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Round 87: Autumn Daze Edition

Currently takes the dick with Arnold Palmer. Currently is a person. There’s a reader called currently. Who won the dick and has yet to claim it.

Sadly, the story where Arnold Palmer’s wife claims on air she kisses his balls for luck is not true. Even more sadly, that’s my only Arnold Palmer story. Saddest of all, that’s just one more horrible lie my mama told me.

Heigh-ho! Let’s go!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.


Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:00 pm

Hugh Hefner

Comment from Ben
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:00 pm

William Shatner

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:01 pm

Avoided the poach! (I saw that)

Comment from thefritz
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:01 pm

Olivia Mary de Havilland turned 100 on July 1.

Comment from Janna
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:01 pm

Kirk Douglas

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:02 pm

George H. W. Bush….
1. 92 years old
2. Now too stupid to vote properly
3. Wanna see how the Golfer-in-Chief handles state funeral, memorial service and golf, all in the same afternoon…

Comment from p2
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:04 pm

jerry lewis 4 minutes in and all the good ones are snagged…

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:09 pm

Ramsey Clark

Comment from Timbo
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:12 pm

Fidel Castro.

Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:21 pm

Penny Marshall

Comment from Gromulin
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:25 pm

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:38 pm

Maria Teresa Thierstein Simões-Ferreira Heinz Kerry

Comment from catnip
Time: September 30, 2016, 6:57 pm

Sir Neville Marriner

Comment from dissent
Time: September 30, 2016, 7:17 pm

Yeah. Robert Mugabe again.

Zimbabwe needs a break.

Comment from RimrockR
Time: September 30, 2016, 7:26 pm

John Glenn, your space elevator is going up…

Comment from Eirik
Time: September 30, 2016, 7:58 pm

June Foray of Rocket J. Squirrel fame.

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: September 30, 2016, 8:00 pm

Walter Mondale

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 30, 2016, 8:16 pm

Paul Combetta, Cover-Upper and Bit-Bleacher of Double-Sekrit Emailz.

(That means my usual David Rockefeller Sr. is up for grabs. I would be extremely pleased if he were the winning pick.)

Comment from sassamon
Time: September 30, 2016, 8:33 pm

Peter Sallis, actor who played Clegg, for all 31 years of the hit british tv comedy “Last of the Summer Wine”. Also the voice of Wallace of the “Wallace & Gromit” claymation films from Aardman.

Comment from Gordon R. Durand
Time: September 30, 2016, 8:33 pm

Haven’t heard from G. Gordon Liddy in a while. Hope he’s well and happy.

Comment from Crabby Old Bat
Time: September 30, 2016, 8:35 pm

Hillary Clinton (cough, cough, hack, gasp, shudder, thud) (and then we will be lectured on how our “We KNEW it!!” comments are unseemly and disrespectful, because we are MONSTERS)

Comment from weaselwannabee
Time: September 30, 2016, 8:55 pm

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Comment from Hutch
Time: September 30, 2016, 9:07 pm

Nanette Fabray

Comment from The Neon Madman
Time: September 30, 2016, 9:16 pm

Colonel Richard E Cole, last of the Doolittle Raiders

Comment from m
Time: September 30, 2016, 10:02 pm

pope benedict

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: September 30, 2016, 10:03 pm

Prince Phillip

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: September 30, 2016, 10:13 pm

With no pleasure, grave hopes that I am wrong, and with the sure knowledge that 100 heads have been pledged by many people; I expect multiple attempts on the life of Donald J. Trump, by multiple hostile actors.

He is surging. And he is going into enemy territory challenging them. Monday, he will be in Pueblo, Colorado; one of the main Democrat strongholds in Colorado. No Republican presidential candidate has entered Pueblo County while running in living memory. Pueblo used to be a union labor stronghold, based on the now defunct Colorado Fuel & Iron Company. Today Pueblo is a hotbed of Nation of Atzlan Hispanic racism, a kind of a cross between the Sinaloa Cartel, the murder rate of Chicago, and the DNC. And that is not the only dangerous place he goes, deliberately in the face of the enemy.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: September 30, 2016, 10:16 pm

It”s Larry King DEAD!

Comment from Spad13
Time: September 30, 2016, 10:29 pm

Jimmy Carter

Comment from AliceH
Time: September 30, 2016, 10:49 pm

Goodness Gracious, Jerry *Lee* Lewis.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 30, 2016, 11:00 pm

@Subotai Bahadur – D’accord. There are three reasons I hope your pick doesn’t bring the dick.

1. I can’t think of anything much worse than killing an innocent person.

2. I would very much like to see what DT might actually accomplish when elected President.

3. The assassination of DT might well be the last straw for several million well-armed and now righteously very angry Americans.

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: September 30, 2016, 11:25 pm

Henry Kissinger

Comment from Niña
Time: September 30, 2016, 11:41 pm

I really want to put a hit out on cancer, but that’s not a person, so I’ll pick up Uncle Al’s David Rockefeller, excretable whomever chooses him, right?

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 30, 2016, 11:43 pm

@Niña – ¡Buena suerte!

Comment from unkawill
Time: October 1, 2016, 12:48 am


Comment from peacelovewoodstock
Time: October 1, 2016, 1:02 am

Bob Newhart who I love but for crying out loud he is 87

Comment from Veeshir
Time: October 1, 2016, 1:09 am

Bill Clinton.
He’s not looking so good.

Comment from xul
Time: October 1, 2016, 2:16 am

John Astin

Comment from Mitchell
Time: October 1, 2016, 2:16 am

PeaceLoveWoodstock, Bob’s best friend is Don Rickles at 90! And they’re both still working! I won’t pick him though; I hope he plays Carnegie Hall at 100.

I’m going with a not so long-shot: Anthony Weiner. He utterly destroyed any hope of any political future and is now banished from the Clintonian protective circle. But as Huma’s former husband he might know dangerous things: apparent “suicide”.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: October 1, 2016, 8:43 am

How about someone 91 years old and allegedly famous?

Robert Frank, “the most influential photographer alive”.

That’s according to the NY Times (as cited without attribution in a review in today’s Tribune of a documentary about him). Google turns up profiles of him in The New Yorker, the Guardian, the Times, Vanity Fair. I never heard of him before.

Minor weirdness: using Firefox, the main page loads, and all the posting/comment pages linked on the main page load – except this one, which hangs indefinitely. (Firefox can’t connect.) But it loaded just fine with Safari.

More weirdness: I typed this post with ordinary straight quotation marks. But the preview shows slanted “typographer’s quotes”. The single quotes also are transformed. I hate programs that insist on being “helpful”. (There is a “Smart quotes” switch in the Edit menu, but it’s off.)

Comment from tinman
Time: October 1, 2016, 12:01 pm

John Hinkley (perhaps a distant Reagan relative will take a shot at him)

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: October 1, 2016, 12:23 pm

Jody Foster

Because … well … John Hinkley is a free man …

Comment from RealMc
Time: October 1, 2016, 1:47 pm

Once again long live Clint Eastwood…..

But, alas, just in case.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: October 1, 2016, 1:53 pm

@Timothy S. Carlson – You have a good point. When Hinkley tried to assassinate Reagan with the purpose of impressing Foster, Foster had not yet come out as a lesbian. I imagine that did piss Hinkley off somewhat!

Comment from gromulin
Time: October 1, 2016, 2:34 pm

How was your day, Dad?

F’n AWESOME. I finally got Zsa Zsa in the deadpool.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: October 1, 2016, 4:05 pm

Rosalynn Carter. Lots of evil things to say about her, but Jimmah’s killer rabbit might seek me out. Best to just let it go.

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: October 1, 2016, 4:30 pm

Harry Reid, because he’s evil….

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: October 1, 2016, 9:31 pm

Goin’, once again, with Redass Redpants Janey Fonda, of whom no one could possibly be less fond-a, probably by bumpin’ into a doorpost, whereupon that fragile, tissue-thin porcelain shell overspray of an outward persona she sails around inside of will crack, split and shatter to reveal the dwindling, rotten interior, which will shrivel and blow away…

Loverly to think so, hmmm?…

Comment from BJM
Time: October 2, 2016, 12:41 am

Well crap, I totes forgot the DP! I’m going with the Bishop in a Tutu.

Comment from smedley
Time: October 2, 2016, 11:11 am

Que Sera Sera
Doris Day

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 2, 2016, 1:08 pm

Hey, when did the post ratings come back???

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: October 2, 2016, 1:19 pm

@Stoatie – Dang! I hadn’t noticed the thumbies until you mentioned them. I’m not 100% sure but I don’t think they were in evidence yesterday.

(Edit: this posts’ down vote was me testing. Nice to see the voting works, but I sometimes have to refresh to thumb more than one post. Odd.)

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: October 2, 2016, 4:47 pm

That was fast! Congratulations, catnip. You’re getting dick!
RIP Sir Neville Marriner, CH, CBE (15 April 1924 – 2 October 2016) was an English conductor and violinist.

Comment from Davem123
Time: October 2, 2016, 5:30 pm

That should affect the average DeadPool duration. The last one went almost 4 months and this one ends before I remember to jump in.

See you all Next Friday! (Unless catnip violated one of the sub-sections of Rule Zero).

Comment from spunkus
Time: October 3, 2016, 4:12 am

Thad Cochran – remember Mississippi!

Comment from dissent555
Time: October 3, 2016, 5:47 am

Well, at least I posted right next to a dick winner.

Comment from Nana1
Time: October 7, 2016, 1:34 pm

Chuck Berry

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