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Thirty five minutes of rambling stoner gibberish


Did you follow the Al Gore link I put in yesterday’s post? No. Of course you didn’t. See, this is why we can’t have nice things.

Well, I just listened to the full 34 minutes and 57 seconds of Al’s address to Oxford, and I’m half dead of bullshit poisonining. I tried writing some of it down, but it doesn’t sound half as crazy in print as it does in Al’s inimitable lisping, halting, rambling stream-of-consciousness, bizarre emphasis on the wrong syllABLEs, crazy-ass numbtarded fucknut delivery. What a maroon.

I think I can translate: if we can scare people enough, we have a fantastic opportunity to take shit away from rich bastards and give it to poor people. (Don’t believe me? Listen to the damn thing yourself). Uncle B and I differ on whether he’s dumber than he is dishonest, or crookeder than he is dumb. I’m on the “dumb” side of the argument.

I know stoner bullshit when I step in it: this is the voice of a dumb guy who hangs around science nerds long enough to pick up a few phrases to impress his fellow dumb guys. Here, have some:

We have to connect the soils with the trees and the vegetation and the energy sources the built environment and the human system including population. Population is a success story. It’s a success story in slow motion. But we are bending the curve and the old models of what people once thought worked to stabilize population have thankfully been discarded in favor of a model that works. It’s a common system that shifts from one equilibrium to another.

Aw, see…that’s a lot funnier when Al says it. Though, come to think of it, some of this gobbledygook is probably because he’s talking to people who already know what he’s talking about, and he doesn’t want anything leaking to the straights.

No. Dumb. I’m still going with dumb.

The part of our consciousness that feels and expresses and acts upon urgency is tied to the recognition of those ancient threats and when one of those appears then that part of our consciousness that is aroused and alerted can instantly activate the reasoning process and we can respond instantly and then we can respond in a more deliberative way. But when the threat itself can only be perceived with the instrument of reason, pushing that recognition into that part of our awareness that activates urgency is an entirely different proposition.

Had enough? Ready to confess?

The connecting lines between the amygdala and the neocortex are asymmetrical. The flow of information from the urgency center to the reasoning center is quite robust, but the flow in the opposite direction is just a little footpath. And that really is at the heart of the problem. But it is for us as a civilization the aggregate bandwidth that really matters, because when enough people make that connection and when that connection with all its import is held in common, then consciousness can focus on the danger we face and the solutions that are available to us.

I think what he’s saying is, if you scare somebody you can get him to reason, but if you reason with somebody, you can’t scare him.

Only a man who never had a mortgage could believe that shit.


Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: July 8, 2009, 8:00 pm

If what you are saying is bullshit, just keep saying it LOUDER and LOUDER, and more often. Eventually people will start to “believe” it just to not hear you say it anymore. Al Gore is the only person who made money on both sides of the tobacco controversy. He is almost as worthless as the lisping and sashaying (not that there’s anything wrong with that)Barney Frank. Follow the money.

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: July 8, 2009, 8:48 pm

[blockquote]I’m on the “dumb” side of the argument.[/blockquote]Why do I suspect that not only would he agree in this instance, but that Uncle B would agree that this is usually the case?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 8, 2009, 8:53 pm

You gonna deliver a zinger like that, you better get your HTML right, sonny 😛

Comment from armybrat
Time: July 8, 2009, 9:04 pm

Here I am…just 2 more days until vacation, one nerve left that everybody’s stepping on with golf cleats. I read those quotes and thought “oh surely I’m just on the edge and didn’t get it right.” Then I clicked on your links and started to scream. Dear God! I’m on the “incredibly stupid” side of the argument. Really, if the idiot didn’t have family money to burn, he’d be the guy scooping horse shit out of the barn. come to think of it…isn’t that really what he’s doing for a living?

Comment from surly ermine
Time: July 8, 2009, 9:05 pm

Holy cow Weas, that creepy blinking is dead on Gore.

Comment from Pavel
Time: July 8, 2009, 9:06 pm

You got Mr. Occam on your side in the dumb vs. crooked debate, Mrs. S.

I personally adhere to the antiOccam theory: Gore doesn’t believe a single word of this AGW troofer nonsense, but he wants to see how far he can stretch this out. He is going to keep saying weirder and weirder shit until he finally says something that is just a long string of completely unintelligible sounds. Once he gets a long applause, he will say, “Jesus Herbert Walker Christ. You people are such fucking morons. That didn’t even make sense to ME.”

You watch.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 8, 2009, 9:56 pm

Let me put it this way. Al Gore isn’t only a deeply, deeply stupid man. He is also a crook.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

I’ve seen this schtick before: man in white suit spouting psycho-babble to barely-educated clod-hoppers, who have paid a fortune to pretend they understand what he pretends he knows.

If Al Gore ever finds the courage to face Lord Christopher Monckton (who has probably the best grasp of the AGW scam of anyone alive) then I will give him the time of day.

Until then I will continue to believe he is a mountebank. A cowardly, barely literate, incoherent, stuffed-shirt of a bullshitting, mendacious, larcenous, waxworks dummy.


And double prats, those stupid enough to believe a word he says.

Comment from Phineas
Time: July 8, 2009, 10:02 pm

‘ere ‘ere

Comment from Jill
Time: July 8, 2009, 11:24 pm

This JUST in: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31800290/ns/world_news-weird_news/

Comment from geoff
Time: July 9, 2009, 12:43 am

Didn’t know that he had married that pop-neurology to the global warming pitch. I hope you’re all right, SWeasel.

Pingback from Climate Change Koolaid — Winds Of Jihad By SheikYerMami
Time: July 9, 2009, 2:49 am

[…]  S. Weasel has some entertaining thoughts on Al Gore here and here. […]

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: July 9, 2009, 2:56 am

Son of a bitch…

I used the wrong syntax… That’ll teach me to post on other blogs…

*mutters foul things under his breath*

Comment from iamfelix
Time: July 9, 2009, 3:26 am

My vote is dumb as a stump AND venal.

Palate cleanser (from CO): Stoat-fu!

Comment from iamfelix
Time: July 9, 2009, 3:55 am

Comment from dfbaskwill

If what you are saying is bullshit, just keep saying it LOUDER and LOUDER, and more often.

As Lucy Van Pelt used to say, “If you can’t be right, be wrong at the top of your voice!”

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 9, 2009, 6:50 am

Amazing picture, Felix!

Comment from Red State Witch
Time: July 9, 2009, 6:52 am

I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I am.

– M. Python

But scientifically speaking, electro-magnetic fields appear as ultimate, irreducible realities, although at first it seems superflous to postulate a homogeneous, isotropic, ether-medium, or to envisage electromagnetic fields as a state of this medium.


Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: July 9, 2009, 7:36 am

Red State Witch!!! Thanks for making my morning. I shall use the M. Python quote on my blog with a hat-tip for you and S. Weasel.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 9, 2009, 7:47 am

That picture’s from the BBC’s nature magazine, Felix. The special weaselpr0n edition. Uncle B gave it to me for Christmas and I posted about it then.

Fantastic stuff.

Comment from Kentucky Kate
Time: July 9, 2009, 8:37 am

Little bunny Foo Foo!

Man, I haven’t heard that rhyme since God was a boy.

Pingback from Al “Jethro Bodine” Gore expounds on…god, who even knows » Cold Fury
Time: July 9, 2009, 9:25 am

[…] who even knows Posted in Articles of Faith by Mike Jul 09 2009 TrackBack Address. But Miz Weasley waded through it, so you don’t have to: Well, I just listened to the full 34 minutes and 57 seconds of Al’s […]

Comment from Waterhouse
Time: July 9, 2009, 11:43 am

Trees and vegetation!

To think Gore gets paid what, around 100 grand a pop for this kind of brilliant wordsmithing.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: July 9, 2009, 12:52 pm

The problem with satirising Al Gore is that all satire has to contain a healthy measure of the truth, and accurately parodying the utterly unhinged gobbledegook the man actually comes out with is beyond the capabilities of most. When you have a man with as profoundly limited an intellect as Gore’s wibbling on about cod evolutionary psychology (amygdalas? Neocortexes? Dude, seriously?) there’s really little to do except sit back and soak up the rich, creamy insanity. I doubt Professor Stanley Unwin (Deep Joy! Oh yes.) could have made this sound any more incoherent.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 9, 2009, 2:15 pm

“The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience, so they believe they are as clever as he.”—Karl Kraus

Comment from Jakeman
Time: July 9, 2009, 2:15 pm

“Little Bunny Foo Foo, I’ll give you THREE more chances, and then I’m going to turn YOU into a GOON.”

Yep, that’s about the size of it.

Weasey, what the heck’s in the preserves you’re eating? You’ve been absolutely en fuego lately!

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: July 9, 2009, 3:37 pm

The first quoted paragraph is gibberish.

The second paragraph is actually coherent, and you have summarized it accurately. That is Gore’s point, and he’s being pretty upfront about it.

His thesis is that rational appreciation of danger doesn’t get people up to actually doing anything – they have to be scared. This isn’t a total BS thesis: we’ve learned a lot in recent decades about how we actually think and decide, and conscious reasoning is only a small part of it. Therefore, it is necessary to work on the other parts of the mind.

As for crook/dumb/sincere, I vote for all three. He’s not stupid, but he is seriously ignorant (or more precisely half-informed and mal-informed). He knows at some level that a lot of what he’s peddling is fraudulent, but he believes most of it, believes the core thesis is true, and has embedded his personal ambition in the program. He couldn’t back out of it without catastrophic humiliation. Therefore, regardless of what the conscious reasoning part of his mind might conclude, the emotional and subconscious parts will never give it up.

Comment from Drew458
Time: July 9, 2009, 7:21 pm

I think he’s got it all wrong in paragraph 2. Given “urgency” the old noggin goes into Fight or Flight mode almost reflexively. It doesn’t activate any reasoning at all. We do respond instantly, but not in a “more reasoned way” whatsoever. This is why smart people have a PLAN for emergency situations, figured out beforehand. And he is also wrong to imply that a threat perceived by reasoning can’t then be acted upon without going into Fight/Flight mode. That’s rubbish.

But I liked your post, so I linked you. Sorry if the trackbacky thingies don’t work right.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 9, 2009, 7:58 pm

Thankee kindly, Drew. I’ll have to put Barking Moonbats on the sidebar, next time I update the ornery thing.

I built it stupid.

Comment from naleta
Time: July 9, 2009, 10:26 pm

I read your quotes of AlGore, and I immediately thought “Engrish!” I’m glad you listened to the thing. You’re a stronger woman than I!

Comment from Chris Wheal
Time: July 10, 2009, 1:15 pm

I think he knows what he’s saying is utter bollocks. He also knows he’d be torn to shreds by anyone like Chris Monckton or Roy Spencer or Fred Singer or Richard Lindzen or………, which is why he will NEVER debate any bona fide scientist on the side of reason and light.

I also agree he is fundamentally stupid (how dumb do you have to be to flunk out of divinity school?), but let’s not forget that he’s made $80 million (and counting) out of this AGW scam by starting the first of the carbon exchange companies. God knows how much he’ll make if this ludicrous Cap and Tax bill gets through the Senate.

He is a total charlatan and if there were any justice he’d be tarred and feathered and ridden out of the District of Criminals on a rail.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 10, 2009, 1:30 pm

I’m not sure about that, Chris. Clearly, he knows he’ll be chewed to bits in a debate with a real scientist. But I think that he does have a real stoner mentality. When he was running for President, I read an article (which was, hilariously, trying to talk him up as some kind of sooper genius), where he drew a picture of a bagel on a napkin and explained that the lines were our social connection and the hole in the middle was, like, the singularity and shit, man.

Not that he’s an actual stoner — I might like him better if he were — but that he’s naturally so mentally impaired, he thinks he has deep thoughts.

But yes, he’s made a tidy sum off of this. Just like his daddy (and infinitely cleverer and eviller man) made a fortune out of fake cattle sales.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: July 10, 2009, 1:50 pm

It’s the Dunning-Kruger effect. He’s too stupid to know how stupid he is.

Pingback from 1 People, 1 World, 1 Government | Track-A-‘Crat: The Roll Call of Democratic Delinquency
Time: July 13, 2009, 10:51 am

[…] this weren’t so scary, it would be funny.  In fact, I’m going to leave the funny to S.Weasel over at her site (and it is an awesome site), while I concentrate on the […]

Comment from Oceania
Time: February 19, 2011, 6:06 am

Hmmm and where is Al ‘Sliper-Flipper’ Gore now?

Comment from Leonard
Time: December 19, 2021, 5:39 pm

Fine way of explaining, and pleasant post to tke facts
concerning my presentation subject, which i aam going to present in university.

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