web analytics

Damn! Blast! Fie! Piffle!

My boss informed me, casual-like, that a new, strict directive on work-time websurfing is about to be handed down. They sent him the draft a few weeks ago.

Oh dear. I am ever so annoyed.

Does this mean an end to daytime websurfing? Will I actually have to buckle down and do my job?

Pff! Please. If they wanted me to do my job, they’d make my work more interesting. Some days, it’s like they don’t even care if I’m entertained. So, you know, if they’re not even going to try to compete with the internet, what do they expect from me? I’m not made of stone!

Still, I’d better stay off their crummy, poopy, stinky, lousy servers. The building next door has a wide open wifi signal. If my office were twenty feet closer, I could nick a signal on my laptop, no problem. I sometimes wander out into the stairwell and check my personal mail at lunch that way. I could try to get a job in the department on the other side of the building, but that’s Training. Training people have cooties. Big giant ones.

So, anybody know anything about wifi reception boosting? Obviously, I can’t do much about boosting the signal. And I have a lot of unusual things in my office, but I think a parabolic antenna might get noticed. I don’t have a clear line of sight to the other building, anyway.

C’mon…think. Otherwise, you’re only going to hear from me on my own time. You know: the Not Sober hours. And I’m a sloppy, boring drunk.


Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 4:53 pm

I’m on it, Weasel!

Try this:

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 4:53 pm

Or this:

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 4:58 pm

Or this:

I figure that with your artistic skills (and the doofosity of your co-workers and boss) you should be able to disguise it most Weaselishly. Like – a Renoir or sumpin.

E-Y – spelling check?: doofosity..having the propensity, manner, or characteristic of being a doofus.

Comment from blanco lagomorph
Time: April 26, 2007, 4:58 pm

McGoo to the rescue!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 26, 2007, 4:58 pm

Hm, well, nice try, McGoo…but the first one is a giant Asian dumpling strainer — and also a signal booster. And the second one is a USB wifi dingus — it adds wifi to a machine that doesn’t have it, but doesn’t boost existing signal.

Those were the sorts of confusing hits I was getting, too. I’m afraid I don’t know a whole lot about wifi. I think what I need is some sort of relay…but I can’t place it too far from my desk or I’ll probably shut down Boston quicker’n a Mooninite.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 26, 2007, 5:02 pm

I’m afraid that third thing is a signal booster, too — it sits on the thing that broadcasts the signal (the building next door), not the thing that receives it (me).

Satellite-broadcast wifi is about four years away. At least there’s that to look forward to!

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 5:03 pm

One more:

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 5:05 pm

Hey! I’ve spent long seconds on this. Give me a few…

But the answer is out there.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 26, 2007, 5:18 pm

Okay, now that last link…that might do it…

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 5:34 pm

Weas’ looks like most of ’em are as you say – antenna boosters or pattern re-shapers. Makes sense, actually, as there is not much you can do to the LAN rf receiver on your own. The pro’s who design front ends are usually pretty good. Putting up a good high-gain antenna structure is about the only option.

BTW: that 3-corner aluminum foil reflector WILL work on a single receiver antenna. It can boost signal level roughly 6-10dB. (Passive antennas are causal reciprocal devices – what works for xmit works for receive).

The repeaters are a cheap option if you know a co-worker who is closer and will let you install it in their office.

(Put it in you bosses office!)

You do not need line-of-sight, although it helps. Especially if there are metalic obstructions around the source and receiver. But you knew that.

Considering the ramifications of Weasellessness during your working hours, we better find a solution. Try the al-foil thingy on your laptop antenna. It’ll only take you 30 minutes. If it works, we can innovate from there.

There is a solution to this.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 26, 2007, 5:48 pm

Geez, McGoo — I forgot you actually know something about something. As an art school dropout, I should probably keep a civil tongue in my head.

We get lousy cellphone reception, too…must be all the girders and filing cabinets. My boss is in the wrong direction, away from the signal. But the office cube next to mine is usually empty (nice guy, works off-site). It doesn’t have a line of sight, but it faces an opening.

That aluminum foil thing…it’s shown on top of a router. I don’t have any sort of visible antenna on my laptop. What would I build it around?

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 6:37 pm

Weasel, I assumed your LT had a antenna. Sorry.

This means that the antenna is internal or built into the case. Neither is very good from an rf standpoint.

Weasel, beg/borrow/steal/buy a WLAN card for your LT that has an external antenna or get an external usb WLAN box with antenna – the USB-type. Your problems may then be solved. Otherwise, try the aluminum thingy and we’ll go from there.

There are more options. We’ve barely scratched the surface. This will not be too difficult, I suspect.

BTW: Anyone else out ther got opinions/experience on this? I don’t bite, and Weasels shots are up-to-date!

Comment from mesablue
Time: April 26, 2007, 6:47 pm

I don’t have any sort of visible antenna on my laptop. What would I build it around?

Try this: http://onthepatio.typepad.com/on_the_patio/images/foil_man-thumb.jpg

Comment from mesablue
Time: April 26, 2007, 6:53 pm

Heh, also just found out that Belgium does not exist: http://zapatopi.net/belgium/

Comment from mesablue
Time: April 26, 2007, 6:59 pm

And, neither does Idaho: http://kuoi.asui.uidaho.edu/idaho_does_not_exist.html

The things you learn trying to find info to help a weasel avoid work.

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 7:19 pm

That man-thumb thing made my nose bleed. And I coulda sworn I liked brussel sprouts. It was all a leftist conspiracy…

I hope Weasel appreciates your efforts and sacrifices, Mesa. We cannot allow work to intrude upon Weasels surfing efforts. We could go blind.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: April 26, 2007, 8:40 pm

Yeah well your drunk as a rat posts are usually pretty entertaining.

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 26, 2007, 9:11 pm

This could be important:

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: April 27, 2007, 7:45 am

Maybe if you show up to work with your knife they’ll leave you and your web-surfing alone. Maybe?

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: April 27, 2007, 10:05 am

Look, this is all very simple. Explain to them that you have minions – loyal minions who require semi-daily weasel nuggets for proper nutrition and that policy needs an exemption for you. Use the knife to impress upon them the seriousness of the situation. Consider using the phrase “or you’ll be sorry” somewhere in your explanation. They will be utterly convinced by your super-rational logic and beg you to web-surf and blog during working hours.

See? Easy peasy.

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 27, 2007, 10:41 am

We should all (all 13? of us) travel to Weasels office building and stand outside day and night with our laptops in hand, calmly, peacefully, silently , staring at the building with sad, longing looks on our faces. Every once in a while someone could hit refresh on their LT to make sure he hasn’t posted something.

Comment from whitish rabbit
Time: April 27, 2007, 11:20 am


All our help might just end him up in prison.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 27, 2007, 12:16 pm

I’ve always thought I would be especially happy in prison, if I could get solitary. And they let me have books and a computer in there. I’m pretty sure I could work out how to get myself put in solitary, too.

My next best career aspiration is permanent invalid. Nothing too painful, mind. Just incapacitating. Bonus points if I got something romantic. Consumption. Plague. Simply wasting away…

Yeah, that’s right. It’s me. I busted out for a minute. I had to make sure you guys weren’t having orgies in my comments section or anything. You really can’t turn your back on minions these days.

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 27, 2007, 2:33 pm

You read my mind (such as it is), Weasel. I always swore that if I was imprisoned I would commit just enough of an infraction to get thrown into solitary. Y’know, where I’m safe from …uh….”folks”. Give me a small pebble or interesting piece of lint and I can amuse myself for days.

Are you in the stairway, still? Rats.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: April 29, 2007, 10:21 am

All you need is a baseball and a mitt, just ask Steve McQueen

Comment from SteamBoat McGoo
Time: April 29, 2007, 7:11 pm

CT – yeah! And a stupid guard I can play jokes on to continue my stay in relative safety.

BTW: that’s always been one of my favorite movie scenes: the guard closing the door, re-opening the door in a panic, and SM’s arm reaching out of the cell to hand the keys back. Outstanding!

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny