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Oh, grandma!

In the previous thread, geoff axed for a P’shop of Hillary and the iconic phone. Happy to oblige, but I couldn’t come up with anything better than riffing on her pretend inability to comprehend the cellphone. I’ve got all the bits and pieces still open, if you can think of a better take.

Seriously, did they believe this one would fly? Like, “c’mon, honey — you know grandma can’t operate simple modern gadgets. But you still want her for President of the United States in 2016, right?”

Some of these errors are so awful and unforced, you have to wonder what the Clintons are playing at. Whether they know she can’t win, but they’ve decided to swing the big Clinton dick around and ruin 2016 for their party, because…fuck you, we’re the Clintons.

I can honestly see that bunch of sociopaths doing that.

Oh, here you go, Deborah — my big color Hillary! 2016 poster, the little black and white witchy one, plus some assorted Hillary ‘shops.


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: March 11, 2015, 9:29 pm

She must get a little uglier with each obscenely transparent lie.

The woman is beyond shameless.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 11, 2015, 9:42 pm

There ain’t a single Dim frontrunner I’d even consider voting for with a gun to my head, the Stupid Party™ will run Jebba, & hopefully I’ll be well out of the country by the time all of that comes round anyway.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: March 11, 2015, 10:40 pm

Hillary says that she can’t handle two cell phones, it being too hard.


Also, it was noted elsewhere that if she needs two cell phones to handle 2 email accounts, does she have to have 300 TV’s to handle her cable lineup?

Comment from JeffS
Time: March 11, 2015, 10:45 pm

Hillary says she can’t operate two phones, but wants us voters to give her the launch codes for the nuclear arsenal.

Uh huh.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: March 12, 2015, 12:05 am

Between Hillary-ous and Imgur’s progressive circle jerk, I can’t stand the Internet today.

Didn’t someone make a Tumblr devoted to the supposed witticisms flowing from her blackberry texting, a couple years back? I seem to recall that the Internet practically wet itself when Herself commented on it.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: March 12, 2015, 12:13 am

Thank you Stoaty. I may, uh, misbehave 😉

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: March 12, 2015, 1:13 am

My doctor, who also drives a Tesla by the way, told me Monday that he will still vote for Hillary because, “there is no one else” and we don’t need another Bush, and -Ted Cruz, really?”

Sadly, I agree about with him about Bush and Cruz. However who else has a chance to get to the election?

The Dems really don’t have anyone besides Hillary to offer, so Hillary it will be for them. Remember that more than 50% of Democratic voters can’t or don’t read the news anyway, so they will vote for her irregardless.

TL/DR: I will probably be vacationing out of the country during the Nov 16 election, using all the money I will have drawn out of my bank accounts

Comment from mojo
Time: March 12, 2015, 3:30 am

My theory: Hey, I’m allowed.

The Obama crew wanted to get Hillary into the admin, on the basis of LBJ’s old saw about “better to have them inside the tent pissing out” – once she’s part of it, she can’t really do much criticizing without looking disloyal.

Then she sets up her own email server, against all regs. The Obamas can’t believe their luck, and happily ignore it, giving her full freedom.

(Probably, she was more afraid of the admin getting her mail than any hacker. It’s the only logical reason to forego the security routing through .gov servers would provide.)

She spends her time as SS raising huge cash “donations” to the family slush fund, using the “I’m next” brag to sell the power link.

Anyway, Hilly later resigns as SS, and starts campaigning. Suddenly, the (get this) NY Times blows the lid off her email server. Gowdy will want it, she knows.

Now, what’s she going to do? She can’t give it up, she’d never see the outside of a prison cell again. Better to brazen it out, delete all incriminating evidence and stand pat. Dare them to jail you.

But kiss off any chance of being Prez. Obama mission accomplished. My only question: how much did Bill help?

Comment from Nina
Time: March 12, 2015, 4:10 am

Sounds about right to me, mojo.

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: March 12, 2015, 6:00 am

The Clintons (Saudi) vs the Jarretts (Iranian)

Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 12, 2015, 11:37 am

Oh come on, SWeas. You surely could have come up with this:

Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 12, 2015, 11:39 am

Or even better, this one:


(That would be “Not Safe For Lunch”)

Comment from JeffS
Time: March 12, 2015, 2:46 pm

My only question: how much did Bill help?

Bill probably gave the plan to Obama.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: March 12, 2015, 5:33 pm

Mojo – I like your theory. It explains why the NYT was the one to break the story, and why Bill’s spokesman says Bill has only sent two emails in his life.

Comment from mojo
Time: March 12, 2015, 6:56 pm

Bill is Mr. Prime Suspect. No way in hell he wanted his (effectively – hdr?) ex-wife sitting in the big chair. He’d rather die, probably. Certainly he wouldn’t enjoy being “First Gentleman” at all, at all.

He probably arranged the tech support. Big tipper, Mr. Bill, or so I hear.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: March 12, 2015, 7:28 pm

Some of these errors are so awful and unforced, you have to wonder what the Clintons are playing at. Whether they know she can’t win, but they’ve decided to swing the big Clinton dick around and ruin 2016 for their party, because… fuck you, we’re the Clintons.

I don’t think they’re capable of thinking they could lose. Too much ego, too many flatterers feeding it.

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: March 12, 2015, 7:30 pm

Don’t forget that the longer she’s running or at least looks like she’s running, the longer the money flows.

Comment from surly
Time: March 12, 2015, 9:29 pm

Bummer, Sir Terry Pratchett has passed.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 12, 2015, 10:58 pm

I hate to break this to you, mojo, but Slick would LUV to see Thunder Rodent Thighs as El Presidente. That way he could spend all his time “screening” the White House interns.

Comment from mojo
Time: March 12, 2015, 11:31 pm

Anon: Oh, yeah, with Hilly’s myrmidons watching his every move, right.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 13, 2015, 12:18 am

Why should she care? Do you think he has TOUCHED her in the entire time they have been “married”??? Do you think he hasn’t been “doin’ his thang” every day since he left the White House? Who’s actually gonna DO anything to him? Is “Weepy” gonna impeach the First “Lady”? As long as he only does those who are over the age of consent, WHO is gonna take any action at all?

Come on, get real!

Comment from mojo
Time: March 13, 2015, 2:54 am

Fort Mercy Park.

Pingback from S. Weasel vs. Hillary | Innocent Bystanders
Time: March 13, 2015, 3:23 pm

[…] you can see the results of SWeasey’s efforts here. Share this:StumbleUponRedditLike this:Like […]

Comment from Backwardsboy
Time: March 13, 2015, 3:34 pm

TV Channel won’t change.

Comment from thefritz
Time: March 13, 2015, 3:38 pm

AceofspadesHQ http://ace.mu.nu/ has a link to you in the sidebar so expect a spike in moron visits….

Comment from thefritz
Time: March 13, 2015, 3:42 pm


O dear God how do I erase that from my eyes????

Comment from Kirk
Time: March 13, 2015, 3:46 pm

“Where’s the BIG TEXT setting?!!?”

Comment from krakatoa
Time: March 13, 2015, 3:47 pm

What if I told you…

There was no Benghazi?

Comment from SDN
Time: March 13, 2015, 3:56 pm

Oh, the latest horrifying theory is that Obama has decided to clear Hillary out of the way so Michelle can run as his “third term”.

Comment from geoff
Time: March 13, 2015, 4:41 pm

“All those emails sure do weigh this thing down.”

Comment from David
Time: March 13, 2015, 4:45 pm

Somewhere in an attic, near a server computer hosting an email domain, and covered by a rotting linen drape, is a portrait physically reflecting more and more spiritual corruption by the day.

Comment from runningrn
Time: March 13, 2015, 5:14 pm

I think that this does set things up nicely for The Mooch! Those grifters will have to be pried out of the WH, despite her claims that she hates it there so much. With Hillary’s current woes, and the MFM so suddenly curiously curious, this paves the way for Moochie to become our next Precedent–first BLACK FEMALE and dispenses with the formality of running for Diane Fienstein’s Senate seat. She won’t even have to follow that path her husband did–2 years in the Senate then start campaigning for Precedent. That was the original plan (why Oprah relocated her fat butt to CA). Now with Hillary imploding, they can skip that part. The platform will be “Right winged racists want to undo all my husband’s hard work. I cannot allow that to happen. Stand with me to protect Barak’s legacy. I’ve already proven that I can work with Congress on policy because “Healthy Choices” and “School Lunches”. I am also a veteran of the Health Care industry. My work with military families proves I have the compassion and the mettle to be an effective Commander in Chief. I’m a lawyer, I’m a woman, I’m a wife, and a mother, but most importantly, I’m Black! Vote for me! Don’t let them lynch my husband!

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: March 14, 2015, 12:50 am

What I want to know is: why doesn’t her aide use her husband’s last name?

“Huma Weiner” has a ring to it…

Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 14, 2015, 11:29 am

Because she is Muslim to the core, Timothy S. Carlson, and her husband is not. I mean, come on now! Can you REALLY imagine Huma servicing Thunder Rodent Thighs with that ten-foot vibrating pole unless her Imam ordered her to do so? Sure, there are SOME jobs that REAL Americans simply will not do. And that is indeed one of them. But there are still some jobs that even third-world people will not touch. Unless they are told to do so under penalty of death…

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