web analytics

Not going to lie: Old Christmas looks pretty lit. I’m thinking it was a pagan booze holiday.

Last day of work before Christmas today. That’s usually one of the most awesome days of the year, but 2020 has the power to dampen even that. I’ve had so much time off this year, what’s a few more days?

Still, we are on course for a fine Christmas. We have an obscene amount of food, a beautiful tree, a selection of presents and twelve days of bone idleness ahead.

I like bone idleness. I’m good at it.

I’ll still post, but my heart is with the comfy chair. Talk about whatever you like.

p.s. I’ve looked at the picture some more. Is Pagan Santa wearing a three-toed variant of two-toed shoes?

p.p.s. Wait, did he steal that baby from the house in the background?


Comment from durnedyankee
Time: December 22, 2020, 8:41 pm

Why is it old drawing like this have the creepy air to them.
Is it because the old artists were jaded adults themselves, like I am now?

Is this one of those CIA – find the thing – pictures the Daily Fail has been so high on recently. Took a bit to find the ‘child’, who looks like he might have a beard.

That’s an elf that Old Nick got stoned and now he’s shanghaied him off to the Polar shop to make ‘adult’ toys, that’s what that is.

I can say Shanghaied, right?

And COURSE it’s a booze holiday! You have to get boozed up to keep warm and jump through them winter fires and, uh, wait, I’ve gotten too old to remember, something or other to do with girls, never mind, probably just another thing that Monsignor Shields would send me to hell for doing, or thinking of doing.

Oh, we’re out of VO, I need to go to the packie, I’m not mixing GOOD whiskey with gingerale.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: December 22, 2020, 8:52 pm

Course it would have helped if I wasn’t looking for the baby to be tied in coffle and being led behind the goat.

Durned conqueror genes at work again, that’s what that is.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 22, 2020, 10:04 pm

Idyll thawts…

That goat appears to be eyeing the artist and wanting to chew his nose off.

Hmm. I’m looking at the house in the background, the one the baby was stolen from. Is there such a thing as a dormer on a thatched roof?

In Japan, they have socks with a separation between the big toe and the rest of the toes; they’re used for wearing flip-flops (zoris) in cold weather. If there are TWO separations, like the one in this woodcut, I’m assuming they’re for wearing with flip-flip-flop-flops.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 22, 2020, 11:10 pm

I just learned that those Japanese one-split socks are called tabi. That means two-split socks should be called tatri.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: December 22, 2020, 11:12 pm

That’s the perfect Santa for 2020.

Comment from catnip
Time: December 23, 2020, 7:37 am

Tabis! That’s what everyone (no doubt erroneously) called them. They were a thing in So Cal eons ago. We used to buy them 6 pairs at a time at Chinatown in L.A.. They were very popular at a buck-99 a pair. Not notable for durability, but comfy and just right in winter for teens who’d rather go barefoot than wear shoes or slippers around the house.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: December 23, 2020, 12:04 pm

How do we know that’s not really Thor?
He was big into partying,
and goats.

He was ecologically friendly, had a 2 goat power cart he cruised Valhalla Drive in.

That could be either Tanngrisnir or Tanngnjóstr he’s riding on, and the ‘child’ is the kid of that ungrateful peasant SOB that broke the unseen goat’s leg bone to suck the marrow, leaving him lame when he was resurrected, so Thor took the peasant’s son as a servant (and daughter too, just to be fair you understand) in payment for the crime.

Yep, that’s the story.
Merry Fimbulwinter!

And what’s with the magical star thing all the irreligious media twerps are all excited about – I’m pretty sure the Roman Census occurred in the spring of that year, not at midwinter. Which means…yeah.
Good story though.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 23, 2020, 12:33 pm

@durnedyankee — Re: coffle. A new word (to me). Thanks 1e6!

Comment from peacelovewoodstock
Time: December 23, 2020, 1:46 pm

@Uncle Al @durnedyankee and here I thought ‘coffle’ was just pluperfect subjunctive of ‘covfefe’.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 23, 2020, 2:19 pm

I LIKE this Santa! Not only does he have that big steaming bowl of Wassail (which if I recall is hot mulled cider but not the sissy stuff) but he also has a big jug-o-sumthin for when the cider is gone. He’s my kind of fun guy. I can easily see getting drunk enough for us to be having head butt contests with the goat.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: December 23, 2020, 3:07 pm

@Someveg – Head butting contests with the goat.
If ever there was a “hey y’all! Watch this!” moment to be had.
Because of course it WOULD happen.

So here’s a cautionary video

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 23, 2020, 6:57 pm

Durn Yankee – Thank you! You have Totally Made My Day!

I am, as we speak, in the process of sending this video to all my friends, without any explanation as to why. Sadly, I suspect it won’t even surprise the ones who really know me!

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny