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Beer of the Day: Adnam’s Broadside

Beer: Broadside Strong Original
Brewery: Adnams
Alcohol: 6.3%
Pros: 6.3%!!!
Cons: Hippies.

I confess. It was the alcohol content that caught my eye on this one. But it was a nice dark red color, so it went in the basket.

Adnam’s brewery is in Southwold, a little fishing village up the coast from London. Well, it was a little fishing village. Now it’s a little yuppie village, I gather. The first record of brewing at the Swan Inn dates to 1345, when Johanna de Corby was fined for selling beer in unmarked measures (weights and measures legislation in the UK goes back kzillions of years; she was probably selling unmarked buckets o’ beer).

The whole town burned to the ground in 1659 and the Swan was rebuilt the following year. So it’s kind of the New Swan. The brewery is still in the yard behind.

A Google search for Adnam’s turns up their site with the phantom description: “A traditional brewer of classic English beer, with a very modern web site, with more style than substance (the beers have both).” That odd sentence must have been from an early “holding” page before the site went live. Bad idea.

The actual web site is worse. It’s a great smelly load of hippie marketing bollocks. Like, the Our Values page, which shows a row of pebbles with words like “sustainability” and “diversity” and “community” embossed on them, and you click the pebbles to learn that “we want fulfilled customers and employees, whose lives are enriched by their involvement with Adnams” and “we aim to manage our impact positively on the social, natural, and built environment.” The built environment. That’s a new one.

Then there’s their Too Much of a Good Thing campaign.

Confident that great beers and distinctive wines enhance the quality of life, we are determined to promote their sale in responsible ways. Our aim is to encourage more people to drink Adnams, not for individuals to drink more – and all our marketing is consistent with that approach.

During the past year we have also worked closely with local organisations and young people to produce informative ‘alco-cards’ and an educational video (partly financed by a grant from Arts & Business), undertaken widespread staff training, held discussions with our pub tenants and the police, produced clear and informative leaflets and devised a subtle variant on our ‘Beer from the Coast’ campaign.

Further work is in hand to improve the clarity of information on the back labels of our beers and wines. All of which is brought together with a simple strapline – ‘Remember, you can have too much of a good thing’.

Informative alco-cards. Sweet Jesus, I need a drink.

The beer? Oh. Strong, very bitter. I liked it. I don’t know why I keep buying a beverage called “bitters” and reacting with shock, “hey, this stuff is bitter!” I would have given it three and a half drunken weasels, but I took half a drunken weasel away because…you know. Hippies.


  three drunken weasels.


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 22, 2007, 8:03 am

“…held discussions with our pub tenants and the police,…”

They have tenants in their pub? Tenants! You can LIVE in a pub in GB?! Oh – it hippy stuff. Probably no bathing facilities. I can understand the police involvement, too.

GB is definitely not Kansas, even ignoring the fact they drive on the wrong side of the road and drink their beer too warm.

Comment from mesablue
Time: May 22, 2007, 9:39 am

Hippies can concentrate long enough to make beer? The hippies around here are a couple of rungs below the skateboarders in the social order. They can’t walk and hold their pants up at the same time, let alone make beer.

Great slogan —

How’s your beer?(grinning like idiot) Smells like Hippies!

You should write them a letter about how much you enjoyed their beer — on a kitten pelt.

Comment from whitishrabbit
Time: May 22, 2007, 12:41 pm

It’s a nice lookin’ bottle.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: May 22, 2007, 1:09 pm

I bet the Adnams Brewery has employed some of the local yuppies to do their marketing. Or the grown-ups retired and left the kids in charge.

Comment from Lokki
Time: May 22, 2007, 3:33 pm

My bet is with Uncle Badger.

This is the brewery-variation of my ‘Never-eat-at-a-fancy-Chinese-Restaurant” theory.
There’s was a ratty old Chinese restaurant in a town near you. You loved it. The old man was a great cook. He never fixed up the place because he had to send the kid to college.

After the kid graduates from management school he convinces dad to take his retirement savings and build a beautiful new restaurant.

After the new place opens, Dad takes one look at the new kitchen and listens to the kid’s theories on the menu for a bout a week before he said says “I can’t cook that stuff, and I don’t know how to use all this fancy Kitchen equipment.” He retires.

The kid knows everything about businesss and nothing about cooking and two years later the beautiful new Restaurant is closed.

Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: May 22, 2007, 5:15 pm

Man, I had a one-up the Weasel website, but I can’t get it to open up 🙁 It was stopclownporn.org Looked “interesting” anyway, sniff, guess I’ll never know.

Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: May 22, 2007, 5:16 pm

That was meant to be a frowny face weasel, but it looks a lot like the smiley face weasel.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 22, 2007, 5:23 pm

Yeah. Frowny face, smiley face, thoughtful face, Christmas morning face, constipated face…really, it’s all the same to weasels.

Comment from Pupster
Time: May 22, 2007, 5:40 pm

I’m not getting the whole drunken weasels scale, is it out of 5, or best of 7? Did I miss a memo?

I’ve never been…do the natives drink their bitter beer cold?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 22, 2007, 5:56 pm

They drink their beer in pubs slightly colder than room temperature: cellar temperature. Not warm, not cold. At home, I assume most people put it in the fridge. I certainly do.

And the weasels? I was vaguely imagining a five weasel scale, but no point overthinking it. I just wanted an excuse to draw drunken weasels. It’s hard to draw things with my touchpad, or I would have treated you to a half weasel making a little puddle of sick.

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