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Side trip

Heh. Cool. I told myself I’d Google image search Nashville and take the first image that popped up. This is it, from a travel site.

Going to see my dad in Nashville today. He was originally supposed to come to Jollye Olde and do the whole father-of-the-stoat thing, but he’s at that awkward age where one broken vertebra leads to another. His dog knocked him over last month and took out his shoulder, which spelled the end of his mobility. He’s still perfectly compos mentis, but he’s gone from a cane to a walker to a wheelchair inside a year. We’ve got to find something for his huge, throbbing weaselbrain to do or it’ll tear itself to pieces on idle.

Weaselbrains are like Lamborghinis. Pre-Chrysler.

Anyhow, my plane leaves at 6, which means I have to be up at three. And I’m checking a six-shooter in my luggage, so that’s always fun. It has to be inside a locked case which is inside a locked case which is inside your luggage — but before you can check it, you have to prove to the ticket agent that it’s unloaded.

That’s no problem with a semi-auto: you transport it completely disassembled. My old S&W 5-screw doesn’t come apart, though. I’ve only done this a couple of times, and I live in fear some security guard across the room will see me pull that thing out of the case and give me two in the hat.

Anyhow — I’m off the grid until late Sunday night. Don’t trash the place!

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2008, 4:40 am

Yay! Up and out in time to see this autopost. See you when I get back. Pray for Charlotte: this is a leeetle too much adventure for a little feral pusso.

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: November 21, 2008, 8:19 am

I know you won’t be answering this, but I’ll ask anyway. You know, for shits and giggles. Why are you taking a gun? Is it because Nashville is run by a left-wing city government, and is therefore a haven for violent crime? Or is it – and I seem to recall you saying something to the effect – that you’re leaving your guns with your Dad?

Sorry to hear he won’t be able to give you away though. I’d’ve payed good money to see that scene in an Anglican church. Especially if he’s half the character your Mum was.

Hope his bones mend, and that you have a nice trip.

Oh, and Nashville looks beautiful.

 


Comment from Nicole
Time: November 21, 2008, 8:45 am

Knowing you won’t be around till Sunday, I’ll ask anyway – the minions around here are pretty alert…

The husband & I are headed out on a road trip that will likely take us through Nashville. Having never been, what would be the number 1 & 2 things to see on a visit? Aren’t planning on staying long, probably a day or less, but that can always change.

We are theoretically headed to Birmingham, AL (no real reason, just picked a city southeast of us within 1 days drive) but can always detour or spend more time somewhere that catches our fancy.

And best wishes to the Weaseldad. And to the poor kitteh. What an exciting time! I would be an absolute wreck with anticipation. πŸ™‚

 


Comment from Gromulin
Time: November 21, 2008, 10:26 am

Never underestimate the toughness of an old coot. Or old weasel, for that matter. (My dad was 64 when I was born)

Have a great trip.

 


Comment from Farmer Joe
Time: November 21, 2008, 10:53 am

Safe trip, Weas.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: November 21, 2008, 11:23 am

Good and safe trip, Wease…and give Papa Wease a smooch on the noggin from us all.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 21, 2008, 1:07 pm

Cant has trash teh plais?

Plz? Wif shoogr onet?

ill b ur fren.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2008, 1:44 pm

Greetings from the Krystal! (It’s kind of like the South’s White Castle. AND IT’S GOT FREE WIFI). I’m about ten minutes from the old Weasel Place and I’ve been up since 3 in the morning and haven’t had a bite. Quick pitstop and mail check.

We were held on the tarmac in Philadelphia for an hour and a half waiting our turn to be de-iced because it was snowing like a bastard. It was eighteen degrees in Providence and it’s thirty in balmy Providence. November twenty first. GODDAMN GLOBAL WARMENING!!!

I’m bringing the gun to leave behind, Gibby. I need ONE six-shooter to my name. I own 58 acres of rattlesnakes an hour and a half out of town.

Depends what you’re into, Nicole. If you like kitsch or country music, you can take your pick. If you’re looking for high culture, you made a wrong turn in Albuquerque. I haven’t spent time here in 30 years and wasn’t in to the tourist stuff when I did.

The residential side of Nashville is actually very nice. With a very few exceptions, it’s entirely a 20th Century town, but the yards are big and the houses are neat. And there are some INCREDIBLY wealthy areas — like where Al Gore lives. My folks’ house is something stupid like 400′ away from being part of that little town.

My favorite cultural attraction was always the Old Colony Cleaners, but only because some jerk kept stealing the “y”.

 


Comment from nbpundit
Time: November 21, 2008, 2:26 pm

Safe and many travel mercies Stoat…
Have funz, and remember the Alamo!!!

 


Comment from bad cat robot
Time: November 21, 2008, 3:00 pm

oo, you have a rattlesnake ranch! Do you brand the little suckers? I bet they don’t herd well … maybe you can train them to be buried-gun-guardians. Given the current situation, you could make a mint!

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: November 21, 2008, 3:28 pm

“My favorite cultural attraction was always the Old Colony Cleaners, but only because some jerk kept stealing the β€œy”.”

*grin*

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: November 21, 2008, 3:54 pm

LOL at “Old Colon-y Cleaners”!

Have fun, Stoaty.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2008, 5:41 pm

Well, I’ll be damned! My dad has wifi!

I wonder if he knows…

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: November 21, 2008, 5:56 pm

Kewl. You can introduce him to all the depraved individuals that post on your site. I’m sure that a forced church session would soon follow…. LOL

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2008, 6:07 pm

Not really. The good news is, my dad’s an atheist. The bad news: he’s a pshrink.

 


Comment from Secret Agent Man
Time: November 21, 2008, 6:11 pm

Memo

Classification: file
Clearance: Top (sublevel 4)

Report: Subject code name “Weasel” used hi-freq. bandwidth (authorization uncertain) to send coded messages to unknown collaborators, intentions unknown.

Location: 36.3305285, -84.6861340 (via WiFi-GPS triang.)

Recommendations: Continue surveillance, Raise Watch Level to 3. Alert Code Div. re “My dad has wifi!”, crash priority.

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: November 21, 2008, 6:15 pm

Well, anyway. I’ve been doing stuff on Icanhazcheezeburger.com the last few days.

http ://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-scubafreak/lolz

http ://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-scubafreak/pics

 


Comment from Secret Agent Man
Time: November 21, 2008, 6:25 pm

Love CRYMFITR CAT. Too funny.

 


Comment from nicole
Time: November 21, 2008, 6:27 pm

Those are great, Scuba. What an adorable little snot he is. πŸ˜›

Meh. Not much into kitsch or country. Guess maybe we’ll do the drive by tour. πŸ™‚

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 21, 2008, 6:29 pm

Oops, forgot to switch out of my ultra-secret alternate identity. Please look at this:

[FLASH!]

Me? I didn’t say anything. Move along.

 


Comment from Mikey NTH
Time: November 21, 2008, 6:38 pm

May fair skies and calm seas go with you on your journey.

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: November 21, 2008, 7:10 pm

Ha! Scuba — I meant to link this for you yesterday.

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: November 21, 2008, 7:24 pm

My house closed! We are celebrating with sushi and a movie sans kids!

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: November 21, 2008, 7:51 pm

Congrats, Dawn! Must be a relief!

It’s all go here at Badger House… I keep trying to explain to The Weasel just how bad I’ve let it get and she keeps saying, “Oh, that doesn’t matter!”.

And we all know what that means, gentlemen, don’t we? πŸ˜‰

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 21, 2008, 8:11 pm

Does the expression “Yes, I know what I said, but seriously, how can you live in this filth?!” sound familiar, UB?

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: November 21, 2008, 9:05 pm

Oh yes, jwp… oh, yes πŸ™‚

Closely followed by a (genuinely puzzled, almost hurt) “Filth…?”

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 21, 2008, 9:15 pm

Exactly. You may eat bizarre things only the French have sauces for, UB, but you are truly one of The Brethren.

We few; we happy few. We band of brothers.

/and it ain’t even St. Swithin’s Day!

 


Comment from grasshopper
Time: November 21, 2008, 11:20 pm

Nicole, depends on what you call kitsch. The Parthenon and Centennial Park are always good; the Frist Center (large art museum downtown) and, believe it or not, the Country Music Hall of Fame are cool to see as well. All those things have come in the last 10 years or so. If you like people-watching, Broadway on friday night/saturday morning is THE place to be. πŸ˜€

 


Comment from nicole
Time: November 22, 2008, 1:30 am

Thanks for the suggestions, grasshopper. πŸ™‚

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 22, 2008, 6:10 am

Not Centennial Park, of course. It was named that because it was dedicated in 1876 to celebrate the nation’s first 100 years. The original Parthenon replica was made of plaster, but it proved so popular that a cement version was made some years later.

A one-third scale model of the Parthenon in pink, blue and beige cement. Gosh, no idea why anyone would call that kitsch.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: November 22, 2008, 7:22 am

You have a gay Parthenon in Nashville?

And I thought all those country pickers were… ummm…. actually, no I didn’t πŸ˜‰

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 22, 2008, 7:25 am

Well, you have to get up behind the columns and look up to see the pink cement. It’s actually pebbledash, Uncle B!

It’s where the stoners used to hang out when I was one. Next door was a Krispy Kreme that was open late and automated. The back was glass and you could see into the kitchen, where donuts would roll down conveyor belts and loving robots would do unspeakable things to them while we watched. You can imagine how endlessly fascinating THAT was at two in the morning.

There’s a monument to one of my ancestors in Centennial Park, us being proto-Nashvillians and all.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: November 22, 2008, 7:53 am

They have a statue a weasel in the park?

How very classy. Is that in pink pebbledash, too?

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 22, 2008, 11:40 am

I cannot believe I had to google “pebbledash” to find out what the hell it was. How can somebody live for half a century and not know what the exterior walls of every public building built in the past five decades consisted of?

I will now commit seppuku; I cannot live with this shame.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 22, 2008, 11:40 am

After cartoons are over, of course.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 22, 2008, 11:45 am

I don’t know that we call it that, jw. It’s a word I picked up off’n Uncle B. His house in London was pebbeldash.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: November 22, 2008, 12:17 pm

Bastard global warming! It’s not even dark yet and the heater in my (insulated with bubblewarp) greenhouse has just switched on as the temperature within skitters down towards freezing.

Front page of most of the papers today had ‘Britain colder than Moscow’ on the front page.

Someone tell that crook Al Gore, will they?

 


Comment from Jill
Time: November 22, 2008, 12:22 pm

At first I thought pebbledash was a concrete mix with a high aggregate content, but no! It seems like it’s merely stucco with crushed stone or small stones imbedded into the finish.

Kinda like you frost a cake with chocolate icing and then push chopped almonds around the sides…mmmm…whass fo’ breffuss round here? πŸ™‚

Wease, I’m glad Papa Weasel is still compost mentos.
That’s how it pops up in my wee noggin, anyhoo.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 22, 2008, 12:54 pm

compost mentos is better than being a rotten hog person.

Okay, I’ll ‘splain:

rotten hog= hog rotten
hog rotten= au gratin
(this from my dad, who called them rotten hog potatoes)

Upon which I extended the chain of tomfoolery thus:
persona au gratin = persona non grata

/Take that, Cockney word manglers!

/and yes, I’ve always had entirely too much time on my hands

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 22, 2008, 1:16 pm

Things I Think About So You Don’t Have To

#27: We never say “Zounds!” anymore. Why not?

 


Comment from Allen
Time: November 22, 2008, 1:33 pm

Gadzooks! I haven’t thought of “zounds” in years. πŸ™‚

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 22, 2008, 2:09 pm

See? There’s another dismal reminder of the impoverished state of modern English. Gadzooks and zounds, we hardly knew ye.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 22, 2008, 2:28 pm

I’m a couple of miles from Al Gore at the moment, assuming he’s in town. Hm. I should get my stepmother to drive me by.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 22, 2008, 2:45 pm

No, Weasel! No!

However tempting a drive-by on Al Gore—which, in a rational world, would result in an outpouring of thanks from a grateful nation—might seem right now, in truth it can only lead to heartbreak.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 22, 2008, 3:26 pm

I asked her to drive me by for a picture, and she said good luck. Secret Service up in the trees, she says.

Heh. We’ll see.

 


Comment from harbqll
Time: November 22, 2008, 3:59 pm

Don’t forget to bring gifts. I understand they require a tribute of some kind when you go to question the Goreacle.

Be sure to get next year’s football scores out of him. I figure any guy who can tell me how hot summer’s going to be in 2025 *has* to be good for the 2009 Superbowl.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 22, 2008, 4:11 pm

I got a gift for him. Gindando.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 22, 2008, 6:03 pm

Heh. My stepmother gave me the Political Tour of Belle Meade. We drove up and down the street in front of Al’s house slowly while I took pitchers. I was scared shitless. I didn’t have my good camera, so I didn’t get any good pictures, I feel sure. It’ll have to wait until I’m home, anyhow — I don’t have the card reader here.

Al’s house is nice enough. So is Lamar Alexander’s (Tennessee Senator). But Bill Frist’s house is fucking HUGE.

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: November 22, 2008, 11:40 pm

Stoatie, be carefull. AlGore might corner you and lecture you on the evils of ManBearPig………. πŸ˜‰

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: November 23, 2008, 8:50 am

Yeah, go and punch that shyster in the throat whilst you’re there. It was brass monkeys last night. Global Warming my arse.

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: November 23, 2008, 9:20 pm

OK,serious question. Does anyone know what I can smear on Schroedinger to make a fox not want to eat him? I walked out the front door this morning and came face to face with a big red fox on the sidewalk in front of my house.

πŸ™

I don’t want the fox hurt or relocated, because I rather like them. Unfortunately, they are known to take kittehs when they get hungry, and this one looked hungry.

 

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