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Happy T’day!

turkeyanim

Happy Thanksgiving! Also the ninth anniversary of my permanent move to the UK. (The actual date was the 22nd, I think, but it was Thanksgiving 2008).

Hope you all have a good’un and make complete pigs of yourselves, and don’t forget the MST3K Turkey Day Day Marathon!

Not to mention tomorrow’s new Dead Pool, queued up and ready to go!

November 23, 2017 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 8

Boo!

halloween

Happy Hallowe’en! They don’t really do this one here, or at least they haven’t until recently. Not even any scary movies on TV.

I love a good ghost story. I don’t even know why. I’m as psychic as a potato.

I live in a 400 year old house, I go to a 600 year old church and I handle ancient parchments all day and nary a spooky feeling or an aura or an orb or nothing. The only time I’ve ever gotten the willies was in the woods back home, and I’m sure our species is wired to get the willies in the woods sometimes.

Any spooky movie recommendations? We don’t have Netflix, but we have Amazon Prime. And YouTube, of course.

October 31, 2017 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 18

Hells YES we celebrate the Fourth in this house

And the Queen’s birthday and Squirrel Appreciation Day and Talk Like a Pirate Day. If there’s a celebration — particularly one that involves food, booze or fireworks — I’m yer weasel. (Image pinched from previous Fourth).

Just occurred to me. If I get my act together this year, this might be the last Fourth of July I ain’t British. OH NOES!

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

July 4, 2017 — 10:20 pm
Comments: 13

I found a loophole, said Weasel!

twee

Our Christmas tree. Yeah, it always looks lame in black and white, but I give it a try every year. Trust me, it was lovely.

I know some people take the tree down the minute Christmas is over, but that’s definitely not us. We usually aim for Twelfth Night, because it’s traditional and we’re like that, but January 5th (or is it the 6th?) just seemed too soon. The tree was still lovely, hadn’t dropped a needle, and we weren’t quite ready to wave g’bye to Christmas.

But the other traditional day is Candlemas (did I mention we’re traditional?). But that’s February 2nd, and that just seemed way too long, even for big crybabies like us.

Then I found a loophole – Old Twelvey Night! This is where Twelfth Night fell before adoption of the Gregorian Calendar and some hearty Brits still observe it. Because pff – that was just, like, 1582.

I love these people.

It’s tonight — the 17th of January. We’re going to take our tree down and do it right. Bottle of fizz, a nice steak dinner. I’m not going in in the morning so we can sleep in. Try to hold onto the true meaning of Old Twelvey Night. Which is steak and champagne, I guess. I don’t know. You can just make this shit up if you want.

Wishing you a very merry Old Twelvey Night, from our household to yours!

January 17, 2017 — 8:57 pm
Comments: 11

Turkeys: the paste-eating mouth breathers of the poultry world

turkeys

I stole this picture from National Geographic. At first, I couldn’t work out what it was. Some sort of two-headed conjoined twin turkey maybe. But no, it’s just a pair of Meleagris gallopavo being they own brilliant selfs.

I’ll be honest with you — I think our turkey this year had a leeeetle too much fresh air and healthful exercise. She was tough-ish. More indolence and lounging around the barn for the next one, I think.

Anyway, I’ve boiled down the carcass and made a pie for tonight. A bit of soup tomorrow, and that’s the bird done.

On to the ham!

December 28, 2016 — 11:07 pm
Comments: 14

Happy Boxing Day!

boxinggloves

All these years in the UK, I still haven’t worked out WTF that means.

We had a lovely Christmas: tons of lovely loot, heaps of lovely food. That social butterfly of a free-range turkey was delicious, though her legs reflected a toughness born of all the exercise she got running around gossiping with her turkey friends in flowery meadows. The cats get that part.

I still haven’t recovered my stamina, though, so I won’t linger. Santa prescribes indolence and reading of books.

Hope yours was as nice as ours!

December 26, 2016 — 10:31 pm
Comments: 16

Turkey ’bout done

turkey

When I went picture shopping, the caption to the Obama image was like “The President sheds a tear over…” and I didn’t even click the link to find out “over what.” I had a frisson of delight thinking — oh, I know. President Trump will let us down in a thousand ways — but it will surely be a long, long time before we see a president boo-hoo in public over anything again.

I haven’t forgotten — Leaky George Bush started it. And let’s not think about John Boehner.

Hope your turkey was de-lightful. Ours isn’t done yet — we do Thanksgiving as a midnight meal. With champagne. It’s a tradition. Hey, you move to a foreign country, you get to make all this ancient traditional shit up.

That’s a few hours yet, so I’m just boiling the sweet patooties (preparatory to candying) and pre-soaking the dressing. In butter. Last of the imported Pepperidge Farm. Man, I love this holiday.

p.s. We are totally stoked — we just heard a real, live owl going HOO HOO HOOOOOO in the back garden!

p.p.s. Oh, yeah – and I arrived in the UK for keeps Thanksgiving 2008. Eight years of limey goodness. T’day was the 27th that year — the 24th, the movers came and sucked all my worldly goods out the front door. May I never witness such a thing again!

November 24, 2016 — 9:03 pm
Comments: 18

Here we go!

thanksgiving

We’ve just got back from buying an obscene amount of food for tomorrow. The best part is, what does he know from Thanksgiving? I can tell him, “oh, yeah, dude — gin and red velvet cupcakes are totally part of a traditional Turkey Day celebration.”

Brits don’t celebrate Thanksgiving (duh), but they are aware of it and they try to show willing. I’m often asked if, like, they should buy me a card or something. I’m going in for a bit tomorrow, but taking Friday to accommodate the tryptophan coma.

So who and what are you having tomorrow?

November 23, 2016 — 9:48 pm
Comments: 20

Boo!

carvingset

Carving pumpkins is one of those things I think I should be good at, because arty. Crosswords is another, because wordy. In truth, I suck at both.

So Uncle B buyed me this nifty pumpkin carving toolkit last week. Did it help? Meh.

Here’s a proper link for the day: Ten Spooky Archaeological Finds. (Ancient Origins is a better website than it looks. I find interesting stuff there and, when in doubt, I cross reference it to more boring sites).

Happy Halloween! (Shoot, I should be doing an invoice tonight).

October 31, 2016 — 8:55 pm
Comments: 19

Freeeeeedommmmmmm!

woodpecker

Happy Independence Day, my fellow liberated colonials. Which I guess includes my British neighbors now.

Early afternoon was lovely here, which makes a great change (we’ve had the most miserably cold, gray Summer so far). We sat in the garden with a couple of books and a bottle of wine and grilled burgers and corn on the cob and hummed Stars and Stripes Forever.

And then fell asleep, because wine, and had terrible dreams, because sleeping in the daytime.

Hope you had a wonderful Fourth. I’ve vicariously enjoyed the parades in my FaceBook feed today.

You remember that pic, of course, Weasel Attempts to Murder Woodpecker. From the header of the photographer’s Twitter feed, it looks like someone made him a ceramic one.

sock it to me

July 4, 2016 — 9:54 pm
Comments: 5