web analytics

Trick or treat

A Worthing man has admitted to making more than 1,200 nuisance calls to the NHS in a bid to satisfy his foot fetish. Richard William Cove admitted that he had rung 111 at least 1,263 times over a two year period, at a cost of more than £20,000 to the taxpayer.

Mr Cove, 45, of Boundary Road in Worthing, pretended to be an elderly woman when he called up 111. He would talk about his own height and feet while putting on the voice of an elderly woman, and then ask the 111 call handler to describe their own feet.

The most mysterious of fetishes to me, perhaps because I have ugly feet.

Here’s a word of friendly advice: don’t plug “feet” into a Google Images search, even if you limit the source to Wikimedia. Come to think of it, I guess my feet aren’t that ugly.

Uncle B reminds me someone named LavenderGirl won the Dead Pool. I never in my life heard of Bobby Bowden, but Wikipedia tells me he’s regarded as one of the greatest college football coaches of all time, so I’ll take it. I am not a sports.

Tomorrow, 6WBT, Dead Pool Round 145. Go Seminoles, I guess!

August 12, 2021 — 6:34 pm
Comments: 9

Are you still Drudging?

I’m running into a lot of people on the online complaining the Drudge has gone NeverTrump. I still go there for the quick headlines, and I’ve always assumed the negative stories were intended in a know-thine-enemy way, but I dunno. Is there something better?

One alternative I saw promoted was something called Spinquark News. It looks similar to Drudge – I mean, font and everything – and it does appear to be an adequate headline aggregator. But it has me blocked unless I set my VPN to a US server, which is a nuisance. I exchanged some messages with them about it, but as it’s a US-centric site, they weren’t inclined to drop the blocks as it stopped a lot of nuisance traffic.

I use Twitter for breaking news and the BBC for UK headlines, but with the understanding that everything they both say is a lie.

Who are you using for headline news?

p.s. Not really a news site. More like a few inspirational life hacks a day. May I recommend Fucking Homepage?

February 4, 2020 — 10:01 pm
Comments: 8

No, really


You see? You see, people? You wait long enough, every darn picture on my blog will get a repost.

The Clintons’ house caught fire today, but was quickly extinguished. They weren’t home. This is not, repeat, not a fun story. It was in the garage apartment, which is for Secret Service use.

Oh, boy — I bet that’s an awesome posting!

Say, has there been any speculation, rumor, anything post-election about what the heck was up with Hillary’s health?

January 3, 2018 — 10:15 pm
Comments: 12

Local boy makes bad


Huh. I said I had no local knowledge of the Westminster knife attacker. I was wrong. He was a local boy, and the local papers are full of it.

He was born in Kent (the county next door to the East) and spent time in prison in both East Sussex and West Sussex. A lot of time in prison. He was a very bad dude.

I had coffee with a neighbor this morning who lived in the same little town as he did for some years. She was livid that the BBC (I think it was) ran an article with a headline something like, “One of only two black men in this picturesque village, Masood never felt accepted.” Implying (but not quite daring to say) evil English racists drove him to violence.

He was a violent thug with a long arrest record and a history of knife crime and intimidation. The kind of guy, you scooped up your kids and went inside when you saw him walking down the street. Of course he was never accepted! She was seriously buttmad to be called a racist.

“The other black man in the village,” she said, “he was lovely.”

It was good to see her get a taste of the MSM, anyhow. She’s the most liberally liberal in the village.

Meanwhile, token Muslim peer ‘Baroness’ Warsi said of Masood “he was a violent Christian before he was a violent Muslim.” Which is true. He converted in prison and picked that Muslimy name. But then you have to ask, what attracts violent men to Islam, and why does it make them more violent?

Finally, our Home Secretary and local dimbulb MP, Amber Rudd, made some off-the-cuff remark on the day after the attack to the effect that Londoners going about their business proved that the terrorists will never win. Standard post-attack fare, right? Only, I have just now worked out what our leaders mean when they say that. They mean, “we don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to change anything, we don’t have to react in any way to what just happened; we’ll go on just exactly as before and that will show those old terrorists we’re not scared.”

But we are scared, fam. If you have a brain in your head, you’re scared. And they goddamn good and well better do something about it.

March 29, 2017 — 9:40 pm
Comments: 16

Rabbit holes


This thing has just popped up in my Facebook feed, so you may well have seen it. It’s a photo essay of a cave underneath a Shropshire field that was used as a place of worship by the Knights Templar. It’s a cool story: you squeeze in through a hole not much bigger than a rabbit hole, and there’s this 700-year-old maze of twisty passages carved out of the rock.

Bonus: if you follow this link in the Independent and you’re lucky in the ad rotation, you’ll get to see an animated version of the Lloyd’s ad I posted about yesterday. You know, the interracial gay wedding proposal one.

ANYway, the reason this story has popped up now (not immediately apparent unless you dig around) is that someone has been let in to take photos. Actually, the caves have been known about since forever (I guess, I couldn’t find a date) but they’ve been sealed since 2012.

The owners (it’s on private land) tried to accommodate everyone who wanted to go in, from pagans to satanists to the merely curious, and so, naturally, the graffiti, vandalism and garbage leaving got out of hand. Put up gates, gates torn down, so they sealed the whole thing. With earth, I guess.

One of the links I followed from Facebook promised video. Then I realized I was visiting the dang old Knights Templar themselves!

An organization calling themselves that, anyway. And very peculiar it is, too. The site is full of typos and grammar-os. The graphics look borrowed from video games. Their FAQ takes pain to describe the organization as non-political, not racist and welcoming to women. So, naturally, it appears to be ultra right wing, anti-feminist and all about the cultural defense of Western Christian civilization. Its centered in Brussels, of all places.

Cultural push-back. We’re going to see a lot of this.

March 8, 2017 — 8:06 pm
Comments: 13

That’s entertainment


Watching, amazed, the latest Wikileaks kerfuffle unfold this evening. I don’t usually follow news stories through Twitter, but sometimes it’s more fun than straight news on a fast-moving topic. May I recommend the Vault 7 hashtag?

Speaking of Twitter, my bank tweeted this picture at me. I like that picture. That’s the kind of picture they use when they want my business.

When they want to virtue-signal, they use this imagery. Lest you think I’m just a grumpy old bigot, they’ve been hammering that picture since before Christmas. It’s on multiple banners hanging from the ceiling of our local branch. It’s the main image on the sign-in page of their online banking site. We get it already.

I like businesses (and politicians) better when they’re pandering to me, not trying to teach me Very Special life lessons or give me my medicine.

Eh. Back to Twitter. And watch your mouth — the TV is listening.

March 7, 2017 — 10:24 pm
Comments: 11

BBC, you so silly!


Oh, BBC – I can think of dozens of words for ladybits. I wouldn’t think this is a gaping hole in our vocabulary. ehhhhHHHHEHEHEHEHE.

Wait – SNIPPA?!?

BBC is a menace, though, for real. It’s pretty obvious our friends in the Fourth Estate are coordinating attacks on Trump, desperately trying to get something to stick. And some of it will stick over here, sadly. BBC dominates the news, and commercial outlets are just as bad, anyway. If all you ever get is bad information, how can you make good decisions?

Actual conversation overheard this morning, “No, Mum, it’s not just like the rise of Hitler. Yes, I know you remember the rise of Hitler, but he didn’t build walls.”

Oh, check out this article from US Snooze. Opening paragraph:

As President Donald Trump took office Friday, police in the nation’s capital walloped protesters, reporters and legal observers with batons and doused them with skin-burning pepper spray as projectiles sporadically flew in the other direction.

Walloped. Doused. Skin-burning pepper spray. See, the things the bad guys do are written in clear, muscular language. By contrast, “projectiles sporadically flew” — gently, occasionally and all by themselves, I guess. Probably paper airplanes.

Or, alternatively, protesters threw rocks at the police and the police fired back with pepper spray.

It went on in this vein, ‘…sprayed a stoop-backed older woman and a man on crutches before repeatedly striking a journalist…’ And ‘“You are all going to jail!” an officer declared after giving a penned-in group a fresh coat of pepper spray…’

Fresh coat of pepper spray. This isn’t journalism, it’s a High School Advanced Placement creative writing course.

January 26, 2017 — 10:15 pm
Comments: 19

Police seek suspect in venetian blind theft


ZOMG, I can’t stop sniggering. Yes, that’s really what you’re looking at here: a daring daylight venetian blind robbery. Dudley is a suburb of Birmingham, BTW.

If you follow local papers — and you know I do — you can’t help but notice the percentage of crime perpetrated by people who are…not genetically English. (I have to be careful here. An indelicate word, especially on social media, could land me in a world of hurt).

Unlike the US, this country has only seen a major influx of immigration in the last fifty years or so. It was pretty monocultural before that. As you might expect from such a rapid population shift, the integration isn’t going that great. The only way they’re keeping a lid on major discontent is to bring the full weight of the authorities down on anyone who dares to notice.

Hard to see that as an effective long-term solution.

October 20, 2016 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 10

Okay, I’m not reading this newspaper any more


Okay, that’s it. From the newspaper that brought you “drunk, unemployed and angry German wasps” comes the headline, Sex-crazed spiders as big as mice set to invade Sussex homes. They’ve got a joker for a headline writer.

Or a furry, maybe.

Spiders. Ugh.

September 7, 2016 — 9:12 pm
Comments: 9

WARNING: Swarms of “drunk, unemployed and angry” German wasps could hit Sussex


I thought this was yet another story about Brexit, but no — that’s the actual headline of an actual story about actual wasps. German wasps are what they call yellowjackets here, I guess (Vespula Germanica) and they’re all done mating and they’re bored and hitting the fermented fruit and lookin’ to sting a body. I guess.

I guess.

Yes, they are still running Brexit warning stories here. The BBC is especially hyperventilating about it. I don’t know what they hope to gain. Maybe they think if they panic everyone, we’ll demand a new referendum.

Thing is, as the days go by, it’s increasingly obvious that nothing catastrophic is going to happen. In fact, it’s all been rather…boring.

Except for that Remainer neighbor of ours who took to her bed for a week.

September 6, 2016 — 8:35 pm
Comments: 17