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…and then there’s this…

Today was a misty, mizzly, miserable sort of day. It precipitated: something more than fog but something less than rain. We did our weekly shop then set out in search of lunch.

I’ll be honest with you, we stopped Mickey D’s first. But the school holidays are on so the place was chock full of screaming children. Um, no.

So we went on to an old pub not far away. We’ve been in this one many times, but we’re not regulars and we heard it’s under new management. When we walked in, honest to god it was like a Hammer film. You know the scene, where strangers walk into a country pub and all conversation stops and grizzly old men squint at them over pints of beer? That one.

Being the smooth social operator that I am, I gibbered, “Oh my gawd, this is like a Hammer film, where strangers walk into a country pub…”

Turns out, it’s not new management, it’s old management. The man who owns the place and has rented it to a series of wannabes has taken it on again to build the business back up. He came and sat by the fire (see crappy cellphone photo of fire) and all the old boys told us spooky stories about the pub.

He told us about a wounded smuggler being brought in to have his injuries dressed (this was — and is — a *big time* smuggling area, beginning in the 18th C. Before that, it was piracy). And a notorious and probably fictional murder on a bridge nearby. We’d heard of that one.

More recently, there was the neighbor up the hill who had 17 children. All their water came from a big rainwater butt. One day, the man next door disappeared. Three days later, they find him drowned in the water butt with his pockets full of nuts and bolts. Suicide by fresh water supply. Pretty unneighborly, if you ask me.

And the bloke who tried to kill himself with a humane killer. My advice, don’t Google it. It’s a sort of gun barrel with one round in it. Put it against an animal’s head and hit it with a hammer, bang. So he put it against his own forehead, swung, missed and smacked himself in the eye with the hammer. A sort of happy ending. Well, we laughed.

There was the inevitable pub ghost. All it did was move a chair and smell like rotten eggs, though, so I wasn’t impressed.

Also, the food wasn’t bad and the beer was excellent. All in all, a most convivial way to spend an English afternoon.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 29, 2014, 9:26 pm

Also, he told us in the last war, they used to debrief members of the Special Operations Executive in the pub. Well worth a Google, if the name is unfamiliar.

I don’t know if it’s true, but there was some very heavy stuff that went on in this area during the war. This general area is where the French have always landed and where the Germans were likely to, so some of the old boys out this way were quietly trained to fuck shit up. Or so we’ve been told.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: October 29, 2014, 9:47 pm

Pig stunner? Captive bolt gun? What a way to (fail to) go!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 29, 2014, 10:06 pm

The pub didn’t have a pentagram painted on the wall anywhere, did it?

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: October 29, 2014, 10:18 pm

I want that job, “fuck shit up.” I already already qualify as an enthusiastic amateur.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: October 30, 2014, 12:20 am

I can’t think of a better way to spend a misty cool fall afternoon than slowly eating and drinking the time away with a bunch of clever old boys , listening to their well-oiled and practiced stories which are usually damn close to true.

A nice fire, a tasty brown ale, something warm with a it of grease in it, and a tale to listen to. Heaven? Well, damn close. Add a big wet dog by the fire and you have it all.

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: October 30, 2014, 12:51 am

Is McDonalds in the UK as blah as it is back here in the States? Flavorless and overpriced?

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: October 30, 2014, 4:19 am

But did they warn you to stay off the moors? Or welcome you to a special festival involving wicker and bees?

Comment from mojo
Time: October 30, 2014, 7:02 am

The Slaughtered Lamb

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: October 30, 2014, 10:07 am

I have most of the makings for a fire box like that one. I’ll have to convince my son, the better welder, to come over. A burnt offering of moo cow should do the trick.

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: October 30, 2014, 10:17 am

After all these years here I finally discover that I can make the masthead weasel run. Run weasel, run. Being of feeble mind, I hovered my rodent over it to see how long it took to make weasel tongue hang out. It is, however, quite fit.

Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: October 30, 2014, 12:43 pm

If on your next visit you see somebody who looks like David Naughton, run! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082010/?ref_=nm_ov_bio_lk3

Comment from Armybrat
Time: October 30, 2014, 3:45 pm

Mumbles Menino died today. I believe the dick is mine.

Comment from tibby
Time: October 30, 2014, 3:47 pm

Oh Mr. Dave! One of my favorite pass times when visiting the weez site…Gets me giggling every time!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 30, 2014, 4:02 pm

Aha! I was just trying to remember who always picked Mumbles Menino.

You do indeed win the dick, Armybrat.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 30, 2014, 4:07 pm

I had originally planned to make everything on the blog animate when moused over, but it turns out WordPress and Flash don’t play well together. It was so hard to get that one thing to work, I gave up.

Now, of course, Flash isn’t supported on a lot of devices and I don’t own a copy anyway.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 30, 2014, 6:55 pm

McDonalds is pretty much McDonalds the world over I understand, cousin Scott. Pricewise, it’s not so bad here in the UK – but food generally here is very expensive compared with the States.

I always preferred Wendy’s among the burger chains but they packed up and went home.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: October 30, 2014, 7:07 pm

Masthead weasel-gif only runs for me whilst looking at the Comments-stream page for a specific entry, but that’s o.k., an added incentive to look at Comments streams, I calls it…

RE: This delightful-looking li’l snuggery and its menu, plus the previously-posted-upon Route 1066 Cafe and its alleged “culinary delight standards” – I cannot state, personally, the availability (or lack thereof) of a right-an’-proper quality burger within the environs of the U.K.-proper. However, I’ve been, in the past, rather reliably informed by others with whom I have worked that such availability, while possible, is highly dubious at best. I have had personal experience in attempting the discovery of such a comestible in much of Germany and some of France, however – and have come up woefully short.

Sad, that is – especially when one considers that, after all, it is/was a city in Germany that lent its very name to one of the most delightful configurations of edible ground meat (when properly prepared) in Human History – The Hamburger!

In short: You cannot get a (decently-good) hamburger in Hamburg.

Should you find yourself in the Northern suburbs/exurbs of Detroit, MI for some reason, however – check in on a truly delightful establishment called The Redcoat Tavern, and indulge. You will NOT find a finer iteration of the subject in all the land…”merely” a bar-with-food (and it very nice fire-side, as well) – but…burger heaven, mine friends.

Comment from drew458
Time: October 30, 2014, 8:34 pm

JSB – shockwave weasel works that way for me too. Comments only, not main page. Odd. Firefox browser, Win 7.

Mr Dave – do you know the wheels spin ’round on the APC in the header over at sondrakistan? Not as much fun tho.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 30, 2014, 8:57 pm

No, no…that’s perfectly normal. The masthead weasel on the front page is an entirely different graphic. It’s slightly more refined. The interior one with the animation is a bit simplified. Size reasons.

This is all down to me wrestling with WordPress under the hood.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 30, 2014, 9:02 pm

It is possible to get a decent burger in the UK. But it’s hard. Damn hard.

Comment from scottthebadger
Time: October 31, 2014, 8:52 am

While bars have good burgers, where they reakky shine here in WI, is steak sandwiches.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: October 31, 2014, 1:29 pm

Hey Uncle Badger, wait til 5 Guys comes to the UK! I daresay they might be worth a trip to the states.

Comment from Carl
Time: October 31, 2014, 9:09 pm

Bob, 5 Guys has arrived in the UK. There are 5 branches in London alone. I have heard good reports of them.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: November 1, 2014, 12:54 pm

Watch out for their fries. (chips)

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