web analytics


I’ve mentioned before that I have to field the stuff that come from the website contact form at work, 95% of which is porn spam. This is a little different:

Hello Sir!

I working for Bizcope SEO company in Bangladesh. My client needing backlinks urgently. So sir, I requesting that you give me a do follow, permanent backlink on your blog. When you are done, please sending me email to confirming. Here is my client website:

[website that sells CBD gummies]

Plz also creating a 5 star GMB and Trust Pilot reviewings too.

If I do not seeing a backlink in one week, I am create million toxic blog comment spam and redirect backlink to [my work website] and you can saying goodbye to your Google rankings for 1 year or more.

I trust you making correct decision Sir. I giving you 7 days. If I getting link from you, I will also add a back-link to [my work website] on [a totally different site that sells CBD gummies].

Best wishes from sunny Bangladesh

Dusyanthan Balasubramanian

Bolding mine.

I originally left their address in the post (hence the Google Maps image), but I have since decided they might’ve been set up. In the business comments on Maps, two other people mentioned getting this email: one thought it was a genuine extortion attempt and the other thought it was someone else trying to besmear Bizcope.

Don’t know for sure, but the English is comically bad and the return email address is a boatyard in Florida. I’m thinking probably setup.


We’re having our Easter meal today so we have four days to eat leftovers. A perfectly gigantic turkey is in the oven as I sit here typing.

Have a good Good Friday everyone, and a splendid weekend!

April 15, 2022 — 6:50 pm
Comments: 13

Well, that was inevitable

Been getting a fair amount of these lately. You?

They’re obvious phishing emails. I mean, obvious because they were auto-exiled to the spam bucket. And I live in England, for cri-yi. They actually look pretty official if you open them up.

Oh, how I worry about getting old. Have a good weekend, all!

November 1, 2013 — 11:34 pm
Comments: 18



Aiii! It’s a fiesta! Is everyone else getting a big ol’ extra helping of spam lately? I don’t get much email spam (much to the disgust of Uncle B, who gets LOTS), but I’ve seen a definite uptick lately. And my comment spams are working hard to read like comments. They fail:

terrific site this sweasel.com great to see you have what I am actually looking for here and this this post is exactly what I am interested in. I shall be pleased to become a regular visitor

Eh. No you shan’t. No link in the message; the email address linked to a YouTube video about cheap car insurance.

From Russia with luncheonmeat:

Hello, dear colleagues.
Sori what not absolutely on a site theme sweasel.com I write.
To me it is very strong the script a cursor the auction Internet as on [url=http://redacted.ru/]the Scandinavian auction[/url] http://redacted.ru/ is necessary but that the script was free and it was possible to download!
I wish to open similar the Internet auction with antiques. Give advice please: how to open such the Internet auction?
Yours faithfully, Lena Ilyin.

You can just feel meaning struggling to break through the gibberish, can’t you? “Hi, guys! Sorry to be off-topic, but…”

This guy next decides to hump our collective leg for a moment before he makes his pitch:

Hi Everbody

I just became a member of this forum

Great work by the admin, mods and seriously every member around.

Yesterday I read that there is a treatment for diabetes on http://www.redacted.org
Is this way of curing diabetes mentioned actually true, If so I should have found out earlier! The source looks like a reliable healthcare news website

Could you someone tell me if this healthcare information is for real?

The weird thing is, I think he’s selling ringtones. At least, that’s where his email address points. What’s the deal with ringtones, anyhow? I understand the lucrative potential of Viagra and replica watches — theoretically — but ringtones?

That’s what this guy is selling, too. I love this one. Which is good, because I’ve gotten it more than once:


I kno it has nothing to do with what you wrote, but have you ever heard of http://www.redacted.info/ringtones.php . They seems to promise free ringtones

PS. Dont be an ass, this is NOT spam 😉

The postscript. It’s adorable. It’s not often I get called an ass with a winky-smiley.

Uncle B has a theory that you can tell your fortune from your spam. Unfortunately, I think his method involves splitting open spammers and examining their entrails.

April 22, 2009 — 7:25 pm
Comments: 30

Spaminated. Enspamnified. All spambled up.

ttlb ecosystem

Heh. Check out the #1 blog in the TTLB ecosystem: Grandfather Clocks Blog. “Whoa!” thinks Weasel, “with 58,541 hits to Michelle Malkin’s paltry 6,139, that site has to be a real hotbed of hot beds.”

It is, in fact, a boring site selling grandfather clocks. How they gamed the incoming links, I do not know.

I have a hate/hate relationship with TTLB. The rating system broke days after I started up this site, so I was a Jaunty Plague Bacillus or an Irregularly-Shaped Mole on your Ass or whatever it was for two months. And now it arbitrarily adds and removes links from me in a random way, irrespective of, you know, people linking to me and stuff.

I know, I know: all the cool kids pretend they don’t care about traffic. But it’s like that goddamned bear is messing with me or something.

December 3, 2007 — 5:44 pm
Comments: 24

Grim milestone

spams killed

For some reason, the old WordPress sites gets a ton more comment spam. Maybe the spamming software just walks down the list of “wordpress” domains, trying all the doors. This is especially useless as the founder of WordPress is also the guy who wrote Akismet, which has proved to be an extraordinarily accurate spam filter. Except, it hates Lokki. That’s just the way it is.

Very pleased at the comment-to-post ratio, incidentally. Thank you. Entrapping good commenters is the hardest part. Many otherwise excellent blogs never manage it.

I put it down to 1957 Plymouth Belvedere, booger haiku and the
sweet, sweet smell of weasel.

August 22, 2007 — 2:02 pm
Comments: 33

Four bottles of fizz and the world biggest chocolate Easter bunny


Right! We made it! And I got my wifi working!

To kick off Weasel’s Birthday Fortnight (yes, my actual birthday was toward the beginning of the month. This here’s the celebration), I was presented with this fucking ginormous Lindt bunny and several bottles of excellent champers.

The hooch on the far right above is, I think, my favorite. It’s Heidsieck Monopole Blue Top. It was the official champagne of the maiden voyage of the Titanic (which, as you may have heard, was the only voyage of the Titanic). I didn’t know this when I decided it was my favorite, so it’s…fate, not posturing.

Heidsieck Monopole Blue Top is kosher. And not plain old kosher for Passover, but extra specially jewy kosher. I’m a little unclear what that means, but you’ll find the exhaustive account here. Me, I’m only Jewish when the Jehovah’s Witnesses come ’round. I was christened a Presbyterian.

In 1916, a Heidsieck-laden ship bound for Russia was torpedoed by the Germans in the Gulf of Finland. It turned up again in 1998 and over 2,000 bottles of vintage 1907 fizz have been salvaged from it. The water’s cold, the bottles are apparently still drinkable.

This isn’t one of those. It’s an ordinary bottle from the supermarket, but it sure am fine.

And there. That’s the last drop.

Meanwhile, I see you knuckleheads have been writing haiku and trying to trip Akismet. None of it made it into the spam filter, but I suppose you know that by now. It doesn’t seem to care about naughty words. I think it hones in pretty exclusively on links. More than two are guaranteed quarantine.

But, hey, knock yourselves out. You’re welcome to post any wirty dords you like and see what sticks. (You know, I don’t think “wirty dords” really works all that well in print).

May 17, 2007 — 8:03 pm
Comments: 8

We’d be in a world of hurt

If spammers weren’t such utter retards. I just picked this one out of the spam filter:

Oh, nice idea and works good! but i had read it and i have swift trucking
Best regards

Yeah, I hate when I get swift trucking tepee pneumonia. It lingers on for weeks.

March 27, 2007 — 6:28 am
Comments: 6