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Special weekend report: arms race intensifies


Saturday, June 30, 2007; 4:59 PM

GLASGOW, Scotland – In a new and worrying development in the arms race between Islamic radicals and the West, a hitherto unknown weapon was unleashed today at Glasgow Airport, the Weasel Times has learned.

A source in the British military, speaking on condition of anonymity, described the device as “some kind of sophisticated incendiary bomb. Self-propelled. Precision guided. Bipedal.”

The device apparently detonated prematurely, setting fire to the Lifestyles magazine rack and part of the self-help section at WH Smith. “Who knows what would have happened if this thing had kept going,” one witness remarked, “it weaved around a little, but, man, it was really going up good.” Fire crews are on the scene.

“We’re completely stymied,” the military spokesman continued, “This level of technical sophistication is simply unknown to us in the West. It’s a totally new class of munition.”

“God help us all,” he added.

June 30, 2007 — 4:08 pm
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