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Um, what?

Sometimes I get an image stuck in my head and I can’t rest until I put it on paper (or electrons, as the case may be). It’s like an itch.

Of course, that usually means it’s somebody else’s picture I’ve seen before and I’m stealing it.


Comment from Redd
Time: November 29, 2011, 11:20 pm

I think your bear has diarrhea…

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: November 30, 2011, 12:10 am

You just listened to Billy Connolly’s “Billy and Albert” special recently, didn’t you? 🙂

“For years, I thought there was a teddy bear in Heaven called ‘Gladly’ who had something wrong with his eyes, ’cause every time I went to church, my parents would sing ‘Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear’.”

Comment from Mark T
Time: November 30, 2011, 12:37 am

Ha! I havent heard that joke in years. I also remember hearing the word “euthanasia” for the first time–it came from the pulpit. For years, I thought it was a Presbyterian Mission Outreach.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: November 30, 2011, 3:01 am

A wain in a manger, too. Connolly has a great bit on lyrics, yeah. He’s a really funny guy for a dumb scots lefty.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: November 30, 2011, 3:04 am

Haven’t got much to say about cross-eyed bears, and was trying to think of how to introduce my link. Saw this and thought of the Casa Stoat. I’ve been trying to keep up on Europe, but it gives me a headache. Pat Condell is my conduit and should be elected for something.


(but I do have a new grizzly bear/fishing story that showcases my complete and total cowardice!)

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: November 30, 2011, 8:15 am

Aloise Buckley Heath (sister of William F.) wrote a very funny piece called “A Heath Family Christmas”, about getting her considerable brood of children to record a collection of Christmas music as a gift for their grandmother.

The kids were not entirely on board with this, as demonstrated by this interruption of a choral rendition of “Silent Night”…

Mother: Who is “Round John Virgin”?

Children: One of the twelve opossums!

But this, along with the ursine Gladly, are well-known mondegreens.

Comment from Deborah
Time: November 30, 2011, 2:51 pm

Permit me to confess my own youthful misunderstandings:
Chester Drawers. I knew that couches were sometimes called Davenports, so Chester Drawers made perfect sense to me. Honestly, some furniture maker could make a bundle by selling a little dresser called Chester Drawers.
Bob Wire. aka bobwhar. I was probably eleven or twelve by the time I realized it was Barbed Wire.
Bar Ditch I was almost 30 when I learned that bar ditch was short for borrow ditch. In mostly flat Texas, the dirt to build and crown smaller roads (not paved roads) is borrowed from the right-of-way, leaving borrow ditches beside the road (and a place for rain water to run off, in the rare event that it actually rains). When I was first learning to drive (at age 13) my father’s only advice was, “Keep it in between the bar ditches.”

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: November 30, 2011, 4:06 pm

As a child, I always heard one of my father’s three rules for living as “It all has to do with serfizdevolyume ray show.” Then I took high school biology and discovered that, yes indeed, the surface-to-volume ratio explains many things. . .and not just with respect to living organisms!

(love “Chester Drawers”!)

Comment from mojo
Time: November 30, 2011, 4:14 pm

I dunno, the proportions seem a little off. Head too big, body too short, just a tad. (Mumbled the guy who couldn’t come near it on his best day)

Comment from Becca
Time: November 30, 2011, 4:33 pm

While not a mondegreen, this reminds me of a church story from my childhood.

A visiting minister took all of us kids to the front pew on Sunday morning (in front of the entire congregation) to quiz us on the Bible.

He started with the younger kids first and posed this question to my cousin: “Who was the first man?”

No answer.

“I’ll give you a hint. It’s also the name of a part of your body.”

My cousin brightened, sat up straight, and chirped, “Peter!”

I’m not sure who was the most embarrassed, the preacher or the kid’s parents.

Comment from Redd
Time: November 30, 2011, 4:52 pm

I use to hear older kids calling each other names and I had no idea what they meant. So, being the little nerd I was, I tried to find them in a dictionary:

Niger: A river in Nigeria.
Jaguar: A large black cat living in Central & South America.
Kant: Immanuel Kant, a German philosopher.

I had no idea what the big deal was but I knew these words had power and began to use them liberally. I got slugged over Niger and Jaguar but no one knew what I meant when I yelled, You Kant! And obviously, neither did I…

Anyway, dictionaries — useless!

Comment from Noelegy
Time: November 30, 2011, 7:41 pm

Awww, Gladly is adorable.

Comment from Redd
Time: November 30, 2011, 8:08 pm

I hate bears. I hate anything that can kill and eat me. It’s bad enough to be killed but to be converted into scat, too?Shudder! Get them before they get you, I say.

Comment from Alice
Time: November 30, 2011, 11:15 pm

I’ve got a million of these, but my favorite remains “No Mayonnaise in Ireland” by John Donne. (I first encountered that many decades ago but it seems to have resurfaced in several places with varying claims as to origin.)

Comment from Pupster
Time: November 30, 2011, 11:57 pm

I did not know bar ditch.

*feels smarter*

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 1, 2011, 12:45 am

And then there’s Mozart’s “I’m Inclined to Knock Music.”

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: December 1, 2011, 9:23 pm

You take him Paco, I do not like the way Gladly looks at me.

How about:

London Derriere

Comment from Alice
Time: December 1, 2011, 9:50 pm

Many years spent puzzling over this idiom “You broke my wheel”.

You know – “You broke my wheel, but what a thrill – Goodness, gracious GREAT balls of fire”.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 1, 2011, 10:45 pm

Do you know the Archive of Misheard Lyrics, Alice? It’s called kissthisguy.com because of “‘Scuse me, while I kiss this guy…” one of the most mis-heard lyrics ever.

Comment from Alice
Time: December 1, 2011, 11:14 pm

Thanks! – that site is new to me, though I know I’ve encountered others with similar missions. Now I have to search for every song I’ve ever misheard to see if they “made the list” already…

Comment from Alice
Time: December 1, 2011, 11:22 pm

Oh wow – there are SEVEN songs with misheard lyrics containing ‘weasel’. http://www.kissthisguy.com/search_results.php?SearchType=Misheard&SearchAccuracy=contains&SearchTerm=weasel

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: December 1, 2011, 11:56 pm

I guess that’s the advantage of knowing song lyrics only through captioning when they’re on TV…

My sister once sang, “Monkeys that fly with the moon on their wings,” which was naturally provocative of much amusement in the Peel household.

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: December 2, 2011, 12:02 am

Stoaty: Thank you for the link you gave Alice, that’s an awesome site.

Comment from Alice
Time: December 2, 2011, 12:12 am

Mrs. Peel – I just LOVE closed captioning! It’s especially useful when watching older British films when the sound is all ambient noises (walking, chewing, doors closing) while the dialog is run through some sort of muffling/buzzing baffle. (perhaps an electric kazoo).

Comment from James P
Time: December 6, 2011, 11:02 am

Picky, I know, but it’s ‘Gladly my cross I’d bear’ (which is better, if it happens to be your bear).

On a similar theme, I have “the piece of cod that passeth all understanding” – I ate plenty of that as a child. I have seen a fish and chip shop called ‘in cod we trust’, too, although that was probably intentional…

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