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Magical Spoon of Ohio, y’all

Per the listing:

An Old Hand Carved Magic Hex Symbolic Wooden Label T43

Size: 15 x 4 1/4 x 2 1/2 inches. Crack. This is an old piece. I found this in Ohio near Pittsburgh, PA.

Only $2,000. The “collection” appears to be an assembly of pretty ordinary antiques for Ebay. This appears to be the only one with ‘magical’ qualities, so at least this person isn’t in the habit of selling fake woo.

I’d love to take a magnifying glass to this thing and see if the crack was there before the pentagram. Er, octogram.


Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: July 23, 2020, 8:32 pm

Wow, it’s actually a ladle…
Not a “label.”
Anyone searching for a “ladle” is out of luck; anyone searching for a “label” is bound to be surprised.
Remind me: does anyone make fun of English-speakers who make mistakes in French words or Chinese calligraphy?

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: July 23, 2020, 9:39 pm

That’s evidence that Star Fleet actually exists!
Those are crudely drawn Star Fleet logos!
Done by the descendent of future Star Fleet crew who were sent back here to save some “witch” who’s great great grandchild would be instrumental in discovering a new civilization on Khorphril IV and getting them admitted to the Federation!

Then, their time portal return was prevented by an attack by Romulans on the location where the “time machine” was based and they were trapped in the past.

This spoon was carved by the child of two of the crew, one a transgender male, who’s personal pronouns were “which” and “that”, who became a female and gave birth to 3 children in Ohio, where this spoon was found.

This obviously happened in an alternate universe from the Kirk Star Fleet though, because that kind of stuff didn’t happen in Kirk’s universe.

Comment from Mitch
Time: July 24, 2020, 12:19 am

That thing is no good anymore. If you get a crack in your hex you’ve violated the integrity of the spell. That’s right in the first chapter of your Sorcery 101 textbook there. You’re going to need a new hexed ladle.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: July 24, 2020, 12:37 am

Here we have a video of some of Uncle B’s cousins ignoring the rules on social distancing.


Comment from Kathryn
Time: July 24, 2020, 1:54 am

My kids’ doc has what I call a hexapus painted on the office wall. Drives my kids nuts. “It’s an octopus, Mom!” “Count those arms. It’s clearly a hexapus.”

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: July 24, 2020, 11:40 am

There is something oddly unsettling to me about the shape of an eight pointed star inscribed inside a square. It’s much more pleasing to the eye if it’s inscribed inside a circle.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 24, 2020, 12:57 pm

The person has other ladles, labelled ladles, for sale, so I’m pretty sure “label” is an amusing brain fart.

Where I worked in the States, we had a 7-legged spider in the smoking area. That thing was there for years, so either it bred a line of 7-leggers or spiders live a super long time.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 24, 2020, 1:28 pm

Sorry I haven’t been around for a couple of days. I woke up on Tuesday to find that I had mysteriously been turned into a frog. Having wasted much of the day sorting that out I was then called to an urgent family picnic just over the border in Kent.

Busy, busy…

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: July 24, 2020, 1:45 pm

T’was midnight in the kitchen
And I had a wicked thirst
I needed a powerful brew that easily through
Satan could do his worst.

Such a concoction I had
That is, if it hadn’t gone weak
T’was fermented Batwing stew and a thing or two
distilled by a defrocked MIT geek

I tried to dip a paper cup
To draw my drink from the vat
But that cup, it burned and ‘twas eaten up.
And I near lost a finger at that.

So I got my ladle of enameled tin
But Sears Best met the same sad fate
Perhaps its painted skin was just too thin
to withstand that Devil’s distillate.

When the Devil is feeling so frisky
Yet a man still needs his drink
He’ll do something risky to get his whisky
But he mustn’t stop too long to think.

So I took Grandmother’s old Crabtree spoon
And soon had carved in some magical runes
I’d nursed from that ladle in me cradle
But tonight I needed a drink and soon.

The vat it bubbled and hissed
And the wood made peculiar smoke
And I swear to this – it smelled like the very Devil’s piss
And the ladle cracked! But it weren’t broke.

So my kin they got hold of that ladle and they sold it away at that
Cause they feared to have it too near
But close near me grows another Crabtree
And soon I’ll have another dip from that vat!

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: July 24, 2020, 5:53 pm

Stoaty? When you and Uncle Badger discovered that the slash marks on your interior house beams were actually a kind of hex marks—wasn’t that considered a good thing? That the original usage was to ward off “evil” not summon it?

I seem to recall that the hex symbols used by the Pennsylvania Dutch (not Dutch) to decorate their barns et cetera were for the same reason: protection against bad spirits. Given that the carved spoon was aquired in Ohio, where there are populations of migrated Pennsylvania Dutch, I think the spoon’s markings were meant to be a positive thing, not evil. I do think the markings were added at some time after the original carving of the spoon (how pretty the handle is) but before the split in the wood. I believe the original craftsman would have made the hex carving deeper and bolder. Wooden spoons were also a highly prized wedding gift, and the decorated handle makes me think it was a gift rather than a simple utilitarian spoon.

And I’d love a hand carved spoon with a hook on it 🙂 I have a very old hand carved spoon that is large and shallow, almost paddle-like. It is also cracked, so we use it to lever bread and biscuit halves out of the toaster. Because JavaMan wants a toasted buttered biscuit every morning with his breakfast.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 24, 2020, 7:15 pm

Yes, that person does have some neat old ladles. I hadn’t thought of the Pennsylvania Dutch connection — perhaps it’s legit after all.

And, yes, hex is a bit of a misnomer. The cool kids call them apotropaic marks.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: July 24, 2020, 7:18 pm

Go for it Stoaty – apart from a flexi steel fritter-smatter I use for pancakes and fried eggs, my go to implements for cooking and serving are wood or bamboo (which is technically a ‘grass’), and we have a, uh, forest of them.

Perhaps I need to carve MAGA 2020 in one of them.

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