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So join us why, don’t you?

I know, I know…I’m an addict. I’m not doing myself any favors here, but I canNOT keep away from the tossed word salad that is Meghan McCain’s Daily Beast column.

I can’t fisk the whole thing or I’d teach my keyboard to fly. Gah! It’s like stream of consciousness lightly sprinkled with punctuation.

Only someone as rich as Meghan could uncritically accept the story that a New York City schoolteacher made $15,000 a year (the first woman she talked to). Or that birth control is somehow harder or more expensive than bearing that lady’s six children.

But most of the people who I spoke to had real stories of hardship and despair. Tom Quigley, a 23-year-old college graduate from Buffalo, N.Y., said he couldn’t find a full-time job after graduating from college. He’s taking a cross country bike trip, and he plans on stopping at all the various Occupy Wall Street gatherings across the nation.

That’s a real story of hardship and despair? Really? I couldn’t find a full-time job right out of school, either, so I slung donuts for Dunkin’ for a couple of years (I won’t lie; I loved that damn job).

I’m the daughter of one of the most long-standing senators in politics and I have been given every opportunity that anyone could possibly dream of.

Quick, get John McCain a chair!

I was given those opportunities as a result of the hard work from both sides of my family.

No, Meghan, you were given those opportunities because of money. You inherit money. You don’t inherit hard work. Your forebears may (or may not) have worked hard for the money, but you just woke up under a pile of it. If you want credit for hard work, you’ll have to do some of your own.

What struck me more than anything is that for the first time possibly in history, people aren’t being given the same opportunities that my parents and grandparents had.

First time in the history of what? Oh, god, this is such a tragic mess.

The last paragraph…oh, you just know how great it sounded in her head. All quirky and Cohn-brothers.

As I was leaving Occupy Wall Street, I spotted a man who was attending the festivities wearing a giant cape made of tin foil. He was pretending that he could fly, but the tin foil just kept blowing around him, making an empty crinkling sound. He isn’t the kind of superhero that these people need.

Aluminum cape, tin ear. Not sure the dude in the picture is Meghan’s bud, but he’s the only hit I got for foil and Occupy Wall Street (nicked from Weasel Zippers).

Okay, I’ll stop now.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 25, 2011, 10:23 pm

Not that I have anything against inherited wealth. I had hoped to inherit a bit myself. Turns out, none of my rich old aunties like me that much, after all.


But Meghan seems to think she isn’t useless because some of her ancestors weren’t.

Comment from Alice
Time: October 25, 2011, 10:36 pm

Love the, title!

Comment from Mike James
Time: October 25, 2011, 10:42 pm

Her mom gently explained to her that accepting the movie contract from Vivid Video wouldn’t result in her being eligible to go to the Academy Awards and meet the guy who played the vampire in Twilight, and that she would call her friend Tina and get her a nice job being the most important political opinion writer in America. And that would be nice, too, dear.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 25, 2011, 11:42 pm

Wisdom from my spam filter:

Greetings! Extremely useful assistance on this short article! It’s the tiny modifications that make the most important alterations. Many thanks a great deal for sharing!

He was peddling some Diablo 3 thing, I think.

Comment from JeffS
Time: October 25, 2011, 11:50 pm

While this is anything but original, I’d like to point out that I don’t see Meghan walking down the street throwing $50 bills to them “poor” #OccupyWallStreetIdiots, it being that her Mom owns at least one corporation. This rather detracts from her “message”.

But I’m gaining insight as to why she emphasized her boobies for that photo, so long ago: those breasts have an average IQ at least 30 points higher than Meghan’s brain.

Speaking of boobs, stream of consciousness, and random punctuation……Meghan has endorsed Mitt Romney.

Were I in Mitt’s place, I’d be cringing for at least a week.

Comment from Oceania
Time: October 25, 2011, 11:51 pm

I always thought that to be born an Englishman was to wins lifes lottery? Or was that an American?

If you keep importing more of these people from Dark Continents, you are going to fall.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 25, 2011, 11:59 pm

Actually, that was Cecil Rhodes, Oceania. And we all know where he ended up.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 26, 2011, 12:02 am

Somebody once re-punctuated a poster containing the library association’s slogan “send me a man who reads” to read “send me a man! who reads?!”

Okay, I’m finished. Join me why.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 26, 2011, 12:04 am

You’re second assumption is correct, Oceania. To be born an Englishman is to win an American. Just ask Uncle Badger.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 26, 2011, 12:09 am

The Library Association in Rhode Island used the radio slogan, “reading makes your imagination soar!”

I can’t be the only one who heard that as, “reading makes your imagination sore!” because they changed it pretty quickly.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 26, 2011, 12:16 am

Reading Oceania certainly makes my imagination sore, so maybe they had something….

Comment from Andy
Time: October 26, 2011, 12:28 am

It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

Fish with enormous boobehs.

(BTW, Mac autocorrect changed “boobehs” to “bobbers”, which would have worked too)

Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 26, 2011, 12:41 am

I always turn off auto-correct. The words it can actually correct correctly are words one should be ashamed to misspell.

Incidentally, Bobbers: Thinking about boobehs bobbing in a swimming pool makes my imagination soar.

Also incidentally: Long Live Boobehs!

Comment from Frit
Time: October 26, 2011, 1:02 am

To go along with Libraries, reading, and correct use of English, I thought you all might enjoy this image:


Comment from Oceania
Time: October 26, 2011, 1:04 am

Ahhh good old Uncle Cecil … now you know where I get my cunning wittt and sense of humour from.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 26, 2011, 1:22 am

JW – Would those Boobehs happen to be bobbers or sinkers?

My inquiring mind wants to know….

Comment from Oceania
Time: October 26, 2011, 1:49 am

They are all sinkers in the End Scube.

Comment from Oceania
Time: October 26, 2011, 2:10 am

Don’t tell me that’s John McCains fruity loin product?

Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 26, 2011, 2:34 am

Ewwww, Scuba, you just reminded me why I stopped thinking Marilu Henner was teh hawt.*

*She wrote a diet book (or read one, I forget which) that insisted on a veggie diet, the success of which was whether your “end product” was a floater or a sinker. Floaters were the desired result. Watching her hawk this book on one of the late-night talk shows took her out of permanent rotation in my “sore imagination” files.

Comment from Warthog
Time: October 26, 2011, 2:34 am

Don’t tell me that’s John McCains fruity loin product?

I dunno’. It’s hard to tell. He’s pretty well covered up by the tinfoil.

Comment from blake
Time: October 26, 2011, 2:56 am

Erm… =Coen= brothers, perhaps?


Hi, Stoaty!

Comment from Nina
Time: October 26, 2011, 4:44 am

While I do have some sympathy for those bothered by these morons, I can’t help but hope they hang on for a long long time–like another year. Nothing good can come out of this for the Dems.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: October 26, 2011, 6:16 am

Yeah, boy – been some real “Grapes of Wrath” horror stories coming out of that OWS bunch, especially the college crowd. Hard to decide whether to laugh one’s self sick or go Charles Whitman on them. Ammo prices being what they are these days, the former is definitely the cheaper option, though.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 26, 2011, 10:08 am

Ahhhhh…I knew I should’ve Googled that, blake.

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: October 26, 2011, 12:15 pm

Wow. I haven’t actually read her column before. It’s pretty bad. Although, her comment that she has what she has because of the hard work of previous generations, is pretty much correct. Success comes from hard work. Although, it doesn’t mean she’s a hard worker. Although she’s very attractive…

Comment from fashizzlizer
Time: October 26, 2011, 1:38 pm

Fine boobage but a rather dim bulb otherwise overall.

Comment from Alice
Time: October 26, 2011, 1:49 pm

I’m still stuck on how one is “given” opportunities. Then again, I always thought that phrase “opportunity knocks” was not about someone getting an opportunity, but about getting a clue – that the opportunity was there right in front of them.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: October 26, 2011, 2:24 pm

“New York Times bestselling children’s author”? Huh? Good god, it’s true (well, dunno about the bestselling part)



Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: October 26, 2011, 4:24 pm

Fine boobage? They’re spectacular boobehs. Attached to a very attractive (and somewhat intelligent, although vapid) woman. On a scale of intelligence, she’s not at the bottom, but she’s above average really. I mean, have you just talked to a random person that you meet? Man…it’s disturbing how oblivious a lot of people are about the world.

Comment from nightfly
Time: October 26, 2011, 4:49 pm

Not sure the dude in the picture is Meghan’s bud…

Actually, I think the problem is that Meghan has been smoking her bud.

Comment from JeffS
Time: October 26, 2011, 7:00 pm

Laughing Buddha, if you said “narcissistic” in lieu of “vapid” whilst describing Meghan McCain, you’d be much, much closer.

And while I won’t say she’s a stupid person, she certainly acts stupid. Much of her rhetoric is best described by Stoatie’s comment of “stream of consciousness lightly sprinkled with punctuation”. Perhaps she just lacks the discipline to tell her id to STFU. But she certainly provides little evidence of intelligence through her actions and words.

And I agree, she is physically attractive. But prior to engaging in any sort of physical activities even remotely resembling bumping uglies, I would insist on the liberal application of duct tape to her mouth. Because I don’t think that she would stop her stream of consciousness even for intimate moments.

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: October 26, 2011, 7:27 pm

Jeff. You’re right. Narcissistic is much better. And I now have an image of being with a lovely lady chattering away with stream of consciousness blather. It’s oddly amusing to me right now.

Comment from JeffS
Time: October 26, 2011, 11:47 pm

It’s oddly amusing to me right now.

Heh! To me as well. 🙂

Comment from Old Grouch
Time: October 27, 2011, 10:15 pm

“Erm… =Coen= brothers, perhaps?”

(Meghan -> “Cohn-brothers,” undoubtedly!)

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