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Suggestions?

hymnal

 

 

Last meeting with the vicar today; the order of service. This is where we pick out hymns and all. It was rather sweet, actually. She sat on the couch and hummed religious tunes to us for an hour.

I have ascertained that there is not a hymn called “O Holy Shit!” Nor one called “Dear Sweet Jesus, How the Hell Did I Get Here?” after which I was completely stumped.

I think the vicar thinks I’m a sweet, shy thing, on account of I don’t say much. But, really, I don’t recognize any part of this. I was raised a Presbyterian which, it turns out, shares almost none of the hymnbook with the CofE.

Like I remember the Presbyterian hymnal.

 

 

 

 

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 22, 2009, 9:58 pm

Oops! I hit “publish” on that prematurely, on account of I have been drinking and singing spirituals.

Anyhow, my great-grandfather wrote a hymn in the standard Presbyterian hymnal. Damned if I know what it is, though.

 


Comment from Red State Witch
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:05 pm

I was raised in the Southern Baptist Church, educated in Catholic schools (can still say the prayers in Latin), and now practice the Wiccan faith as a Priest of the Old Religion. Imagine the music that runs through my fevered brain…

Perhaps you could ask for “O, Come, All Ye Faithful” without smirking.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:18 pm

Suggestions?

Um…

“FREE BIRRRRRRD!!!”

🙂

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:19 pm

“Ezekial Saw the Wheel” is a favorite. I love the old cotton-pickin’ tunes.

My first illustrator’s job was with the Southern Baptist Sunday School Convention, mostly because Nashville (where they are headquartered) was my hometown. I illustrated the old peoples’ Sunday school pamphlet. It was pretty condescending and ick.

Can I give you guys a HORRIBLE brainworm? My mom taught me to amuse myself during church by inserting the words “between the sheets” into the middle of the hymn titles. Try it.

O River of Blood Between the Sheets is a favorite.

Love Lifted Me Between the Sheets.

Thanks, Mom!

 


Comment from Matt P
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:32 pm

There is a newer hymn in the Methodist Hymnal entitled “Quiet Frenzied Unclean Spirit”….

Hmmn maybe not…

What about “All Creatures Great and Small” — Very Bager/Weasel friendly.

Or “All Creatures of our God and King” — its attributed to St. Francis who was a big fan of all the animals.

ps Adding between the sheets to my first suggestion is a disturbing idea.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:40 pm

Ooooh! MattP, you psychic, you! We have selected “All Creatures of our God and King” as one of our three. Or maybe four.

 


Comment from Gnus
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:43 pm

Amazing Grace could be good… ‘specially if your name was Grace.

I taught music schools at teeny Baptist churches one summer. For the Tennessee Baptist Convention. For the life of me I can’t think of a single hymn, ‘ceptin’ the above. Or Love Lifted Me. Needless to say, it’s been a while.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:44 pm

Thank you, Matt! That was a very welcome suggestion.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:46 pm

Amazing Grace came up in conversation. My dad played it on the bagpipes at somebody famous’ daughters wedding in Nashville once, but dipped if I can remember who. My dad’s kind of a crap bagpiper, so I’m guessing that didn’t go well.

“How Tedious and Tasteless the Hours” was a family favorite, but only because we had it on a Reginaphone disc and it was pretty bizarre for a hymn.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 22, 2009, 10:49 pm

Of course (being a bit of an early music nut) one of the badger’s choices was that ol’ 13th century rouser ‘O Come, O Come, Emmanuel’

Seems that’s regarded as a bit OT and not ‘on message’ for a wedding.

Shame. I really, like the haunting tune.

 


Comment from See-Dubya
Time: January 23, 2009, 12:37 am

I’m a big fan of this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpnKzEELgT8.

In case you wondered why God made the Welsh.

 


Comment from See-Dubya
Time: January 23, 2009, 12:39 am

And we mustn’t forget that old American classic, O-mazing Grace: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lHHQu4CIos

 


Comment from Lemur King
Time: January 23, 2009, 1:45 am

You could just flaunt all convention and have them do a rendition of T. Rex, Get It On and see what they make of that.

Relevance? None. Fun to watch people’s faces? Oh yeah.

See, if it were up to guys a wedding would consist of somewhere between six and ten people, a couple of packs of beer, and some kind of dead animal flesh to put on the grill. “Do you?” Yep. “Do you?” Sure. “All right… kiss her… ok, that’s enough now… give her a swat on the ass, and lets fire that sucker up, I’m hungry.”

Maybe that was just in Oregon though.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: January 23, 2009, 2:02 am

How about “In the Garden of Eden” by I. Ron Butterfly?

 


Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: January 23, 2009, 5:59 am

I take it you couldn’t find “Let This Tragedy Begin” or “Lets Get This Train Wreck Started”?

🙂

I kid, because I love…

Or because I’m an asshole. I dunno which. 🙂

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 23, 2009, 8:43 am

I did suggest The Cuckoo Song ( http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nNjPgE1muTM ) for when we walk out, but it didn’t get the rapturous reception I’d been hoping for.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 23, 2009, 8:47 am

Ha! One miserable link and I get to share my lunch with Akismet!

 


Comment from glenster
Time: January 23, 2009, 9:53 am

Hmmmmm, perhaps you could tell the vicar you’re partial to ursines with vision problems, and ask to sing “Gladly The Cross-Eyed Bear”…

Stoaty, back in 1982 or so, I was offered a job with the Baptist Sunday School Board as an editor – I turned it down because I didn’t want to move to Nashville!

 


Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: January 23, 2009, 10:12 am

In the Ancient and Traditional vein (if at the risk of raising the Irish Question!), how about Be Thou My Vision?

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: January 23, 2009, 12:56 pm

Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam? I can remember really belting that out in Sunday School.

 


Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: January 23, 2009, 1:05 pm

Ooooh! MattP, you psychic, you! We have selected “All Creatures of our God and King” as one of our three. Or maybe four.

If you’re a Rowan Atkinson fan, go to YouTube and search for this song along with “Mr. Bean”. That’s where I first heard it, then my dad discovered we had it in our songbook as well. My brother and I couldn’t keep from snickering when he led it the next Sunday.

“Mrrrmrrrmmmmrrrm mmrmmrmmiiiiiiiing… AAAAAAAAALLELUUUUIA!!!!”

I’d do it myself and post a link (and brave the dragons of Akismet along the way) but YouTube’s blocked from work so it’s a no-go.

 


Comment from bad cat robot
Time: January 23, 2009, 1:22 pm

“Abide with Me” is topical, no? I dunno, I stay out of them scary churches. If I cross the threshold they, or I, will probably burst into flames. This agitates people.

 


Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: January 23, 2009, 1:27 pm

If I cross the threshold they, or I, will probably burst into flames.

I had a roommate who said this every time I invited him, or even mentioned I was going. 😆

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: January 23, 2009, 2:10 pm

May I add my suggestion?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYbUCvz1LYE

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 23, 2009, 4:10 pm

Thanks for the suggestions, folks 🙂

 


Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: January 23, 2009, 5:02 pm

I did suggest The Cuckoo Song for when we walk out

What, are there copyright issues with the following?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

🙂

For the record, I dream of that being the “walking out music” if I get married, with Liberty Bells being used for when the bride walks down to the alter/dais/stone table/whatever is it we have up front where I’ll be waiting as she takes her own sweet-fucking-time.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: January 23, 2009, 5:29 pm

There’s always this little ditty:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHVmtZFYaKo

 


Comment from Jill
Time: January 23, 2009, 5:31 pm

NOT spam!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHVmtZFYaKo

 


Comment from Jill
Time: January 23, 2009, 5:31 pm

Akismet, you BITCH. Give me my posts back.

🙂

 


Comment from XBradTC
Time: January 23, 2009, 6:58 pm

I actually got my church book club to sing this once. Once.

http://www.flyingfists.org/archives/003114.html

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 23, 2009, 7:05 pm

I like the bagpipe version of “Amazing Grace” played toward the end of the remake of Invasion of the Body-Snatchers (the Donald Sutherland one). As an atheist, I have a rather short list of favorite hymns, but “How Great Thou Art” (done by The Statler Brothers) is teh excellent.

Oh, and “Red Clay Halo” is muy good, too, but somehow I don’t think there’s much bluegrass in that hymnal.

 


Comment from See-Dubya
Time: January 24, 2009, 1:01 am

*Any* hymn done by the Statler Brothers is excellent.

Even “How Great Thou Art”.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 24, 2009, 1:39 am

How ’bout “They Wouldn’t Burn” by the Statler Bros? Man, I love that song!

 


Comment from See-Dubya
Time: January 25, 2009, 12:15 am

Good one too, from the same outstanding record–though it’s actually called “The Fourth Man”. I don’t think the record has ever come out on CD but I digitized it and I’ve got it on mp3. My favorite from it is “Pass Me Not”–Phil the tenor is already way up there, and then he just screams it up almost another octave. It’s a little eerie, actually, which is unusual for the Statlers.

 


Comment from Matt P
Time: January 25, 2009, 10:40 am

I’m not sure if it would be in that hymnal but for some reason “Hymn of Promise” came to mind, I’d never thought of it as a wedding hymn but I think it works — it was inspired by a T.S. Elliot poem which I think is pretty cool, but to each his/her own. I’ll post the lyrics because I fear Akismet the Great and Terrible (and fear of the Akismet is the beginning of wisdom — I think that I read that in the Psalms Psomewhere.)

Hymn of Promise (Natalie A. Sleeth)
In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: January 25, 2009, 11:43 am

What about Morning Has Broken?

(My parents once attended a wedding at which a small band played and sang Morning Has Broken. They finished the song before the bride made it all the way down the aisle, and according to my parents, the band exchanged a panicked look, then the band leader shouted, “One more time!” and started the song over from the beginning. My parents had a very hard time not laughing.)

I love O Come, O Come, Emmanuel as well, but yeah, that is a little off-topic for a wedding.

Your hymnal may also have that bit from Corinthians…you know, “love is not jealous, love is kind,” etc., etc….set to music.

 


Comment from Matt P
Time: January 25, 2009, 5:10 pm

Oh and a suggestion thats a bit off topic… use something from song of solomon as your scripture

 


Comment from Matt P
Time: January 25, 2009, 5:15 pm

A suggestion that is a bit off topic (its the last one I’ll make…) use something from Song of Solomon as your scripture perhaps:

Song of Solomon 4:5
Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies.

Actually I was thinking more like:

SoS 8:6 Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

7 Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

Its a bit more passionate than the Corinthian passage (which isn’t about marriage anyway).

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: January 26, 2009, 6:23 pm

This is probably a hate-crime these days, but, well, it’s got to be…Jerusalem.

 

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