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A Tale of Two T-Shirts

tshirts

Once upon a time, I wore blue jeans and grubby sneakers and t-shirts with colorful slogans to work, like a proper artist/programmer. Then my company merged with our parent company and we took a turn for the corporate tight-ass. Black jeans replaced blue jeans, plain t-shirts replaced colorful slogans. I still wear grubby sneakers. Fuck ’em if they can’t appreciate a weasel in uniform.

So here are two relics of a bygone age. On the right, a t-shirt I picked up at my local Army surplus store. It says CORONER in official-looking script. This pleased me. Then I was walking across the parking lot of a restaurant with an early bird special — a magnet for wrinklies. A worried old lady tottered over to me, put a hand on my arm and quavered, “you’re not really from the coroner’s office, are you?”

Haven’t worn it since.

The one on the left is my cherished Lost in Space 30th Anniversary Cast Reunion t-shirt. Yes, I was there. Yes, I’m a fan. I liked the first season when it was serious-ish and science fiction-y and I liked the third season, which was cheap and silly and camp as a row of pink Judy Garlands. I was five when LiS first aired and that was four years before the moon landing.

Guy Williams — dad — died of an aneurysm (or a heart attack, I’ve read both) five years before, but the whole rest of the cast got together in December of 1995, in Boston. It takes some serious mojo to get a weasel into Boston, but you don’t say no to the call of history.

I didn’t pay to go through the autograph line, but I managed to stand on the sidelines and watch people go through and chat with the actors. I must say, they were all extremely gracious and managed to look genuinely pleased to be there. Huh. Maybe they actually were.

The whole cast held up very well. Bill Mumy is no bigger’n a fried fart. Mark Goddard had been teaching High School in Western Massachusetts for years. June Lockhart is still America’s mom. She wore white gloves the whole time. Arthritis, or a touch of the Howard Hughses? No matter, she shook all offered hands.

mumyandharris.gif

Jonathan Harris was older than god, but still had seven years worth of cartoon voice-overs left in him, in that distinctive faux-limey accent. I always thought that made him a peculiar choice to play an American military man (albeit a traitorous one). His obit said when someone asked him if he were English, he said, “Affected, my dear. Merely affected.” He was from Brooklyn and had a proper New York “dese and dose” accent, which he tried to fix by spending all his free time watching British films. What he ended up with isn’t really British at all except to American ears.

Heaven help me, I’m developing a touch of the Dr Smith accent myself. I’m fighting hard, but it’s apparently the tragic consequence of fraternizing with Brits. Oh, the pain!

So! The Robinson Family blasted off to Alpha Centauri…when? Care to guess what year Irwin Allen thought a plausible date for Americans to begin colonizing the stars?

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 15, 2007, 5:13 am

I was saddened and amazed that I couldn’t find a .wav of Dr. Smith saying, “oh, the pain!” but I did manage to find this list of every insult he ever hurled at the robot. Good times, good times.

Oh, the year the Jupiter II blasted off was 1997.

Why are there no McDonaldses on the moon yet? I am ashamed of our space program.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 15, 2007, 8:35 am

“Oh, the pain”? Why not the classic “Oh, please!” he managed to utter (whining/begging for mercy) at every bad guy about to do him harm or whenever he was caught up to no good? I used to love that line.

I can’t wait until they start strip-mining the moon. Surely there is something under all that lunar rock worth strip-mining? A rich vein of chewing gum, perhaps? Yum.

 


Comment from Gnus
Time: August 15, 2007, 9:18 am

Turns out they were right about the moon. It is made of cheese. Tricky to strip mine though.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 15, 2007, 9:39 am

What? Is it some of that soft shit – Philly Cream Cheese, or melted Velveeta, or sumpin? Crud. Now we’ll have to ship it in tankers.

I was hopin’ for ColbyJack or a rich vein of bleu.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: August 15, 2007, 12:45 pm

I need to increase my dose. I looked at this and thought ‘Why is a coroner lost in space?’

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: August 15, 2007, 2:15 pm

Here’s a link to a page which has an “Oh the pain”.wav.

I’d just link the wav, but the owner of the page, specifically asks people not to do that….. so here’s a link to the site, rather than just the wav.

Oh the pain

A little fact of little interest is that Mrs. Lokki is Japanese; she grew up watching this program too, dubbed into Japanese. However, she knows it as “Space Family Robinson”

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: August 15, 2007, 2:28 pm

I liked Mumy’s character in the Babylon 5 series.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 15, 2007, 2:36 pm

Thank you, Lokki. I am fulfilled.

I’m always ashamed to learn which programs we export most enthusiastically. I once knew a Russian woman who learned English by watching Three’s Company. (Which, to add insult to injury, is a program we stole from the Brits).

Enas, Mumy’s first major role was a Twilight Zone episode he did when he was, like, five. It was a about a little boy who finds a loaded revolver in his uncle’s (?) luggage, thinks it’s a toy and walks all around town pointing it at people and going “pew, pew.”

No, wait, “bang, bang.” “Pew, pew” is a ray gun. Anyhow, he was very good.

He also did a stint for cocaine possession, I believe. That was much later.

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: August 15, 2007, 3:10 pm

He also did a stint for cocaine possession, I believe. That was much later.

“Snort, snort”

 


Comment from BGG
Time: August 15, 2007, 6:37 pm

It wasn’t until reading this post that I realized that Lennier from Babylon 5 was Will Robinson all grown up! Man I always wondered why he looked so familiar!

What an educational blog you have here…just recently I learned about a hundred penis euphemisms, and now this!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 15, 2007, 7:16 pm

Oooo! Wait! Didn’t Mumy also do that Twilight Zone of that Bradbury story of the omniscient child who could bend reality?

Holy shit! he has a resume. The first “Twilight Zone” I remembered was an “Alfred Hitchcock Present’s” and the second doesn’t mention the Bradbury story, but is a famous episode. He was ten when he did Lost in Space, and he had upwards of 30 credits by then!

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: August 15, 2007, 7:27 pm

So! The Robinson Family blasted off to Alpha Centauri…when? Care to guess what year Irwin Allen thought a plausible date for Americans to begin colonizing the stars?

I was going to guess 2007, but it’s 1997
thanks Wikipedia!

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: August 15, 2007, 7:31 pm

Dang! Weasel will you take the / off my html link so it’ll work?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 15, 2007, 7:37 pm

Done.

Wee! I feel so powerful…

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 15, 2007, 7:40 pm

Whoa! For once, I didn’t think to check Wikipedia. I didn’t realize John Williams wrote the score! I can hear it now…

I tried to find an mp3 of the theme, but failed. Which sucks, because I KNOW I had one, once.

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: August 15, 2007, 8:55 pm

Spanks weasel!

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: August 15, 2007, 9:36 pm

Hah! I knew something the almighty Weasel didn’t know – It’s A Good Life was the story and it was by Jerome Bixby. I read that story when I was a kid – gave me the chills that one did.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 16, 2007, 9:43 am

Hey, his name started with a “b.” I read the story as a kid, too, and it creeped the shit out of me.

Don’t know what happened, but the site’s been down all morning and the Bluehost network status dealie said everything was fine. Meh. I hate those things. They always lie.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 16, 2007, 10:19 am

Your site was down at 3 am (MO time) when I checked. Pity I wasn’t…

Its probably the fault of that hurricane they’re crowing about over at Drudge. We’re finally getting one (somewhere) this year – maybe.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 16, 2007, 10:26 am

A 54-incher! Now that’s a Tool any male would be proud of.

http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2007/08/my-thats-big-one.html

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 16, 2007, 10:26 am

Not sleeping, McGoo? That’s not good.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 16, 2007, 10:27 am

Good heavens! I was bracing for the double entendre, but it really is a 54 inch penis.

I’ll be.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 16, 2007, 10:53 am

Try puttin’ that one in your wallet!

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: August 16, 2007, 12:50 pm

Try keeping it in your pants.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 16, 2007, 1:12 pm

Words to live by.

 


Comment from TBinSTL
Time: August 17, 2007, 2:27 am

You guys really need to hear Mumy’s song “Cemetary Girls”. It was recorded when his band Barnes and Barnes was at it’s peak with “Fish Heads” and “Dead Puppies”. Bonus: it has samples from the Twilight Zone episode you mentioned such as the “You be dead!” and “It’s good that you did that, real good”.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 17, 2007, 5:19 am

Huh. Here it is: Cemetary Girls. It’s at the bottom…the audio player thingie is somehow an unreadably pale gray in Opera, but it’s okay in IE.

But I know you guys. You’ll go right for Fish Heads.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 17, 2007, 9:35 am

Well, at least it wasn’t “Puberty Love”.

 

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