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I sold the Weaselmobile!

miata

Just got an email from the kid I left my car with. He finally got my price (which was so low, a dealer snapped it up now that the weather’s improved. Feh). There goes my last tie to the old me.

Welp, it’s like I always say: whenever God closes a door, he opens a window. And chucks me head-first out of it.

Now I really am like somebody’s nana from the Old Country. No job, can’t drive, talk funny, don’t get anybody’s jokes. I think I’ll just hang out in the kitchen, grow a mustache and cook ethnic food from now on.

Everybody up for a mess of hominy grits and chicken-fried ‘possum?

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from scubafreak
Time: May 28, 2009, 8:41 pm

No, but you can order fresh Nutria from the Great State of Louisiana…. Gator meat too…..

And don’t forget to get a nice Geoduck from Washington State…

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 28, 2009, 8:53 pm

Wait…nutria? Are those plankton, or big rodents?

My stepmother makes the world’s only edible grits. She cooks grits, then she mixes in raw egg, tops it with cheese and bakes until golden brown. Really, it’s egg and cheese extended by a bland starchy substance.

Grits. Never could stand them.

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: May 28, 2009, 8:56 pm

Big Rodents. Andrew Zimmerman fried some up on Bizarre Foods.

 


Comment from Roman Wolf
Time: May 28, 2009, 10:50 pm

Slowly through this post you’re starting to sound like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: May 28, 2009, 11:36 pm

This brings up a difficult issue for me.

I always wanted a Miata. But I’m a dude. But since I learned it was possible to pull the 302 and T5 tranny right out of a Mustang and drop it under a Miata’s hood with minimal effort, it just sounded cool. All that power, in such a tiny little lightweight car? Brutal.

But…it’d still be a Miata. And I’d still be a dude.

In a Miata.

:(

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: May 29, 2009, 12:19 am

That’s ok, apotheosis. I had a friend in San Diego who put a 350 Corvette engine in his wife’s Vega Station wagon. The problem is that the drive shaft couldn’t deal with the stress, so he was constantly replacing drive shafts and U-Joints.

Before I returned to Colorado, he said he was going to swap the engine to a Volkswagon Karmengia……..

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: May 29, 2009, 12:27 am

Apo, true story: I was in a car with a female friend and two guy friends, and the guys were discussing “gay cars,” specifically Miatas. Guy #1 recounted a story in which he refused to go to lunch with a male coworker because the coworker had a “gay car,” and he didn’t want people to think he was gay. I could tell that my female friend was bothered by the conversation (she’s not used to locker-room style discourse), so I attempted to change the subject, and we fell silent.

A minute or two later, Guy #2 observed, “Hey, there’s a Miata.”

“Yep,” Guy #1 answered, “with two dudes in it.”

(I dunno, maybe you had to hear how he said it…)

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: May 29, 2009, 12:41 am

I just don’t get what it is exactly about the Miata that just screams “gay.” (In falsetto, even.) It’s not the size of the car…for crying out loud, Dustin Hoffman climbed in an Alfa Romeo and nailed Anne Bancroft.

Is it just too curvy? What car isn’t, anymore?

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: May 29, 2009, 12:57 am

Apo – Could be the fact that a Miata idling has that reasuring tone of “homohomohomohomo”…

OK, I think I’ve been watching a few too many Jeff Dunham specials on Comedy Central

http ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf81dE4DS20

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: May 29, 2009, 1:03 am

If Teh One (PBUH) gets his way with the new CAFE rules, the Miata will be a luxury sedan.

Think about that for a minute.

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: May 29, 2009, 1:05 am

Sorry, the part I was trying to post is here:

http ://www.truveo.com/jeff-dunham-blue-freakin-prius-2/id/3776865871

 


Comment from Phineas
Time: May 29, 2009, 1:37 am

Always good for a laugh or two

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Miata&defid=2361738

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: May 29, 2009, 1:52 am

Always good for a laugh or two

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Miata&defid=2361738

Offended Miata owners (or former owners) can console themselves with the knowledge that most of the writers on UD would shit themselves with glee over a riced-out Civic with a melon-launcher muffler.

Make sure you get the super-duper-insanely huge spoiler, guys, because aft of the rear axle of a front-wheel-drive car is exactly where you want 800 pounds of downforce at 60mph.

 


Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 29, 2009, 2:21 am

Fie on your Miatas and TransAms. I go everywhere via sedan chair. In urban conditions it’s not a lot slower than a car, and my eight burly Nicaraguan bearers are handsomely rewarded. Virtually none of their (aggregate) 73 children have rickets anymore.

I’m like a one-man UNICEF.

 


Comment from Allen
Time: May 29, 2009, 4:02 am

It could be worse… So I’m wandering through the desert and made a swing through Ballarat.

Supposedly, Chuck’s Truck

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: May 29, 2009, 8:16 am

Yeah, it’s not the car size. Remember Tom Selleck in that tiny little Ferrari on Magnum? And the equally tiny little white shorts? *heaves sigh*

I don’t really think of the Miata as “gay” myself. I think it’s a cute, sporty little car. Is the Solstice “gay” too? It’s similarly cute and sporty and has soft curves. What about the Sky, which is basically a harder-edged Solstice?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 29, 2009, 8:17 am

Motherrrrrrrr! They’re making fun of my carrrrrr!!!

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: May 29, 2009, 11:35 am

Is the Solstice “gay” too? It’s similarly cute and sporty and has soft curves.

I dunno but I like that one too. Sad to see Pontiac going away, just when they were starting to get their act together.

 


Comment from Gromulin
Time: May 29, 2009, 11:35 am

“Make sure you get the super-duper-insanely huge spoiler, guys, because aft of the rear axle of a front-wheel-drive car is exactly where you want 800 pounds of downforce at 60mph.”

Heh….but those white framed Paris-Hilton sunglasses the guy driving is wearing makes up for the loss of contact of the drive wheels.

I have a bad habit of pulling up next to those guys, and asking if those glasses come in a Men’s frame.

 


Comment from Gromulin
Time: May 29, 2009, 11:36 am

PS…So what was in the damned boxes in the Attic? You really can’t just leave us hanging like that.

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: May 29, 2009, 11:39 am

Tom Sellek had a big fucking moustache to offset his little (though I don’t really consider the Ferrari 308 GT little) car and vacuum-formed shorts. Nobody with a moustache has even been queer.

 


Comment from Will
Time: May 29, 2009, 12:11 pm

There’s a bit of interesting history to be had about the “girl’s car” issue in this video.

My sister really wanted to do a V8 swap into a Miata. Then again, she’d probably wrap the thing around the first telephone pole she came across.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 29, 2009, 2:09 pm

Haven’t figured it out yet, Gromulin. Uncle B hates ladders and I hate spiders. I’ll let you know.

Also, the weather is still relentless, HOPELESSLY beautiful (not counting that one rainy day), so it isn’t attic-exploring weather.

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: May 29, 2009, 3:09 pm

Are you gonna get a Mini to replace it?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 29, 2009, 6:30 pm

Uncle B’s first car was a mini, so I don’t think we’ll be doing THAT again.

We’ve talked about getting a two-seater convertible. I’m pushing for a Miata, and he’ll just have to live with the stigma.

I don’t care what anyone says. They’re a great little car…

 


Comment from Allen
Time: May 29, 2009, 7:02 pm

Hey, maybe you can find a good used three wheel Reliant Robin

Now that’s one sweet Mustelid Motorcar

 


Comment from Randy Rager
Time: May 29, 2009, 9:42 pm

Chicken fried possum? Well, no thanks, but if’n yer about to fry up some chicken fried chicken, I might be persuaded to join you for supper.

Or perhaps a chicken fried ribeye? Ever since I read Steve H.’s book, I’ve been wanting to try that.

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: May 30, 2009, 12:14 am

I liked your other artist’s reconstruction of your Miata – still makes me smile.

I really liked driving the Pontiac Solstice when they were in development, even thought they were ratty pre-production jobs that we had. Much fun, and they had an amazing amount of leg room for a small car (which I did not need, as I am a shrimp). I did *not* enjoy hauling my sorry old ass in-and-out of them … too low to the ground. I think they’re really nice looking, too. You’re young, Mrs. Peel – go for it!

Re: Corvette engines in other vehicles – We had a Jeep CJ5 (the short one) with a ‘vette engine in it, thanks to hubby. Scared the crap out of me more than once on slick roads … kept trying to swap ends every time you hit the gas, no matter how gingerly you pressed the pedal.

 


Comment from Lipstick
Time: May 30, 2009, 12:33 am

Never had possum, but my grandmother used to cook squirrel once in a while.

One time my uncle shot a groundhog, skinned it and grilled it up for us.

Years later I went on a TV quiz show and the host said “Tell us something unusual about yourself”. “Erm, I once ate a groundhog”.

 


Comment from Cant hark my cry
Time: May 30, 2009, 1:40 am

Cheese grits! Mmmhmmm!

Although I have to say I like plain grits. . .with stuff on them. You know. Gravy and stuff.

One of my valued possessions is White Trash Cooking by Ernest Matthew Mickler (you know he’s a Southern boy–he has three names!) published by the Jargon Society in 1985. It features recipes (Oops! receipts!) for such treasures as “Uncle Wiliie’s Swamp Cabbage Stew” and “Single Boy’s Breakfast” (no comment). Actually, my favorite (in one sense) is “Grand Canyon Cake”: essentially, white layer cake, but each of 4 layers tinted with a different food coloring, then the finished product wrenched apart through the middle and whiskey sauce dribbled in and allowed to soak. (Recipe for the whiskey sauce available on request. . .) The comment Mickler includes: “This is a wonderful treat for someone that’s going to, or just got back from vacationing at, the Grand Canyon. It’s also very educational for children.” Ayup. Mmmmhmmmm. . .

Southern cooking is much maligned, and with some reason (I mean–it is possible to eat vegetables that haven’t been reduced to pulp, but this is a concept that eludes traditional Southern chefs; al dente? who the heck is that?), but at its best–like any other regional cuisine–it is flavorful, nutritious and fun. . .yeah, ok, I’ll confess I’ve never done some of the more off-market meats.

Um. I’m prepared to make fun of Southerners (my ancestors), but hesitant to make fun of Britons (no close relation). But it has been my impression that the “boil them into submission” approach to vegetables is common in the UK as well as the American South. Just sayin’. . .and correct me if I’m wrong.

 


Comment from Mike C.
Time: May 30, 2009, 6:02 am

I used to lust after cars like that, a result of a mis-spent youth driving friends’ MG Midgets, MGAs and Austin Healy 3000s. And spending a lot of time under them. Fortunately, I got over it. Closest I ever got was that brand-new, first year (1979) Honda Prelude. At least it had a sunroof. It had to go once the second kid arrived, though. You try putting two child seats in one of those things.

If (I say IF) I ever get around to replacing the 1996 Geo Metro (A.K.A., The Mighty Geo), it would most likely be with it’s remote descendent, the Suzuki SX4 Crossover. Bought one for the younger daughter a couple of years back. AWD is a good thing if one lives in snow country.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 30, 2009, 6:37 am

I’ve had a whole series of 2-seater convertibles (including an MG Midget. Loved that car, but it was a complete piece of shit mechanically). I had a habit of making them into 1-seaters by pulling out the passenger’s seat (and the back seat, if it had one). Puzzles the hell out of cops, holds an AMAZING amount of stuff (particularly with the top down) and your friends never ask you for a ride.

I gather that used to be the case, Can’t Hark, but the Brits (like everyone else) have gotten in the habit of nuking frozen veg instead of cooking canned veg into slurry. One peculiarity that really puzzles me: meals out usually include a lovely crisp fresh garden salad…and no salad dressing. I been eating a lot of dry lettuce.

That reminds me — when the crop comes in, I have to phone my dad and get the recipe for greasy beans. I don’t know how he cooks them, but it *tastes* like green beans that have been pressure cooked in bacon grease for a few days.

 


Comment from Cant hark my cry
Time: May 30, 2009, 10:08 am

Oh, yeah, bacon grease! Where would the South be without pig fat?

 


Comment from Randy Rager
Time: May 30, 2009, 10:30 am

I just had hashbrowns cooked in, you guessed it, bacon grease! Since I shop at Costco (work there, too), I buy the Kirkland Low Sodium Bacon. Good stuff. Jim Sinegal needs to have a talk with the kids in the buying department, though. When a 20lb. bag of baking potatoes contain only 18 of the things, that’s a good hint they’re being harvested too late. Had to throw the first one out of the bag away, it was rotten in the middle.

Damned things are big enough to carve into dugouts and paddle to Africa!

 

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