sweasel.com

Ok, Weasel, I’m holding that happy thought.

But did you see the watermarks on that vault? It’s been near full – more than once.

Also, did you note that the car is still “centered” in the vault? It has not moved.

If they really “sealed” the car packaging – we’re talking water-tight – then it would have floated around in there when it was full or nearly so. I think.

Ergo – it’s been soaked and should have a rich, juicy soaked vinyl smell. And be completely rotted out inside.

I’ll wager two bunny butts on a stick against a fifth of Ol’ Brainstem that its totaled. Hope its not, though.

Um – correction: I’m not sure if vinyl had been invented way back then. Memory fails, and I’m not gonna look it up. So – a rich, juicy rotted-cloth smell might be more accurate.

Why do I get the feeling this is going to turn out like Al Capone’s vault?

Tulsa, OK and I have a history and let’s just say I don’t like the guy.

Vinyl was invented in 1920, so you’re good McGoo.

Didn’t think vinyl was that old. Neat. But it’ll still be rotten/degraded/de-polymerized/whatever from immersion.

I would expect that car interior to smell more or less like delicately sun-ripened fish offal and a piece of chedder cheese that has long since gone to its reward – with a touch of tennis shoe, perhaps, just for balance.

A history? Hmmm…

Well, they greased it and wrapped it in two layers of plastic. Plus, it’s been sitting up on support beams (they’re hoping that’s why the water is rusty). Hard to imagine that being enough to get it through five decades of regular dunkings (and freezings), though.

That’s what I was thinking. But they wouldn’t grease the interior, would they? Shoulda dipped the whole thing in cosmoline first – or last. Or both.

We shall see…

Jimmy Hoffa?

There’s waterproofing, and then there’s WATERPROOFING.

However, I suspect that this car only got waterproofing. Hey, they were busy at a party when they buried it. What did you expect?

Anyhow, the word on the street about 57 Plymouths is that they came out of the factory with rust, standard.

3 Bunny Butts to your fifth of old Grandad’s everclear says that it’ll be too pathetic to show the public.

The only way that Boyd Coddington could clean the thing is with a fire hose, and that will destroy the last remnant entirely.

Better not to show us the corpse. Let us keep our memories of Beaver’s Dad driving one down happy lane.

See, this is why I have to do so much research to play here. I was born the year before Jimmy Hoffa disappeared. I don’t even really understand why he was so important.

Jimmy Hoffa is important because the bump he makes in the End zone in Giants Stadium has affected the outcome of the game a few times. You’re looking over your shoulder at the football, and that darned bump throws your balance off just as you’re about to catch. Ask me, I know.

Beaver’s Dad? Ol’ Ward Cleaver? Is he still kicking? Whoa…

Lokki – they can’t move Hoffa from the end zone: It’s a national GPS reference point. Everyone would get lost…

I might have made that up. But it *should* be true.

Oh – and no takers on the bet: that ’57 is iron oxide, vinyl monomers, and slime muccus by now. I bet they’re crapping wolverines (that’s a medical term) as we speak – worrying about the dud show they’re about to have. I may have to tune in and bask in the glory of predictatory delight. I made that word up, I think.

And Dawn – like jwp over at Pirate Ballerina says: “If you can’t keep up, take notes.” It’s all in the class handouts, too. This WILL be on the final exam.

Mucus. Mucus. I even looked it up – and then forgot to correct. This widdle wabbit has gone tharn.

That came out wrong, Dawn. Permission to retract, with apologies?

I truly have gone tharn. Nap time.

That’s Okay McGoo. You just made me google tharn and now I will have to read Watership Down because 876 people on amazon gave it 4+ stars. I bought a copy for a penny.

Rule #6 ~ That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

From the pictures after they took it out of the vault, they covered the car, not wrapped it.

It’s slimy toast.

What they need to do is find a mint 57 Belvedere and swap it before the unveiling.

True story, a buddy of mine bought the building that the old Rialto Cafe near Detroit used to be in to open up a bar. The Rialto was renowned as a hangout for the Purple Gang, Jewish mafia back in the old days. When they were remodeling they found a secret hallway that led out to the back alley. In the hallway was a really old safe. A local paper wrote a story about it and then the television media got ahold of the story.

They decided to have a Geraldoesque safe cracking on the late evening news. Two of the local stations carried it live. “Experts” were quoted as saying that the safe and it contents probably dated back to the 1920’s. The building had been empty for a while, but not that long.

So, they brought in the safecracker guy and we all watched as the TV lights came on and they went to live coverage.

Safecracker guy got the safe unlocked and then stepped back.

My buddy, Dino, opened the safe and then removed it’s contents.

A 1972 50 cent piece and a 3 1/2″ floppy disk.

Dino salvaged the night by not missing a beat and saying,”at least it’s more than Geraldo found.”

http://www.dinoslounge.com/

ok, y’all don’t know me, and owe mme nothing. Apparently though whitish rabbit considers you folks her friends. We were in a relationship sometime back that died a normal death. Well. Not real normal, but it died, and for a relationship any death is normal. The problem I have is she is seriously stalking me. Even that I don’t mind. I’ve started my fourth blog in under a month, gotten my 6th email account. She attacks any female I have ever spoken to since she’s known me….including my daughter.

none of this matters to you. What might is last night she called me threatening suicide. If any of you cre about her as more than a pretty face try and help her out of this cycle she is in. i did what i could, then degraded into matching her tit for tat. That didn’t work either, and now my only option is to completely ignore her insanity. She’s your friend, help her out….my last blog as jiffypop…she now has it and is writing some of her best work. you should check it out

Oh, Jesus. Ummm…

i’m not joking..its a scary deal, dude

Yes, only it reads funny with a plug for the quality of her recent writing stuck on the end.

I’d drop her a line; I thought I had her email address, but I don’t see it in my bucket. Perhaps someone reading has it…

First of all, jiffy cricket, you are right, we owe you nothing. I read her post on your blog and it made complete sense to me. You are rude and unbecoming and you say mean things about people.
Second, don’t be a retard! It sounds like you need to quit using the same password and maybe then you wouldn’t get hacked. If you took her “alleged” suicide threat seriously (as if we believe you) you wouldn’t be making light of it here.
Give the girl her money and then go away little man!

ah well, it was a sincere attempt… i knew it would fall on deaf ears…great blog weasel…

dawn….shakes head…bet you’re a fat chick

Money! Oh ho! The plot sickens!

bustedcrayon@yahoo.com

not only that, ann coulter wants my body…every woman on the blogosphere is trying to sleep with me, and random house wants the book rights…bet except for the email thing you wish you were me

I’m guessing “fat chick” is the strongest arrow in his quiver.

“Strongest arrow in his quiver”? Geez, that was exceptionally gay.

From what I read I would not only have to be fat, but old and desperate as well and I am neither. I said go away!

nah, I’m just not in the mood. i have an incredible arsenal of counterpunches. i happen to be worried about someone right now. you might wish to yank down her email address now that you have it. I knew no other way to give it to you.

dawn. you may be anything you wish dear, but their is not one chance in a billion i would ever have anything to do with anyone i met on the web

<sniff> My first troll.

I’m thinking of having him bronzed.

what???? That was not a proposition. No wonder she calls you a narcissist.

ahem

An unauthorized request for password for your account was rejected.

Details of the request:
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Your concern touches me to the bottom of my heart. Somehow I got through the day… I mean I did lurch for the razor blades, but the voices in my head, you know, they couldn’t come to agreement on the left or the right wrist.

Lucky me.

I told you goodbye. You’ve called about… let’s see 27 missed calls… the 14 times I hung up on you by person-

I understand your deep-seated concern for my well-being and your blog account, but I think we’re gonna make it.

Well, I will, anyway.

Next time we do this, how bout whig’s blog, eh? Or if you find my grandparents number, that would be nice and embarrassing.

Surely you can find a new forum to shame me in.

i got three of those
the top is me
the bottom was ubtil she stole it…you still think i’m imagining things?

she needs attention
i don’t…no replies necessary…good luck with the blog sloat…loved the refrigerator lightbulbs post…

i have no desire to shame you. You took my blog, and posted personal information about me on it. I consider you to be in a very touchie mental state…i will not post here again…good luck, alissa

Wow – someone is posting drunk!

I’ll have to break out the rabbit video once again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D35uQCtr4EY

That was the best video EVER.

Where’d u get the I.P. from, I’d be curious to know.

They’re posted on WordPress comments, aren’t they… Hm. You teach me tons of shit, but you often forget to apply it.

Cheers.

I woke up JUST in time! Woot!

Weasel, congratulations! In the mafia, this troll is what’s known as being “Made”!

God I’m proud to know you and to be here today!

Er – please continue, folks. Go Dawn! Go Wabbit!

From: “Lost Password Request” Save Address Block Sender This Is Spam
To: caligula7@mindless.com
CC:
Subject: Unauthorized password retrieval
Date: Fri, 15 Jun 2007 20:58:00 +0000

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An unauthorized request for password for your account was rejected.

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will you just stop?

oh, hi mcpoo….she’s available now

ok, this was fun but i really gotta go….y’all keep feeding off weasel….he’s the only talent in the room until alissa gets her shit together

Not in the market, jizzbucket. My fiance and two wives would have fits.

We unbalanced types, we’re hella talented, you know.

ah mcgoo….you cumguzzlin gutter tramps are fun reads

yes alissa, you have the talent to be another barbara kingsolver. Keep wasting it. It’s no longer my concern….now post slow so i can get outta here

Weas! I been called a cumguzzlin gutter tramp!

God I am so pleased! Better’n butt-munchin’ fucktard any day!

The jealous crap? Baseless, so you know.

I think it’s kind of common for people who are untrustworthy not to trust others. Like, I might worry you’ll break into my mail even though you haven’t set that precedent.

You think I nail anything that breathes. You think I have secret lovers and all sorts of sordid relationships.

I wonder what *that* means.

I know, McGoo. I know. I guess I’m going to hell for enjoying this.

You certainly are, Weasel.

But we’re all enjoying it on 94 inch plasma screens down here. We’ll save you the special seat.

malicenwonderland=jiffypop=criminy-jerkIt, for anyone who needed Cliff Notes

And I can confirm that our two combatants are coming from entirely different IP’s, so we’re not seeing a symphony in sockpuppetry. (Hey, I’m the suspicious type. I’ve been around the ‘tubes a long time).

*Waits to hear 3-5 seconds between popping sounds*
*Pulls up seat*
Anybody want some popcorn?

What? It’s over?

Well, hell. If I’d known ol’ poopy pants was a 3-minute squirter I wouldn’t have even woke up. You were right, Weasel. His quiver is – ahem – short. Pity to have a short quiver.

I dunno, McGoo. It keeps doing this. I think the fuse is damp.

had a blog to write…if i’m going to be talked bad about i prefer doing it myself…you are way slow on the short penis joke mcpoo

and no…i was ,alice….you stole it…i was jiffy…you stole it too…when you steal this one i’ll be someone else

and no…the idea of violating someones privacy wouldn’t occur to me….i’m not a liberal or a conservative.

See?

now i quit…pills to pop….booze to swill…y’all have a good night

be kind lissy-poo….karma is a bitch

my name is not karma btw

Oh-oh. It’s 5:54PM central. It’s ’57 time, ain’t it? Shit. Decisions, decisions…

Rabbit, sweety, you have terrible taste in men.
Mcpoo, that was kinda funny, but juvenile.

Dawn- You’re not wrong.

No, one more hour. Seven Central is Eight EST, right? They dug the thing up and drove it to the super secret location swaddled in wet crap, but they aren’t saying what they found underneath.

Juvinile? Moi? Noooo….

Sun Su: When an enemy leaves a door open, rush in.

I suppose it’s a little late to try and arrange a payment plan…

Fiddlesticks.

Whew. One more hour.

Tsu. Tsu. Jesus…..

McGoo. I was saying McPoo was juvenile.

*obligatory entertainment update*

He’s still calling. I’m trying to use each call as an opportunity to practice opera.

On speaker-phone.

Opera! My dad said when I grew up, I’d learn to appreciate opera. I never knew what he meant until now…

Sun tzu…but whose counting. if you ever actually read him, read the story about the stone cutter. Its a wonderful philosophy to live by.

no…I’ll be happy to set up a payment plan. All things factored in, and not charging exorbitantly for the writings you absconded with (and i’m not talking about blogcrap…you know what i’m talking about. I figure you owe me about $23,753.67 approx. will that be cash or charge?

dawn: if you ever say anything worth responding to you should borrow lissy-poo’s razor.

Record it and post it! We will be your appreciative audience, and overwhelm you in accolades and praise!

Dawn: “That’s ok”. Hee-hee. McPoo is ~funny. If the guy was half as creative as he thinks he is, he coulda done a lot better. Not Worthy. No cigar. No honorable mention.

And I can’t spell juvenile either. And it was right there…

Hey, I had a dental hygeinist appointment this morning. She said I was doing an excellent job, “and I don’t say that to everybody.”

Just thought you guys would want to know.

hey jiffycricket

Your momma!

You wrote some good shit at the start of our little train-wreck. With my editing it was really good.

You aren’t without talent, but you seem to lack whatever it is that tells people what they want to believe isn’t what’s true.

I assumed you saved your writing. I did. Nostalgia, I guess, but I don’t want your words. I like mine better.

How would you like me to get your writings to you?

No, I know, I’ll steal your new blog and post them there.

Problem solved.

Got the book right here, buttfloss. He also says something about ignoring the weak-of-will (and those with short quivers), because they never really count. And I have read the book. That saying was real. Which you would know if….

Hey! Congrats, Weas. Mom always said, “Take care of your teeth!” Bet yours did, too.

I bet you didn’t know I created dental hygienists, did you?

One of my better day’s work, even if I do say so, meself.

WOW.
One pill makes you smaller
and another makes you tall
but you take too many of them, cricket
and you get sort of incoherent – and that’s all.

I don’t know if you’re the type who will regret all this in the morning when you sober up, but you probably should.

Just a thought

Hey! This is just like IRC.

Without the botwars.

Well… until today, that is.

(*counts on fingers…looks at calender) hey, it *is* Friday night.

Scotch! Weasel – pour a healthy dab and let’s drink to the troll.

…and then – haikus?, since Lokki has hurled the muse-gauntlet.

Oh, I’m WAY past the scotch by now. Only that first jigger is the good stuff. After that, it’s industrial solvent until lights out.

Yes! Haikus! Haikus!

The essence of Zen
Is seventeen little sounds
Organized with care.

Five syllableses
Followed by seven of ’em
And there’s yer haiku

Hey, how’s the Plymouth?
That’s what I’m waiting to hear.
An hour, no longer.

And for Buttfloss:

The itch reminds him
Of that taught in his childhood
To wipe immaculately.

Hey, McGoo! Where’s your Kigo?

Oh… umm.. that sounds rude, doesn’t it?

*duh*?

a~hole ex boyfriend
jimeny cricket gets served
where my dogs at yo

Got me. Had to look that one up.

Sorry he was so off the cuff rude to you, Dawn.

If he does it again I’ll totally hack his bank account.

(Joke! I’m kidding! Honest!)

Haikus be mad fun
Steamboat McGoogle kigo?
fall summer spring duh

My brain is so small
The pain of comprehension
Is truly mindless.

Dawn – that haiku took a while to soak in. Whoa. Or..ouch.

Four minutes! Four minutes to Plymouthgate!

Got streaming up now.

It’s on!

don’t apologize for me liss. You know if I wanted to apologize I would. So send the Haiku…you know the one…not here…send it to that new mail account you can’t break into

Streaming is hinky. Must be a zillion times their usual bandwidth.

Clay yields up its prize
Rust in the sun, leaves in fall
A life never lived

What’s on, damnit!? And where?!

http://www.kotv.com/ stupid badger.

But it’s a really bad feed…

Hats off to Dawn for the kigo 😉

thank you Dick old man
for making sweet car cover
please to show us now

a friggin let down
now promo for some dumb show
car is not people!

McGoo wasn’t wrong.
This car is totally fuc’t.
Sad but no surprise.

i was right i guess
except for uncle badger
no real talent here

They shoulda buried a volkswagon. Anyone remember the floating VW ads – and what National Lampoon did with one?

Feed wasn’t bad here in MO. Musta been a Right Coast thing.

the car didn’t float
in Spring or Fall or Summer
soggy vinyl. Phew!

many called it right
I wonder who was wary
back in ’57 Spring.

you’re a doofus, cric
Now go wipe your buttcrack quick
your brain is dripping.

cricket can’t get jokes
because he’s a major tool
go away small man!

Friday night shower
for a baby not yet born
goodbye fellas ~ hugs

potential reply
really isn’t worth it though
wipes with McPoo’s tie

actually, my sense of humor works better than my tolerance for nitwits, dawn.
have a nice night you semi-literate buttmonkey

YES, I got nitwit AND semi-literate buttmonkey – that’s way better than McGoo’s! And I made him so intolerably mad he couldn’t even do it in haiku. I really have to go. Today was fun!

you have niether the wit nor the intellect nor the wisdom to anger me young lady. Only liss has managed that in the last ten years, and while she can be a royal pain in my ass she has more talent in her pinkie than you have in your whole body

and i should go because the last thing i feel like doing is talking good about her

Hey liss! I think someone still loves you. Who’s stalking now?

Bravo, Dawn. You snared a nice one! Let me get the skillet and we’ll cook it up.

Wabbit – from what I see of The Rectums responses, he has a serious self-esteem problem – yes? Compensated – how boring – by the usual garden-variety delusions of grandeur, narcissism, and buried anger. Your intelligence and abilities probably intimidate him quite a bit without knowing it. Not your fault, of course.

You know you’re on an up-market blog when the flamewars are conducted in haikus.

Either that, or in an insane asylum.

Shame about the Plymouth, though. They were real cars back then. The realist.

RIP, nice car.

U-B…all true.

I was marveling at the number of comments on this post. 116?Those haikus and the troll really fluffed it out.

Yeah – the car. That was a pity…

Saturday morning
Awoke to haiku flame war
Napped through stocking creep.

What this thread desperately needs is some booger jokes!

What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids don’t eat broccoli.

What’s green and makes house calls?
Mucous Welby, MD.

What’s Green and can’t make housecalls on a school night?
Doogie Booger, MD

What’s the difference between boogers and potato chips?
You can’t get boogers in ranch flavor.

What’s another difference between boogers and potato chips?
Potato chips hold more dip.

And yet another difference between boogers and potato chips?
Boogers have a longer shelf life.

And still another difference between boogers and potato chips?
Potato chips don’t stick to your fingers.

And finally, a similarity between boogers and potato chips?
Nobody can eat just one.

Geez, I can’t spell mucus, either!

That whirring sound you hear is my moms, rolling in her grave. She was desperately boogerphobic. My dad used to chase her through the house yelling, “snot!” (They had a sort of whitishrabbit/jiffypop relationship).

Of course, when you display weakness like that, you’re just begging for a lifetime of greeting cards picturing an olive shoved in a nostril with the caption, “what’s up?”

My finger touches
And gently manipulates
The booger stringy.

Booger haiku. My bliss is complete.

ewwwwww

Booger haiku. Man, I wish I’d thought of that.

Picking a winner
What clings to prospecting thumb?
A crunchy munchkin

Kid’s finger buried
In nostril finger-fattened
Finger-lickin’ good!

fossilized nose-fruit
Stuck under my home-room desk
Emergency supplies.

Okay, now I’m even grossing myself out.

Oh, man. I gotta start drinkin’ again to keep up. Macallan vat-strength: I need every edge I can get in this crowd.

Nose-fruit. Heh.

I gotta say it, though….nose-vegetable might just add something. But it isn’t …. crisp, like -fruit. Nose-fruit definitely qualifies as the canonic rendering.

Naw, Steamboat, all you need is an arrested sense of humor, the sort that never got past sixth grade, the kind to which the jokes in the back of Boy’s Life are incomprehensibly sophisticated.

Of course, don’t let that stop the drinking. It couldn’t hurt.

And I stole the “-fruit” construction from Noj over at PB, who described someone’s child as “crotch-fruit.” But I didn’t tell you that; as Heinlein said, “the key to originality is concealing your source.”

Guess I missed all the fun.

I realizes the -fruit thing came from your site (love it, btw, Pound that pos faker! Pound it good!) but figured you (or noj or *blank* can’t remember)originated it.

I fight my own arrested development – and lose.

But I may revisit the bottle anyway. Couldn’t hurt…

Here are some high resolution pictures of the car and the items that were stored inside it. Looks like a “fixer upper”

Pics:
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=8700431#8700431

Oh, man, those are some great pictures. Check out the one shiny patch of perfect chrome on the front bumper (it obviously fascinated the photographers).

Notice the “Suddenly It’s 2,007” poster — they put a comma in 2,007 twice. In 1957, it must have sounded too much like a number and not enough like a date.

Bravo, B-E! Now them’s some photos.

Naturally I ignored the car and focused on the tide-marks on the concrete. I wonder how many times it filled up and then – slowly – drained over the last 50 years?

[…] Given the heartbreak of Tulsarama, I wasn’t hopeful there would be anything left, but I’m damned if I’ll wantonly crush the dreams of old coots. So we invited them both ’round for tea and hole digging. […]