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One angry rat


Rattus and I have been playing a game all evening. He finds an opening, I steal a brick from the path and plug it up. It won’t be long before I have bricks all the way around the run.

No, seriously. That’s what I think I’m going to have to do — put a course of brick all around. Unfortunately, I’ve run out of scavanged bricks. Probably have to buy some.

That is one angry, puzzled rodent…hee hee.

I think we’re going to have to shoot him. To answer the question from the thread below, yes we can get a proper .22, but the restrictions involved are way too onerous. Believe it or don’t. For now, we still have some pretty potent air rifles, though.

If we can figure out how to light him up.


Comment from p2
Time: June 15, 2017, 10:54 pm

a decent air rifle will dispatch rattus annoyingus no problem. put a red filter over a decent torch and have uncle b light him up. pfft….bobs yer uncle.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 15, 2017, 10:55 pm

Mme. Ermine, I don’t know if the light-intensifying camera with which you captured these images is of suitable size and shape, but it is could be possible to duct tape (The Miracle Ingredient/Tool/Breath Mint!) said camera to an air rifle so that it is aligned, or nearly so, with the sights. Then you wouldn’t need to light up the rat. Garden variety air rifles can be a bit jumpy, not so much actual recoil but from releasing springs and piston motion, so you should add some padding between the camera and the rifle. If you have a cache of old mouse pads (doesn’t everybody?) you could cut appropriate size/shape cushion to protect the camera.

My second idea is to pour gasoline down the rat hole and light it, so I sure do hope my first idea works. (-:

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: June 15, 2017, 11:12 pm

Armybrat’s suggestion of a little chem warfare CO2 is certified to work.

Little bugger goes to sleep in the low spot where the gas settles, and becomes one with Gaia shortly thereafter.

Comment from Ripley
Time: June 15, 2017, 11:37 pm

Why do I have the feeling someone will go Carl Spackler? Never go full Carl Spackler.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: June 15, 2017, 11:53 pm

He’s YUGE. You’ll just wound him and he will go all Willard on you.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: June 16, 2017, 12:32 am

On an encouraging note, the Trump Administration, while fending off demagogic attacks from the Deep State, the Democrat Party, the UniParty and an appointed White Knight named Mueller, has ordered the various and sundry administrative Federal agencies to stop preparing for the Y2K “bug” because the deadlines for preparedness have expired.

Comment from Bob B
Time: June 16, 2017, 1:10 am

I tape a mini-flashlight with a focused beam to the barrel of my pellet rifle for short range varmint shooting at night. I put it on the side, in between the front and rear sight so a little of the side wash from the beam illuminates the front sight. It’s very effective. And more fun than traps. I suppose traps or bait would be as effective.
Don’t get so excited that you lose awareness of what’s behind what you’re shooting at.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: June 16, 2017, 1:30 am

I suggest detente. Live and let live. Just put a bowl of food out for him away from the pen. He cant eat you out of house and home. And they eat garbage so you’re actually recycling.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: June 16, 2017, 3:57 am

Ric, that would work fine, if there were only one rat in the world. Unfortunately, they multiply. Not only will they still eventually eat you out of house and home, they will eat your home. Measures must be taken. Sadly, History teaches us that “Live and let live” usually works out better for the other guy.

Now if only there were some small semi-domesticated animal that farmers and the like could keep around to hunt the rats and eat them….

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: June 16, 2017, 4:56 am

Rat Terriers? I’ve seen them at work. They are cute little dogs until they see a rat. They come out covered in blood and look horrible. Maybe stoaty can rent one?

Comment from Tim Carlson
Time: June 16, 2017, 5:37 am

Buy one of those spring-trap cages. Then you can either take him far away and set him free, or drown the rat bastard.

I have two of these traps. Peanut butter on a cracker or stale bread works well as bait.

These are non-harm traps, so if you catch something you didn’t want, you can just let it loose. And it won’t harm Jack. Might scare the crap out of him if he sets it off, though.

When caught, I opt for drowning. Too many ratas in this area to opt for mercy.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 16, 2017, 7:11 am

Uncle B’s the better shot; I’d leave the deed to him. Also, I have a bit of a warm spot for rodents, having kept them as pets. I could kill one, but I’d feel pretty shit.

Detente isn’t possible. Rats expand to fill all available space, sadly. And they piss disease.

Somewhere around here, I have a have-a-heart trap. I caught my feral puss in one, baited with tuna. Not sure where, though. And it’s illegal to catch and release vermin, not that I care…

Comment from Armybrat
Time: June 16, 2017, 11:22 am

I’m telling ya…the no muss, no fuss way is some dry ice in the tunnel and fill in the mouth of the tunnel. Boston uses that method in the city parks where they can’t set out poison because of kids and pets. The vermin dies in it’s tunnel and you usually get the whole clan at one time and you don’t have to worry about disposing of the remains.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: June 16, 2017, 2:42 pm

Of course, releasing all that CO2 into the atmosphere, you’ll have to plant 6 or 7 trees as offsets. Which you can purchase at Manbearpig.net. You send the money to them, and they promise they’ll plant some trees, somewhere, sometime and your money won’t go to paying the wine, cheese, dinner, air conditioning and electric bills for AlGoresscam.com.

Here’s a photo of some trees they planted just this week to cover my heavy breathing after running 40 feet –

Comment from dissent
Time: June 16, 2017, 3:02 pm

Too bad I can’t pick The Rat for the Dead Pool.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: June 16, 2017, 3:34 pm

I think there is a legitimate argument to be made that stoaty’s rat is a celebrity.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: June 16, 2017, 3:49 pm

The problem with shooting vermin is the possibility of wounding, not killing, and having the critter run under something and then dying where you can’t reach it. Now you are miserable for the next month while it rots. You want to keep them from running.

I like a standard spring trap. Bait with raw bacon because bacon is aromatic and irresistible to all critters. Slide it down inside a 3 or 4 ft. length of PVC pipe (capped on one end) of a diameter that the trap can still spring. Tip it up enough on the end so the hedgehogs can’t get in it but the rat can …

I really like Armybrat’s idea, though I’d worry about the hedgehogs.

Comment from Steve Skubinna
Time: June 16, 2017, 5:06 pm

How about you coat Alka Seltzer tablets with peanut butter? The rat won’t be able to get into his tunnel when inflated.

Or leave out Mentos and bowls of Pepsi. Just hope the rat explodes a safe distance away.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: June 16, 2017, 6:20 pm

Speaking of guns, my father-in-law passed away a few months ago and one of the guns in his safe is a Henry Golden Boy .17HMR. It was new in 2001 and has never been fired. I asked Husband to buy it from the estate for me and he refuses. He rarely refuses me anything I ask for (because I am always practical, not frivolous). So I am stumped on how to convince him that my father-in-law meant for me to have the Henry. 😉

And this is about to open in San Antonio:

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: June 16, 2017, 6:41 pm

Stewed Cane Rat
Skin and eviscerate the rat and split it lengthwise. Fry until brown in a mixture of butter and peanut oil. Cover with water, add tomatoes or tomato purée, hot red peppers, and salt. Simmer the rat until tender and serve with rice.

Sorry. Couldnt find a recipe for rat meatloaf.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 16, 2017, 8:13 pm

I’m not disputing your methods, ArmyBrat – it’s just, this isn’t a real tunnel we’re talking. Just a little indentation he uses to get into the chicken run. If he has a proper tunnel, it’s someplace out of site. Or he may just live in the hedge.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: June 16, 2017, 8:18 pm

@Ric Fan

I have a cunning plan my lord.


Comment from durnedyankee
Time: June 16, 2017, 8:29 pm

I’m rather disappointed though, that as an American you haven’t opted for the most obvious solution –

B52 carpet bombing from 50,000 feet, followed by close support napalm strikes along the chicken wire line.
If necessary our British counterparts have agreed to deploy the LANCS to come in and mop up any survivors.

For example –

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: June 16, 2017, 9:10 pm

@durnedyankee: Looks tasty. 🙂

And why carpet bomb when you can MOAB?

Comment from Timothy J. McCorkle
Time: June 17, 2017, 5:07 pm

Blow Guns.

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: June 18, 2017, 8:38 pm

Live catch traps, big garbage cans, and much water works wonders.

Submerge, Shovel, Shut up about it.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: June 18, 2017, 9:15 pm

I see that the Chinese use flame thrower on ISIS hiding in caves. You cd try that tho it seems a bit cruel to rats. ISIS? Not so much. Saw that they blew up a kindergarten.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: June 19, 2017, 1:40 am


This cat guards the chicken coop. Why cant Jack guard your coop? Tho, I think Jack and Rattus look to be about the same size. Are rats spooked? Would Rattus be intimidated just by the presence of Jack?

Comment from Chicken Farmer
Time: June 20, 2017, 4:06 pm


Any one of these should do the trick.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: June 23, 2017, 9:26 am

When I was a boy, one of the farmers had a chicken coop on skids. Every other month, he’d tow it a few yard with his tractor, and all the kids would start bashing rats with shovels and hoes. It was lots of fun, but a good way to lose a toe.
These fellows can help you:
Alternatively, you could borrow one of those terriers, or perhaps a ferret?

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