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My frightening brush with Lladro

I have exactly once in my life lusted after a porcelain figurine. It was a fake Lladro. In a Kmart, I think. Some upmarket joint like that.

It was a goose girl, in that horrible, shiny, willowy Lladro style. They must have cast the goose separately, then cast the girl, then finished the two together. It was supposed to be snug in her arms. The problem is, slipcast porcelain has a memory. When fired, it likes to revert to the original shape it was cast in.

So when this one was fired, the arms peeled away, leaving the goose improbably stuck to the girl’s stomach and her hands flung out in a classic Ta-Dum!! gesture. The weird thing is, that happened in the preliminary firing, and whoever it was went ahead and glazed it and finished it.

Maybe they had a “no throwaway” policy in that factory. Or maybe the Chinese think Westerners are so mind-bendingly weird that it wouldn’t matter.

Which, actually, was true. I wanted that thing badly.

But it was something like $15 at a time when I was living on Ramen noodles at five packets for a buck. Still, I stood in front of it for ages, staring at it with a terrible longing.

I was going to call it, “and now for my next trick.”


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 24, 2007, 10:32 am

Wait! That’s not true. I lusted after another cheap Lladro knockoff once. This was in the Walmart in Lebanon, Tennessee. Or rather, wasn’t there. They had an ordinary, boring fake Lladro Last Supper, with a shelf label “Last Supper (Caucasian).”

I wanted the other one.

Comment from mesablue
Time: April 24, 2007, 1:50 pm

Drinking at work again, I see.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: April 24, 2007, 9:44 pm

I looked up Lladro – particularly pretty pricey pieces of porcelain! I’d rather have bronze frogs.

Comment from itishwhay abbitray
Time: April 25, 2007, 2:14 am

Those frogs are pretty awesome.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 25, 2007, 4:18 am

Very awesome. Is the color enameling? I didn’t know you could do that….

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: April 25, 2007, 9:33 am

No, the coloring is chemical patina. It’s amazing the things bronze will do when you swipe the right mix of funky unguents on it. I own a few of them, my parents own a few more. Unfortunately the guy’s stuff is getting pretty popular and his prices are getting a little too steep to buy many more.

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