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Rabbit holes

caynton

This thing has just popped up in my Facebook feed, so you may well have seen it. It’s a photo essay of a cave underneath a Shropshire field that was used as a place of worship by the Knights Templar. It’s a cool story: you squeeze in through a hole not much bigger than a rabbit hole, and there’s this 700-year-old maze of twisty passages carved out of the rock.

Bonus: if you follow this link in the Independent and you’re lucky in the ad rotation, you’ll get to see an animated version of the Lloyd’s ad I posted about yesterday. You know, the interracial gay wedding proposal one.

ANYway, the reason this story has popped up now (not immediately apparent unless you dig around) is that someone has been let in to take photos. Actually, the caves have been known about since forever (I guess, I couldn’t find a date) but they’ve been sealed since 2012.

The owners (it’s on private land) tried to accommodate everyone who wanted to go in, from pagans to satanists to the merely curious, and so, naturally, the graffiti, vandalism and garbage leaving got out of hand. Put up gates, gates torn down, so they sealed the whole thing. With earth, I guess.

One of the links I followed from Facebook promised video. Then I realized I was visiting the dang old Knights Templar themselves!

An organization calling themselves that, anyway. And very peculiar it is, too. The site is full of typos and grammar-os. The graphics look borrowed from video games. Their FAQ takes pain to describe the organization as non-political, not racist and welcoming to women. So, naturally, it appears to be ultra right wing, anti-feminist and all about the cultural defense of Western Christian civilization. Its centered in Brussels, of all places.

Cultural push-back. We’re going to see a lot of this.

March 8, 2017 — 8:06 pm
Comments: 13

That’s entertainment

popcorn

Watching, amazed, the latest Wikileaks kerfuffle unfold this evening. I don’t usually follow news stories through Twitter, but sometimes it’s more fun than straight news on a fast-moving topic. May I recommend the Vault 7 hashtag?

Speaking of Twitter, my bank tweeted this picture at me. I like that picture. That’s the kind of picture they use when they want my business.

When they want to virtue-signal, they use this imagery. Lest you think I’m just a grumpy old bigot, they’ve been hammering that picture since before Christmas. It’s on multiple banners hanging from the ceiling of our local branch. It’s the main image on the sign-in page of their online banking site. We get it already.

I like businesses (and politicians) better when they’re pandering to me, not trying to teach me Very Special life lessons or give me my medicine.

Eh. Back to Twitter. And watch your mouth — the TV is listening.

March 7, 2017 — 10:24 pm
Comments: 11

BBC, you so silly!

bbc

Oh, BBC – I can think of dozens of words for ladybits. I wouldn’t think this is a gaping hole in our vocabulary. ehhhhHHHHEHEHEHEHE.

Wait – SNIPPA?!?

BBC is a menace, though, for real. It’s pretty obvious our friends in the Fourth Estate are coordinating attacks on Trump, desperately trying to get something to stick. And some of it will stick over here, sadly. BBC dominates the news, and commercial outlets are just as bad, anyway. If all you ever get is bad information, how can you make good decisions?

Actual conversation overheard this morning, “No, Mum, it’s not just like the rise of Hitler. Yes, I know you remember the rise of Hitler, but he didn’t build walls.”

Oh, check out this article from US Snooze. Opening paragraph:

As President Donald Trump took office Friday, police in the nation’s capital walloped protesters, reporters and legal observers with batons and doused them with skin-burning pepper spray as projectiles sporadically flew in the other direction.

Walloped. Doused. Skin-burning pepper spray. See, the things the bad guys do are written in clear, muscular language. By contrast, “projectiles sporadically flew” — gently, occasionally and all by themselves, I guess. Probably paper airplanes.

Or, alternatively, protesters threw rocks at the police and the police fired back with pepper spray.

It went on in this vein, ‘…sprayed a stoop-backed older woman and a man on crutches before repeatedly striking a journalist…’ And ‘“You are all going to jail!” an officer declared after giving a penned-in group a fresh coat of pepper spray…’

Fresh coat of pepper spray. This isn’t journalism, it’s a High School Advanced Placement creative writing course.

January 26, 2017 — 10:15 pm
Comments: 18

Police seek suspect in venetian blind theft

blinds

ZOMG, I can’t stop sniggering. Yes, that’s really what you’re looking at here: a daring daylight venetian blind robbery. Dudley is a suburb of Birmingham, BTW.

If you follow local papers — and you know I do — you can’t help but notice the percentage of crime perpetrated by people who are…not genetically English. (I have to be careful here. An indelicate word, especially on social media, could land me in a world of hurt).

Unlike the US, this country has only seen a major influx of immigration in the last fifty years or so. It was pretty monocultural before that. As you might expect from such a rapid population shift, the integration isn’t going that great. The only way they’re keeping a lid on major discontent is to bring the full weight of the authorities down on anyone who dares to notice.

Hard to see that as an effective long-term solution.

October 20, 2016 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 10

Okay, I’m not reading this newspaper any more

spider

Okay, that’s it. From the newspaper that brought you “drunk, unemployed and angry German wasps” comes the headline, Sex-crazed spiders as big as mice set to invade Sussex homes. They’ve got a joker for a headline writer.

Or a furry, maybe.

Spiders. Ugh.

sock it to me

September 7, 2016 — 9:12 pm
Comments: 9

WARNING: Swarms of “drunk, unemployed and angry” German wasps could hit Sussex

yellowjacket

I thought this was yet another story about Brexit, but no — that’s the actual headline of an actual story about actual wasps. German wasps are what they call yellowjackets here, I guess (Vespula Germanica) and they’re all done mating and they’re bored and hitting the fermented fruit and lookin’ to sting a body. I guess.

I guess.

Yes, they are still running Brexit warning stories here. The BBC is especially hyperventilating about it. I don’t know what they hope to gain. Maybe they think if they panic everyone, we’ll demand a new referendum.

Thing is, as the days go by, it’s increasingly obvious that nothing catastrophic is going to happen. In fact, it’s all been rather…boring.

Except for that Remainer neighbor of ours who took to her bed for a week.

sock it to me

September 6, 2016 — 8:35 pm
Comments: 17

Unbecoming a lady

bobtur

Bob Tur is probably the most famous helicopter newsman ever, thanks to two events. He’s the guy who hovered while Reginald Denny was beaten to a whiteman smoothie during the LA riots of 1992 and he was also the guy who followed OJ’s white Ford Bronco two years later, during the world’s slowest police chase.

Half a year ago, I read a long article in Los Angeles Magazine about Tur flying to Thailand for a sex change op. It’s a sympathetic article and makes Tur sound frightened and shy. Because I read too much lefty journalism and I guess I’m super susceptible to Stockholm syndrome, I caught myself thinking, “awww, that’s nice.”

Bob Tur is also the guy in the video above (screw calling him “Zoey” or using his preferred pronouns, for reasons that will be clear in a moment). You may have seen it linked around the web over the weekend, but you may not have wanted to sit through it to the relevant bit. And you’ve probably been misled about the relevant bit.

Well, weasel to the wescue. The full clip is from some dreadful HLNtv(?) panel show called Dr Drew, the usual seven lefties and one designated righty whipping boy — in this case, Ben Shapiro.

The topic: whether Bruce Jenner deserves the Whooptido Award for Whatever. Shapiro explains that no operation can change the fact every cell in Jenner’s body still says he’s male. At this point, Tor leans in, puts his hand on the back of Shapiro’s neck and says, “you cut that out now, or you’ll go home in an ambulance.”

Click here to download the relevant eight seconds as an avi, if you care.

The point is, the leftosphere is all about how very, very much Shapiro provoked Tor. With basic biological facts. I guess. And I’m over here, like, that is the most stereotypically hyper-masculine overreaction on TV since William Buckely threatened to punch Gore Vidal in his goddamned face.

Woman’s brain in a man’s body? Ehhhh…not so much.

sock it to me

July 20, 2015 — 6:23 pm
Comments: 20

Toilet paper, bro? Really?

If I’m going to give the authorities a clear photo of me participating in a massive riot, I’m going to want to get an Xbox or a flat screen TV out of it. What say, Baltimore?

Pringles and sweet tea? Doritos? Diapers? Toilet paper? What is that, boxes of YooHoo? Six packs of cigarettes?

Okay, to be fair, cigarettes are pretty expensive.

They all look so happy, though, don’t they?

sock it to me

April 28, 2015 — 9:33 pm
Comments: 25

PICTURED: Rudely shaped carrot grown in allotment in Lower Belvedere

Actual headline. For the blind, this helpful description is provided:

It bears a resemblance to two human legs, with a growth between them that leaves little to the imagination.

It leaves everything to the imagination. It’s a flipping carrot.

Also discussed, a strawberry shaped like a penis and a carrot shaped like a foot that “caused a social media sensation.”

This isn’t the Sheep Testicle Gazette out here in the ass-end of nowhere. That’s a London paper that somehow found room for this snuggled between the muggings and burglaries.

A hard people to understand, at times.

Anyway, I broke my good camera this Summer, so Uncle B loaned me his one and I’ve now broken that too. Down-twinkles. I’m cameraless. That leaves me at the mercy of any old rude vegetable I can dig up until I buy a new one.

sock it to me

March 16, 2015 — 10:24 pm
Comments: 23

A masterful troll

Oh, well played, Rupert Murdoch’s Sun. Well played.

To be fair, they didn’t actually say they were shutting down Page 3, but they strongly suggested such. Then they went all modest (if underthings and bikinis can be called modest) for a couple of days. And now, the titties are back! (Link does not go to titties. Link goes to a Telegraph sister getting her knickers in a twist. I told you the Telegraph had gone downhill).

It’s been dee-lightful to watch this play out all day.

First the howling shrews of the Perpetually Offended Brigade were all like WE WON! And then they were all like, we won, I guess, but it doesn’t feel that satisfying, really. And now they’re all like WTF! WE DIDN’T WIN!?

The sweetest part? Today’s titties ran under the headline CLARIFICATIONS AND CORRECTIONS. I wouldn’t have realized this if Uncle B hadn’t told me: that’s the header from the ultra-lefty Guardian‘s correction column.

Sweet troll.

sock it to me

January 22, 2015 — 9:45 pm
Comments: 21