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Not our proudest hour



Sorry, folks — I got a bit jammed up tonight (hey, it’s garbage night, you know!). So I had a trawl through Auntie’s Giant Picture Archive and came up with this poor pachyderm.

Murderous Mary. She killed the local day laborer who was hired as a “trainer.” Stepped on his head and squashed it like a grape.

Locals demanded retribution, but it’s not easy to snuff an elephant. This is what they came up with. It took a couple of tries.

I was born in a little town not far away. I’d heard rumors of this, but never saw the picture until the internet. I think people feel pretty sheepish about the whole business now.

Sure, this is a downer. Would you really rather I’d drawn pictures of Carol Brady’s crabs?






Comment from USCitizen
Time: June 27, 2011, 11:03 pm

Pictures of Carol Brady’s Crabs!!1 eleven 1!!1

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 27, 2011, 11:09 pm

Hm. Is that because you’re fond of elephants, or crabs?

Comment from drew458
Time: June 27, 2011, 11:15 pm

“It was determined that no gun existed big enough to take her down”

Not too aware there in Tennessee in those days it seems. You don’t need a big gun to execute elephants, just proper shot placement. Any Army rifle of the day would have been enough.

This elephant hunter Bell was already world famous when the Murderous Mary incident took place.

I know, I know, this blog is SO not a gun blog. Sorry. Maybe you should do some crab drawings after all.

Comment from JeffS
Time: June 27, 2011, 11:19 pm

Maybe you should do some crab drawings after all.

What about drawings of crabs shooting elephants? I’m pretty sure Tennessee had crabs back when “Murderous Mary” was hanging around. Certainly they had guns.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 27, 2011, 11:33 pm

Are you kidding? This is TOTALLY a gun blog.

Only, they wouldn’t let me bring mine 🙁

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 27, 2011, 11:48 pm

Edison famously electrocuted an elephant. I guess it was all the rage.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: June 28, 2011, 12:40 am

Maybe they can do this with Napolitano, Holder, Mueller, Clinton, and Obama once the truth comes out on the BATFE Fast and Furious gunrunning operation…

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: June 28, 2011, 12:54 am

I read a really great essay by George Orwell about killing elephants in India. The basic gist was that the elephant (which went berserk and started killing people) had to die, but it felt awful to kill such a huge and significant life. Being George Orwell he set out the ethical dilemma much more powerfully and poignantly.

Comment from some vegetable
Time: June 28, 2011, 2:35 am

Sigh – when my ex muttered something about “Hung like an elephant”, I totally thought she meant something else 🙁

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: June 28, 2011, 2:53 am

Christopher Taylor:


Comment from Mike James
Time: June 28, 2011, 3:10 am

Tell you what, why don’t you split the difference and draw Elephant Lice?

Comment from Mr. Hill
Time: June 28, 2011, 5:43 am

When I worked in Erwin in the early 90s they were still quick to point out that the folks in Kingsport made them do it.

Comment from Three Quarks For Mr Mark
Time: June 28, 2011, 6:58 am

Katie Price releasing a cover of Aqua’s barbie Girl now she is out of the jungle;

I’m a barbie Girl,
In a barbie world,
Tits are plastic,
Son’s a spastic.

He can’t comb his hair,
He dribbles everywhere,
It’s fantastic,
Little black spastic,
Come on Harvey lets go party!

Comment from J Foster
Time: June 28, 2011, 10:29 am

Edison famously electrocuted an elephant.

Man I wish Tesla had just kicked that guy in the jimmy.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 28, 2011, 10:31 am

I have to say that this is the most depressing post I have ever seen of Her Stoatliness’s blog.

I’m not one of the PETA types, but, good grief -some people are too stupid to be on the planet.

Comment from EastAsia
Time: June 28, 2011, 1:36 pm

Ugh. Just—ugh.
I often rail at the sissyfication of the modern metrosexual, uh, human…but I’m glad there are some things we’ve gotten to soft to do.
Haven’t we?

Comment from Mysterion
Time: June 28, 2011, 3:27 pm

Yeah, it would have been more humane to shoot the elephant but they did what needed to be done. Were they supposed to keep feeding it behind bars many decades until it died of old age? Remember the killer whale who kept killing its trainers? Well, its back performing again in front of crowds as that is an “important component of his physical, social and mental enrichment.” Hey, does a whale trainer qualify as a celebrity because I’ve got an entrant idea for the dead pool.


Comment from J Foster
Time: June 28, 2011, 3:55 pm

Here’s a novel concept, how about they release the killer whale back into the bloody sea? Wild animals are, um, wild or something. If people are stupid enough to think they can treat them like kitty cats then we can hardly fault the animal for ripping their faces off just to get the point across.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: June 28, 2011, 5:30 pm

I see sombody already mentioned Topsy.

I’ll just be leaving then.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: June 28, 2011, 8:09 pm


It’s hard to imagine that ANYONE ever thought this a good idea.

Comment from drew458
Time: June 28, 2011, 8:36 pm

“This is TOTALLY a gun blog.” Great to hear. I must have missed those posts.

Yes, this is one of your darker posts. Here, let’s lighten the mood; Woozle goes for a ride!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 28, 2011, 10:27 pm

Well, it’s a gun friendly blog. The saddest part of my move — no kidding — was having to go down and sell all my guns back to the shop I bought them from.

Comment from Frit
Time: June 29, 2011, 12:15 am

Drew458: That image is adorable! Thank you for sharing. 🙂

Uncle Badger: Yes, unfortunately, there appears to be a population of people who should be too stupid to live, yet they continue to use resources which they are not intelligent enough to appreciate. Le Sigh.

Comment from Statler & Waldorf, LLP
Time: June 30, 2011, 1:30 am

I’ll be a minority in my opinion but I sort of appreciate the picture of dangling pachyderm.
It illustrates a victory of mechanical design over a beast that dominated a human in terms of brute power, but the brain is mightier than a live plant-eater tractor.

I liked the picture, there, I said it.

BTW, I did hunt in Africa with the rifle. I have had exactly 0.00% desire to hunt an elephant (even if I could pay for it). There are some management hunts where elephants are shot for the very simple reason of being too numerous. They did not even stomp down on a coolie – all they did was to eat.

Throw some dung pellets my way, now. I understand.

Comment from Drew458
Time: July 1, 2011, 12:23 am

Sell them? Oh, I feel your pain. The best way is to have a like minded relative you can give loan them to for as long as necessary, and get them back if and when you return. And if you stay away forever and ever, at least you know part of the family remains well armed.

I have no idea who is going to get my Dillon reloading press and my little arsenal when I go. All my relatives are total hoplophobic libs.

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