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“If I’m still alive tomorrow morning, we’ll eat my balls.”

Yeah, mostly, I just wanted to post that headline. Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Remember Armin Meiwes, the “Cannibal of Rotenburg”? No? He’s the German computer technician who advertised on the internet for a willing human sacrifice and found kindred spirit Bernd Brandes, another computer geek, in 2002.

Manfred Risse, the forensic scientist called in to identify the various neatly-packaged frozen parcels of meat in Meiwes’ freezer, has just written a book about it — “Last Supper of the Murderers,” due to go on sale in Germany September 20. No word yet on an English translation.

Risse (and the court) had to watch all four and a half hours of video of the death and subsequent butchery of Brandes, who actually gasped out that mind-twisty aspiration about his own balls while already horrifically (and fatally) injured.

Alas! He didn’t make it to breakfast. No balls-on-toast for you!

Germans. Foiled again by meticulous record-keeping.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 19, 2007, 6:22 am

There’s probably a cracking good French pun in there somewhere, since the French slang for balls is “eggs.”

Even after sitting through four and a half hours of his crime, the court only gave Meiwes eight and a half years for it. Prosecutors appealed (huh. I guess they can do that in Germany) and he subsequently got life…

Comment from porknbean
Time: September 19, 2007, 9:21 am

“One read ‘Neck Filet, 10/03/01,’ and other labels reminded me of supermarket labels, for example ‘Minced Meat With Sauce.'”

Okay, that is funny in a macabre sort of way……until you read the entire thing. There would be no way I could watch 4 hours of murder and butchery as a member of the jury.
I feel sick.

Comment from Tom
Time: September 19, 2007, 8:39 pm

With most French, that wouldn’t be very impressive: the average French penis or testicles would be, at the most, a light snack!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 20, 2007, 8:53 am

Gosh, Tom — are you really from humanpenis.org? I clicked the link, but didn’t click through to the main site on account of I’m at work.

The domain names people think of…

Comment from Tom
Time: September 30, 2007, 4:07 pm

Yes, HumanPenis.org is a real website which belongs to a group planning to open the second penis museum in the world, and the first one specializing in the Human penis. The first specimen, ELMO hasn’t been harvested or plastinated yet. Elmo-The-Penis is a large American penis and balls, due to be put on display in the Iceland penis museum by Summer 2008, then to our own museum. We’re looking for other expecially large ones. Care to donate?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 30, 2007, 7:01 pm

Haven’t got one on me, I’m afraid. Would a baculum do instead?

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