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Every 16th Century farmhouse…

weasel's new tv

…needs a 40″ widescreen TV.

Okay, this isn’t quite the act of aesthetic vandalism it looks. Instead of having a big glommy tube television perched like a shrine in the focal point of the room, this will fold flat against the wall when we aren’t watching it. And…display a slideshow of classic Tudor portraits, or some shit.

And it isn’t quite the act of devil-may-care profligacy it looks, either. Uncle B’s been saving for quite some time. It’s amazing the sweet deals you can get in the teeth of a global financial meltdown!

Me, I played this one just right. “A widescreen TV?” I yawned, languidly flashing a full set of gleaming weaselfangs, “oh, I guess that would be okay. I guess.”

Hahaha! Stoopit badger! I’m a Namerican! The moment he hit the ON switch, I *pwned* that sucker. My eyeballs stuck to that big boy like duct tape sticks to duct tape. Eet ees so verra verra beeeg and shiiiiiiny!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to watch the latest installment of CSI:Pulaski. Or the Wheelbarrow Channel. Or…whatever. Does it fucking matter?

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: December 22, 2008, 9:33 pm

You’ll find me in the greenhouse…

 


Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: December 22, 2008, 9:45 pm

I just got my first big screen on Friday as a gift. In the past, whenever I went to buy one, I ended up getting a cheap old-fashioned one instead. I now have like 30 of them! It’s great watching TV without glasses now. Mine is just 32 inches, I can’t imagine 40.

 


Comment from jw
Time: December 22, 2008, 10:20 pm

Um, maybe you could find a channel that has all Margaret Calvert all the time…yanno, explaining the theory, relevancy, intracasies, and nuances of her signs. Just saying.

WHAT?

*ducks n’ runs*

 


Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: December 22, 2008, 10:49 pm

Not worth the money if Ipswich isn’t in the Premier League!

And doesn’t BBC 2 show those “What the Tudors Gave Us” programs??

 


Comment from Red State Witch
Time: December 23, 2008, 1:03 am

I wish they still had test patterns. That would SO rule on a big screen.

 


Comment from Chef Mojo
Time: December 23, 2008, 1:24 am

Do they still have that wacky TV license thing in Merry Ol’ these days? When I lived there, they sent freaking radar trucks or some shit around, and would bust you for watching TV without a license. A TV license is up there bouncing around inside my definition of “absurd.”

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: December 23, 2008, 3:23 am

“Do they still have that wacky TV license thing in Merry Ol’ these days? When I lived there, they sent freaking radar trucks or some shit around, and would bust you for watching TV without a license.”

Yup! But there’s a growing band of people who are no longer prepared to put up with it:

http://uk-tvlicensing-resistance.co.nr/

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: December 23, 2008, 3:34 am

“And doesn’t BBC 2 show those “What the Tudors Gave Us” programs??”

Indeed. And after debuting on BBC2, they end up on the UK History satellite channel, to be repeated ad infinitum.

Actually, on Sunday, the UK Food channel was showing a ‘cooking Tudor style’ programme, set in the only large manor house with a working kitchen, but I can’t remember the name of the place. Oddly enough, it wasn’t made by the usual band of tv chefs, but by historians, who dressed up for the event as well.

It was the kind of banquet that began ‘First, send a few ships off to the Spice Islands. Then, if any make it back….’.

Utterly fascinating, so much so we stopped the great Christmas Clean Up to watch. Seeing a historian presented with a dead peacock, to be skinned and stretched over a wire frame covering a pie made of its innards, was just the thing to get you in the Christmas mood!

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: December 23, 2008, 5:36 am

Details, for anyone interested in catching it on the next showing:

http://movie-tv-episode-database.com/cookery/a-tudor-feast-at-christmas-584241/

 


Comment from Scott
Time: December 23, 2008, 9:13 am

Gods, I bet Dr. Who looks so very pretty in High Def…

*sigh*

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: December 23, 2008, 9:50 am

Nice tee-vee. I can testify as to the greatness of the Sony Bravia range. My Dad just got himself a 52 incher.

Now all you need is an Xbox 360, a copy of Fallout 3, an HDMI cable (or a VGA cable), a big comfy chair, a fridge full of ale, and a larder full of salty, monosodium glutamatey, artificial-flavoury snacks and you’ll be hot to trot.

Don’t forget to buy (or renew) your TV License. Otherwise the Para-military arm of the BBC will send one of their ‘fleet’ (one of three or four) of vans around – vans which contain super-secret, immutable-laws-of-physics-shattering exotic alien technology – and its inhabitant (Ron, I think he’s called) will take you to Room 101 in the Ministry of Truth (otherwise known as Broadcasting House) and extract a confession (and most of your teeth) from you.

‘Yes! Yes, I was receiving broadcast TV without owning an anachronistic license! 2 + 2 = 5! We’ve always been at war with Eastasia! I love The Party!’

 


Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: December 23, 2008, 10:04 am

Gibby Haynes, I was under the impression that the Brits had to extract their own teeth owing to the Heath Service lack of dentists, my bad.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: December 23, 2008, 10:14 am

Oh, believe me, Gibby, I’ve already stood watching while her Ladyship hurled a fearsomely real-looking Subaru around a racetrack, in some ghastly computer fantasyland, where maddened stoats are allowed to race motor cars.

I can see games in my future… Still, if it lets me get on with Other Stuff..

Actually, I am still uncertain about this whole enterprise. The picture is impressive (even from non-HD sources) and the sound is surprisingly good, given the tiny speakers.

But as I stumbled downstairs this morning to find that some clumsy astronaut had left the monolith next to the inglenook, I couldn’t help thinking it dominates the room in a rather bombastic way.

Later tonight, when I am good and drunk and sitting, goggled-eyed in worship of the alien technology, no doubt I’ll think differently.

Then again, I might just sneak a dongle into the brute and inoculate it with an endless slide show of fine, handsome badgers, going about their badgery business.

That’d give ol’ Stoatie something to think about.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 23, 2008, 10:30 am

I think Uncle B recorded that Tudor cooking one for later, Julia.

I don’t think my funky old laptop is up to games. And my desktop machine (which is also elderly) is squoze in a container in the middle of the Atlantic somewhere. Still, I’d give a lot to play through HalfLifeII on this lovely bit o’ gear.

 


Comment from Scott
Time: December 23, 2008, 1:20 pm

“Now all you need is an Xbox 360, a copy of Fallout 3, an HDMI cable (or a VGA cable)”
The included Component cabled will also deliver full HD.

Weasel, did you know that Valve released all current HalfLife II games for the 360? It’s called The Orange Box, and it also has Portal, which if you haven’t played, I think you’d enjoy…

 


Comment from Jill
Time: December 23, 2008, 4:49 pm

I was wondering if we could shelve Islamic Rage Boy until after the holidays…he’s not very festive.

If not shelve, then maybe substitute the pancake with a Santa hat.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 23, 2008, 5:13 pm

Put up the pancake rabbit!

http://images.google.com/images?q=pancake+rabbit&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title

and if that doesn’t work, Google “pancake rabbit”.

*Oh mighty Akismet, ignore this unworthy servant and his unworthy comment as he shambles through life*

 


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: December 23, 2008, 5:59 pm

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to watch the latest installment of CSI:Pulaski. Or the Wheelbarrow Channel. Or…whatever. Does it fucking matter?”

– I guess the medium is still the message, eh? I’d like to know how it looks with a computer hooked to it.

“I was wondering if we could shelve Islamic Rage Boy until after the holidays…he’s not very festive.”

– I want Zombie Reagan back…nothing like zombies for xmas…I’m getting Left 4 Dead PC game…might have to upgrade 🙂

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 23, 2008, 6:32 pm

Just for Jill. IRB smoochies!

Quasimodo, I’m dying to see my computer hooked up to it. We can’t seem to turn up a VGA lead for it,so that’ll have to wait.

 


Comment from nbpundit
Time: December 23, 2008, 7:09 pm

Telly should be outlawed….

 


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: December 23, 2008, 7:10 pm

Well, let us know how it looks when you get it hooked up.

Santa going to get you Photoshop CS4 as well? 🙂

 


Comment from Randy Rager
Time: December 23, 2008, 7:59 pm

Weasel, as a Murrican, it is your God given right to insist on 24/7 widescreen hi-def pr0n.

Actually, I think it might be your duty. 😉

 


Comment from Pardes
Time: December 23, 2008, 9:08 pm

Ahhhhh another entry. I feel better now and I just had such fun tweaking your blog with my shiny new Stumble button.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: December 23, 2008, 9:36 pm

Heh, welcome to the big assed HDTV club! Ya’ll are gonna love hooking up your computer to that thing – the interwebberytubes will look HUGE. Now you get the home theater sound system and blu-ray player and then y’all will be all set!

The new IRB rocks!

 


Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: December 24, 2008, 12:50 am

Your computer doesn’t have an s-video jack? I can’t believe the TV doesn’t…

As for AV leads… Maybe you should check Amazon.uk.co (or is that Amazon.co.uk? Damn limey system) or check Monoprice.com and see if they ship across the pond? Or ship it to me and I’ll post it to the UK gratis. My x-mas gift to you…

 

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