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Newts to you…


Uncle B informed me yesterday there are no turtles in England. No turtles. Anywhere. In England!

I’m speechless.

No turtles. No raccoons. No possums. No chipmunks. No skunks. No hummingbirds. It’s a vast black hole. There goes my whole damn recipe book!


Comment from Allen
Time: February 28, 2009, 10:15 pm

My ladyfriend has a breeding pair of Desert Tortoises on her property. It’s really cool, they hibernate in the winter.

One thing I knew was that a Desrt Tortoise has a one square mile range; the second thing I didn’t know was that my ladyfriend has that much land. Hmmm, wanna buy some creosote?

BTW you can get a sunburn watching turtles making baby turtles…It’s a slow process.

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: February 28, 2009, 11:00 pm

For, lo, the winter is past,

the rain is over and gone;
the flowers appear on the earth;

the time of the singing of birds is come,
and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

. . . or not.

Comment from Desert Tortoise Hooker
Time: February 28, 2009, 11:54 pm










Comment from Joanna
Time: March 1, 2009, 12:47 am

Mrs. Hill: A, that verse refers to turtledoves, not actual turtles; and B, it was written in ancient Israel. So, there’s that.

I thought there were turtles in England? Or at least tortoises? I believe you that you say they’re not there; I’m just surprised. Doesn’t one of the Just So Stories refer to having “hedgehogs and tortoises in the garden back home”?

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: March 1, 2009, 3:04 am

Well, yes, ahem, Song of Solomon, Ancient Israel, and all that, but it . . . I was just . . . Oh, never mind.

Doesn’t one of the Just So Stories refer to having “hedgehogs and tortoises in the garden back home”?

The Beginning of the Armadilloes? (Or more accurately, near the end — the last page, I think, at least in my copy.) But were those natives or exotic pets? (The tortoises, not the hedgies, that is.) If there aren’t any natives, I can certainly understand their wanting to import some. After all, what is Spring without the crepuscular chorus of . . . right. Never mind.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: March 1, 2009, 4:27 am

Don’t worry, Stoatie, you can always order Geoducks and Nutria on the internet…. 😉

Comment from JuliaM
Time: March 1, 2009, 7:07 am

“I thought there were turtles in England? Or at least tortoises?”

We’re pretty short on native reptiles, sadly. The climate’s not the best for them. Those who keep them as pets do let them roam in gardens in summer, though, usually leading to at least on ‘silly season’ story about slow escapees.

And there’s the introduced species, like the red-eared terrapins that have survived – at one point, the lake in Regent’s Park had to be cleared of them, as they were becoming a bit of a nuisance.

Still, we’re better off than Ireland! 🙂

Comment from naleta
Time: March 1, 2009, 11:46 am

“There goes my whole damn recipe book!”

LOL 😀 I realize that flattened cat just doesn’t have the same piquancy as flattened skunk, but if you add enough garlic and onion, it will still taste ok. ROFLMAO

Comment from bad cat robot
Time: March 1, 2009, 12:50 pm

The splendor that is the geoduck, here: http://wdfw.wa.gov/fish/shelfish/beachreg/2clam.htm

Logically, this should be safe for work but I am afraid you might spend hours explaining to HR the visual similarity between a clam’s siphon and … other things. I don’t know if it would help to point out it is a government site, the way things are going.

When I was a wee robot clamming for young geoducks (the adults are in deep water, and nonmoving) was quite the sport. It takes strategy, see, since the young ones can dig very fast and escape.

Comment from Jill
Time: March 1, 2009, 4:13 pm

(furiously deleting list of armadillo recipes for newlyweds to be sent to Stoaty)

Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: March 2, 2009, 1:16 pm

Still, we’re better off than Ireland! 🙂

Didn’t some guy in a funny hat chase off all the native reptiles thereabouts?

Comment from Jill
Time: March 2, 2009, 3:18 pm

“Don’t make me turn this car around…”


Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: March 3, 2009, 2:16 pm

😆 That’s awesome.

Comment from some vegetable
Time: August 11, 2011, 1:02 pm

But, but if it’s turtles all the way down, and there ARE no turtles, what keeps England from sinking into the sea? Oh, and now I know what happened to Atlantis. 🙂

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