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I’m onna be a Limey!

Today is the third anniversary of the day I arrived in the UK, making me eligible to ask for citizenship (as a spouse; it’s five years if you’re here on a work visa). It doesn’t have any effect on my American citizenship and if I’m going to live here for the rest of my life, I demand the right to vote for a whole ‘nother bunch of useless lying politicians who won’t do a thing I agree with.

So that’ll be the end of my immigration adventures. My, how time flies when you’re drinking warm beer and eating jellied lamb’s knuckles.

Actually…it’s not quite time. I have to have sponsors attest my good character (hee hee!) and they have to swear they’ve known me for three years. The vicar for one, and we didn’t meet until December ’08 (for pre-marriage counseling. Brrrrrr).

Also, I need time to pull money over from the States to pay for this shindig. But they say you get a New Citizen Welcome Pack after you pinkie swear.

The picture? I ran across it on the Web today and thought it was funny. No idea where it comes from originally, but it was obviously done as a joke from the beginning.

Can you imagine the casting call on this one? “Ladies! Ladies! We need ten ugly ass-faced old cows who look like they’ve never been kissed in their lives…!”

Good weekend, everyone!

p.s. The cat got up on the counter and ate the turkey while we slept last night, so poor Uncle B didn’t get his turkey sangwich. Me, I trimmed off the gnawed bits, fed them to the outside cat and had myself some fine eating.

Comments


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: November 25, 2011, 10:42 pm

Ugg. Turkeh eatin cat needs some Duct tape up under the tail…….

Girl, we Gotta get you back to the States for a spell so that you can live as God intended – with COLD beer, pizza and Rocky Mountain Oysters…… ;-)


Comment from MIke C.
Time: November 25, 2011, 11:35 pm

Could have been worse – the chickens could have crapped all over the turkey.


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 25, 2011, 11:44 pm

You should head out for the Annual Darkie Hunt and BBQ!


Comment from Nina
Time: November 26, 2011, 12:03 am

Happy anniversary of sorts Stoaty! We still have plenty of turkey left here at Casa Avena, so feel free to drop on by if you get a craving in the night. We’ll be here.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2011, 12:33 am

Speaking of sour old crones, have you ever seen this clip of Margaret Hamilton describing when her agent told her she had the Oz gig?

Poor lady. She was, by repute, one of the nicest people in Hollywood, and after Oz, kids would run screaming from her in the street.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: November 26, 2011, 12:35 am

Cat sandwich, anyone?


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: November 26, 2011, 12:45 am

ROFLOL…. UB, that has to be one of the EASIEST lead-ins to an “Eating Pussy” joke I’ve ever seen…….


Comment from pajama momma
Time: November 26, 2011, 1:20 am

Oh man, you’re not kidding time flies.

Happy moving anniversary.


Comment from Deborah
Time: November 26, 2011, 1:50 am

Oh Uncle Badger. So sorry about your sandwich. My favorite part of Thanksgiving is the leftover turkey sandwich (with lots of mayo, icy tomatoes and lettuce). Maybe pah made up for it. You DID have pah, right?


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: November 26, 2011, 3:05 am

Deborah: Shouldn’t that be “You DID have pah, raht?”


Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: November 26, 2011, 3:12 am

Did you ever get your English driver’s license?

Last night, as I usually do on Thanksgiving, I made dinner for all of us Night Shifters. I stopped by Dispatch, to drop off Virginia, the 3rd shift dispatchers dinner, and found her reading Beowulf! There is hope for the young generation!

Back in the 1980′s John Louis Anderson wrote a book about growing up Scandinavian in the upper midwest, Scandanavian Humor, and Other Myths, being a Lutheran Badger from Wisconsin, I own a copy. In it he wrote about the hot dishes served by the ladies in the Lutheran churches, ( hot dish is Lutheran for casserole ). He wrote the names of some of them, but alas, did not give the recipies. One of them was Turkey Lurkey Hoo Hah. I like to take leftover turkey on the day after, and make what I call Turkey Lurkey Hoo Hah. You start by putting a layer of mashed potatoes and stuffing on the plate, add a layer of chopped turkey, both white and dark meat, some corn, cover with a thick layer of gravy, and nuke until it glows. Good Eats!


Comment from Deborah
Time: November 26, 2011, 3:52 am

Oh yes. I have eaten many a variation on Turkey Lurkey Hoo Hah, and I am not even Lutheran (evangelical, si). My husband is insane about gravy. It took me a few years, but I discovered that his mother’s dressing was akin to cinder blocks. Without gravy, you could not eat it. By default, I became an expert in “giblets and gravy.” They don’t give blue ribbons for gravy at the state fair, but I would win. Really. It is so delicious that you could eat it like soup. (please forgive me for bragging.)


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: November 26, 2011, 4:03 am

Deborah, hey, bragging is good; however. . .recipes would be appreciated. Granted, if you share, you might not make the blue ribbon. . .but think how many of us you will have gratified!


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: November 26, 2011, 4:19 am

OI, I wish I was this clever when it comes to celebrating Thanksgiving… ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxMvpQCY7VA&feature=player_embedded

What an excuse for copping a feel!!!


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 26, 2011, 6:27 am

Oh one of the new catch ons here amongst young women and teenagers is to soak their tampons in Vodka, and inserting them.
They don’t have to drink (legally) but absorb it through the tissue.
Beware the Ethanoated Pussy! They have been turning up at A&E!


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 26, 2011, 8:11 am

Oh we are having fun here! Fractional Reserve Bombing in Wellington!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=864QYxmHsSc


Comment from Ric Locke
Time: November 26, 2011, 12:23 pm

Re: Vodka tampons

Word from an experimenter.

The theory is sound — soft tissues are good avenues for drug absorption — but practice reveals deficiencies.

Regards,
Ric


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: November 26, 2011, 1:46 pm

As a former, um, consumer of tampons, I had my doubts. . .and Ric’s link confirmed them–plus sending me into gales of laughter. Sorry, Oceania, your credulity is showing; on the plus side, we do now seem to have confirmation of your gender!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2011, 1:50 pm

We did not have pah. He spurned my pah. He’d eat a apple pah, but pumpkin or sweet potootie…nay.

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a plain cardboard box at Tesco that was labeled “Seasonal – Pumpkin Pie.” I opened it up, and it contained a squishy bag of off-white mush with black pumpkin-like seeds stuck all over it. I don’t know WTF. I meant to take a picture of it for you, but I waited so long, I didn’t have the courage to open the box again.


Comment from Justin Credible
Time: November 26, 2011, 2:04 pm

The picture might well have inspired this ditty:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjkLf_X88WM

Or not.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2011, 2:43 pm

That was masterful, Ric. I don’t think I could’ve written that article without crossing the bounds of journalistic…ummm…grossout.


Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: November 26, 2011, 2:51 pm

We have lots of turkey left over. Since we found out Butterball was halal compliant no one seems to want to eat the left over turkey. Want me to bring you some? :)


Comment from Ric Locke
Time: November 26, 2011, 3:32 pm

Heh. I have totally misplaced the original source of that link. I troll through Huff&puff so seldom that I would never have found it on my own.

Stoaty, I know you aren’t Southern, but you might try tempting UB with pecan pie (the link is to my recipe). Pecans may be thin on the ground in your neck of the woods, but walnuts make a quite acceptable substitute.

Regards,
Ric


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2011, 5:03 pm

MOST of the meat sold in the UK is halal, I’m afraid. Including fast food chains. Most don’t know that — Brits being as animal-mad as they are, I doubt they’d like it.

Forgive my ignorance, though — is the process all that different from kosher meat prep?


Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: November 26, 2011, 5:28 pm

It’s not all that different Stoaty, the killing process is the same, we go further to remove blood by soaking and salting it. I know it’s done under rabbinical supervision but a prayer being said during the process I dunno.

My big problem is the not being told. Kosher food is always clearly marked as such. It also bothers me that a prayer is being recited over MY food by someone who would gladly kill me. For a large company to go this far is very troublesome to me. Is this another of their plots to take over our food production?

Mark and I have been in discussion over the food issues in the UK. I may be eating a lot of pork and veg while I’m there!!


Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: November 26, 2011, 5:30 pm

Punkin pie with lots of whipped cream is full of tastyness.


Comment from Mojo
Time: November 26, 2011, 6:25 pm

Hey, at least it wasn’t the Bumpus’ hounds…


Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: November 26, 2011, 8:07 pm

Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, we can listen to an episode of The Cinnamon Bear each night, until Christmas! Listen to the Cinnamon Bear and the Crazy Quilt Dragon help two kids recover The Silver Star. A delightful radio serial from the 1930′s.
http://www.cinnamonbear.co.uk/download.htm


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 26, 2011, 9:56 pm

From my spam bucket:

Fantastic line up. We are going to be linking to this excellent write-up on our internet site. Sustain the great creating.

Have I had this one before? “Sustain the great creating” sounds familiar.

I like it, I like it.


Comment from Deborah
Time: November 27, 2011, 12:32 am

Can’t Hark—I cover and cook the giblets in two or three cups of water for about 30 minutes. I add 1 teaspoon of white vinegar to the water because it leaches the calcium out of the neck bones and makes the broth more nutritious. I chop up two/three stalks of celery, crush about a tablespoon of garlic, and about 1/2 cup of chopped onion, and a handful of fresh parsley—added to the cooking water. After cooking you can set it aside to cool down.

I don’t include the liver because I think it makes the broth bitter (I DO cook the liver later on for the dogs and cat—though I am presently petless).

I do not chop up the giblets and put them in the gravy— all I’m after is the flavor. I give the giblets to the animals (or throw them away) after cooking them. I also do not put hard-cooked eggs in the gravy either. Strain the broth through a fine mesh strainer.

I supplement the broth with canned chicken broth as needed to make about five cups of broth (scale up or down as needed). Measure the liquid. Per one cup of broth, make a roux of 2 tablespoons of real butter and 2 tablespoons of flour, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Stir and cook the roux over medium-low heat until it is brown. You must stir it constantly and don’t let it burn.

When you are satisfied with the color, you can take it off the heat and set it aside. When it’s time to finish the gravy, stir in all the broth and 1/2 teaspoon of white pepper. Stir over medium heat until the gravy thickens. Taste and add more salt and pepper if needed. Husband loves this gravy and has been know to pour it over everything on his plate. It’s a lovely color, and the taste is savory but delicate. I hope you like it.


Comment from Frit
Time: November 27, 2011, 1:22 am

Ric Locke: Bwahahahahahahahaaa! Thank you for that link! I agree with Stoaty, I doubt I could have written about the subject as well without exceeding the TMI factor. Tho I admit, as soon as the mention of vodka soaked tampons came up, I expected the end result, as alcohol has a known effect on sensitive mucus membranes.

Of course, this gives a whole new meaning to the quip; “Who lit the fuse on your tampon?” (- a question asked of someone being particularly and unreasonably bitchy.)


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 27, 2011, 3:17 am

S-niggers


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 27, 2011, 4:04 am

Willie Brigitte is thinking of blowing something up.


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: November 27, 2011, 2:58 pm

Thanks, Deborah!


Comment from Deborah
Time: November 27, 2011, 4:33 pm

I should clarify that I would never give my dog(s) a whole turkey neck. I take it apart and pick the meat off the bones. That is in fact, my biggest contribution to the after meal clean-up. I slowly, carefully, methodically strip every tidbit of meat off the bird, while my sisters do the dishes.

Then my bro-in-law boils the bones to get more broth so he can make turkey soup :)


Comment from Nina
Time: November 27, 2011, 6:44 pm

We boil the whole carcass too, THEN strip off every shred of meat. It’s in the crock pot right now, as a matter of fact. I just spoke to the Boy in Norway and he and the Girl were about to sit down and eat the soup she’d made from their turkey carcass, what was left from their Thanksgiving dinner to 16. They had a fine time, including the quaffing of most of 5 gallons of his annual Autumn Pumpkin Ale.

It’s my favorite holiday, because everyone can celebrate it with a completely clear conscience. :)


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: November 27, 2011, 7:32 pm

I can pretty much guarantee that picture was a setup by someone who didn’t care for the women’s temperance movement. Even Occupy has some hotties in it.


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 27, 2011, 10:40 pm

Do it yourself Turkey rendering?

Haven’t you folks heard about CWD/CJD in Turkeys?


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 28, 2011, 1:25 am

Can the Sub-Human Knuckle Dragger read?

http://paid2see.tumblr.com/post/13166029288/a-protester-handed-president-barack-obama-a-note


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 28, 2011, 10:57 am

Looks like Jews are being attacked in NZ, probably National Party Policy:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/6046779/Woman-charged-after-skinhead-machete-attack


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 28, 2011, 1:11 pm

Homigosh! We can’t vote for Newt! He has Down’s.


Comment from steve
Time: November 28, 2011, 2:58 pm

Stoatie:

A quick question, as you embark upon your pathway to citizenship in Old Blighty….

(appologies in advance to the easily offended)

Aren’t all POMEs bastards?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 28, 2011, 5:07 pm

No, by common consent, that’s the French. Hence the acronym WOCARB. As in “the French WOCARB” (who of course are all bastards).

Kind of like the Prophet and PBUH.


Comment from nightfly
Time: November 28, 2011, 10:49 pm

That sign those biddies are holding actually makes me WANT to toss back a fifth of Scotch.


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 29, 2011, 12:13 am

Hmmm take a look at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5p-gdXxOU8


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 29, 2011, 12:31 am

They’ve arrested her already, Oceania. That lady is in a world of hurt.


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 29, 2011, 1:24 am

Hmmmm it will be interesting to see what happens. After all, she is a minority in her own country, and is only expressing her right to freedom of speech.


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: November 29, 2011, 2:25 am

That poor child.


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 29, 2011, 2:36 am

Perhaps.

His mother will be sacrificed to the Alter of Multiculturalism, for his mother dared speak the Truth.
She has committed no crime, but spoken about policies of the UK government which are not to be Questioned through Free Speech and Debate.

I propose that she is now a Political Prisoner.


Comment from beasn
Time: November 29, 2011, 5:48 am

Why was she arrested? Cringe worthy, but arrested? Charged with assault on feelings?

Didn’t some labor email expose how they encouraged such immigration to rub the ‘right’s’ nose in multiculturalism? Shouldn’t they be arrested for manipulations of persons?


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: November 29, 2011, 6:39 am

Mrs. Compton: A halal butcher is required to recite a prayer for each animal killed. A shochet (kosher butcher) is required to recite a prayer before starting work, but that one prayer is sufficient for the entire work period.

Beyond that, there is no difference that I know of (in the slaughtering).

Caveat: IANAJew or a Moslem.

Incidentally, there is a KFC a mile or so from here that advertises halal meat.


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: November 29, 2011, 6:49 am

S. Weasel:

Who
Of
Course
Are
All
Bastards

spells WOCAAB. Where does the R come from? And where did “All” go to?

Googling “WOCARB” turns up lots of hits for vintage Jeep carburetors (Willys-Overland CARB and a few for post-W(ork)O(ut) carbs.

Googling “WOCAAB” turns up lots of hits for Woca AB, a Swedish company.


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 29, 2011, 6:53 am

Of course, Sweasel doesn’t mind Political Prisoners? Right?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 29, 2011, 1:08 pm

I suck at acronyms :(


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 29, 2011, 1:25 pm

As for Ranting Lady (I haven’t actually watched the clip; I don’t need more cringe in my life), there are laws about inciting racial tensions. Freedom of speech is less absolute here.

Once the clip went viral, they pretty much had to track her down. I doubt much will happen to her (though if the Child Protective services get involved, look out).


Comment from Redd
Time: November 29, 2011, 3:23 pm

Ranting Lady looks like she knocked back a few…


Comment from Redd
Time: November 29, 2011, 5:21 pm

They’ve stormed the British Embassy in Tehran, stoaty. Shouldn’t you as a soon to be British citizen go to London and kick some Iranian ass?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 29, 2011, 7:32 pm

Eh. It’s not like they’ve never stormed the American embassy in Tehran.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: November 29, 2011, 11:31 pm

ya see? THATS why you can’t have nice embassies in Iran….

(Personally, I don’t think there should be ANY embassies in Iran, they obviously aren’t capable of following international agreements….)


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 29, 2011, 11:34 pm

They stole the portrait of Her Maj :(


Comment from Oceania
Time: November 30, 2011, 12:25 am

Hmmm well I know for a fact that ERII hates Darkies with a passion. :)


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 30, 2011, 5:46 am

You do not, Oceania. Rather the opposite. The royal fambly has always been partial to Africa, from everything I’ve observed.

She was, after all, up a tree in Kenya when she found out she was Queen.


Comment from Redd
Time: November 30, 2011, 5:55 pm

The UK has evacuated their people out of Iran and have kicked the Iranians out of London. Good!


Comment from Oceania
Time: December 1, 2011, 7:52 am

So certain are you Weasel.

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