sweasel.com

I just listened to Sarah Palin’s radio address.

Senator McCain also promises to use the power of veto in defense of the public interest — and as a chief executive [poke-poke, twist], I can assure you it works. In a McCain-Palin administration, we’ll pursue a pro-growth agenda focused on creating jobs and reducing the tax burden. And with a maverick in the White House, Republicans are going to reclaim our good name as the party of spending discipline.

Our opponent in this election supports plans to raise taxes on income, payroll, investment income, business income, and altogether would increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars. But ask yourself: If you’re trying to run a small business, or to keep your job at a plant, or keep a small farm in the family, how are you going to be better off if he adds a massive tax burden to the American economy?

Oh, Baby, you know what turn Weasel on…

Whoa! That MP3 link won me a trip to my own Spam filter.

I better think about maid service…

Here’s the thing…right before and while I am coming down with a fresh cootie, I get depressed. That is one big flag to my upcoming doom as I am not one to depression.
So thank you very much the widowed turkey story. *sniff* No, let me cry that a little louder *SNIFF*!! You are too unkind (as Ann’s sister proclaims in ‘Persuasion’. )
Poor little bastards. Maybe you guys need to reconfigure your lobby. Like put in a turkey door or escape hatch. This isn’t the first turkey story you have told.

Though you do get a few points for talking to it.

My boss goes to the gym every morning at five. His house abuts one of my favorite state forests. Many mornings, there is a turkey in the road. It just *stands* there. He honks and yells and it’s, like, “what?”

The best antidote to stories about turkeys is getting to know turkeys.

My mom and I threw a net over an errant Canada goose once, in the Seventies when they were still endangered. Poor bastard was all tuckered out, so we put him in a cage and fed him for a couple of weeks.

MAN that boy gave us a run for our money. He kept charging us and hissing. We were laughing and falling down in the grass and trying not to get our asses honked by a giant enraged goose.

Last we saw of him, he was *walking* South.

My sister lives on a farm and they have a couple of turkeys. Last weekend we were having an outside BBQ and the male turkey came up to see what was going on. I was laughing about something when the turkey started gobbling. Every time I laughed he got closer to me and would gobble at me. Sure enough, the female turkey came over and was pissed and almost attacked me! My brother-in-law shooed them away. I was surprised to find out that my laugh is a turkey mating call! Who knew?!

I don’t know what that means, Wendy, but it can’t be good.

What say ye, Uncle B. Is this for real, or a famous fake?

CEDARBURG, Wisc. — Hundreds of angry people in this small town outside Milwaukee taunted reporters and TV crews traveling with Sen. John McCain on Friday, chanting “Be fair!” and pointing fingers at a pack of journalists as they booed loudly.

On the first leg of the “McCain Street USA” tour — which will take the Republican presidential nominee and his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, to small towns across the heartland — the 30 or so reporters and crew were walking back to their buses to join the McCain motorcade when hundreds of townspeople started yelling.

“Stop lying! You are all liars! Tell the truth!” one woman yelled from the front of the pack.

The crowd was not menacing or threatening, but was clearly angry.

The natives are restless. From the Washingont Times, so grain of salt and all.

Has anybody ever worked out whether being owned by Moon has any editorial effect on the paper? It’s not one of my favorite sources, in part because that association leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I think Wesley Pruden is a pretty straight shooter, but I find the Moon association bothersome too.

Good grief, Weasel, WTF are you reading now?!

Love the reply, though 😉

Funny, I was watching Sarah’s acceptance speech on the tee vee, and found myself screaming at it. Instead of the usual vile curses and threats of a rain of bricks onto the electronics, I found myself yelling, “Yeah! That’s it!” and “Now, stick it in his eye! Now twist it! Atta Girl.”

Most refreshing to be happy with my tee vee again, if only until the analysts got started. We takes our pleasures where we finds ’em, I suppose.

Poor, sad turkeys…cheer them up with a little dressing and cranberry sauce.

🙂

Heh. Opportunistic bastards. I just got off the phone with an NRA fundraiser. I love the NRA, but they bug the SHIT out of me asking for money every few weeks. If they hit me up once or twice a year, I’d probably give them something. As it is, they get my panties in a wad.

Worse, their tactics are insulting. They asked me if I wanted to take a “survey,” then they played a message from LaPierre, then they asked me some “questions” — like, did it make me mad when Obama called me a bitter clinger.

I’m sitting there the whole time thinking, “geez, you guys. It’s a fundraising call. Can we cut the reindeer games?” Then they asked me for seventy five bucks!

As it happens, they’re shit out of luck. I just talked to my real estate agent, who wants to come down ANOTHER 20% on my already bargain basement price. Now we’re getting into break even territory. Plus, I’ve tried three times since I renewed my membership to switch my address to Badger House. I paid extra for the international shipping and everything.

So, no. On the whole, no.

Turkeys are mean stupid birds. I once came across a little “conga line” of them coming out of the trees into a corn field. I had a good shot so I dropped the first big tom. The others didn’t scatter like you might expect. One of the other toms ran up and started strutting and stomping on the crumpled corpse. I shot him too. I hate opportunists.

A friend of the family accepted an offer 25K off his asking price. That sold the house, but he is not celebrating until the inspection is done and the papers signed.

Swease, would it be worth renting it out, instead of trying to sell it?

Where did you find that letter Weas? I’m fairly sure it’s from Viz magazine. It’s a pisstake of those ‘Dear so and so’ letters you get in the advice columns of tabloids.

For people not familiar with Viz, may I suggest Roger’s Profanisaurus, your one-stop shop for toilet, sex and genital euphemisms.

http://www.viz.co.uk/

I looked into it a few years back, TI. It just wouldn’t work. Not least of which, because I don’t really have the financial reserves to float it for any length of time between tenants. Lack of financial reserves is why this ouches so hard.

I was just on one of those jokey picture forums, Gibby. You’ve seen most of ’em a thousand times. I hadn’t seen this one before:

Which is cute, even if you don’t believe in globular warmening.

Wow. That was in color. I accidentally put it through the black and whitifier.

Yeah, plus having to deal w/ pesky tenants.

I think the big bloomers are cute, but would never wear them. They are highly likely to get ‘backsplash’. Would never wear a thong either as I don’t like things in my crack.

Hey, B! It’s drinkin’ time!
My cable internet is having some kind of DNS crisis.
I’m telnetted in, using Lynx. I got mail, too.
What I don’t got is web.
Well, I’ve got it very, very slowly. Like a couple bytes at a time.
Sorry if the formatting is screwy. Remember Lynx?
Call you on the fone later if this doesn’t clear up…

HAHAHA. That question & answer were CLASSIC.

When we were in high school, my best friend and I dared each other to buy thongs. Neither of us would back down, so grimly embarrassed, we went to some clothing store (I forget which one), picked out matching thongs, and, still grimly embarrassed, bought them at the counter, where we got a peculiar look from the young (male) cashier. We then drove home in grim embarrassment.

I still have that thing stuffed in the back of an underwear drawer somewhere. I wore it twice. It was excessively uncomfortable. (I wore it a second time because I thought I might have been exaggerating the discomfort the first time. I wasn’t.) Going commando is actually way more comfortable.

um, not that I know that from experience or anything.

*looks around furtively*

And yes, I totally remember Lynx. And Pine.

Whaddya mean, Mrs P? I’m disappointed. I would’ve thought you knew at least a little something about car engines.

I’m back. I rebooted and it fixed it. Which is stupid because I tried DHCP release and renew, and repair, several times. And a reboot didn’t work when this happened yesterday.

Oh, well.

For all we know it could be the evolution of men’s underwear, particularly among a certain demographic.

I’m so excited by Palin. She’s energized Republicans like no other!

I posted this over at The Hostages, but thought some of you might like this: New Math by Bo Burnham.

Bo! I remember him!

“…squaring numbers is just like women…if they’re under 13, you do ’em in your head…”

Funny kid.

He’s awesome. I bought his EP off of iTunes.

More of his stuff here.

Do listen to “i’m bo yo”. I’ve listened to it more than a dozen times, and every time I listen to it, I “get” something new. Very punny and very witty.

He and his music and words remind me very much of Steven Lynch.

Considering your previous jobs, thought you might get a kick out of this, Ms. Weasel.

(I’m somewhat amused that to produce a video about the Bible, they’re dressing up like LDS missionaries.)

Bo, yo! That’s the one I remember. I linked it, I know. I wish he’d publish transcripts, so’s I could study the original texts.

The bible in a minute guys…did they have anything to do with the sixty-second Shakespeare guys? Or was it the American History guys…? I took Uncle B on his birthday once, and we laughed our weasels off…

I don’t recall Barats and Bereta doing anything-else-in-a-minute. Maybe they do it in their live shows, but I haven’t seen any references along those lines. They’re a good duo anyway. Been together since college.

Speaking of comedy, I really like America for this reason. Comedy happens everywhere. Palin’s “What’s the difference between hockey moms and pitbulls? Lipstick!” was so typical. Foreigners are insufferably serious. In all of the Pakistani political speeches I have heard and watched, not once has the speaker (whether Bhutto, Nawaz Sharif, Zia-ul-Haq, or Musharraf) made a single joke.

In our Church General Conferences, most of the Church authorities have a great sense of humor and make people laugh with funny jokes, anecdotes, and self-deprecating remarks (often making a good Gospel point). They are also quite serious otherwise. Very typical American.

Americans use humor far more extensively, I believe, than others. I think this holds true even in contrast with Brits, although I could be wrong.

Whups, looks like Chris Matthews @ MS-DNC was caught scripting interviews at the Republican convention in order to prevent the Republicans from looking good…..

http ://hotair.com/archives/2008/09/06/ms-nbc-convention-driver-crowd-questions-rigged/

Wasn’t it the ayatollah who said that there is no laughter in islam, but if you want to rub yourself on a baby girl, have at it. With that kind of atmosphere, who wants to risk their neck?

Heh.

What I think the Ayatollah Khomeini said, I believe to a Western reporter, was, “There is no humor in Islam. Islam is deadly seriously.” I think he meant it literally.

Islamo nutjobs like Khomeini are the middle eastern version of leftard.
No sense of humor, emotional, neurotic, duds.

I love this guy. He’s my favorite minion:

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Of course, it’s more powerful without the bzillions of cialis and viagra links that appear between the couplets, but still…

My eeeeeeeeeeyeessssssss…

Good God Swease!!! I still have to try to eat breakfast. Why would you do something like that?

I’ll teach you to be on the wrong side of the planet, missy!

I’m actually back home, well northern MN. But no more overseas trips for me. I got that message loud and clear 😉

Is that a for reals picture or photoshop?

For reals, as far as I know. Horrifying, isn’t it?

Yeah. Where did you find it?
I bet it was staged like that beach shot during the Monica fiasco. Though, him doing other chicks probably turns her on. Brrrrrr.

The copyright on it is 2001, but it’s clearly an older picture. Oh, I’m sure it was staged. Everything about the Clintons is staged.

Though, unlike many, I don’t expect them to divorce at any point. They are, to my mind, a couple…a couple based on politics and scheming and the perpetual campaign, but a genuine partnership all the same. Sex, love or even affection might not come in to it, but they are weirdly two of a kind.

I found it doing a Google images search of Chris Matthews. Don’t know why this image was there, but you get all sorts of funny side-results when you do those things. I never watched Hardball, but I got to see some of Matthews during MSNBC’s coverage of the convention.

Does his hair always stick up all over his head like that? He looked smashed.

He looks horny.

Brrr…brr…brr…*contorting with brr-ness*

No, they won’t divorce. She is too good a CYA for the both of them, and she needs his ‘brand’.

Huh. That’s a first — in Rhode Island, anyway. A young man just came to my back door and asked to borrow a chainsaw.

I’ve got to stop leaving that door open, but I like the breeze.

I wonder what made him think you’d have a chainsaw?

(koff)

Meanwhile, in Louisiana, post Gustav, armed bands of men prowl through the night looking for trouble. You’d think they’d had enough trouble already without looking for it.

This poor guy had a fire at home about three weeks ago, and then Gustav pushed a tree over on one end of his house. Somehow he’s managed to keep a sense of humor.

If you poke around in his recent posts (August 30), he has some disaster preparedness tips, from Katrina, that most folks would not think of.

The strange thing, Uncle B, is that I pointed to the neighbors one house over and said, “they might have one.” And he said, “I don’t know them.”

Um. Right.

That’s a neat blog, Gnus. Lord is he prolific. Looks like he writes about three posts a day. I get tired just thinking about it.

Turkeys! I was coming down the mountain today and a whole flock of them were in the road just staring upwards. Stupid birds. I honked at them, tried to move them with the truck, they finally just wandered off.

Anywho, this AM I go out on the deck to have my coffee and I’m surrounded by cattle, it’s all open range up there. I didn’t recognize the brand, which was kind of odd. I thought I knew all the brands around here. I spotted a cute little calf, and immediately thought, hmmmmm, veal.

Cattle rustlin’ is rarely punished in California anymore. Here’s a long but interesting article on the subject:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/12/16/BUQ6TT0PK.DTL

And he said, “I don’t know them.”

Keep your snubby at the ready. *paranoid of people casing the joint*

Had a guy come to my door this past week selling window cleaner. Thankfully, the husband called and stayed on the line so I could get rid of him (and to hear my slaughter in the event the dude got the notion to do so).
Guy wouldn’t go…’Let me demonstrate what all of your neighbors are raving about.’ Then proceeds to squirt it on my storm door. Er…most of my neighbors are at work this time of day as I’m sure he was finding out.
I says, ‘Thanks but no thanks, I have a jug of vinegar that works just as well for pennies.’
Him, ‘Ooo, that has bad chemicals in it, check out the natural ingredients in whatever product it was.’
Me – ‘Vinegar is a natural product.’
Him – ‘But this product leaves a protective coating against children’s fingerprints and pets.’
Me – ‘That’s okay, fingerprints of children and pets don’t bother me. Now if you will excuse me, I have to take this call.’
Him – slumps off into the pouring rain.

Actual conversation at an apartment complex in Berkeley– neighbor wanders in whilst I am being shown the available unit by the manager:
“Do you have a handcuff key we can borrow? We lost ours.”
(It was *not* what you are undoubtedly thinking. Really. I did end up living there, and it was a blast. Oh, and the manager *did* have a spare handcuff key. I love a happy ending …)

Stoatie, I would loan you my chainsaw, but thats a bit of a walk….

BTW, I just heard a bit of wisdom that I thought was worth passing on… “Never make major, life changing decisions using Jose Quervo as your guide…..” 🙂

Peace..

S’Weasel S’Wonderful. It had to be said. S’Marvelous.

He got one somewhere, Scubafreak. I heard it sawing away later.

<stares at Christopher and blinks>

In a somewhat related story, a friend of mine recently caught a blue heron while fishing. The thing grabbed his bait and took to the air. He tried to reel it in so he could remove the lure but the crazed thing fought so hard he thought it best to just cut the line. Most critters have one hell of a survival instinct.

Whoa! Surly! Dude! Is that your own work? Very, very nice. Check out Surly Ermine’s link, yo. Very decent painter of weasels. Oh, yeah…you’ll go on my blogroll when I’m back home and to get to it (yeah, I’m such a drama queen about my blogroll. I stuck it someplace hard to get to).

Hey, anybody got a recommend for a Linux distro? My Thinkpad shit the bed and, temporarily, I’m trying to take an old Compaq Evo from work and make a Linux machine out of it.

Psych! Too late! I’ll start with Fedora (Red Hat’s freebie offering), I guess. I’ve tried several Linux distros before, but it was too long ago for me to remember which ones worked better. I remember Red Hat was good enough, so I’ll start there.

I get the Linux fevah every few years. I spend days trying to get all the kinks out of the install. I end up loving it, except for those few things I can’t get to work. And those things are always deal killers (wifi and DVD-playing last time. Turns out, Thinkpads don’t like doing either of those things under Linux).

Thanks Weasel. That means alot coming from the originator of weasel art on the web.

Heyyy…I should make an honorary place on my blogroll for weasel-themed blogs. Lots of good conservative blogs with “weasel” in the title that I have neglected to link.

My favorite was the “John Stoat” one. It just made me laugh. I could picture a piece of farm equipment with that logo on it and people just staring at it trying to figure it out.

My dad used to smoke vanilla Borkum Riff, by the way. I hadn’t thought of that in years, until that graphic. I loved the smell.

Well, dammit, they choke off downloads so egregiously here that it would’ve taken 174 hours by IE’s estimate to download the first disc. There are six discs in a Fedora distro. I can’t download it at home because my CD burner is busted. So the woman who sits next to me said, “you wanna borrow an 8-gig thumb drive for a day?”

Eight gigs. Jesus.

I particularly like the runnybabbits in the Hello Weasel image 😉

Oh, and them thumb drives is getting cheaper all the time. I recently bought a 4GB one and (even at rip-off Britain prices) it was cheap.

UB<———– anticipating many happy evenings as her Ladyship sweats and rages over ‘^&$$^ Linux on my $*^*%&&* Stinkpad!

I have a 2 gig on my keychain. I think it cost ten whole dollars. My husband tried to get me a 4 gig and I thought, when am I ever gonna need to carry around 4 gigs of anything? I’m not a secret agent.

Check out Surly Ermine’s link, yo.

Nicely done Ermine!
Heh. Scroll down and look at his Hello Weasel. The runnybabbits in the background are a clever, though a bit disturbing, touch.
*edited to acknowledge Uncle B’s acknowledgment of same
*edited again to say ‘ACK, them runnybabbits are expired! (I was on my itouch before and didn’t notice the little ‘x’s for eyes).

Oh! Ha! I didn’t notice the little x’s either.

Some conservationist lady once told Uncle B that she sometimes found empty shells of bunnies out in the fields. Apparently, a stoat will kill a rabbit, eat its insides and then curl up in the carcass for a nap.

Word.

At least they are neat about it.

Dawn, but if you had a 4 gig thumb drive, you could *become* a secret agent.

🙂

(taps side of forehead) I’m alwayyyys thinkin’…

Stoatie: if you don’t mind carousing with the forces of evil, the NSA is offering Secure Linux from their website.

http ://www.nsa.gov/selinux/

Well, dammit, they choke off downloads so egregiously here that it would’ve taken 174 hours by IE’s estimate to download the first disc.

174 hours. Is that with or without bittorrent?

I didn’t even try bittorrent. I had a feeling it would send up all sorts of flags. They monitor usage very tightly and, if asked, I couldn’t in a bzillion years explain why I was downloading Linux anyway.

Of course, I have wondered if they monitor my activities here — which, libertarian that I am, let me say I believe they would be entirely within their rights to do. They pay for the pipe, they get to peep at what’s going down it.

I would say that makes me toast, but not at this stage of the game. I had my performance review Friday. My boss (who is well away how imminently I’m out there door) was, like, “you want to trade recipes, or talk about the weather, or what?”

Sorry weas, I had it in my head you were talking home usage. Duh.

I’m not worth much some days.

Man, I would love to see a stoaty nappin’ all snuggly like in a cute little eviscerated bunny carcass. That’d be worthy of hanging above the couch that would!

Привет! Я смотрю у тебя опыт в блоггерстве средненький, даже нормальный 🙂 а я вот только начала =))
Если что смотри , заходи и звони!! а то скучно мне :'(
А лучше заходи и звони!!! ))

sex-phone says (according to babelfish):

“Regards! I look in you experience in [bloggerstve] [srednenkiy], even normal:) and I here are only beginnings of =)) If that look, go and ring!! and that is boring to me: ‘( But better go and ring!!!”

I think we can all learn something from that.