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Insert weasel (a) into IQ test (b)


We’ve only got one set of next-door neighbors. The neighbors on the other three sides are sheep. Our one set of people neighbors has asked us over several times, during the course of which we managed to drink all their premium booze and eat up all their delicious crispy salted snacks.

We have yet to reciprocate, on account of our Badger House is — to put it delicately — a shit-hole. Not entirely our fault; I was so determined not to waste a penny on a storage unit, I filled this house from floor to ceiling with packing boxes. We live among these majestic corrugated monoliths like a nomadic tribe, making warm temporary nests from throw pillows and blankets, trailing books and teacups and computer cables. Total shit-hole.

But then it hit us — garden furniture on sale! Our garden, at least, is lovely. We picked up a table and four chairs at a distinctly off-season price yesterday. While Uncle B enjoyed a doze today, I decided to assemble our new table.

So…whaddya fink?

Stupid Taiwanglish instruction sheet…


Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: August 3, 2009, 7:48 pm

Damnable left-handed, metric bolts!!!!

Comment from Anonymous
Time: August 3, 2009, 8:46 pm

Please not to unglue part 9 to part 7.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 3, 2009, 9:32 pm

Are you sure that isn’t a bifurcated landing pramis for a AV-8B Harrier, Stoaty? Just askin’…

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: August 3, 2009, 9:38 pm

Insert post “A” into socket”B”; pull up with even pressure while rotating counterclockwise until connection is firmly seated.

Remember not to breathe while performing operation.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: August 3, 2009, 10:23 pm

Mcgoo, Stoatie is in Limeyville, so that would be the Harrier GR9.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 3, 2009, 10:53 pm

Damn. I knew I’d get into trouble referencing a UK aircraft.

Comment from Janna
Time: August 3, 2009, 11:10 pm

Uh…is that photo before or after your assembly attempt?

Comment from Pavel
Time: August 4, 2009, 12:46 am

My first Subaru owner’s manual said poor performance could be caused by “unrighteous gasoline.” Sic, totally. I’m thinking maybe you used an unrighteous hammer when assembling your table.

You could balance a plate of delectable British food on the intersection of the edge and the cross brace of your table. Everyone will have to hunker down a bit, but hey.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: August 4, 2009, 2:22 am

Kinda looks like a poorly designed easel. Might have something to do with the Art School background. Just sayin.

Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: August 4, 2009, 8:34 am

Duct tape can fix anything.

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