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If you think that looks awful, you should see my driver’s license photo.

Convict #3275443 – turn sideways!

What’s a tuna fish sandwich look like? Big old fish between two slices of buttered bread?

Sounds like it’s working for you. Howsumdever, should you ever wax unbearably nostalgic for the little chunks of pimiento. . .there is a way, assuming you can acquire a red bell (that is, sweet, not hot) pepper.
Broil the pepper, turning as necessary, until the skin is mostly charred. Put in plastic bag (or wrap in plastic wrap) until mostly cooled; this will make it easier to peel. Peel (its OK if a bit of the char remains). Chop. Voila! You have a small jar of chopped pimientos, drained.

Stoopid phone! I only said all that once. . .

In the little town where I grew up, the school cafeteria served pimiento cheese sandwiches every Friday, along with tuna sandwiches for the Catholic children. I always traded my half tuna sandwich for another half of pimiento, because my mother did not make pimiento cheese; she grew up in San Francisco and pimiento cheese is definitely southern 🙂 And the Mexican-American children did not like pimiento cheese.

I recall being a big fan of pimiento cheese (is it really spelled that way? OMG! I’ve been pronouncing it wrong for over 50 years!)

Came in little jars like this – https://tinyurl.com/u7kmljv

Hey! Wait a second!
Dang you people with your extra superfluous furrin language words with extra letters that don’t belong there!
I was pronouncing it right!

and it always tasted better than mayo and baloney sandwiches wrapped in wax paper and carried in a paper sack (that’s a bag for the Yankees in the audience) in the rain, used maybe to wack some other kid in the school yard at
“St. Mary’s Star of the Sea School For Kids Who Need Nuns To Ride Herd On Them”.

That was the name of the place, really! 2 generations of Durned’s gradgiated from that school so I should know!

Sigh, sorry, I might have taken some liberties with the name there, it was actually “For Children”, not “For Kids”.

In other international chicken news, a fairly new business is doing so well that they’re now selling franchises across the US and Canada.

RentTheChicken.com will rent you chickens for 6 months, provide a coop with a small run attached, bags of feed and an instruction manual. You feed them, eat the eggs, and deal with the daily chicken doings. Promotional T-shirt not included but available.

https://www.nj.com/cape-may-county/2019/11/want-backyard-chickens-with-no-commitment-this-nj-farm-will-let-you-rent-them.html

Ackshly, Can’t Hark, a certain badger grows red peppers in his greenhouse. In fact the last of this year’s crop is just ripening now – and none too soon as we’ve had our first couple of frosts of the year.

Usually spelled pimento and pronounced that way, Durned, especially when talking about the cheese. Sometimes spelled pimiento when talking about the pepper itself. I used both.

Perfect, Can’t Hark — I think there’s one last red pepper in the greenhouse.

Tom, they put CANNED CORN in tuna salad here. Which they call tuna mayonnaise. It’s not bad it’s just…weird. Who came up with that?

Y’know, Uncle Badger, I thought the necessary pepper might be as close as the back yard!
And, Sweas–hope it works for you. The recipe I use, btw, uses American cheese rather than cheddar (going for the utterly bland–it’s from a cookbook by the author of White Trash Cooking … but I imagine American cheese is even harder to come by than cinnamon candy in the UK?

The super mild cheap pre-grated cheddar is really American cheese, I’m convinced. It’s that quality, anyhoo.

Back when I lived in the U.S., a chicken salad sandwich was a handfull of diced chicken, a dollop of mayo, maybe relish, on two pieces of bread. I’ve had to ‘subvert my expectations’ here in the Philippines, as a chicken salad sandwich is 1 small cube of chicken that is finely diced, mixed with half a jar of salad dressing, spread on two pieces of institutional white bread. Ugh. No wonder filipinos die at 50yo from heart attacks and strokes.

And the cheese here? If you buy local (not imported), the main ingredient is usually either some kind of tropical oil mixed with “milk solids”, or a weird gluten concoction. Again, ugh.

Chicken Salad – I tried making turkey salad with Turkey Spam today.

I’m surprised, it was actually pretty good!

I added celery, some ‘hot pickles’, mayo, green onions. No corn. Who would add corn? What, are we in Iowa or something?

So did I read rightly above that you two have Preppers in your green house?

(Eh? What? Damned kids! Get off my lawn!)

Amazon carries Palmetto Cheese pimento cheese spread that is almost as good as my mama’s homemade stuff. You can also find this in Walmart, but the nearest Walmart to me is over an hour drive…..so Amazon!