for a sammich.

Comment from Deborah
Time: May 14, 2014, 1:10 pm

That’s all? Thin, indeed.
I hope there’d be some Devonshire cream on them, too. 🙁

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: May 14, 2014, 2:36 pm

Of course they’re a bit thin, they’re just a little something to tide you over until the 9pm doner kebab & chip butty GI destruction tsunami rolling at you at 240mph from over the horizon.

& now I’m hungry again.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 14, 2014, 5:01 pm

So who guessed H.R. Giger in the dead pool?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 14, 2014, 5:53 pm

Nobody. He was relatively young and healthy. A fall in the home, I believe.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 14, 2014, 6:03 pm

I like cucumber sandwiches. They’re not the most filling things, but wherever they are in evidence there is a fighting chance that the selection of horses’ doovers will also include (inter alia) prawn vol-au-vents; Coronation Chicken; miniature Melton Mowbray pork pies; cheese-and-pineapple on cocktail sticks in a foil-covered potato; Ritz crackers with Philadelphia and lumpfish caviar; sausage rolls — in which case, result! It’s amazing how much scran you can hoover up at some dos.

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: May 14, 2014, 7:16 pm

The spam filter failed huh? So we’re up to our asses in…well, ass pron.

Comment from Can’t Hark My Cry
Time: May 14, 2014, 8:08 pm

I’m really sort of hoping that is the /only/ ass bruise I see today!

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: May 14, 2014, 10:52 pm

Cucumber sandwiches are much better with Sriracha.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 16, 2014, 4:10 am

I do believe this is a first. I mean that in all sincerity.

A Rorschach Ass Bruise Test.

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