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Hurry if you want Ted Kennedy!

deadpool

Hear ye, hear ye! The first ever sweasel.com celebrity deadpool shall now commence (seriously — right now! Nip into the comments and pick Ted Kennedy FAST).

Here be the rules:

  • Everybody gets one pick. Just sing out in the comment section.
  • Doesn’t have to be a politician; any famous (or infamous) person will do.
  • What constitutes “famous” will be wholly and arbitrarily decided by moi, with an assist from Uncle B in the case of Englishpersons.
  • Your pick has to be alive at the time of choosing (duh).
  • When any chosen celebrity kicks der bukkit, the prize is awarded and we start again from scratch. (Unless the whole thing is a flop, in which case I’ll pretend it never happened).
  • Anonymous submissions are fine; I can tell you apart by IP.
  • If you want the fabulous prize, you have to send me a real mailing address. If you don’t want to do that (and who can blame you? I’ll probably turn up and ask to crash out on your couch), you can do it just for the bragging rights. And the delicious schadenfreude.
  • There will be no handicapping for age or illness; weasels don’t do math. This is just a straight-up, who-goes-next kind of thang. If you pick somebody young and fit and that person dies, we’ll all move away from you on the Group W bench.

I so don’t care if you’re a regular or if I never see you again; I’d better have good response on this or me and all six of my regular readers will be sitting around for twenty years waiting for George Fucking Soros to shuffle off. Fucker.

Him. Not you.

Remember, it’s not necessarily a death wish. You can pick someone you like and admire, if you think he or she is likely to be pining for the fjords anytime soon. It’s all about getting your paws on this:

bangers

That’s right! I will totally mail you a can of Heinz Bumper Edition Big Saucy Bangers (don’t laugh; the postage alone will cost me a flippin’ fortune). Don’t worry; Teresa doesn’t get a penny of your money — I took the karmic hit for you.

So, come on! Sing out! Don’t be shy. Who won’t be down for breakfast?

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:22 am

I want it to be a matter of record that, despite my recent brush with The Grim Reaper (all right – I ate a bad burger. Or maybe it was the cherries) I rose, Lazarus-like, and personally donated this fabulous prize!

It was entirely of The Weasel’s own choosing, naturally.

Never let it be said there is no charity at Badger House.

 


Comment from mongo
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:25 am

I’m gonna skip Kennedy and go for Patrick Swayze. I checked, he’s still alive (according to IMDB). Yes, I wish to capitalize on other’s misfortune. I’m just like that.

 


Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:26 am

Bowe R. Bergdahl. I hate to say it, and hope I lose. But desperate Islamic radicals are likely to do desperate radical (Islamic) things.

 


Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:27 am

And I like the “pining for the fjords” thing!

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:27 am

Stephen King!

He oughta go soon, I’ve been sending mental death-rays at his pudgy face since the conclusion of The Dark Tower series. And I got Billy Mayes in less than a year that way.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:34 am

Whoa! You got Billy Mayes, apotheosis? <moves away from apotheosis on the Group W bench>

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:38 am

Ooooo! I’ll take Teddy! Although I think Mongo has us beat with Swayze (poor guy).

And yes, Stephen King should be run over by a car again for the last Dark Tower book.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:39 am

Hm. That’s an interesting problem, df. We may no know what happens to that poor sod for quite some time. It’s like picking bin Laden — who knows if he’s alive or dead?

Oh, and for fuck’s sake NOBODY PICK THE PRESIDENT. We don’t want the Secret Service up in these parts, okay?

 


Comment from Steve in Tulsa
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:43 am

Kleagle Robert Byrd

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:49 am

I don’t know. Swayze’s put on a bit of weight and grown a little goatee.

 


Comment from David
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:55 am

Abe Vigoda! Tom will not let him off the hook this year …

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: July 20, 2009, 11:25 am

Former Inspector General Gerald Walpin, under suspicious circumstances quietly in his sleep. 

 


Comment from Gromulin
Time: July 20, 2009, 11:35 am

I’d pick the American Economy, but that will be more like a persistant vegetative state, instead of an outright death.

So, instead, I’ll pick Tom Cruise. Suspicious circumstances, involving a ball-gag, a copy of Mens Health, and forgetting the “safety word”.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: July 20, 2009, 11:49 am

You got Billy Mayes, apotheosis?

Actually I was just going for permanent laryngitis, but it turned out that without a voice there wasn’t anything to sustain him. He was like a golem of beard and bombast.

 


Comment from Войска ПВО
Time: July 20, 2009, 12:16 pm

If I can’t have Ted Kennedy, I’ll pick Michael Jackson..

..or,wait! Yeah! Walter Cronkite!

Nah, I am still going with Nancy Pelosi in the operating room with the botox-blow-out. Further, I see a NYT headline forming..coalescing..materalizing..

Pelosi Lib Retread Tragedy
Speaker dies in operating table mis-hap
O/R Staff drowned in Collagen

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 20, 2009, 12:34 pm

So, that’d be ‘Lip Flip Downs Dem Drip’ en Variety would it?

 


Comment from Войска ПВО
Time: July 20, 2009, 12:36 pm

..or, if someone really wants Babs with the ass-lips, I’ll opt for Vince Schlomi (the Shamwow pitch man) because he’s sure to get “hooked up” again and this time the skinny little jerk might go for one of those 6’11”-in-her-heels pre-ops who’ll slam him into next week.

Oh, in this case, “opt” means “Please lord, I’m down on my knees begging, I’ll go to mass and confession for the rest of my miserable life (and I am a CoE member) if you’ll just grant this one favor!”

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 20, 2009, 1:14 pm

A suggested codicil: Name your Dead Pool pick, and specify the method by which he/she/it shuffles off this mortal coil. That way, the contest doesn’t have to start all over again when Swayze kicks it.

Oh, and I pick Farrah Fawcett, butt tumor.

What? She’s dead already? Fuck.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 1:25 pm

I don’t know, jw. In April, who’da thunk Billy Mays, Mollie Sugden and Walter Cronkite would all kick it before Swayze? Or Kennedy?

The ways of death are rich and strange.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 20, 2009, 1:34 pm

Never mind. I really just wanted to say “butt tumor” anyway.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 1:58 pm

It’s easier to type than it is to say. Either the t’s run together into buttumor or you have to do a fussy little enunciation thingie with the the butT<pause>Tumor. Kind of like when people say “didint” for didn’t.

 


Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: July 20, 2009, 2:15 pm

“It’s not a too ma.” (CA Governor in Kindergarten Cop)

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 20, 2009, 2:24 pm

One would imagine it impossible, but the humor of “butt tumor” has suddenly dissipated, rendering life worser thereby.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: July 20, 2009, 2:34 pm

Who do I think tends to cross the thoughts into ‘who do I hope’. I won’t go there as my husband and children love me and do not want to see me carted off into an Ayers-style re-education camp.

I get the willies whilst contemplating the death realm. The Fates – Pelosi, Boxer, and Clinton – skeer me mightily.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: July 20, 2009, 2:37 pm

Ginsburg or John Paul Stevens.

Well slap me silly and call me Betty…anyone care to guess where Stevens was born? No peeking.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 2:46 pm

Huh. I peeked, Betty. I didn’t realize he was 89, either.

 


Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: July 20, 2009, 2:49 pm

Jimmah Carter. Pleeze.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 2:51 pm

THANK you. I was hoping someone would mention Jimmah, early and often.

 


Comment from N.O’Really
Time: July 20, 2009, 3:09 pm

I’m going with Zsa Zsa Gabor. She’s 92.

Or maybe Liz Taylor, now that she’s bereft of MJ.

Nah. I’ll stick with Zsa Zsa.

 


Comment from cbullitt
Time: July 20, 2009, 3:15 pm

Well, since you mentioned the “Group W bench,” I’ll go with Arlo. He seems pretty ok, but he’s got the same thing that took his old man.
Like you said, who’d have thunk Billy Mays before Kennedy.

 


Comment from Mr. Matamoros
Time: July 20, 2009, 3:26 pm

I’m going for Kim Jong-il…Kimmie all the way…that dude really NEEDS to be shuffled off ‘is mortal coil…can i haz bangerz now?

 


Comment from Schlippy
Time: July 20, 2009, 3:31 pm

I’ll raise yore Carter and pick Byrd. By cardiovascular disease. Or disintegration. Only the good die young.

 


Comment from Schlippy
Time: July 20, 2009, 3:36 pm

Our bloody luck he’ll still get in a vote on socialized health destruction before Christmas and his final rest / trip to crispy toasty land.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 3:39 pm

Steve in Tulsa beat you to Byrd, Schlippy. But there are plenty of useless old farts in the sea.

Probably why it smells like that.

 


Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: July 20, 2009, 3:45 pm

Art Garfunkle. You read it here first!

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 20, 2009, 3:49 pm

Update:

Frank McCourt, the author of the Pulitzer Prize-winning “Angela’s Ashes,” has died in New York. He was 78.

So he’s out of the running.

 


Comment from Schlippy
Time: July 20, 2009, 4:00 pm

Doh! The ‘Kleagle’ threw me off and din’t notice it.

Well I’ll throw a Britney Spears out there. By OD traffic accident involving being under influence.

I read the whole thread and keyword searched before posting that that time.

More likely pupster may have this one tho. Dunno if the OBambi is as rough as Billary when it comes to hit-jobs tho.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 20, 2009, 4:51 pm

How ’bout Pete Doherty – of everything-overdose?

 


Comment from Betty
Time: July 20, 2009, 5:25 pm

Huh. I peeked, Betty. I didn’t realize he was 89, either.

Why do all of the evil crazies come out of Chicago?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2009, 5:30 pm

Because it’s a toddlin’ town.

 


Comment from Oldcat
Time: July 20, 2009, 5:34 pm

Competitive Pressure, Betty.

You oughta see the ones who can make it there.

 


Comment from Michael
Time: July 20, 2009, 5:38 pm

Keith Richards

 


Comment from Войска ПВО
Time: July 20, 2009, 5:43 pm

Comment from Schlippy:

“More likely pupster may have this one tho. Dunno if the OBambi is as rough as Billary when it comes to hit-jobs tho.”

Yeah, where is a Fort Marcy Park when you really need one.

 


Comment from Allen
Time: July 20, 2009, 6:00 pm

I’m going to pick my top five WITH the method of going dead.

Al Gore – Solar Blimp 1 does a Hindenburg.
John Murtha – Trichinosis.
Michael Vick – Dog mauling.
Ahnold – Gunned down by his CHP escort during a steroid rage incident.
“Moonbeam” Brown – His head finally explodes listening to old Linda Ronstadt records.

 


Comment from Rustbucket
Time: July 20, 2009, 6:01 pm

Let’s go for Numbah One on today’s hit list…Amy “WTF” Winehouse

 


Comment from FFFine
Time: July 20, 2009, 6:41 pm

Well since someone else got Amy Winehouse,
(my first choice)I will go with Lindsey Lohan, that girl needs to stop drinking her food.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 20, 2009, 6:49 pm

Keith Richards

Hmm – I think we need a special rule for the undead like him Stoaty.

 


Comment from Gromulin
Time: July 20, 2009, 7:00 pm

Sorry, but Keef Richards actually died in 1988. It’s just the residual Cocaine that has kept the body animated all these years.

 


Comment from Sockless Joe
Time: July 20, 2009, 7:34 pm

Betty Ford. 91. (Though she may be come under the Keith Richards-esqe embalmed zombie effect, so maybe she could hit the century mark.)

 


Comment from EZnSF
Time: July 20, 2009, 9:09 pm

Arlen Specter. Stressed out RINO syndrome compounds Hodgkin’s disease and fierce case of Clintonian Herpes.

 


Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: July 20, 2009, 9:12 pm

I was going to see cbullit’s Arlo and raise him a Pete Seeger, but I’m kind of fond of the old Commie, so I’ll go with:

Ralph Nader – from “Natural” (and organic!) causes

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: July 20, 2009, 9:31 pm

I’m surprised no lib nut came out of the woodwork to call us rightwing ‘ghouls’.

 


Comment from armybrat
Time: July 20, 2009, 9:40 pm

Ok….I’m surprised nobody’s said it yet. I’ll take Ruth Bader Ginsberg because that warped and twisted bitch is long past due…..and really, the won can’t possibly appoint anybody worse than her when she goes, kinda like the sotomayer debacle.

 


Comment from ‘Nother Dave
Time: July 20, 2009, 10:30 pm

Michael Moore. Please, Random Deity, please.

 


Comment from MrsPaulsFishSticks
Time: July 20, 2009, 11:23 pm

Dick Van Dyke

 


Comment from bad cat robot
Time: July 20, 2009, 11:37 pm

Ahmadinejad. In a fire, surrounded by US Marines drinking beer and doing the “gotta hold it” dance so they don’t accidentally put it out relieving themselves.

Well, that’s what SHOULD happen.

 


Comment from EZnSF
Time: July 20, 2009, 11:43 pm

I’m changing my decision. I forfeit and also go with Ahmadinejad. Cept the fire-dancers will be IDF.

 


Comment from Dee-Subya
Time: July 20, 2009, 11:51 pm

She’s playing with fire. I pick her: http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/07/19/2009-07-19_hooker_who_worked_for_kristin_davis_says_eliot_spitzer_wasnt_her_only_governor.html

 


Comment from unclescott
Time: July 21, 2009, 12:31 am

I’m goin’ with (!fidel) Castro.
You gotta know they’re gonna announce it as soon as it happenz.

 


Comment from mesablue
Time: July 21, 2009, 2:03 am

Jerry Lewis

 


Comment from catnip
Time: July 21, 2009, 2:49 am

Garrison Keillor, run over by a Harley biker.

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: July 21, 2009, 3:12 am

John F’n Kerry, in the Rotunda, with the lead pipe a clue-bat.

 


Comment from docitburnswhenipost
Time: July 21, 2009, 8:09 am

Damn! I was going to pick Lohan (pills, alcohol, and aspirated vomit). So, I guess I’ll say Jennifer Lopez, in a tragic car accident somewhere in L.A.

PS Love ’em both, hope I lose. Now, if I could point and have it happen–I just want my school to be a nice place–then, Michael Moore. What? Oh bloody hell. Al Sharpton! But, Lopez. Final answer.

 


Comment from steve
Time: July 21, 2009, 8:15 am

Baroness Margaret Hilda Thatcher

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 21, 2009, 9:32 am

Anybody else getting a white screen when they go to hotair.com?

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: July 21, 2009, 9:46 am

white screen at hot air – ruh roh.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 21, 2009, 9:57 am

There. It’s back. How odd.

 


Comment from Lissa
Time: July 21, 2009, 10:19 am

Dammit, I wanted Castro! Guess I’ll have to do Hollywood, instead of the UN. How’s about Maggie Smith? She did NOT look good during the last Harry Potter :-/

 


Comment from TwoDogs
Time: July 21, 2009, 10:36 am

Bawny Fwank. Struck by lightning. Please, God ?

 


Comment from Merlin (the engine, not the magician)
Time: July 21, 2009, 10:45 am

If Garrison Keillor goes, I hope it will be death by combine – as driven by a REPUBLICAN Norwegian bachelor farmer.

Me, I’ll take Barney the Frank, found naked in bed, strangled by a hopped-up boytoy.

 


Comment from Merlin (the engine, not the magician)
Time: July 21, 2009, 10:50 am

Oooops, Two-Dogs got there before me. Well, Barney’s former boyfriend Herb Moses, then. And let us also pray that he kept all the bedtime videos he made of them together. And they they go on Youtube within 24 hours of his demise. All of them.

 


Comment from TEXMEX
Time: July 21, 2009, 11:32 am

Elizabeth Taylor

 


Comment from Red State Witch
Time: July 21, 2009, 12:24 pm

Jesse Jackson, in the dark, with nobody paying attention, from collapse of his ego into an event-horizon singularity. (Sure, that’s meaningless nerd-drivel, but it sounded cool.)

 


Comment from Ed Flinn
Time: July 21, 2009, 12:47 pm

Jerry Van Dyke

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: July 21, 2009, 12:51 pm

Did anyone have Beverly Roberts?

Since it’s been thrown open to people you like as well as people you don’t, I’ll go for Stephen Hawking. And hope I’m nowhere close…

 


Comment from Войска ПВО
Time: July 21, 2009, 12:54 pm

As this list grows, one begins to realize that the “Infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters” principle comes into play. That is, “To be or not to be, that is the Gw!*$@38&..”

In any event, it just might be Barney Frank strangled by Fidel’s Cuban Cabana Boy..

 


Comment from gnus
Time: July 21, 2009, 1:03 pm

Dammit, Rustbucket. Just when I had a good one… Okay, gimme Bono. Cause of death, choking on sunglasses.

 


Comment from Red State Witch
Time: July 21, 2009, 1:07 pm

Re the “infinite monkeys” paradigm, apparently some researchers tested the theory by putting a computer in their cage. The monkeys would hold down one key for a long time (“zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …”), then throw feces all over the keyboard. Infinite monkeys typing the works of Shakespeare, my ass.

 


Comment from Sockless Joe
Time: July 21, 2009, 1:22 pm

Sticking with my original Betty Ford, but as a tie breaker I’m going with David Crosby.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 21, 2009, 1:26 pm

“…some researchers tested the theory by putting a computer in their cage.”

Well there’s the problem right there – the computer! Monkeys are very old-fashioned and very much prefer typewriters to computers.

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: July 21, 2009, 1:44 pm

“Re the “infinite monkeys” paradigm, apparently some researchers tested the theory by putting a computer in their cage. The monkeys would hold down one key for a long time (”zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …”), then throw feces all over the keyboard. Infinite monkeys typing the works of Shakespeare, my ass.”

So, no Shakepeare, but a pretty good approximation of a Huffington Post thread…?

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 21, 2009, 1:53 pm

Heinz Edelmann, known for his art direction and character design for the 1968 film Yellow Submarine, has died at 75, German media reports.

So Heinz is out.

 


Comment from David Gillies
Time: July 21, 2009, 3:07 pm

I vote Michael Foot (former Labour leader).

 


Comment from Blue Octopi
Time: July 21, 2009, 6:39 pm

Hal Holbrook.

I saw him in “Capricorn One” last night. TCM ran it with Buzz Aldrin as guest host. Nice. A movie about faking a space mission, on the anniversary of Apollo 11. I was surprised Buzz didn’t punch out Robert Osbourne for that.

I can’t believe “Deep Throat” is still kicking it at 84.

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: July 21, 2009, 7:03 pm

I can’t BELIEVE that noone has picked Amy Winehouse yet. I’ll take her….

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 21, 2009, 7:09 pm

Sorry, dude. Rustbucket scooped that one. July 20, 2009, 6:01 pm.

I’m surprised nobody has picked me, on the general principle that I deserve it for running such a mean-spirited competition. But then who would send you your can of beans, Smarty Pants?

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: July 21, 2009, 7:21 pm

Ahh, missed that one. Well, I guess I could always go with Hugh Hefner, who will die with a HUGE shit-eating grin on his face….. (or retired porn starlet Jenna Jameson, from a tragic pogo accident)……

 


Comment from nbpundit
Time: July 21, 2009, 7:49 pm

Hot Air and Michelle Malkin were both down. Doncha read their
big bud the Instaguy?

BTW you got lots more than way big 6 posts. Heh

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 21, 2009, 8:01 pm

D’you know, I’ve never read Insty? Couldn’t tell you why.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: July 21, 2009, 8:05 pm

Sorry armybrat, I already picked Ginsburg or deadwood Stevens.

 


Comment from Rodent
Time: July 21, 2009, 8:46 pm

I’ll go with Sen. Frank Lautenberg, Douchebag-N.J., even though I think he’s also in the “actually been a Zombie for 20 years” class.

Hey, Scuba, how many cats now? (I was gonna pick “Scubafreak – eaten by kittens” but I think that’s actually more likely to be my fate…)

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: July 21, 2009, 9:05 pm

Just Schroedinger now. All the kittens have move on to new families (one even joined the army :-) ).

Of course, life with Schroedinger is interesting enough. I woke up at 2:30 am to make a pit stop in the middle of a HUGE thunderstorm last night, and the little turd comes curly-queing around my bare legs, soaked from head to toe with raingwater. Then, at 5:30 am, I started hearing a god-awful racket in the front room. He had gone out and found a bird nest that had been blown down and was inviting the occupants to come in and “play”. So, the doggy door got closed,the birds went outside, Schroedinger stayed inside (grumbling the whole while), and the feathers went into the vacuum.

He got even with me, though. Came home this afternoon to find my laserjet printer pushed off the window sill…..

I luv ‘im, but he can be a little shit sometimes……. LOL

 


Comment from Phineas
Time: July 21, 2009, 9:22 pm

Kirk Douglas

 


Comment from Rodent
Time: July 21, 2009, 9:38 pm

Wow, five good homes that quick. Good. Nice save there, Scuba.

We had a half-night of running about, jumping and growling Saturday night. I refused to get up and find out why. Since there weren’t any mouse-butts scattered about in the morning, I figure either they were just playing or they’ve learned to hide the evidence.

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: July 21, 2009, 11:00 pm

Damn All the lefty politicos for whose demise I offer Republican-brand candles have already been named:

Barney,Jesse, Nancy. Ted, Fat Al, Ruth, and the Kleagle.

Worse all the easy likelys like Fidel, Keith Richards and Amy Winehouse are taken.

Finally, the “For the good of our cultural society” like Garrison, Michael Moore, Stephen King, and Jerry (Hey I can make a frong laugh! Lewis) are picked….

Sigh…. Who has the grim Weasel’s minions left uncursed?

Oh WAIT!! I have an excellentas yet unnamed candidate who fits all three categories –

Larry King

You know you agree

 


Comment from Войска ПВО
Time: July 22, 2009, 12:12 am

Comment from Red State Witch:

“Re the “infinite monkeys” paradigm, apparently some researchers tested the theory by putting a computer in their cage. The monkeys would hold down one key for a long time (”zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …”), then throw feces all over the keyboard. Infinite monkeys typing the works of Shakespeare, my ass.”

Hmmmmmmmmm. I used to write my English papers in college that way. No wonder I did not get a good mark on that piece I wrote on MacBeth, what with the brown stains and all..

“..out, out damned spot!”

 


Comment from jdub
Time: July 22, 2009, 6:49 pm

sandra day oconnor!

 


Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: July 22, 2009, 7:21 pm

Kim Jong Il.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 22, 2009, 7:55 pm

Sorry, Scott — Kim’s been nicked (Mr. Matamoros July 20, 2009, 3:26 pm).

Good one, jdub! And Larry King is likewise an excellent choice, Lokki.

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: July 22, 2009, 10:31 pm

Hey, how about Keith Olberman and Janine Garafalo, whom I predict may mysteriously disappear up their own assholes in a perfect storm of smugness and bigotry?

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: July 23, 2009, 8:56 am

Suze Orman. Oprah. Dr. Phil. Peter Popov (sells jesus water on cable TV), and of course, Nick Nolte.

 


Comment from Former Lurker
Time: July 23, 2009, 6:45 pm

Can I be boring and pick Fidel of Castro fame? I can only pray and hope for his end. It would be a bonus if his brother went with.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 23, 2009, 7:19 pm

You snoozed and loozed on that one, FL. Unclescott got him:
Time: July 21, 2009, 12:31 am.

The punctuation may have thrown off your search.

 


Comment from armybrat
Time: July 23, 2009, 10:19 pm

jeeeze…just saw a clip of cronkite’s funeral with Andy Rooney mumbling a few words. Is it too late to change my pick to Andy Rooney?

 


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: July 24, 2009, 2:24 am

David Rockefeller (born 1915).

Not that I have anything against him.

If I was exercising grudges – Helen Thomas (born 1920).

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 24, 2009, 5:49 pm

Billy Joel is sick.

Hmm. When did he go bald?

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: July 24, 2009, 8:50 pm

I guess you guys are all kicking yourselves for not picking the Taco Bell chihuahua.

I’m going to stick with that theme and pick that death cat. You know, the one that smells death in the nursing home and comes over to the moribund patients so that they may spend their last hours on earth trying not to look at the hungry green eyes fixed on them unwinkingly? Yeah, I think he’s getting too close to the Grim Reaper. So he’s my bet.

 


Comment from SAC
Time: July 25, 2009, 6:58 pm

Larry Flynt, please! Scumbag. Plus, if Woody Harrelson bites it, it’s like a twofer!

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 27, 2009, 10:53 am

Merce Cunningham has died. Didn’t see that one coming.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 27, 2009, 10:54 am

Corazon Aquino isn’t doing very well at all.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 27, 2009, 5:24 pm

I had no idea who Merce Cunningham was, Enas, and I’m a little worried that you do. You ain’t some kinda ballet-dancin’ sissy, air ya?

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 27, 2009, 6:07 pm

Ha! No. I had no idear who he was either Stoaty until he showed up dead on a news service I look at from time to time. They report on even fairly obscure people so my “Didn’t see that one coming” remark was tongue-in-cheek.

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: July 30, 2009, 1:49 pm

Am I too late?

Suze Orman

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 30, 2009, 2:03 pm

Never too late — until somebody’s pick croaks.

Is Orman ill, or just a particular hate object?

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: July 31, 2009, 2:28 pm

I hate Suze “Quick, roll up every bit of your husband’s spare change and show him what a big fucking waste of time it was”
Orman with the intensity of 1000 Suns. My hatred of the Orman is an old, cold one and if you could create a picture of a bunny rabbit, wearing a ballerina costume, roasting Suze’s entrails over a coal fire, I would build a small shrine to the Stoaty Weasel where hippies would be punched with glee.

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: July 31, 2009, 2:29 pm

And I would like to pick Peter and/or Paul and/or Mary because
their hippie songs killed my childhood.

 


Comment from The Old Man
Time: August 1, 2009, 6:20 pm

One of my personal faves – Hanoi Jane. Crushed after falling past her ego and stupidity event horizon. Or killed by a dud NVA AA shell……

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: August 2, 2009, 2:21 pm

Heh.

http://tinyurl.com/m8sex5

 


Comment from Griffin
Time: August 4, 2009, 1:21 am

Paul McCartney. You can’t die from being an old prick, but you CAN die from being old. So, death by elderly complications.

Heart attack would pretty much be out, since I think he’s vegan anyway.

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: August 4, 2009, 8:30 am

I’ll take:

“Patches” Kennedy on a sailboat, involving Klonopin, and an abandoned girlfriend for $200 Alex…..

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: August 10, 2009, 4:56 pm

Relatives of Eunice Kennedy Shriver have been summoned to hospital as her condition worsens, CNN reports.

I don’t think any of us picked her.

 


Comment from MrsPauls****Sticks
Time: August 13, 2009, 8:35 pm

Yeah, this Dead Pool is all fun and games till someone loses an eye…or so I heard.

 


Comment from Anonymous
Time: August 18, 2009, 12:13 pm

Is it too late to take Robert Novak?

 


Comment from MrsPauls****Sticks
Time: August 18, 2009, 10:45 pm

Mike Wallace

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: August 26, 2009, 5:04 am

Enas Yorl for the win!

 

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