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Browsing the news tonight, I was struck by how much Debbie Wasserman Schultz resembles the goat from yesterday’s post (note: may have been slightly ‘shopped to emphasize goatiness). Ordinarily, I might feel bad that Debbie Wasserman Schultz looks like a goat, but she’s a really horrible person. So, actually, on the whole, I feel pretty good that Debbie Wasserman Schultz looks like a goat.

This afternoon, Uncle B and I were discussing a woman we know who has a really tragic case of resting bitchface. Also, she’s unpleasant. But we were debating whether she’s really unpleasant, or whether bitchface makes her seem unpleasant, or whether walking around with tragic bitchface has made her actually become unpleasant.

We’re philosophical like that.

So I told him the story of this guy I knew when I was a wee slip of a weasel. He was a good-looking guy, in a cute boy-next-door way. He was a little dim, with a sunny, outgoing personality. A pleasant guy to be around.

Then he smashed himself up in a car accident. They put him back together, but he totally looked like a thing that had been put back together. Hollow cheeks, mad staring eyes. In a word, creepy.

But did he really become creepy after that? He seemed to. Or was he the same sunny, happy guy in a creepy shell? Or did the stigma of living with a creepy face make him creepy? It’s so hard to see past basic biology.

Still, we have the whole weekend to figure it out.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 20, 2015, 9:25 pm

I would like to congratulate Bobbi Kristina Brown for living another week and depriving Drew of dick.

Comment from bds
Time: February 20, 2015, 9:53 pm

Yeah. I think that picture needs a trigger warning. Not that you’re wrong, just . . . yikes.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: February 20, 2015, 10:20 pm

All these years, I’ve been vaguely perplexed by Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s looks. She reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t figure it out. Now I’ll never forget: Gen. George Armstrong Custer. Worth noting is that Custer was the goat of his 1861 class at West Point.

Comment from Ben
Time: February 20, 2015, 10:49 pm

She looks like Chelsea Clinton in drag.

Comment from buffalone
Time: February 20, 2015, 11:40 pm

She has chameleon eyes.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 20, 2015, 11:54 pm

Her eyes are terribly asymmetrical, buff…but p’raps not quite THAT asymmetrical.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 21, 2015, 1:16 am

Yeah, Stoaty. Drew has been dick’ed enough. I think he should eschew dick for a while.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: February 21, 2015, 1:24 am

I’ll tell ya, if I came outside & she was perched on top of ma’s Buick trying to eat the tennis ball off the FM stereo antenna she’d get a taste of the old “pony-be-good” zapper.

Comment from catnip
Time: February 21, 2015, 4:06 am

Unfortunately for Wasserman Schultz, the goat is much better looking.

Comment from beasn
Time: February 21, 2015, 5:15 am

If the guy you knew was in a bad enough accident that they had to put him back together, he looked like it, and acted like it, he probably smacked his head hard enough to scramble his noodle to creepy.

Comment from beasn
Time: February 21, 2015, 5:19 am

I don’t feel too bad for a goat if Debbie looks like one. Once they’re adult-sized, they’re asking to be sacrificed. It’s the eyes. Creepy, demonic, eyes. Like Debbie.

Comment from Caliban
Time: February 21, 2015, 6:23 am

Weenie, you are the BEST

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: February 21, 2015, 6:53 am

Oh my. That is absolutely horrific.

Comment from mojo
Time: February 21, 2015, 7:55 am

Goats have weird eyes, like an octopus’ eyes. Bipolar pupils, I think they call it. Probably accounts for their inherent evilness.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: February 21, 2015, 1:12 pm

DWS would not be any worse a senator for Florida than either of the two maggots that currently “represent” us. Billy Nelson has clearly been sewage for years, and dear ol’ Marco showed his true colors when he was part of the Immigration Gang of 8 the other year. May they all soon burn in hell where they belong.

We will NOT “vote our way out” of this sewer.

Comment from F X Muldoon
Time: February 21, 2015, 1:22 pm

Schnikes – so that is what happened to Maynard G Krebs when he got older.

Brava !

Comment from F X Muldoon
Time: February 21, 2015, 1:24 pm

Well that didn’t work – Maynard in his youthful glory.


Comment from Randy Rager
Time: February 21, 2015, 7:27 pm

What a terrible thing to say! Goats are awesome. And tasty. Nothing like Democrats.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 22, 2015, 12:50 am

I thought Maynard G. Krebs wandered off to live on a tiny desert island?

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: February 22, 2015, 7:08 am

Maynard got his middle name from his Aunt Walter, so, of course, the ‘G’ is silent.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: February 22, 2015, 4:04 pm

A bunny trail: I interviewed Bob Denver once. He was performing at a dinner theater in the regional “big city,” and was visiting the area newspapers in the smaller cities to drum up interest. The interview was a dud (my lack of skill) but the photo I took of him was one of my best ever. I shot him in Tri-X Pan 400 using a red filter, beside of huge window of strong north light. He was smoking a cigarette, and the smoke had wreathed around his head, and his face was all crags and furrows. But the light came through his eyes from the side making them bright and luminous. I sure miss black and white film.

Comment from Randy Rager
Time: February 22, 2015, 6:26 pm

It seems to be “Make fun of DWS’ appearance week”. Saw something recently comparing her to carp. Not seeing the resemblance.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: February 22, 2015, 8:53 pm

Merely was a typo, Randy Rager. They didn’t intend to compare her to “carp”. They accidentally reversed the “a” and the “r”. Surely you do see the resemblance there, do you not? And that’s just one more thing she has in common with the Muslim in Chief. After all, the flies are especially attracted to him. And if there’s one thing flies know and love…

Comment from Davem123
Time: February 22, 2015, 11:07 pm

Debora HH – On this blog you can’t wax poetic about a photo like that and then not post a link to it. It’s in the rules.

Comment from Nina
Time: February 23, 2015, 2:50 am

And if it isn’t in the rules, it needs to be!

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: February 23, 2015, 3:55 am

No evidence remains; it was almost 30 years ago.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: February 23, 2015, 8:56 am

From such a face and form as mine the noblest sentiments sound like the black utterances of a depraved imagination. It is human nature – I am resigned.

— Dick Deadeye, the “villain” in HMS Pinafore.

Comment from MikeW
Time: February 23, 2015, 2:54 pm

Eesh! Whenever her grizzled visage appears above a blog post on Ace of Spades or elsewhere, I always have to scroll that nasty mess off the screen before I can read the post. Heebie Frickin’ Jeebies!

Your PS above though… the lower half of her face is totally Howie Mandel. Little wonder he’s always creeped me out more than a bit, too.

Comment from drew458
Time: February 23, 2015, 4:52 pm

Thank you, Miss Weasel. And yet another day goes by, and still no dick for me. It’s been more than 3 weeks now I think, and she’s still only mostly dead. Mostly. And now we have the utterly unsurprising news that she was a drugged up boozer, full of heroin and cocaine, with numerous trips to rehab in the past couple years. Gosh, really? Acorn much?

Too bad you don’t have a Zombie Popsicle award as well, a kind of runner-up thing for championship Waiting for Reality to Set In sort of situations like this.

OTOH, I am glad to give every one ample opportunity to make all the Can’t Get Any Dick jokes they can think of.

I get the feeling Zsa Zsa will kick the bucket before this one is allowed to cross over.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 24, 2015, 12:35 am

Drew – a line from Wizard of Oz comes to mind:

Not only is she nearly dead,
She’s almost – not quite! – merely dead.

…or something like that.

Comment from drew458
Time: February 24, 2015, 6:17 am

Princess Bride paraphrase perhaps?
“She’s been mostly dead all day!”

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: February 26, 2015, 8:24 pm

Steamboat: the line is

As Coroner I must aver,
I thoroughly examined her,
And she’s not only merely dead,
She’s really most sincerely dead!

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