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Rooting for the home team

heterosexuality

Apologies to my GLBT readers. I do have gay readers, right? Because if you guys are shunning me, it probably means my blog design reeks.

I went to art school, as you know — the Rhode Island School of Design. Which means I’ve had more gay friends than Marilyn Monroe. Put together.

PAHahaha! I’ve waited thirty years to use that line again.

Anyhow, I don’t care what you do as long as you don’t do it to kids or animals. And I don’t have to watch. And you shut the hell up about it every once in a while, huh?

But it’s time again for Stoaty to launch an appeal to base tribalism and try to move some merchandise up in here. Why, yes! You can get this design on a dark shirt, a light shirt or a couple of different bumperstickers.

The tagline is something a very puzzled young weasel is supposed to have pointed out when her mother tried to explain the concept of homosexuality. Why did Mother explain homosexuality to a six-year-old? Because she was a Thoroughly Modern woman. With some Very Strange friends.

Good weekend, all!

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from BuckNutty
Time: November 20, 2009, 7:19 pm

“I don’t care what you do as long as you don’t do it to kids or animals. And I don’t have to watch. And you shut the hell up about it every once in a while, huh?”

Thank you. I have been saying much the same thing for years. Who defines themselves, and demands to be respected, based on the sex acts they like to perform? Just shut up about it. What you do at home is your business.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: November 20, 2009, 8:25 pm

I have to give up the chicken? How the hell am I supposed to cross the road now?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 20, 2009, 9:14 pm

If you’re not following this story, you should be. University of East Anglia — the biggest viper’s nest of warmists in the world — had their emails hacked. Ver-y interesting.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 20, 2009, 9:15 pm

Oh, and Zazzle’s having a bit of a bit of a sale. Just sayin’.

 


Comment from David Gillies
Time: November 20, 2009, 10:26 pm

The Hadley CRU hack this close to Copenhagen has the potential to be all kinds of fun.

It’s the equation of tolerance with approval that bugs me about the militants. OK, so you like people whose junk is the same shape as yours. Big deal. I don’t care. Whatever floats your boat, but I’m not going to give you a frigging cookie.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2009, 8:24 am

Hatchet-faced cow confronts Sarahcuda:

palin-mitchell

That snarly object on the right is NBC’s Andrea Mitchell. Fortunately, security tackled her. One of several views of the incident around the web today. And Andrea looks like she snorted a pickle in every one of them.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2009, 8:51 am

Speaking of scary pictures, I give you…

e-yow

…the new president and foreign minister of Europe. Two nonentities driving a fantasy.

 


Comment from Schlippy
Time: November 21, 2009, 11:09 am

I for one remain in the bucket for Palin (not McCain). I believe she could have a real shot in ’12. The protestations of RNC commenters just makes her more popular.

 


Comment from EZnSF
Time: November 21, 2009, 11:16 am

I’ve been watching ‘Little Britain’ on my Netflix feed and all I can think of is “I’m the only gay in the village!”.

 


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: November 21, 2009, 12:03 pm

Boys have an outtie, girls have an innie. And they’re designed to come together for fun.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2009, 12:35 pm

Me too, Schlippy. She’s bright and charismatic and believes all the right stuff.

 


Comment from Dawn
Time: November 21, 2009, 2:29 pm

We could say the same thing about you, sweasel.
/shameless suckup

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2009, 2:58 pm

Ver-y deft suckup, Dawn. Nicely played. I owe you a coookie.

 


Comment from BuckNutty
Time: November 21, 2009, 8:30 pm

The store is looking great Weasel. For some reason the Hetero design comes up with 0 products. By the way, love the carbon footprint tie, LOL, awesome.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2009, 8:38 pm

I know, Buck. It’s a Zazzle thing. I had to mark the section PG-13, which means you have to go into Zazzle and set your account to see PG-13 or the whole folder is blank. So you have to have a Zazzle account. It’s a bad system, because…who bothers? Who knows they need to do that? How do they know the folder’s not really empty?

But you can see stuff with a direct link to it, which is why I put links in the post. Some day, I’ll build an off-site page for it that links back to individual Zazzle products and get around it that way.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: November 21, 2009, 8:53 pm

My kids were around six when I told them what being homo meant. Can’t remember who – neighbor kid, friend – brought up the subject of ‘gay’ but my son asked what it was.

me – it means when boys like to kiss boys and not girls

son – EWW

fin

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: November 21, 2009, 8:55 pm

I still want a ‘Guards, release the weasel’ t-shirt.

Oh, oh, and do one that incorporates both you and Uncle B. *your hetero one doesn’t count*

I like a crotchety ol’ badger.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: November 21, 2009, 8:56 pm

Say…what would happen if you wore your own hetero shirt? Could you go to jail for a hate crime?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 21, 2009, 9:01 pm

Release the Weasel is up next, PnB. I think I finally got a weaselface I can live with. Question, though — are you guys bothered if my URL is on it? I always resented the hell out of buying merchandise with a prominent logo on it. Like, I should pay you to advertise your stinkin’ product for you?

I’m always uncomfortable sneaking sweasel.com onto stuff.

 


Comment from BuckNutty
Time: November 21, 2009, 9:17 pm

ah, login. That’s kind of dumb. They should at least tell you that instead of just saying there are 0 items for that design.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: November 22, 2009, 8:18 am

Thank you, porknbean :)

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: November 22, 2009, 10:25 am

“…are you guys bothered if my URL is on it?”

Hells no! Capitalism good, fire bad.

 


Comment from harbqll
Time: November 22, 2009, 11:47 am

It’s better that you should put your URL on the design, than I should A) constantly be answering the question “where did you get that?” or B) write the URL on there myself with sharpie pen.

 


Comment from Nicole
Time: November 22, 2009, 12:10 pm

/agree harbqll

URL away, Ma’am.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 22, 2009, 4:04 pm

Okey dokey, then. A few weasel things.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: November 22, 2009, 6:44 pm

I’m always uncomfortable sneaking sweasel.com onto stuff.

Don’t be. It is you.

Okey dokey, then

YAY!! Soon as I get the dinner going, I’ll be back with a credit card.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: November 22, 2009, 10:11 pm

Done.

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: November 23, 2009, 10:35 am

RISD? Were they Goth gay friends? (I’m old, this would be a while ago)

Kennedy plaza with swarms of goths milling to and fro.

Good times, good times.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 23, 2009, 11:00 am

Thankee for your patronage, PnB. Wear it in good health.

Goths, BBB? Oh, dear. I am SO much older than that. We were kind of proto-Goths, though. Black is the school uniform.

Late Seventies. E-yow.

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: November 23, 2009, 11:28 am

The neat thing was the white pallor makeup and
the radiating angst. Mmmmmm, radiating angst.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: November 23, 2009, 11:38 am

But what were the girls wearing, BBB?

 


Comment from Clifford Skridlow
Time: November 23, 2009, 1:24 pm

If the lads at Zazzle are to be trusted, my “Release the Weasel” shirt is on it’s way. A very pleasant Monday, indeed. . .

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 23, 2009, 3:15 pm

Hooray for capitalism!

Seriously, thanks to all of you who ordered something. The response was better than I expected. At this rate, maybe Tiny Tim will get that operation at Christmas.

And thanks to everyone who didn’t buy anything, too. I’d rather have readers than customers.

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: November 23, 2009, 5:00 pm

The girls were wearing long black thingies. Kinda like Mortica Adams without that hip hugging goodness. And pierced metal faces.

And black eye makeup. And despair, lots and lots of despair.

Sometimes miniskirts but not often enough IYKWISAITYD

 


Comment from Tiny Tim
Time: November 23, 2009, 5:22 pm

Oh, shit!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 23, 2009, 5:57 pm

C’mon, Tim — it’s only fair. We told you we’d get you fixed if you kept pissing on the rugs.

BBB, a friend of mine once observed that RISD was the only place he’d ever seen cars speed up to hit pedestrians.

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: November 24, 2009, 10:47 am

Hit pedestrians? That is just so mean!

Time going through a puddle just perfectly and you can
splash 10 gallons of sweet muddy rain angst. How do you like me now Goth-Girlie-Wrapped In An Emily Dickenson Red Tooth And Claw Poem Burrito-With A Side Order Of Despondence.

Yes, I have anger issues.

BTW, can haz raining kitteh shirt?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 24, 2009, 11:05 am

Heh. Too low res. And I stole all the pitchers off the internet :)

 


Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: November 24, 2009, 12:05 pm

Too low res.

This fills me with angst so I must do some self splashing.

Then “A Free The Weasel” it is. And a “We Have Lit The Signal”

btw A weasel kicking AlGore in the harbles would be a good idea. He could be crying kittehs.

 


Comment from Ed Flinn
Time: November 24, 2009, 1:15 pm

I’ve had more gay friends than Marilyn Monroe. Put together

Works better with “Jayne Mansfield”?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 24, 2009, 1:50 pm

I didn’t realize Jayne Mansfield was a gay icon. I considered Judy Garland but…too obvious. Joan Crawford and Princess Di were contenders, too.

 


Comment from Ed Flinn
Time: November 24, 2009, 8:33 pm

I don’t know whether she is or not, I just liked the “put together” part.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 24, 2009, 8:51 pm

I was going for a “gay icons who are notoriously untogether” thing. But you’ve crushed me by revealing Jayne Mansfield wasn’t really decapitated.

Though getting scalped is closer than I’d like to get. Honestly, at what degree of head loss are you actually decapitated?

Huh. Kenneth Anger lied to me. If you can’t trust a gay Satanist Hollywood gossipmonger, who can you trust?

 


Comment from you dont
Time: December 3, 2009, 4:50 pm

Wow, a right wing shill who went to art school. How precious!

 


Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: December 3, 2009, 5:18 pm

Wow. A troll. How very precious.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 3, 2009, 5:38 pm

They are precious, Princess B. They are a precious, precious natural resource. I don’t get many, and they NEVER come back for seconds.

:(

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 3, 2009, 9:25 pm

Oh, shoot. His URL — http://www.reaganwasgay.com — isn’t real. I’m so disappointed.

Not least because I might’ve been able to generate a juicy hit-producing blogwar.

 


Comment from gREG
Time: December 7, 2009, 6:11 pm

I’m waiting for the day when we have to have debates about a man (or woman) wanting to marry their german shepherd. And it WILL happen. They are already lined up, waiting, just after the polygamists.

It was called “crazy” and “homophobic” 20 years ago to suggest that “one day homosexuals will want to be married” when “all they wanted was civil unions.” So mark my words: “A MAN AND HIS DOG.”

And why not? Because if so-called “gay marriage” ever passes, ANYONE can “marry” ANYTHING based upon the SAME LOGIC used to “justify” so-called “gay marriage.” Which is, basically, “don’t shove your definition of ‘mare-wage’ on me.” So, hence, “consent” is not required (but doesn’t a dog humping your leg at least show it LOVES you?), and neither does either of the participants need to be “human.”

And furthermore, define “human?” Because, unless you want to admit that abortion is murder, there is no definition that you could use that excludes a DOG from being HUMAN. The only sound definition of “human” is GENETICALLY-BASED. If you have the human DNA, you’re a human–WHETHER OR NOT YOU VOTED FOR OBAMA OR CAN QUOTE SHAKESPEARE, you know?

20 years and counting …

 

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