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Special weekend report: arms race intensifies

islamicsuperweapon.jpg

Saturday, June 30, 2007; 4:59 PM

GLASGOW, Scotland – In a new and worrying development in the arms race between Islamic radicals and the West, a hitherto unknown weapon was unleashed today at Glasgow Airport, the Weasel Times has learned.

A source in the British military, speaking on condition of anonymity, described the device as “some kind of sophisticated incendiary bomb. Self-propelled. Precision guided. Bipedal.”

The device apparently detonated prematurely, setting fire to the Lifestyles magazine rack and part of the self-help section at WH Smith. “Who knows what would have happened if this thing had kept going,” one witness remarked, “it weaved around a little, but, man, it was really going up good.” Fire crews are on the scene.

“We’re completely stymied,” the military spokesman continued, “This level of technical sophistication is simply unknown to us in the West. It’s a totally new class of munition.”

“God help us all,” he added.

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: June 30, 2007, 4:15 pm

heh

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: June 30, 2007, 4:48 pm

Alright…who woke up Weasel.

*glares at McGoo*

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 4:57 pm

It was all those Islamic rage Boy haiku! They…they…ooze.

Those Islamic bastards! Scotland is where…where…Scotch is made!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 5:03 pm

A Rage Boy, Islamic, named Bduque
Who had a small pine cone – minute
He sat strokin’ this pine
Over burka hemlines
While dreamin’ he’d self-BBQ’t

Hell – I’m goin’ over and workin’ on Rage Boy some more. Pup’s got the ol’ musejuice flowin’.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 30, 2007, 5:04 pm

‘parently when the Islamoloonie was running around burning nicely, a bystander asked an official at the airport what they could do to help. His reply was: ‘Let the fucker burn’.

You really need to say that in a Glasgow accent to get the full impact.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 5:27 pm

Uncle B,

As I was reading your description I had this stunningly vivid image of a scottish bystander – holding a cigarette – trying to get a light off the guy’s sleeve.

“Let the fucker burn” does sound particularly nice having that scottish lilt to the vowels and all.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 6:35 pm

Hey … Ace has poetry posted, by Catullus, no less – whoever he was.

We need to set our sights lower, it would seem. His verse is…rough.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 6:42 pm

Wow. Ace rewrote Ozymandias. How can anyone compete with lines like: “getting plugged up the ass by priapic hyena.”?

Now that’s deep, and meaningful on so many levels.

Once again I am feeling other-adequate.

 


Comment from Jos.Carman
Time: June 30, 2007, 6:42 pm

Perhaps an audio file of someone actualy saying (in the appropriate accent), “Let the fucker burn” could be created? I’d like to hear that.

I hope they did just let him burn.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 8:14 pm

J.C – I saw a video somewhere recently (Utube?) of some idiot who blew himself up “over there” somewhere. He must have skimped on the C4 ’cause it only blew off his arm and some of a leg (I think). The folks he was trying to blow up just stood around recording videos and letting him cry for help and bleed to death. Rough justice, but fitting.

 


Comment from boure
Time: June 30, 2007, 8:15 pm

Great artist’s impression.

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: June 30, 2007, 8:18 pm

Love the drawing…. love it.

There once was a al Quaeda* in Glasgow
who decided he’d crash his jeep just so
but he fucked it up, to the everyone’s luck
and got his islamist ass burned to a nice glow

*(wanna-be)

Speaks what you type

Let the fucker burn does have a nice ring to it…. This link has a couple of Brit accents. Although it doesn’t have a Scots accent, it sound pretty close to a Scottish twang if you use a Greek accent. Or maybe all foreigners sound like foreigners to me?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 8:43 pm

boure,

Was that an Eileen “Monster” Wurnos(sp?) photo in your mona lisa animation?

 


Comment from Jos.Carman
Time: June 30, 2007, 10:52 pm

Steamboat: I spent several months in Iraq and Kuwait 2004-5.
The bastards blow themselves up frequently. Looks good on them. It should only happen more often.

 


Comment from kurt
Time: June 30, 2007, 11:06 pm

Build a man a fire and you warm him for a night.
Set a man on fire and you warm him for a lifetime.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 12:35 am

J.C & Curt –

Sooo…you’re sayin’ that those towels they wrap around their noggins are really wicks or fuzes!

I knew it!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 1, 2007, 5:53 am

Woo! Welcome new visitors! Don’t mind McGoo.

This one got linked from a couple of places last night, which is only justice. Drawing fire, as it turns out, is DAMN HARD. Probaby not as hard as actually being on fire, but harder than I like to work on a Saturday.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:50 am

Hey – I wasn’t doin’ nothin’.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 1, 2007, 9:01 am

Getting hits from all over today. w00t! I’ve discovered my inner attention whore!

 


Comment from Gnus
Time: July 1, 2007, 9:04 am

Hey, little girl, is your daddy home?
Did he go away and leave you all alone?
Uh huh, I’ve got a bad desire…
Ow,Ow,Ow!!! I’m on fire.

Apologies to… to… whatshisface. You know who.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 9:09 am

The artwork is pretty damned cool, Weas.

 


Comment from nbpundit
Time: July 1, 2007, 9:19 am

A wunnerful totally politically incorrect
site you have here Stoat. Keep up the spade
work.
/Heh

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 1:15 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Knows how to bark like a dog:
Gas-soaked clothes, match–“Woof!”

 


Comment from Sir Henry Morgan
Time: July 1, 2007, 2:39 pm

This is where you’re getting some of the heat … er … hits from, and why:

http://uppompeii1.uppompeii.com/2007/06/30/likely-terror-attack-on-glasgow-airport.aspx#Comment

Scroll down if necessary

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 2:45 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Flame-tinged, wearing his anger
Really hot to trot.

Islamic Rage Boy
Silent illumination
Well – not so silent.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 2:52 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Recognised by so many –
Jokes’ essential butt.

Islamic Rage Boy
Famed irritability
Mouth wide – a doofus.

 


Comment from Muslihoon
Time: July 1, 2007, 2:55 pm

Y’know, I initially thought this post was a parody. Then I thought to myself: “Terrorists would just be crazy enough to do something like this. Maybe this is actual news?”

So I checked some blogs and — lo, and behold! — this actually happened.

Ah, how far we have come, when truth is as strange as parody.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 3:08 pm

So I checked some blogs and — lo, and behold! — this actually happened.

Sweet, sweet internet.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 3:25 pm

Love yer latest IRB series, Steamboat. Perhaps when they erect a monument to him and his compatriots in DC (oh, and they will), one of your verses will be etched on the plaque.

In Arabic, of course.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 3:33 pm

Aw, shucks, jw.

Um…I hope they can spell and count syllables.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 3:36 pm

Syllables are a hegemonic construct of the Zionist occupiers!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 3:39 pm

jw – did you catch that link a few comments up? Looks like Weasel is getting some overseas action. Seems someone over there was pleased by Weasel’s parody post, or artwork. This is as it should be….

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 3:53 pm

Yup, saw it. Weasel goes global!

…and we knew him back in the day….

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 3:55 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
A hegemonic construct
Up his back passage.

Islamic Rage Boy
Zionist occupiers
Camp in his pie-hole.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 5:56 pm

Dang, I wish it’d been me who noticed that “Zionist occupiers” was seven syllables.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 6:05 pm

I figured it just HAD to be used.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 6:08 pm

Yeah, and you beat me to it, Yankee imperialist!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 6:41 pm

Yan-kee im-pe-re-al-ist
1…2…3..4..5..6..7

(ahem)
McGoo smells a trap. Or he needs a bath.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 6:57 pm

I’ll tell ya, jw. Since early last evening I have been sneaking quick reads over at Ace’s in the Catallus post. Quickies is all I can manage before fleeing (again and again) in horror.

Now I always figured I was tough and could be as grossly blunt, vulgar, tasteless, obscene, and as gender/ orientation insensitive as the next guy (hey, its a gift). I was short-changed, so it seems. Some of those poems, and especially some of the comments over there are so far beyond what I would ever utter that – well – I feel contaminated. Doubly so, since some of my favorite poems have been totally ruined in my memory – forever, I fear. Oh! what Ace did to Ozymandias!

Today I have successfully resisted trashing (in the Ace mode) Shakespeare’s 116th, The Village Blacksmith, Go Little Book, and Invictus. So I’m a bit wilted now from the effort.

But…I suspect that an extraordinarily foul haiku is marinating somewhere in the back of my (heh) mind. Waiting to pounce. Taking no prisoners. Fouling the fine McGoo name.

Just sayin’ I’m under stress.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:08 pm

British cop: “You have the right to remain crispy.”

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:11 pm

Well!

I don’t suppose I’ll catch up now. I’ve been out all day helping a friend buy a new laptop. I haven’t paid attention to computer specs in a long time, so my ‘help’ consisted mostly of exclaiming, “oooo! This one’s very shiny.”

They are, too. Have you looked at laptops lately? They’re all really very shiny. The look like delicious candy. I’m sure they fingerprint badly, though.

So I get back to find that the blog has been hitted such a very lots (I hope you guys didn’t bite anybody or make Wordsworth cry or anything). And the human torch who was the subject of this post was a doctor. Jesus. A doctor. Anybody even peripherally connected with anything even vaguely medical knows that fire hurts more than anything in the world.

I make a prediction: this guy drugged himself to the gills before trying this stunt. Probably why it failed. It would explain why he was babbling and swinging when they tried to subdue him, too.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:11 pm

That comment was from Ace’s – author unknown.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:20 pm

Christ, it’s good to see you’re alive and well, Weasel. I figured you’d gone tramping again, or something.

I’ve been counting syllables in various really vulgar words and phrases. I don’t know why. But I’m afraid. I blame Ace.

Yeah – two doctors in Glasgow. Ace has a photo of the Crispy One. May he forever suffer from that itching, burning sensation. Y’know – like whole-body clap.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:31 pm

Heh-heh…. so you avoided my little trap, Mr. McGoo….. Perhaps I shall have to take a more, shall we say, personal interest in your demise…. MUH-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:35 pm

Well, I went out intending to get a tramp in the woods. Which I eventually got. The laptop-shopping thing was the price I had to pay.

The crispier one is burned over 90% of his body, I heard. That’s not a good prognosis. Live or die, though, it’s going to HURT LIKE A BASTARD for a long, long time.

A college friend of mine was badly burned as a teenager. The pain was so intense for so long, she said, even looking back on it some years and no pain later, it simply wasn’t worth surviving. Even in hindsight, she’d rather be dead now. That’s a remarkable thought.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:37 pm

Bloody hell. We’ve just passed 10K.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:37 pm

So, it’s my guess this is really gonna punch up attendance at this year’s Burning Man. Friggin’ product placement is inescapable!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:38 pm

Damn. I figured pablo (Fulminate of Doofus) would take at least a few more minutes for you and yours to dispatch, allowing me to make good my escape. Rats.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:42 pm

Weasel, does your counter count that high? Whoa…it does.

You had some across-the-pond action earlier. Some sea captain I should know…Morgan!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:43 pm

90% ?

You know that’s gonna hurt a loooong time.

Good.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 9:14 pm

So…I don’t know anything about English or Scottish jurisprudence, but will they eventually be asking this guy to place his fritter on the bible, raise his arm-stub, and swear to tell the whole recipe – so help him Cnl Sanders?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 1, 2007, 9:21 pm

Man, McGoo…that almost made me hungry. Except we stopped on the way home and ate a giant bowl of Olive Garden faux Italian wet pasta crap which I am burping mightily and with much distress. Do you know how hard it is for booze to wangle past this stodgy kind of stuff?

One of the awkward things about Brit jurisprudence (like the Canuckian kind) is that they keep VERY close control of information leaks prior to trial. Yes, it does help to prevent even the suggestion that the trial has been prejudiced by publicity. But by the time the scary inflammatory information about a crime hits the papers, typically several years have passed and everybody’s gone off the boil.

Another in a list of reasons why the Brits aren’t as angry as they should be…

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 9:34 pm

Interesting. Although being off the boil would be refreshing here in the US, occasionally. I’m talking BDS, of course. But – aren’t the Brit divorce filings widely pubb’ed? I thought they could get really nasty. Or was that long ago?

I suspect that the Burning Guy would have had his flames extinguished with gunfire here. Woulda saved the Brits a pile of pounds in legal effort. Disarming everyone there was not the brightest idea, IMHO.

Olive garden? Yep – enjoy it, ’cause it’ll be digesting for about 18 hours. I like their chicken/pasta alfredo at noon. That way I don’t have to eat again the rest of that day.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 2, 2007, 1:09 am

Naw, Steamboat, Pablo was kinda like a fly you swat and know that it is dead, but the fly has other ideas, so you watch it buzz around in circles on the floor for a while, marveling that such will to live exists in such a tiny package. And then, of course, you step on it.

I was actually gone for a while to a place called “the real world” where in-laws dwell, and movies must be watched by all, or sundaes will not be served.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 2, 2007, 5:48 am

Hey, McGoo – Brits aren’t disarmed. All they did was snatch weapons out of the hands of the innocent.

Can’t have any of those poor, misunderstood (heavily armed) criminals getting hurt, can they?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 8:21 am

U-B,

God forbid, innocent folks might accidentally blow the living crap out of a scumbag.

We can’t have that, can we? Better to have a higher per-capita crime rate in London than in NYC.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 8:28 am

Yes, jwp, the real world can sometimes be quite intrusive. It’s a flaw in the Grand Design, IMHO.

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: July 2, 2007, 8:47 am

On the infrequent occasion when I post on the Free Republic, I have a signature line on my posts that came about during a discussion about whether Pit Bulls are really big lovable fluff balls or damn’d dangerous dogs.

It seems appropriate here:
You can ignore reality until it bites you on the ass

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 2, 2007, 9:37 am

Funny. I was thinking about FR this morning. Wondering if I could remember my original account password, the one from 1998. I had one after that which was banned for Catholic-baiting, and another after that that’s still good, I think.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 10:57 am

Catholic-baiting.

Well, one should have a hobby, after all…and it’s way safer than baiting Islamic Rage Boy or the KKK.

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: July 2, 2007, 11:04 am

I’m not much of a poster there, or really even a reader.

I got involved with FR because of the thread called

Unnngh!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 2, 2007, 11:15 am

Good lord, you don’t think I’d bait anything that might fight back effectively, do you?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 11:18 am

No way, Weasel! Stupid is not part of your fuzzy, lovable character.

…and remember, “He who baits and runs away – lives to bait another day!”

Words to live by.

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: July 2, 2007, 11:40 am

If you fight a Catholic, you don’t run away, you just pope him right in the nose… and you try to drown the Baptists… and you haul off and nail the Lutherans…

Oh dear… will I be the first to get myself troll-banned, or am I just going to Hell?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 2, 2007, 11:57 am

Well, the Hell part, for sure. Not a very good strategy for getting troll-banned on an atheist’s blog, though.

I was baptized Presbyterian. I don’t remember much about it, naturally, but I’ve been told my grandmother was humiliated by the public reading of the elaborite ten-syllable cornpone moniker my mom stuck me with. Also, I whipped the glasses off the elderly pastor’s face, causing him to grit his teeth and hiss, “gimme back my glasses, you sweet baby.”

 


Comment from whtshrbbt/amuirin
Time: July 2, 2007, 12:28 pm

I was so kerfuzzled on the morning of my daughter’s baptism that I put on her tights and her dress but forgot the diaper.

the pastor was holding her across his arm and he got baptized, too.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 12:28 pm

Lokki,

So….does one circumcise joos? Intoxicate Moslems? Book a Mormon?

I already know that one spellbinds (and then bangs the crap out of) witches. Witches are fun.

 


Comment from mesablue
Time: July 2, 2007, 12:29 pm

Hey, I’m a Catholic.

Or, I used to be. I think.

Speaking of crispy things. Some kid at the Catholic school I went to was slightly less than satisfied with his experience there and burned the church down to the ground a couple of years ago.

http://www.stmichaelcommunity.org/parish/fire.htm

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 12:31 pm

Oops. Guess there’s still some residual Catallus poetry stuck in my bwane. That was naughty.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 12:33 pm

mesablue,

That kid from your school – a man of action. He’ll go far. Possibly in prison garb, but…

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 2, 2007, 1:00 pm

Witches are fun. I’d rather bait a Wiccan than anything. They’re so touchy.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 2, 2007, 2:11 pm

Oh, dear. You’re gonna touch off another minion-tizzle if you’re not careful Mr. Weasel!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 2:28 pm

Reminds me of the time I found a book of Elder God/Cthulhu/Lovecraft spells for sale in a bookstore that someone had put together as a curiosity item. Leafing through it, I noticed dire warnings before each spell – apraising the reader that “woe unto you” if you didn’t do the spell right.

I remarked to a friend, “I wonder what’ll happen if I do it wrong?”

The friend snapped, “Same thing that’ll happen if you do it correctly – nothing.”

So ended my minimal curiosity into spells and such.

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: July 2, 2007, 2:36 pm

I’ve been camping all weekend. Don’t know what is new news or old? Ah well I will be caught up by tomorrow.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 2, 2007, 2:45 pm

McGoo, was that the Necronomicon? I knew a guy years ago who swore up and down that all that stuff was real. He was (and no doubt still is) an idiot.

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: July 2, 2007, 2:56 pm

Dawn – since history repeats itself, don’t worry – nothing is new news anyhow… it’s all reruns.

Ecclesiastes 1:9-14 NIV) What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. {10} Is there anything of which one can say, “Look! This is something new”? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.

See how nicely I tied that into our discussion of religion? Actually, I knew the ‘nothing new under the sun’ quote, but had no idea it was from the Bible, let alone Ecclesiastes. But hey, that’s all part of the master plan.

I’m not a Christian myself. I’m a card-carrying Bhuddist, or I would be if I was worried about such materialistic things. I don’t carry it around. I keep it in the glovebox of the BMW.

 


Comment from Shuko
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:03 pm

I was referred here by http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net (A Pokémon forum, of all things) today, and my God! Never have I had such a difficult time restraining behemoth upwellings of giggles, snorts, and chortling while trying to maintain the illusion of idustriousness behind my computer at work. I don’t know if I should berate you for contributing to my impending termination, or if I should thank you for it. Instead, I’ll just say, “thanks for the (restrained) laughs,” and I’ll continue to read all of your stoat antics until close of business. :p Sooner or later, they’ll block this site with their filters (as they do any interesting place I find in which I can waste my valuable goof-off time), but until then, I’ll be reading!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:09 pm

Ah, the Necronomicon, by the Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred.

I don’t actually like Lovecraft all that much, but I live in Providence, so I had to read him.

Here’s his tombstone, a sad little affair:

lovecraftstomb.jpg

You’ll note there are several small offerings at its foot. On the large monument facing this, there are more tribute objects. I was told that they had surveillance cameras trained on it and taking pictures was forbidden. So, of course, I took this picture.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:14 pm

Hi, Shuko. Thank you kindly. Anything I can do to contribute to the delinquency of a cubicledweller is my honor and privilege.

Do you get the Big Red Hand? Whatever blocking software they use at work gives us this nasty bit of ascii art when we’ve been naughty. Once they instituted it, I sat down one afternoon and tried to get the maximum number of BRH’s. I found gun sites were an excellent way to do this. Later, I learned that they keep track…but, hey, they know I’m armed, so they’ll keep that in mind.

How are you at poetry?

 


Comment from Shuko
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:25 pm

Here’s an example of my work’s oh-so-diligent filter reporting:
http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/8631/filterzo6.png
They’ve blocked many blog sites, so I figure it’s only a matter of time before they get to this one, haha.

Poetry? I’m a fair limerick poet, but my haiku leave a lot to be desired. 🙁 I couldn’t possibly pull off some of the beautiful gems I’ve read on here about the dangly, goobery bits residing in nasal cavities. How about a limerick instead?

I once found a goblin so fair,
Whose body could glide through the air.
Indeed, heights it seized
When I suddenly sneezed;
This nose goblin flew without care.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:27 pm

Yep – it was the Necronomicon – and I always loved Abdul’s name. The book even had fake-real human skin as a binding. I almost bought it as a lark, but my lunch companion said he’d tell everyone at work and tease me unmercifully. I regret the decision.

BTW: I’d read that “Abdul” means “the slave of” or “the servant of”. So he would be “The mad slave of Alhazred”. Anyone want to clue me in to the truth?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:33 pm

Ah-ha! Weasel snagged a poet! Oh, joy!

For you, Shuko:

My finger touches
And gently manipulates
The booger stringy.

…and for Weasel:

Discharging a gun
Is second to life itself
In killing boredom.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:33 pm

Arise, Sir Shuko! Poet Laureate 🙂

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:34 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abdul_Alhazred

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:36 pm

and….Weasel, that is a seriously COOL photo of HPL’s gravestone. In years past I read everything the guy wrote – I think. Personally, I prefer August Derleth’s interpretation of the world of HPL. “The Trail of Cthulhu” is my fav.

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:39 pm

lovecraft’s sad little headstone has a backstory

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._P._Lovecraft

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:42 pm

Bingo, Dawn. Except Wiki doesn’t really address the “Abdul” part – which I’m sure is a real name. I’ve seen it too many other places. Is this another Duh? moment on my part? Could be….

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:42 pm

The boy’s name Abdul \a-bdul, ab-dul\ is of Arabic origin, and its meaning is “servant”. Commonly used in combination with another name, as in Abdullah, or “servant of God”. As such, the name indicates religious service and devotion.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:47 pm

Thank you, Dawn!!! Confirmation. Neat backstory on the headstone, too.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:47 pm

Oh! YouTube is banned at my job, too. That means, these days, huge swathes of the blogosphere are blank white patches. It’s very sad.

McGoo, the art school I dropped out of has a brief role in one of his stories. The one where the art student goes mad and becomes a ghoul. My friends were all, like, eyeballing me and going, “uh-huh, uh-huh.”

Stupid friends.

 


Comment from Shuko
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:51 pm

Alhazred sounds so familiar to me… I think that name (or odd variations of it) are used a lot in foreign literature. In particular, I remember hearing of two different Japanese comic book series with some derivation of it in their names (one is a kind of sci-fi fantasy manga, and the other is a pretty weird adult manga).

And Lady Shuko would be more appropriate, if the title were justly won. And trust me; it isn’t. :p Limericks are to poetry as rednecks are to humanity. Think of them as the painful pimples on poetry’s backside that keep popping up in odd places. 😉 Hey! That’s alliterative! Painful pimples, poetry, popping… I need to remember that…

Anyway, I don’t personally know anyone who believes in any of the fanciful stuff of the Necronomicon, but I know they exist. I used to work in a bookstore, and people in my area (which is in the bible belt of the United States, incidentally) go nuts over it.

Speaking of books and bookstores, that reminds me; people are stupid. Well, more to the point, publishers, editors, and authors are stupid. Case in point: I remember searching for and retrieving a particular title called “How to Read a Book,” for one of my patrons. The volume I procured for this doomed individual was a monster hardcover volume over five-hundred pages long, and the print was very tiny. I understand that the concepts contained therein were intended to serve the needs of one who wanted to read a book more proficiently – to retain concepts and events more readily, I would imagine – but come on. The title makes one think that you’re offering a written book on how to read. How the heck would one read it if they can’t already read?

Another example: in the self-help aisle, there was a book called “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Self-Esteem.” I loved this title, as it immediately began by calling the self-loathing reader a complete idiot. Very effective indeed.

And finally, my favorite: Sex for Dummies. This is a real gem. I think the best action any human can do for his/her species is to teach the dummies how to breed. That sounds like a swell plan to me. If you’re too mentally deficient to understand what goes where in the reproductive process, we’re better off if you DON’T figure it out, says I.

Whoopsie… I’m rambling. And off-topic. o_o

Uh… Durkha durkha durkha!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:51 pm

Uh…Weasel…I remember you posting a photo of the Devil’s Eyes once. Or his dog’s eyes.

Where did you…uh…get…that photo? If it was at Art School, don’t tell me.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 2, 2007, 3:54 pm

Rambling and off-topic. Perfect. You’ll fit in fine, Shuko.

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: July 2, 2007, 4:05 pm

http://bebo.com/FlashBox.jsp?FlashBoxId=1113497655

I put a jihad on all of you

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 4:25 pm

It was that booger haiku, wasn’t it, Dawn? I am so regretting it…

 


Comment from Shuko
Time: July 2, 2007, 4:30 pm

I don’t know why everyone’s so grave all of the sudden. Jihad are nothing to be worried about. Heck, the younger ones are even kind of cute. Why, just the other day, my neighbor had a baby one follow her home. She called it “li’l blightie,” and it’s currently hovering throughout their household, begging for table scraps and used motor oil.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 2, 2007, 5:00 pm

Shuko,

They’re ok when they’re small, but when they grow up they explode.

Just tell your neighbors to keep it away from the lawn fertilizer and the propane grill tanks.

And the cell phone!

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: July 2, 2007, 6:51 pm

Sex for Dummies? Hmmmm maybe there’s another use for the I keep in my car for HOV lane use….

Wow! Why didn’t someone think of this before?

 


Pingback from Tag, I’m It. « Stop and Wander
Time: July 3, 2007, 6:47 pm

[…] Weasel Times and Stoat Intelligencer has developed a lot of momentum of late. This blog sometimes makes you think, sometimes makes you laugh, and if you want to test out your intellectual acumen, wade into the lively band of witty commenters who have made this blog their club-house. […]

 


Comment from Richard Pryor
Time: July 4, 2007, 8:27 pm

Copycat bitches.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: November 25, 2007, 8:53 pm

I’m facinated, Bearpiss. Utterly fascinated.

Tell me more, I beg of you.

I’m all ears.

Omit nothing.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: November 25, 2007, 9:24 pm

Well, rats.

I was hopin’ to shoot the poo with Bearpiss.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2007, 4:22 am

That’s Bearpisisse to you, McGoo. I say that so you won’t hang out there looking crazy, because I’m about to biff that comment. It snuck past Akismet somehow.

I found “Great site! Thank you!” in the filter earlier, and it brought a tear to my eye, like seeing an old friend again. Those were simpler times.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: November 26, 2007, 9:32 am

Um, I figured this one out all by my self beforehand, Weasel. But thanks for your gentle tact and sensitivity. I just couldn’t resist the line “shooting the poo with Bearpiss”.

Delete! Delete like the wind, oh mighty Stoat! This one too!

..and – yes – I remember the “Great site! Thank you!” stuff also. Those were the good ol’ days.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2007, 9:56 am

I knew you knew. I just didn’t want you hanging out there looking like a nut after the spam excision. I’m providing context. You’re welcome!

Incidentally, Google say: Your search – Bearpisisse – did not match any documents. I reckon that’ll change in a few hours.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: November 26, 2007, 10:34 am

I think we’re on the same page. Thank you!

Make it all go away. Everything after the Richard Pryor post(?). This one too!

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: November 26, 2007, 1:51 pm

So do you guys go all the way to July when you want to get away from the rest of us?

 


Comment from Muslihoon
Time: November 26, 2007, 2:37 pm

This was such a cool post and thread.

 

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